Читать книгу A Mother by Nature - Caroline Anderson - Страница 7

ADAM was due to start the day with a clinic, followed by a ward round to meet the new admissions on whom he’d operate that afternoon. He’d gone back to the ward and checked the notes yesterday evening, and had been foolishly disappointed to find that Anna had gone.

Pity. He’d wanted to tell her about his part in Karl’s operation, and discuss what they’d done.

Strictly business, of course. Still, he’d see her today.

That lock of hair that kept falling forward and curving round her cheek was plaguing him. He’d been having fantasies about it all night—which was crazy because he always had fantasies about dark hair spread across his pillow in a fan, and hers was short and red. Dark red, admittedly, but red for all that, and far too short to fan satisfactorily.

Still, he wondered how it would feel sifting through his fingers …

Like silk. It was soft, heavy hair, essentially straight, with just enough bounce to curve under and curl around the pale pearly shell of her ear …

Damn.

He scooped the post off the floor in the lobby and scanned through it, grinding to a halt at the telephone bill. It was the final bill for the old house, and it took his mind off Anna and her attributes very effectively.

He opened it with grim resignation, but even his wildest expectations were exceeded by its stunning proportions. Helle must truly have spent all day, every day, on the phone to her family and friends in Denmark.

He shook his head in despair, and ran upstairs to her room, rapping loudly on the door. ‘Helle? Get up now. I want to talk to you immediately.’

There was a shuffling noise, and the door opened to reveal his hapless young au pair, her hair on end, her eyes blurred with sleep, dragging on a dressing-gown.

‘What’s the matter?’ she asked, looking puzzled.

‘This is the matter,’ Adam said tightly, brandishing the thing under her nose. ‘The telephone bill. It runs into four figures, Helle, and it’s not even a complete quarter. I want you downstairs dressed in five minutes, and you’d better have a damn good explanation or you’ll be packing your bags and catching the next flight home.’

‘Good,’ she said miserably, and burst into tears. ‘I want to go home. I hate it here.’

You’re a sucker, he told himself as he opened his arms and comforted the young woman while she cried. She was little more than a child herself, and it was a lot of responsibility. He should have talked to her more, been kinder to her, instead of expecting so much.

‘Come downstairs,’ he said more gently, easing her out of his arms. ‘We’ll have a cup of tea and talk about it before the children get up.’

She nodded and sniffed, scrubbing her nose on the sleeve of her dressing-gown. ‘I’ll get dressed.’

‘Good idea.’

He ran back down, put the kettle on and glanced at his watch. It was still only six-thirty, and he wondered if Anna was up yet or if she worked nine to five to cover admissions and pre- and post-ops. If she worked shifts and was on an early she’d be on her way there now. If not, she might still be in bed, her hair tangled round her face, her lashes like crescents on her cheeks, her mouth soft with sleep—

‘You need a life, Bradbury,’ he growled, and banged two mugs down on the worktop just as Helle came into the room.

She hovered apprehensively in the doorway, and he waved her in. ‘Come in, sit down, I’m not going to bite you. I just want to know what’s going on.’

She sat but, being Helle, she couldn’t just sit. She played with the salt, she shredded a paper towel that had been left on the table, tearing it systematically into tiny strips while she waited for the axe to fall.

‘Talk to me. Tell me all about it,’ Adam said softly, sliding a mug across the battered old pine table, and she looked up, her eyes like huge pools filling yet again.

‘I’m just lonely—I want my mum. I’m homesick. I thought it would get better, but then you said we were moving and I had to say goodbye to all my friends, and I thought, how will I cope in a new place?’

A tear fell, splashing on her hand, and she scrubbed it away and went on, ‘It was hard before, when my friend Silke was just round the corner. Now it’s impossible. I don’t know anybody, and the children are at school and there’s nothing to do, and I just sit and cry—’

‘So you ring your mum.’

She nodded miserably. ‘I’m sorry, Adam. I didn’t realise it would be so expensive.’

‘It’s as much as your wages,’ he pointed out, not unreasonably.

‘But some is you,’ she defended with truth, and he shrugged.

‘A little. Perhaps the first hundred pounds.’

She swallowed. ‘May I see it?’

He handed her the bill—the itemised section that ran to page after page—and she studied it in silence and handed it back.

‘Are you going to send me home?’

‘Do you want to go? Do you really want to go? Are you so unhappy? I don’t want you to be unhappy, Helle. It doesn’t help anyone—not you, not me, and certainly not the children.’

She nodded and sniffed. ‘I do want to go. I’ll miss the children, but I’m so lonely. It wouldn’t be so bad if you had a wife, it would be another woman to talk to. It’s different—I can’t talk to you like I could to a woman.’

Nothing would be so bad if he had a wife, he thought defeatedly, including his own loneliness, but it was out of the question. Lyn’s defection had scarred them all, and there was no way he was going there again.

‘I’ll ask my mum,’ Helle went on, miserably shredding another paper towel. ‘Maybe she’ll pay the phone bill.’

‘Never mind the phone bill. Just do me a favour and stay until I can get someone else, and then I’ll forget the bill—OK? Only stay off the damn phone in the daytime, please, until you go home. Deal?’

He wouldn’t understand women if he lived to be a hundred, he thought as Helle burst into tears. He found her an unshredded piece of kitchen roll and watched as she hiccuped to a halt and blotted herself up.

‘Deal,’ she said finally.

‘Good. Now, do you suppose you could get the children up in time for school today, please?’

She nodded. ‘I’ll wake them now.’

He ate a piece of toast, kissed the children hello and goodbye in one and left for work, his mind on his afternoon list. He had yet to meet the other members of his firm, the registrars and house doctors that were allocated to him in this new speciality that the Audley Memorial had set up.

Most hospitals had one or two consultants who tended to handle the paediatric work. It was unusual to find a post dedicated to it, and he was looking forward to the challenge. He understood they would take referrals from other hospitals within the region once his post was established—it would become the local specialist centre for paediatric orthopaedics, centralising treatment in Suffolk and making it more accessible for patients and their families.

That meant better visiting arrangements, which in turn meant happier patients getting better quicker. He approved of that.

Adam parked his car in the staff car park, then crossed it and palmed the door out of the way and caught himself all but running down the corridor to the ward. Idiot, he thought crossly. She’s probably not even there yet—and if she is, she’ll be busy.

She was. She was taking report, and he went into the kitchen and put the kettle on and made two mugs of tea. She wouldn’t be long.

‘Tea,’ he said, thrusting a mug at her, and Anna took it gratefully and drank it too fast, almost scalding her mouth. It was delicious—almost as delicious as him—and nearly as welcome.

‘I needed that. How did you know?’ she said with a smile as she drained it, and he gave a chuckle and made her another one.

‘I wanted to go through the notes of my afternoon list with you,’ he said over his shoulder as he stirred the teabag round. ‘I think you know some of the patients.’

She nodded. ‘Sure. Shall we go into the office?’

‘Have you got time?’

She grinned at him. ‘One of the nice things about this job is being able to delegate most of it! Come on, I can spare you ten minutes. The notes are in there still.’

She settled down in her chair, her knees propped up on the edge of the desk, her uniform trousers protecting her modesty. ‘Tell me about Karl first,’ she prompted, trying to concentrate on something other than his long, lean legs stretched out across the floor in her office and the casual way he slouched against her desk.

‘Karl? Oh, the lad yesterday. Robert let me assist—it was interesting. We plated it. When we got in there it was quite obvious that the bone had made no attempt to heal. The main reason seemed to be that it had rotated out of alignment, so we had to break the ulna as well to correct the rotation so we could line it all up properly. We plated both just to be on the safe side. It should be a better shape than it was before, anyway, so in a strange way it might have done him a favour. How is he now?’

‘Bit groggy. Quieter than yesterday, I gather. I think he had quite a good night. Was it very traumatic to the tissues?’

He shrugged. ‘Fairly. I would expect it to be quite sore for a day or two. It was obviously quite a nasty break—I had a look at the earlier plates. It seems likely that he tried to do too much too soon and twisted it out of position inside the cast. By the time it was noticed, it was too late.’

‘That’s what you get for trying to fix an active young hellion conservatively,’ Anna said with a smile. ‘They need everything screwed together because they all want a quick fix.’

‘Everybody wants a quick fix,’ he said with a sigh. ‘I think my au pair’s going to want a quick fix. I confronted her with the phone bill this morning and she announced she wanted to go home. I bribed her by offering to forget the phone bill if she’d stay until I’d got a replacement.’

‘And?’

He shrugged. ‘She says she’ll stay—for now, at least.’

Anna felt a pang of sympathy. ‘Was it horrendous?’ she asked, and he rolled his eyes.

‘Try four figures.’

Anna’s jaw dropped. For the life of her she couldn’t conceive of finding time to build up a phone bill that huge, never mind having anyone she wanted to talk to that much!

Well. Maybe that wasn’t true—not any more. She could imagine curling up in the evening and having long, cosy chats to this man—

‘Let’s talk about your afternoon list,’ she said, dragging herself back to earth hastily. ‘Who have you got that I know?’

‘A baby with congenital club foot? David Chisholm. I think he’s been in here. He’s about eighteen months.’

Anna thought for a moment. ‘David—yes, he has. I remember him. He’s had a couple of ops already to let out the short structures on the inside of the legs. He was very bad—worst case I’ve seen, I think, not that we’ve had that many. I thought they’d got quite a good result?’

Adam nodded. ‘That’s right, but he needs another op because he’s grown and the feet are turning in again.’

‘Aren’t they splinting it?’

He nodded again. ‘Yes, but it’s not keeping up. I’m going to release the tendons again—it’s fairly rare, of course, so you don’t tend to get that much practice at this sort of thing, but we’re learning new ways of dealing with it. Sadly, it’s never going to be quite normal, of course, and I haven’t met the parents yet so I don’t know what their expectations are.’

‘High, I think. Most parents’ expectations are high. They think we can sort out everything.’

‘Well, I’ll certainly try my best, but I’m only human,’ he said with a wry smile, and her heart hiccuped. Only human’s fine by me, she wanted to tell him, but she was being silly again.

One smile! she thought crossly. One smile and you keel over and submit! You’d make a good dog.

Anna tried to pay attention—she really did—but it was hard. In the end she was rescued by the arrival of a new admission, and she went to deal with him and escaped from the intoxicating and mind-bending cosiness of her office. She was busy for the rest of the day, rushed off her feet for most of it, and by the end of it she was feeling ragged.

Then Adam walked onto the ward, still in Theatre scrubs, and her heart did that silly thing all over again and she wanted to kick herself.

‘Hi,’ he said, his voice soft and low. Shivers ran down her back, and she forced herself to ignore them.

‘Hi, yourself,’ she said with what she hoped was a friendly smile and not an infatuated drool. ‘How was your list?’

‘OK. A couple are in SCBU, but you should have the rest. How’s little David?’

‘Sick and sore, I think. Well, probably more uncomfortable than sore. His mother’s with him, but she’s pregnant again and she’s finding it quite wearing. I keep sending my nurses to rescue her so she can go and have a cup of tea, but she won’t let me.’

‘Is she staying all night?’

Anna nodded. ‘Yes. She needs to rest, but she won’t leave him till he settles.’

‘Can I have a quick look?’ he asked.

‘Sure. He’s over here.’

They went over to the baby and his mother and, as Anna had expected, the little boy was propped up against her shoulder, grizzling gently, and she was rubbing his back and making soothing noises. They weren’t working.

‘Hello, Mrs Chisholm,’ Adam said, hunkering down to her level and smiling at her with that special smile. ‘How are things?’

‘Oh—hello, Doctor. I’m so glad you’ve come. Not too bad. How was it? Have you been able to do it?’

‘It was OK,’ he said reassuringly. ‘I’ve managed to get quite a bit of length on the tendons, so we were able to get his feet into a more normal position in the casts. He’ll be a bit miserable for a day or so, but we’re giving him plenty of pain relief so he’s not really hurting. Once the first few days are over you’ll find he’s walking much better. May I have a look?’

She held the little boy out, and Adam took him and straightened.

‘Hello again, young man. Can I have a look at your feet?’ he said softly, his smile gentle. The baby rested sleepily against him with a little whimper, and Adam soothed him automatically before laying him down in the cot.

His movements were sure and practised, Anna thought. You could tell he was a father. His hand brushed the baby’s head, smoothing back the damp, ruffled hair that clung to his brow, and quickly he scanned the boy’s legs with his eyes.

‘I’m checking the colour and warmth of his toes and that the dressings you can see through these windows in the casts aren’t showing signs of leaking of the wounds,’ he explained. ‘Perhaps you could keep an eye on that for us, as you’re here. It’s possible the legs might swell after a little while, but we’ll keep a constant check, and if you notice anything different, perhaps you could tell us.’

She nodded. ‘Of course.’

‘He looks fine at the moment,’ he went on, raising his voice over the baby’s unhappy protests. ‘I’m pleased. He seems a bit grizzly, though. Perhaps he’s not that comfortable. We’ll give him something to settle him.’

‘I think he needs to sleep,’ Mrs Chisholm said, ‘but every time I put him down he cries, and I don’t like to disturb the other children.’

‘Don’t worry about the other children,’ Anna hastened to assure her. ‘He won’t cry for long. He’s dead beat. He’ll go off in seconds if you can just bear to let him cry.’

‘I just feel so mean,’ she said, clearly torn.

‘Perhaps you should go and get something to eat and leave him quietly alone for a little while and try it,’ Adam suggested. ‘You might find he drops off if you aren’t here to cuddle—it’s not worth staying awake then.’ The smile robbed his suggestion of any criticism, and she nodded wearily.

‘I could murder a cup of tea and a leg stretch, and probably something to eat, actually. I was going to wait until my husband came back and go then, so David wasn’t on his own, but are you sure he’ll be all right?’

‘Of course he’ll be all right,’ Anna assured her firmly. ‘We’ll look after him. If he doesn’t settle in a minute I’ll get someone to cuddle him till you’re back, but you’ve got to look after yourself and the other baby.’

She nodded again. ‘OK. Thanks.’

They watched her go, and she was hardly out of the ward before little David stopped grizzling and started to relax into much-needed sleep.

‘Peace at last,’ Anna said with a soft chuckle, and covered the little boy lightly with his blanket. ‘He’ll be all right now. Do you still want to give him something?’

Adam shook his head. ‘Not if he doesn’t need it. I’ll write him up for something in case he wakes in the night and is distressed. What are you doing now? Got time to look at my others with me?’

She glanced at the clock on the wall and groaned. ‘Not really. Apparently, it’s time to go home and I still haven’t finished. Do you need me with you to look at your other patients?’

‘I wouldn’t mind, but it isn’t necessary. Anyway I suspect they’re all asleep. Are their parents here?’

‘Yes, all of them. I’m sure they’d love to see you and ask you about the operations.’

He nodded, pursed his lips for a moment as he, too, glanced at his watch, and then he shrugged. ‘I’ll go and see them. You don’t have to stay, I’m sure I can find my way around.’

‘I’ll show you where they are and leave you to it. I have to hand over to Allie. Those two beds there,’ she told him, pointing, ‘and that one in the far corner. OK? Shout if you need help. Allie will sort you out.’

‘OK. Thanks. See you tomorrow.’

His smile warmed her. Reluctantly, she dragged herself back to her other tasks, handed over and left the ward with only a handful of backward glances.

She went home, put the kettle on while she changed into jeans and a comfy sweater, and sat down with her feet up and a cup of tea in front of the TV news. It didn’t hold her attention. It couldn’t even begin to compete with that sexy smile and the smoky green eyes that were beginning to haunt her every waking moment.

What made him so different? Nothing obvious. Over the years she’d been out with several men, most of them very pleasant, most of them perfectly nice.

Nice. Pleasant.

She didn’t want ‘nice’ and ‘pleasant’. She wanted someone who made her blood sing, whose touch would reduce her to putty, whose eyes could turn her heart inside out and melt her into a puddle at his feet.

They hadn’t all been nice, of course. There had been Jim—he’d been charming and utterly faithless. She’d had her fingers burned by him and had been much more circumspect after that. Not that she’d ever been in the slightest bit promiscuous, but everyone seemed to imagine that if you dated them more than twice at the outside you were destined for bed.

Anna didn’t work like that. It had to be right, and it had only been right very rarely. Just recently—like in the last three years or so—it hadn’t been right at all.

‘You’re turning into a desperate old maid,’ she said in disgust. ‘One smile from a halfway presentable man and you’re there waiting with your tongue hanging out. That’s so sad.’

She smacked her mug down, stood up and went through into the kitchen. The fridge revealed very little of any interest, and the freezer was worse.

‘Great,’ she said in disgust. ‘I have to go shopping. Marvellous.’

She slammed the freezer door, stuffed her feet into her old trainers and pulled on her tatty but snuggly duffle-coat. She wasn’t going to see anyone. She didn’t need to dress up.

She drove to the nearest supermarket, picked up a little trolley and started wandering randomly up and down the aisles. Nothing appealed. Well, nothing healthy. She glanced into the trolley next to her, wondering what other people ate that might be more interesting than the usual things that she bought, and she sighed.

Fish fingers, low-fat oven chips, frozen veg, chicken legs, rice—about as inspired as hers, except that this trolley actually had something in it.

Three loaves of bread, lots of tuna and ham and salad ingredients, little cakes—lots of convenience foods, really, she thought. Busy household. Working mother, probably. Poor woman—

‘Anna?’

She looked up, startled, and found Adam looking at her curiously.

‘Hi,’ she said weakly.

‘Hi. Thought it was you. Is there something wrong with my trolley?’

‘Your—No, of course not! I didn’t know it was yours. I was looking in it for inspiration, actually.’

He gave a wry snort of laughter. ‘I should give it a miss, in that case. I buy what the kids will eat, which sometimes seems like utter rubbish. It’s the au pair’s job, of course, but she’s having the evening off, so it’s down to me to buy the junk food today.’

‘It doesn’t look too bad. At least you’re going for the low-fat options.’

‘Ever the conscientious father,’ he said with a fleeting smile. ‘Which reminds me, they’re running riot in the next aisle. I must go.’

She watched him disappear round the end of the aisle and, because she was only human and curiosity was part of human nature, she found herself drifting after him. They’d vanished, but she soon found them.

He was lifting a little boy off the top of the bread display unit, smiling apologetically at a disapproving member of staff and throwing a packet into the trolley with one hand while he clamped the protesting child to his side with the other.

‘No, if you can’t behave then you’ll have to stay here with me where I can keep an eye on you.’

‘I’ll look after him,’ a little girl promised, and Adam put the boy down. ‘Stay right next to me,’ she told him sternly, and he nodded and slipped his hand into hers.

Big sister, Anna thought with a gentle smile.

‘Daddy, can we have supper here, please?’

The middle one, Anna thought, looking at the little face shining up at him with obvious devotion. What a lovely family. A huge lump formed in her throat, and she was just about to slide round the corner of the aisle and find a little privacy to get herself under control when Adam turned and saw her.

‘Um—yes, sure,’ he said distractedly, and smiled at her. She wondered if he knew he’d just been conned, and had to hide her own smile of amusement behind a smile of greeting. ‘My brood,’ he said, waving at them. ‘Skye, Danny, Jasper, this is Miss Long. I work with her.’

‘Anna,’ she corrected, and directed her smile to the children. ‘Hi. Are you making sure he buys all the right things?’

‘No, they’re making sure I buy all the wrong things,’ he said with a laugh.

‘We’re going to have supper here,’ Danny told her. ‘Do you ever do that?’

‘I have done,’ she said, willing Adam to ask her to join them. He didn’t need to. Danny did it.

‘You could have supper with us—couldn’t she, Daddy?’ He swivelled his head round, leaning over backwards and nearly toppling into the bread.

Adam reached out and steadied him, and gave Anna a helpless look. ‘If you’d like to—you’re more than welcome to join us, if you can stand it. It’ll probably be egg, beans and chips if they get their way.’

Thank you, God! ‘Egg, beans and chips sounds good,’ she said with a bright smile. ‘If you mean it.’

‘Of course I mean it,’ he said, his eyes softening. ‘You’re more than welcome. Are you all done?’

‘Yes,’ she lied. To hell with doing the shopping. She’d get the rest another time. This was much more interesting!

They went through the checkout, parked their trolleys and joined the queue, and Danny chatted ingenuously all the way through the selection procedure and most of the way through the meal. He was a sweet, open child with spiky, untidy hair the same dark brown as his father’s, and a direct blue gaze that cut straight to her heart.

Jasper was similar—smaller and quieter, or perhaps simply overwhelmed by his big brother, hanging on his sister’s every word.

And Skye—Skye was different. She had soft, lustrous brown hair, not quite as dark as the others, and the same penetrating blue eyes, but there the similarities ended.

Her eyes were distrustful. That was the difference, Anna decided. Skye was guarded, she hardly spoke except to Jaz, and she was politely distant with Anna.

That was fine. She didn’t need the instant trust of every child in the world, but she sensed that Skye’s reticence hurt Adam, and for some reason she didn’t want to go into that hurt her, too.

There was only one awkward moment, when she wondered if she really ought to have been there. Skye looked at Adam and said softly, ‘Is Anna your girlfriend?’

He looked startled for a second, then shook his head. ‘No. We work together. She’s a nurse.’

Skye glanced at her consideringly, then went back to her meal without another word, leaving Anna thoughtful. It hadn’t sounded, from her tone of voice, as if a girlfriend was something Skye wanted Adam to have. Because she felt threatened? Because she was jealous? Or because he had a constant stream of them and Skye didn’t like it?

The table was crowded, and Anna was more than ever aware of Adam’s long legs tangling with hers every time he moved. Finally the children were finished, and he met her eyes over the litter of dirty plates and cups of fizzy drinks and smiled distractedly.

‘We have to get back. We’ve got frozen food in the trolley—or we did have. I expect it’s all thawed by now.’

She nodded, conscious of a silly little spurt of disappointment. Of course he had to go—Jasper was yawning, Skye was bored and uneasy, and they couldn’t possibly sit there all night. She conjured a bright smile. ‘Yes, you’d better get back. Thank you so much for asking me to join you. I enjoyed it.’

He gave a disbelieving snort of laughter. ‘You’re too polite. Come on, kids, on your pins, let’s make a move.’

She followed him out of the shop, looking like the Pied Piper with the children trailing behind him raggedly. Jasper kept wanting to look at things, and had to be dragged screaming past the little rocket ride just outside the door, with its coaxing invitation, ‘Come on, climb aboard and we’ll head for the skies!’

‘I want to have a go!’ Jasper sobbed, and Adam scooped him up into his arms and hugged him, walking resolutely away.

‘It’s too late. You can have a go next time. It’s too cold to hang about waiting, and we can’t do everything in one night.’

‘Don’t want to do everything! Want to go in the rocket!’

‘Jasper, Daddy said no,’ Skye told him firmly, and the screaming subsided to an unhappy sobbing. They paused at the edge of the car park, and Adam rolled his eyes at Anna in mock despair.

‘I’ll see you tomorrow,’ she said, and he nodded, hesitated a moment and then spoke as if on impulse.

‘You could come back for coffee—if you could stand the chaos of bedtime and a house that needs cleaning and decorating from attic to cellar.’

A slow smile spread over her face. She could stand anything if it meant spending time with him and his family and getting to know him better. ‘I should think I’ll cope with that,’ she said softly.

‘Follow me,’ he said.

Oh, yes, she thought. I’ll follow you. I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth if you ask me to. Just say the word.

Then she caught the look on Skye’s face, and wondered why the little girl was so unhappy about her presence. She needed to know more about the situation, and perhaps this was one way to find out.