Читать книгу Special Deliveries: Her Gift, His Baby: Secrets of a Career Girl / For the Baby's Sake / A Very Special Delivery - Carol Marinelli - Страница 17

THERE WERE DISADVANTAGES to being a consultant, as Ethan was finding out, because when he came back from his long-awaited days off, which had actually turned into more of an extended wake, half his colleagues were sulking because he’d been out of range and they’d been called in to work.

‘Penny’s sick?’ Ethan frowned when Lisa told him.

That Penny might be ill wasn’t the problem apparently, though it was the problem for Ethan. ‘We had a locum for two nights and Mr Dean came in, but he wasn’t too pleased.’ Lisa brought him up to speed.

‘But if she’s sick, she can’t help it,’ Ethan pointed out as a knot tightened in his stomach. ‘When did she ring in?’

‘Saturday morning.’ Lisa sighed. ‘At the beginning of a long weekend. It’s been a bit grim here, to say the least.’

But it wasn’t just Penny they were annoyed at.

‘Did you have a good break?’ Mr Dean gave a tight, mirthless smile as he walked past, but Ethan just rolled his eyes. He didn’t give a damn about things like that—he worked hard when he was here and was entitled to his days off. The only person Ethan was worried about now was Penny.

Except when he tried to call her, she didn’t pick up her phone.

‘How’s Penny?’ Ethan asked a worried-looking Jasmine when she arrived for her late shift.

Jasmine’s cheeks flushed and she just gave a brief shake of her head.

‘Did she lose it?’

Ethan grimaced when Jasmine gave a reluctant nod.

Ethan headed to his office and rang Kate and told her the little he knew.

‘Don’t call it it,’ Kate suggested.

‘I didn’t mean it like that.’

‘I know,’ Kate said. ‘Poor thing.’

‘I don’t know what to do.’ Ethan didn’t even know how he felt. He was gutted for Penny as he thought of all she had been through.

But there was guilt there as well.

‘I don’t know what you can do either,’ Kate admitted, because Carl had been as invested in the procedures as she had and had been right there beside her when on many occasions the news hadn’t been good. But though she utterly understood where her brother was coming from, he wasn’t going to react as Carl had.

‘Do I just not mention it? I mean …’

‘No,’ Kate said, but then halted. ‘I don’t know. You said she hadn’t told you she was pregnant?’

‘I can’t just ignore it,’ Ethan said. ‘She won’t pick up the phone.’

‘You really like her?’

‘Yes.’

‘Then I think you ought to go over there and just be ready.’

‘For what?’

‘For anything.’

Even as he rang the bell, Ethan had absolutely no idea if he was doing the right thing.

It just couldn’t go past without being noted.

That was all he knew.

She opened the door in her dressing gown, except it was undone and underneath she had on a short nightdress. Ethan hadn’t known many woman who wore silky nightdresses and matching dressing gowns, but this was Penny, he reminded himself, and even if she was a bit washed out, she still looked stunning.

‘I’m so sorry, Penny.’

She looked at him, all brown and healthy and brimming with energy from nearly a week off, and she felt drab and pale in comparison. ‘How do you know?’ Penny asked. ‘Did Jasmine say something?’

Ethan hadn’t even made it through the door and he’d already put his foot in it. ‘No,’ Ethan said. ‘I asked her when I heard you’d called in sick.’

‘She shouldn’t have said anything.’

‘She didn’t say a word,’ Ethan said. ‘I asked if you’d …’ He breathed out. ‘Penny, I knew before you went away that you were pregnant.’

‘How?’

How? Because she was buried so deep in his skull, he’d been on IVF sites and working out dates and watching her unseen, constantly tuned in to her, though she didn’t need to hear that. ‘I just knew,’ Ethan said. ‘Jasmine didn’t say a word.’

Penny opened the door further and let him in.

‘I didn’t know what to bring.’ He was very honest with his discomfort and it helped that he didn’t try to hide it. It helped that he had come too.

‘Wine would have been nice.’

‘I can go out and get some.’

‘I’ve got some open.’ Penny looked at him warily. ‘I’m not very good company.’

‘I’m not here for a party.’

‘Well, you won’t get one. I’m boring even me now in my quest for a baby, so I’d run for the beach now if I were you. I know it’s not your thing. I’ll be back to normal soon.’

‘Come here,’ he said, and he gave her a cuddle. She wriggled a bit as she had the first day he’d held her and then she gave in; it felt really nice to be held by him.

‘Do you want me to go out and get a bottle?’

‘No. I’m drinking alone. Well, not alone, I’ve got my cat.’

And an ugly cat it was too, Ethan thought as feline eyes narrowed in suspicion at a big male stomping through the room. He followed Penny to where she was retrieving her glass and bottle from her bedside table and hovered at the door.

‘I’m a cliché,’ Penny said. ‘I’ll be the mad aunt, if Jasmine ever lets me see them again.’ She closed her eyes. ‘I had a terrible argument with her when I found out. I’m a horrible sister.’

‘I’m sure you’re not.’

‘I am.’ Penny sniffed. ‘We’ve never been that close, but for the last few months we’ve both really tried, and now I’ve gone and ruined it. I told her that she had no idea how I felt.’

‘She doesn’t,’ Ethan said.

‘But she tries so hard to. It’s not her fault, I just …’ She was embarrassed to admit just how bad she’d been, but was too guilt ridden to gloss over it. ‘She gave me a cuddle and I could feel her stomach and I told her that, no, she didn’t know, but I said it more nastily than that.’ Worried blue eyes lifted to him and a dark blush spread on her cheeks. ‘It wasn’t just that she’s pregnant, though.’ She stopped. She certainly wasn’t about to share her shameful truth. ‘It doesn’t matter.’

‘Tell me.’

‘I can’t.’

‘You can.’

‘I really can’t.’

‘I hate that,’ Ethan said. ‘I hate it when people go, oh, it doesn’t matter, when clearly it does, and then they say they can’t tell you, and you know that it’s something relevant, except you’re not allowed to know.’

She actually smiled a little when she responded to him. ‘You’re not allowed.’

‘Fine.’ Ethan sulked.

‘If I told you and you ever said anything, I’d have to kill you.’

Ethan couldn’t help but smile but more than that they were sitting down on the sofa together and Penny was, Ethan realised, actually going to reveal. ‘When my mum was bought in in cardiac arrest, it was awful. I mean, just awful. Jasmine was on duty but I managed to keep it from her …’

‘While you worked on your mum?’

‘And I was upset. I mean, really upset.’

‘I would imagine so.’

‘And Jed gave me a cuddle, nothing more. What I didn’t know then was that Jasmine was seeing Jed. Confused?’

‘Not yet.’

‘But Jasmine saw us together, before she knew about Mum, I mean …’

‘And thought you two were together?’ Ethan checked, and Penny nodded. ‘And were you?’

‘Never.’

‘Not a little bit?’ Ethan checked.

‘Not a smudge,’ Penny confirmed. ‘But …’ She just couldn’t bring herself to say it.

‘You liked him?’

‘A bit.’ She was just this ball of guilt. ‘I wasn’t having dirty dreams or anything.’ She went red as she looked at Ethan, because she was having the rudest ones about him. ‘But, yes, I sort of liked him. I don’t remotely in that way now, I mean that, but at the time …’

‘It hurt to find out they were together.’

‘Yes,’ Penny admitted.

‘And now she’s got the baby.’

‘Two.’

‘Penny.’ Ethan was honest too. ‘Can I tell you something?’ He took her hands. ‘I think it’s completely normal to like someone, to fancy them. I like and fancy people all the time, it’s not an issue, even if the two of you …’

‘Nothing happened.’

‘Which makes things a whole lot easier. But …’ he didn’t really see the issue ‘… suppose,’ Ethan said, ‘just suppose Jasmine was single, and given all we’ve done is had one kiss, well, a bit more than that …’

And Penny felt the heat of breath in her nostrils, and it burnt a whole lot more than it had with Jed, except she couldn’t really tell him that when he was trying to prove a point about how inconsequential it was.

‘Okay, bad example.’ Ethan scrambled for other scenarios. ‘Suppose—’

‘I get your point.’ She did. In one fell swoop he’d made her realise just how teeny her feelings for her—unknown at the time—future brother-in-law had been. She thought of Jasmine walking alongside her on the beach, admitting how gorgeous Ethan was, and what a tiny deal it had been then.

‘You’ve done nothing wrong,’ Ethan said. ‘Are you not supposed to like anyone, just in case your sister might?’

‘I guess.’ Penny couldn’t believe how easily a simple conversation had dispersed the complicated into nothing. ‘I don’t want Jed, and I am pleased she’s pregnant.’ She looked at Ethan. ‘It was just all too much that day. Do you ever feel jealous that Kate has a family?’

‘No.’ He was honest. ‘I just can’t imagine ever being settled like that, just one person for the rest of your life. And …’ he gave a shrug ‘… I think we’ve found another phobia of mine.’ He took a deep breath; there was one thing he needed to know. ‘Will you try again?’

‘I don’t know,’ Penny said. ‘Probably. But they like you to wait a couple of months.’

‘You’re thirty-four, Penny,’ Ethan said.

‘Thirty-five,’ Penny said. ‘It’s my birthday.’

He didn’t know what to say.

And clearly neither did Jasmine, because the phone rang then and Penny took it into her bedroom. It was a very short, terse phone call and when it was over Penny looked up at him in the doorway, only this time he came in.

‘Do you ever fight with your sister?’ she asked as he sat with her on the bed and put his arm around her.

‘Not really,’ Ethan said.

‘With anyone?’

‘No.’ He gave her a smile. ‘You.’

But it wasn’t enough for Penny. She wanted him to have done something as terrible as she had, and so he thought for a moment, searched his brain for someone he’d had a huge stand-up row with, just to make her feel better.

‘With Phil.’

‘When?’ Penny frowned.

‘Last year. There was stuff that needed dealing with and Phil wasn’t dealing with it. And I told him so and pretty loudly too.’ Ethan gave her a nudge. ‘So if you feel bad, imagine having a shouting match with someone who has a heart like a balloon about to burst.’

‘But it didn’t.’

‘No, it didn’t. Well, not for another year.’ Ethan shook his head; he wasn’t going to go there.

‘You really loved him, didn’t you?’

‘Yep.’ Ethan nodded. ‘But I’m here about you.’

They were lying on the bed now, more two friends chatting than this being about anything sexual, even as the conversation turned to sex. ‘Have you ever thought about going about it the old-fashioned way?’ Ethan asked. ‘Meet someone, fall in love, live the fairy-tale.’

‘Been there, done that. Well, I thought it was love and we were frantically trying for a baby for a very long time.’

He’d been doing really well, Kate would have been proud of him, but he grimaced a bit then and she noticed.

‘What?’

‘Nothing.’ Ethan shrugged. He just didn’t like the image of her frantically trying with someone else.

‘I’m not very fertile—I’m sub-fertile. Isn’t that the most horrible word? It put a terrible strain on our relationship. It wasn’t just that, though, he was …’ She was about to say it didn’t matter, but Ethan hated it when she did that. ‘Vince was all for the modern working woman, or so he said, yet I was the one who was going to be the stay-home mum.’ Ethan looked at her. ‘I earned more than him, yet it was just assumed that I’d be the one to stop work.’ She saw him frown. ‘What?’ Penny asked again.

‘Why, if you’re doing all you can to have a baby, would you want to work?’

‘I love my work, I’d go crazy without it, but I would certainly slow things down. It wasn’t just that, though, there were other things.’

‘Like what?’

‘Like I was starting to resent that it was always me stopping at the supermarket on the way home from work and getting dinner. Aside from the fact that I can’t have babies, I don’t think I’d make a very good wife.’

‘What’s for dinner, Penny?’

He made her smile.

‘What about you?’

‘I have no idea,’ he said, and turned and smiled at her now-frowning face on the pillow beside him. ‘I’ve never had my fertility checked.’

‘You think you’re funny, don’t you?’

‘I know I am,’ Ethan said, ‘because you’re trying really hard not to smile.’

‘I meant, have you been in a serious relationship?’

‘Apparently,’ Ethan said. ‘Though I didn’t know it at the time.’ He sighed at the memory. ‘I thought it was great, she wanted to move in …’

‘Oh.’

‘Or look for somewhere to live, or get engaged and then married and make lots of babies one day.’

‘What was her name?’

‘Caitlin. I led her on apparently, but I didn’t know that I was, I just thought we were having a good time. I didn’t realise it had to be leading somewhere—so now I make things a little more clear from the start.’ He waited, his eyes checking that he had.

‘I get it, Ethan.’ She gave him a smile and then she told him. ‘Jasmine said I should have a wild fling with you before I got pregnant.’

‘I’m that much of a sure thing, am I?’

‘Apparently,’ Penny said. ‘She thought I should forget about making babies and just enjoy myself for once.’

‘Have you ever had sex for the sake of it?’ He screwed up his face. ‘I mean, how long since you’ve had sex without trying for a baby?’

‘A very long time.’ She looked at him. ‘There was one time that I would have, but he declined.’

‘Well, maybe he was just being all male and territorial and couldn’t quite get his head around …’ He screwed up his face again, tried to spare the details. ‘You know in a few days’ time you …’

‘Might have been pregnant?’

‘No, not just that.’

Penny frowned and then got it. ‘With someone else’s baby!’ She actually laughed. ‘You are a caveman!’

‘Nope, just a normal man.’ Ethan grinned, glad to see her smile. ‘And the only one I want you frantically describing is me.’

And he was getting his words wrong, because he meant that he didn’t want to sit here and listen about her ex and her in bed, or did he mean that he wanted to give her something to frantically describe?

That wasn’t what he’d come here for.

‘I’m going to go.’

He pulled up on his elbow and gave her a kiss, though it was a bit pointless to pretend it was a friendly one, given what they’d been like, and that they were lying on the bed, but Ethan did kiss her with no intention other than to say goodbye.

Except he’d forgotten just how much he liked kissing her till he was back there, and Penny was remembering all over again too. It was so nice to be lying down being kissed by him, nicer too when a little while later his hands crept to her breasts that clearly didn’t disappoint because she could feel him harden against her thigh as he stroked.

Only this time he did what he had wanted to that time, his mouth moving down, slipping down the fabric and licking around the areola and then taking her in his mouth.

She was on her back, his expert mouth suckling her hard, and Penny was gasping, wanting to turn to get to him, to explore him too, but loath to end the bliss of his mouth.

He turned her to him, gave her other breast the same attention. Ethan, who loved breasts, actually loved that she hardly had any. Penny was grappling to pull out his top, desperate to feel his skin as his mouth sucking her breast drove her to higher pleasures.

But Ethan moved her hands away, his intention to take his time, but as his hand slid down the jut of her hips, her nightdress had ridden up and he found his hand cupping her bare bottom. ‘Hell, Penny,’ he moaned, ‘have you been walking around all this time with no knickers on?’ He blew out a breath, remembered then the reason he was there, and when Kate had said to be ready for anything, he was quite sure she hadn’t meant that. ‘Sorry.’

‘For what?’

‘Taking things too far.’

‘You’ve never taken things too far,’ Penny said. ‘You haven’t taken things far enough.’

They were at each other again, a knot of arms and legs and deep kisses, her hands going to his buckle, but he halted her.

‘Penny.’ He took her face in his hands and he wrestled with indecision, not sure if it was Hot Mess Penny he was talking to, whom he completely adored and could deal with, or Baby Making Mode Penny, who terrified him, and she got that much.

‘I’m not asking you to get me pregnant.’

‘Isn’t it too soon?’ Ethan checked.

‘Nope.’ And she thought of sex for the sake of it, and how lovely he had been and how badly she wanted the rest of that chocolate bar out of the fridge now. And so too did Ethan. They were back to kissing, only pausing to strip the other off and pray for condoms in his wallet, which, hurrah, there were.

She buried her head in his chest and smelt and felt close-up and naked Ethan. He was stunning, muscled but not too much with a smooth tanned chest and flat brown nipples that shifted from view as his mouth slid down again, only this time not to her breasts. He licked down to her stomach and he did what he had wanted to do that first day he had given her her injection, and he kissed her till she was writhing.

Penny had felt like a pincushion these past weeks, a failed baby-making machine at times, but his mouth was slowly turning her back into a woman as he lingered at each step. Penny closed her eyes in bliss as his mouth moved lower still and with each measured stroke she lost a little more control but gained mounting pleasure. Her hands pulled tight on his hair as Ethan revelled in the taste of her. The scent that had been alluring him for weeks was now his to savour and he carried on kissing her deeply there as she throbbed to his mouth and he returned her to herself. A new self.

‘Ethan.’ Penny lay catching her breath, went to say something, she didn’t know what. She wanted to sit up and face him, wanted to go down on him. It took a moment to realise it wasn’t her decision to make. He was over her, sheathed and poised at her entrance.

‘Love-thirty,’ he said, sexy and smiling and not a moment too soon for Penny, through with being patient.

She moaned as he filled her. Ethan folded his arms behind her head so that her face was right up to him, and she had forgotten how lovely sex could be. Or rather, Penny amended as he moved deep inside her, she’d never really known just how lovely sex could be. Then, as Ethan shifted tempo she made one final amendment before she lost rational thought. She’d never known sex could be so hot.

She didn’t get poor-Penny sex; she got the full bull in Ethan. A surprise birthday present that had her as wild as him. One of his arms moved down to her hips and he practically lifted her off the bed each time he thrust into her. Had Penny ever had any doubt as to all those times she’d thought him aroused, they were gone, because every missed opportunity, every subdued thought Ethan had had seemed to be being banished now over and over deep in her centre.

His want, his desire, the absence of tentativeness had Penny flooded in warmth, her legs wrapping around him, her skin scalding, grinding into him as she tipped into climax.

‘Penny …’ Ethan was trying to hold on, but feeling her shatter, feeling her jolt as if she’d been stunned, by the time he felt her strong, rapid clenches Ethan was on the way to meeting them.

Almost dizzy, he collapsed on top of her and then moved to the side, pulling her with him, more than a bit bewildered about what had happened, because Ethan loved sex but had never had sex like that, and while going down on her his intention had been to be gentle.

‘Did we land on the beach?’ Ethan asked.

‘I’m not sure,’ Penny admitted. ‘I can’t actually see.’ She felt a gurgle of laughter swirl inside her, only it wasn’t laughter, she realised, just this glimpse of being free. ‘And it’s actually thirty-fifteen now,’ Penny said. ‘You forfeited the last game if I remember rightly.’

He’d had no idea what to expect when he’d arrived tonight at her door, but felt as if, in that small conversation, he’d met the real Penny, the one that he’d sometimes glimpsed. Or was it more that it was a different him? Usually Ethan was snoring his head off right about now, but instead it was Penny dozing as he went and dimmed the lights before climbing into bed beside her.

‘Happy birthday, Penny.’

And as she lay there, feeling his big body beside her, she thought that it really shouldn’t have been a happy birthday; it had had every ingredient for it not to be, except it had just turned into her most memorable, possibly favourite one.

‘Thank you,’ Penny said, and then turned over to him. ‘You were right—it wasn’t the drugs.’