Читать книгу Tall, Dark... Collection - Кэрол Мортимер, Carole Mortimer - Страница 29

‘CHEER up, Nick,’ Hebe told him lightly, as they drove away from the doctor’s consulting rooms two hours later. ‘It might never happen!’

It already had, as far as he was concerned.

Neil Adams’s prognosis had been excellent, assuring them that Hebe probably would not have the same problem during childbirth as her mother had, and that even if she did, now that he was aware of it, he was sure they could deal with it when the time came. He had told them to just go away until next month, when he would examine Hebe again, and enjoy the pregnancy.

Something Nick hadn’t let Hebe do too much of so far!

Admittedly, they had only known about it for a few days, but Nick was all too aware that he had made those days pretty miserable for Hebe.

Even if she did seem bright and bubbly now!

He was still slightly in shock over discovering that the portrait had been of another woman, after all. Claudia—Hebe’s mother.

How stunned Hebe must have been when he’d produced that portrait, knowing it wasn’t her even as Nick accused her of all manner of indiscretions.

God, it made him cringe to remember the awful things he had said to her!

Accusations he certainly owed her an apology for.

But he owed her more than that, he acknowledged heavily. He owed Hebe the offer of her freedom, along with his support, emotionally and financially, during her pregnancy and after…

She had been so adamant on Thursday that she wasn’t pregnant, so convinced that she couldn’t be, and she must have been totally shellshocked when the tests had shown that she was.

And what had he done? Armed with the knowledge—so he’d thought—that Hebe had once been engaged to Jacob Gardner and then had had an unsuccessful affair with Andrew Southern, he had accused her of getting pregnant on purpose in order to trap herself a millionaire husband, that was what he had done!

When what he should have been doing was assuring her that everything would work out fine, that he would look after her during her pregnancy, telling her that she would have no worries after the baby was born either, because he would care for both of them.

He should have made all those offers without conditions, without even thinking she might want to marry him, let alone forcing her into doing so!

He glanced at her briefly now, appreciative of just how beautiful she was. It was odd, but she appeared even more so since the doctor had confirmed her pregnancy. She seemed to have taken on that inner glow, her eyes deeply golden, her face creamy and flushed.

She was everything and more that he could ever want in a wife, he realised. She had shown herself to be loyal and loving where her parents were concerned, understanding of the youthful mother who had died giving her life, and, most of all, she had put up with his boorish behaviour when inside she must have felt like screaming her innocence at him.

Yes, Hebe was just too good for him, and he had to let her go.

Nick didn’t look too happy, Hebe had to acknowledge, wondering what he could possibly be scowling about so darkly.

‘I do believe that Claudia was just a rebellious teenager who got into a situation way over her head…’ she began tentatively.

‘Could we leave this for now, Hebe?’ Nick rasped curtly. ‘Obviously we need to talk, but I would rather wait until we get back ho—to the apartment,’ he corrected harshly.

She grimaced at this noticeable change of word. ‘I was only trying to explain to you that I’m well past the rebellious teenager stage. So you needn’t fear a repeat of my mother’s behaviour.’

Nick shot her a narrow-eyed glance. ‘Claudia was just a kid.’

‘Exactly.’ Hebe nodded. ‘I just thought I would mention it, in case you think that sort of behaviour is hereditary too.’

If it were possible, Nick now looked even more unapproachable.

Personally, she was relieved to have the truth out in the open.

Her parents had returned home to Cambridgeshire soon after the four of them had sat down for a snack lunch Hebe had prepared—with Hebe’s promise that she would call them later, to let them know how she had got on at the doctor’s.

Strangely, Hebe felt closer to her parents than ever now that she knew they were actually her grandparents, and her mother had promised to get out all the old photographs of Claudia the next time Hebe went home. Hebe felt more as if Claudia had been a sister rather than her mother—the age difference between them was really not that great.

And the child she was expecting would help to bridge any lingering awkwardness there might be at the truth at last being told, binding them all together as a family.

Although Hebe wasn’t sure, after a sideways glance at Nick’s uncompromising face, that he still wanted to be a part of that family…

She wasn’t in the least reassured once they got back to the apartment. Instead of sitting down, Nick paced up and down the room like a caged tiger.

‘What is it, Nick?’ she finally prompted with a sigh. ‘Do you want to call the wedding off? Is that it?’

He stopped his pacing to look at her. ‘Is that what you want?’

Her heart sank. She had only asked the question halfheartedly, sure that Nick would still want to marry her, if only to gain complete access to his child.

Then she remembered Sally’s telephone call the previous evening and her spirits sank.

She stiffened defensively. ‘I asked you first.’

He gave a humourless smile. ‘Let’s not play that particular game, shall we?’ He looked down at her grimly. ‘What do you want, Hebe?’

She wanted him!

But she wanted all of him, heart and soul, not just the small part of himself he was willing to give her.

And she knew he didn’t have it to give. She knew that part of him still belonged to Sally…

He was more remote than he had ever seemed before—the expression on his rakishly handsome face arrogantly distant, not even the denims and casual blue polo-neck he had changed into before they went out making him seem accessible.

Something had changed since last night, and she didn’t believe it was only what they now knew about Claudia. Nick’s mood had been dark before they had discovered that, which only left Sally’s telephone call.

Why didn’t she answer him, damn it? Nick brooded impatiently. Why didn’t she tell him exactly what she thought of him, and the way he had treated her, and then just walk out of here? It was what he deserved, after all.

He forced his expression to relax. ‘I’m willing to go along with whatever it is you want, Hebe,’ he assured her quietly.

She continued to look at him for several long seconds, drawing in a ragged breath before answering him. ‘Do you believe me when I tell you that I didn’t intentionally get pregnant, that it was as much of a surprise to me as it was to you?’

‘I believe you.’ He nodded. ‘I’m sorry that I ever accused you of behaving any differently. I apologise. Most sincerely. There’s simply no excuse for the things I’ve said, the things I’ve done.’ He ran a hand over his eyes. ‘You have every reason to hate me.’

‘I don’t hate you, Nick,’ she mused ruefully. ‘You’re the father of my baby, after all.’

Yes, he was. He was most certainly that. And even if he couldn’t hold on to Hebe, he could still continue to see her through their child.

It wouldn’t be enough. It would never be enough. But if it was all she was willing to give him he knew he would have to accept that.

It was too late, far too late, for him to try to woo this woman, he had hurt her and wounded her too much for that ever to be possible.

‘I am sorry, Hebe,’ he breathed shakily.

She was very pale now. ‘Don’t be,’ she assured him gently. ‘I—I’ll go now, then?’ she prompted softly.

Nick wanted to get down on his knees, to beg her not to go, and convince her that it would all be so different if she would only stay with him. But that wouldn’t be fair of him. He had already messed up her life enough by giving her a child she had neither expected nor wanted, without adding to her misery.

‘Will you ever be able to forgive me?’ He couldn’t stop himself from groaning.

‘We can’t choose where we love, Nick,’ she said flatly. ‘It’s either there or it isn’t.’

And Nick could see that it most certainly wasn’t there for Hebe where he was concerned!

Maybe this was his punishment for treating her the way he had. To love a woman who would never, ever love him in return.

Hebe just wanted to get this conversation over with. She couldn’t stand it any more. She was sure now that Nick was going back to New York to be with Sally. He would make himself financially responsible for their child, but that was it.

Maybe it was better that it had happened now, before the two of them had made the mistake of getting married—but she just didn’t know how she was going to bear it.

Nick would pop in and out of her life and the baby’s, a virtual stranger to both of them, his life and his love elsewhere.

Was this how it had been for Claudia? In love with Andrew Southern but rejected by him, and discarded by Jacob Gardner, too, when he’d discovered her relationship with the other man?

But Claudia had only been eighteen years of age, whereas she was twenty-six and, as she had told Nick on more than one occasion, more than capable of taking care of herself.

She certainly wasn’t going to ask for the love of a man who couldn’t be with her because he still loved his first wife!

She stood up abruptly. ‘I really think I should go now, Nick. I’ll just go and pack my things. Thank goodness Gina hasn’t had time yet to find another flatmate,’ she added as an attempt at a joke. But her smile and the rest of her face felt as if they were rigidly set.

‘I’ll drive you back to your apartment—’

‘That really isn’t necessary—’

‘Necessary or not, I intend doing it,’ Nick insisted determinedly. ‘It’s the least I can do,’ he added.

‘Okay, then. Thank you,’ she accepted softly.

They both looked as if they had been through a war—and lost, Hebe decided as she went through to the spare bedroom to collect her things. She hadn’t really had time to unpack yet. Five minutes to throw her things back in the case, and she would be out of here.

Out of Nick’s life for good.

She only hoped she’d manage to hold back the tears until she was safely back at the flat. It would be just too humiliating if she were to start crying in front of him.

She didn’t belong here anyway, she decided with a last look around the beautiful bedroom with its four-poster bed. Neither she nor the baby belonged here.

‘Let me take that for you,’ Nick said, and he took the suitcase out of Hebe’s hand when she came back from the bedroom. ‘I—I have the portrait ready for you to take, too,’ he added calmly, indicating it wrapped on the sofa and ready to go.

He hadn’t been sure what to do about Claudia’s portrait. He had thought of offering it to the Johnsons before they left, but it hadn’t seemed quite appropriate somehow. But for Hebe, for the moment, it was the only picture she had of her mother, and it surely belonged with her.

He didn’t need the portrait to be reminded of Hebe, anyway. He knew he would have the image of her inside his head every day for the rest of his life.

Hebe looked startled by the offer. ‘Oh, I couldn’t,’ she refused stiltedly. ‘I—it’s an original Andrew Southern, worth a lot of money. Show it in your gallery or something—’ she added awkwardly.

‘It belongs to you, Hebe,’ Nick cut in firmly. ‘Not in a public gallery.’

She had taken just about all she could take from him today. She was holding on to her emotions by a very thin thread, and now she knew that he didn’t want even Claudia’s portrait in his apartment as a reminder of the mistake he had almost made.

‘Frightened you might get all the men panting over a portrait of the grandmother of your son or daughter, Nick?’ she taunted.

He deserved that, Nick decided heavily. And more.

‘I just want you to have it, Hebe,’ he answered abruptly. ‘It belongs to you and your family.’

But as Nick had said, it was hardly the sort of portrait she could hang over the fireplace in the family sitting room!

‘Fine,’ she accepted tersely. ‘I suppose I can always sell it one day, and put the money into trust for our son or daughter.’

Nick winced slightly. ‘I will provide for our child, Hebe. As I will provide for you.’

Hebe shook her head. ‘Only until I can go back to work again, and earn my own living. No need to pay for the mistake twice,’ she added derisively.

‘Our baby is not a mistake!’ he snapped impatiently, his handsome face livid with anger.

Hebe eyed him ruefully. ‘I was talking about me, Nick, not the baby.’

His dark brows were low over his narrowed blue eyes. ‘You weren’t a mistake either, Hebe,’ he muttered gruffly.

Hebe knew she was something he was going to have to explain to Sally when he returned to New York and the two of them had that ‘talk’. She only hoped the other woman would understand, would accept that he hadn’t compounded his mistake by actually marrying Hebe.

Which reminded her…‘I’ll leave it up to you to see that the wedding arrangements are cancelled.’After all, except for the day and time, she didn’t really know what those arrangements were, anyway.

‘I’ll see to that—yes.’ He nodded tersely. ‘Now, can we get the hell out of here?’ he rasped impatiently. ‘I’ve never liked goodbyes, and this one is—Let’s just go, huh?’ He ran a hand through the long thickness of his hair.

‘You’ll be wanting this back, too.’ Hebe started to take the yellow sapphire and diamond ring off her finger.

‘Will you please stop adding insult to injury?’ Nick snapped forcefully, glaring down at her. ‘The ring is yours. The portrait is yours. And anything else I can get you to accept from me will be yours, too.’

But not his heart.

Not his love.

Which was all she really wanted…

But pride could only take her so far, and she knew that in the months ahead she was going to need Nick’s financial help, at least. She wished she were in a position to turn away that offer of help, but she wasn’t—not without becoming a burden to her parents. It was no good even pretending she was.

‘Fine,’ she accepted tersely. ‘I’m ready to go if you are.’ She nodded.

Nick wasn’t sure he would ever be ready to help Hebe leave his life in this way. But he also knew he didn’t have a choice. Because he had done this to himself.

If only he hadn’t seen that portrait and assumed it was Hebe. If only he had listened to her when she’d told him it wasn’t her. If only he hadn’t acted on the assumption that she had already tried to entrap two wealthy men and failed. He’d believed that he was just the third in line, with the added inducement of pregnancy before the marriage this time. If he hadn’t, maybe he would have been able to ask Hebe to give him a second chance.

But he had done all of those things.

And Hebe walking out of his life was exactly what he deserved!

Hebe could quite easily have broken down and cried on the journey to her flat, staring out through the side window of the car as she blinked back those ready tears, determined she had to hold on until after Nick had left her—because she couldn’t let him see how much this parting from him was hurting her.

She didn’t even know when she was going to see him again.

Or if.

Nick might just decide to handle all the financial details through his lawyers, and eventual access to the baby would be handled in the same way.

Even being forced into marrying Nick would be better than never knowing when or if she would ever see him again!

She turned to him after unlocking the door to her flat. ‘Can I continue to work at the gallery until—until—’

‘Work at the gallery as long as you want to—or not. Whatever you decide to do,’ he came back curtly. ‘I’ll instruct Jane as such when I get back.’

‘I just—’

‘Hebe, can we go inside? This portrait weighs a ton!’ He grimaced, resting the painting against his knee. ‘I’ve probably given myself a hernia carrying it up the stairs as it is!’

She smiled. ‘You—’

‘Excuse me,’ a voice behind them interrupted. ‘I’m looking for Flat—’ The voice broke of abruptly.

Hebe had turned at the first query, her gaze becoming quizzical as the man stopped speaking, his face slowly draining of colour as he just stood and stared at her.

‘Claudia…?’ the man gasped disbelievingly.

There was only one man Hebe could think of who might mistake her for her mother.

But it couldn’t be—!