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IT ACTUALLY WASN’T awkward when Nina saw Jack at work.

She was too busy.

She was allocated several new families and as the days passed her paperwork piled up, but there was always somewhere else she needed to be.

‘How are you doing?’ She smiled at Tommy, who was looking so much better than he had on admission. The oncology nurse Gina was adding something to his IV and smiled at Nina. The medication had, for now, stopped the seizures and there was some colour in his cheeks, though it wouldn’t be for long. Tommy was starting chemotherapy on Monday and from what she had heard it was going to be especially gruelling.

‘Good,’ Tommy said, and then introduced her to the woman sitting by his bed. ‘This is my aunt, she’s staying for the weekend.’

‘I’m Kelly.’ Tommy’s aunt smiled. ‘I’ll be coming back as often as I can. Mike’s got a job interview today, but he’s coming in this afternoon.’

‘That’s good.’

It was awful.

Nina couldn’t believe how hard it was for this family, couldn’t fathom having to look for a job when your child was so sick. She was trying to arrange some accommodation for Mike nearer the hospital for the times Tommy would be here during his treatments, but there was only so much she could do and as she said her goodbyes and walked off, Gina voiced what she was thinking.

‘Cruel, isn’t it?’

Nina nodded. ‘I’m going to look into it all again—see if there is anything more the department can do.’

‘The poor man’s trying to be in five different places at once, and the only place he wants to be is here with his son.’ Gina sighed and when Nina got back to her office she sat with her head in her hands for a moment, because she’d added mandatory counselling to the list of places where Mike needed to be.

And again she questioned herself.

Still, she couldn’t dwell on it for too long as she needed to add an urgent addendum to her report for court the next day.

Jack had rung a few times but she’d kept it short, had told him she was snowed under with work, had done everything to not give in to the urge to repeat things with him.

Yes, she had enough to contend with and it wasn’t going to get easier any time soon, Nina thought as an angry Janey landed in her office at four p.m., after school, sulking, angry and confused about why Nina now had the three-bedroomed apartment but they still hadn’t moved in with her.

‘I’ve applied to be guardian for both you and Blake and the department has to come and inspect the flat and check everything thoroughly.’

‘Yeah, well, I don’t believe you,’ Janey shouted when Nina told her that she’d put the application in as soon as she’d secured the apartment. ‘If you really wanted us, you’d have had us living with you years ago.’

Janey used words like knives and hurled them at Nina regularly, but though Nina had learnt to deflect most of them, these were the ones that hurt the most, because it killed her that she hadn’t been able to keep her family together.

‘It’s not that straightforward, Janey.’ Nina did her best to stay calm. ‘And it’s not fair to Barbara either, for me to just—’

‘Barbara’s a cow!’ Janey huffed.

‘I don’t like you speaking like that.’

‘Well, she is.’

Nina gritted her teeth and not for the first time questioned if she was up to the job of dealing with such an angry teenager. Of course, professionally she was but, as she often said to tearful parents who sat in this office and asked how she handled things so well, she got a break from it, got to go home at the end of each day. If things went well, in a few weeks she could be fully responsible for Janey, and what scared Nina the most was that if she wasn’t up to the job, Janey’s bad behaviour would escalate.

‘Things are moving forward,’ Nina said. ‘I know it seems to be taking ages but I haven’t been in the apartment long. Why don’t we go and get something to eat and I’ll show the photos I’ve taken? I’ve got all the furniture now for your room.’

‘I thought you were working.’

‘I’m going to be working till late,’ Nina said, ‘so I can take a break now.’

They took the lift and there were several choices where they could eat—there were a few cafés in the hospital so that parents could come and share a meal with their child if they were able to, or to spend some time away from the bedside with siblings and such. The whole hospital was geared to being not just child friendly but family friendly, but Nina was starting to feel as if her dream of her family being together was fading before it even had a chance to take off. Maybe they’d do better just walking.

‘What do you want to eat?’

She was met with Janey’s shrug.

They settled for the coffee bar and took a seat at the back where it was a quiet enough to talk. Nina bought Janey her favourite muffin and frappe and herself a regular coffee, deciding she wasn’t hungry yet and would get something to eat later.

‘Here.’

Should it annoy her that Janey didn’t bother to say thank you? Should she let the small things go?

No.

She thought of their parents, how they’d insisted on good manners, but if she said anything, Janey would simply get up and walk out, and not wanting to risk that she let it go.

‘I am doing my best.’

‘Whatever.’

‘I’ve got Blake this weekend,’ Nina said. ‘Why don’t you come?’

Janey didn’t answer. Nina quietly thought that Janey might very well be jealous of the more structured access Nina had with Blake, but that was because of his age and the distance he lived from Nina, which made shorter visits impossible. With Janey it was mainly holidays and the occasional sleepover, especially as Janey’s weekends were taken up with sport activities.

‘I could take you to netball.’

‘I’m not doing netball any more.’

‘How come?’ Nina asked. ‘You loved it, Blake and I were going to come and watch.’

‘Yeah, well, don’t bother. I got dropped.’

‘How come?’ Nina pushed. ‘You were doing really well.’

‘Till I swore at the umpire.’ Janey was peeling apart her muffin, not looking at Nina as she spoke. ‘And Barbara says that if I’m going to carry on like that then I can spend the weekend sorting out the basement.’ She looked up at Nina. ‘I guess if you ring her, though, she might let me come …’

‘No.’ Nina did her best not to be manipulated. Barbara was doing the hard yards, dealing with Janey, and Nina simply refused to interfere in the groundings and early bedtimes Barbara was trying to rein Janey in with. ‘Barbara’s right not to just let it go. Janey, you loved your netball. What were you doing, swearing at the umpire?’

‘She was a stupid cow.’

‘Everyone’s a cow to you …’ Nina tried to hold onto her temper, tried not to upset Janey, but it was impossible. She had no real authority with her sister. Janey pulled all the strings and she started pulling them now.

‘Yeah, well, you’re the biggest cow.’ Janey stood. ‘I’m stuck cleaning out a basement all weekend while you’re busy spoiling Blake. Thanks a lot, sis …’

And she stormed out of the café and straight past Jack, not that she noticed him.

Jack noticed her, though.

He moved out of the way as a fast-moving, angry teenager stormed past and he looked into the café and saw Nina resting her head on her hands. He wanted to go over to see if she was okay but he’d just been called for a consult in ICU so he’d make time for Nina later.

And he would.

Jack was determined now, because he could not, could not, stop thinking about her.

It was an absolute first for him.

Jack’s days were too busy to spend time dwelling on one woman, but he woke up thinking of Nina, spent the day with her sort of present in his mind. And the evenings were impossible, because she was always busy and sometimes she didn’t even return his phone calls.

Another first.

So when he rang at seven that night only to find out that she was working late and didn’t have time to stop, like some idiot he found himself walking through a dark social work department to the light from under her office door with a bottle of sparking water and some take-out.

‘Jack, I really can’t stop.’

‘You can’t eat?’

He had a good point. That coffee with Janey had been a long time ago, but it wasn’t just the timing that was the problem. She was used to Jack looking completely gorgeous and groomed at all times, but she was slightly disarmed at the sight of him in scrubs—he was displaying rather more skin than she could deal with and say no to, so she kept her voice matter-of-fact as she declined him.

‘I can eat, but I have to work. I’m due in court in the morning and I have to finish this report …’

‘You haven’t got five minutes?’

And she remembered her own manners, or she got the delicious waft of food, or it could have been that Jack was someone she found it incredibly hard to say no to, but she gave him a smile and gave in. ‘Thank you.’

‘How was your day?’

‘Busy,’ Nina said. ‘How was yours?’

‘Full on …’ He chatted as he served up their meals. ‘I’ve spent most of it up in ICU. There’s a little one giving the paed team a headache. Still, we’ve got her stable now and a plan for tomorrow.’

‘Sounds good.’ It didn’t annoy her any more that he never really used patients’ names.

‘And there’s been progress in other areas,’ Jack continued. ‘We got the go-ahead on the supervised waiting room.’

‘That’s going to be so well utilised.’ Nina took a forkful of noodles and they were utterly delicious. ‘I can’t think of the times I’ve wanted to speak to a parent away from the family, to be able to have the children looked after, even for a little while …’

‘It was the one thing the ER nurses really wanted, so it will be good to get it off the ground. So, what have you been up to?’

‘Just work,’ Nina said.

‘How are your brother and sister?’

‘Pretty much the same.’

She was nothing like anyone he’d ever dated. Usually it was the woman trying to get Jack to open up or to tease out information from him. He knew full well that Janey had upset her today and yet Nina simply wouldn’t share it, and it infuriated him as he swallowed a taste of his own medicine.

They chatted some more about work and Nina finished her food and thanked him for stopping by, but Jack didn’t move from the chair he was sitting on.

‘Jack, I really need to work.’

‘I won’t interrupt.’

He sat quietly as she typed and Jack drank sparkling water till his patience waned.

‘What’s the report about?’ Jack asked.

‘It’s not one of your patients.’

Still he sat there.

Still she worked.

‘Tell you what.’

Nina rolled her eyes as Jack interrupted her again.

‘Why don’t you come back to my place when you’re finished?’

‘Because I have to go home. I need to wear a suit for court in the morning.’

And he really wanted to see her in a suit! ‘Tell you what, give me your keys and I’ll go back to your place …’

‘Excuse me?’ She had no idea the concession he was making, how he never went to a woman’s place. Jack liked to be at his own home, never wanted to be too far into anyone’s life. ‘Like I’m going to give someone I hardly know the keys to my apartment.’

‘Hardly know?’

‘Jack.’ She gave up typing and stood, cleared up the noodle boxes and threw them in the bin. ‘I’m going to be here till midnight at least—one a.m. at this rate.’ She walked over to him, looked down at him and it was as if he made her feel reckless. She couldn’t tell him that she adored the distraction, that right now all she wanted was bed and him, but she could not, must not give her heart over to him.

‘I really need to work.’

‘And I think you deserve a break.’ He pulled her onto his lap and they both knew where that had led last time and again he kissed her.

His kiss remained potent and brought her straight back to the places they’d once been. He was unshaven tonight and she felt the scratch on her face and pulled back just a little. ‘I need my face for court …’

‘Let me kiss you somewhere else, then.’

He was funny and dark and sexy and she had already proved they could work together, that there would be no awkwardness between them whatever went on in the bedroom, but she was not going to love him—all this her eyes told him as she sat there.

‘Nina, I know you don’t want to hear this, but I want you in a way I have never wanted anyone else …’

‘Have me, then.’ She wriggled from his lap and he watched her head lower as she bent and removed her boots and her stockings.

‘I meant—’ Jack’s voice was rising ‘—I want more of you, I want to go out, to do stuff …’

‘Jack.’ She stood there, bare-legged, bare-bottomed beneath her dress, but she would not bare her heart to him. ‘What is it you want? Do you get a kick out of really making someone fall for you, make sure that they’re really head over heels and then the second they’re yours you dump them?’

Actually, yes, Jack thought, but decided it was better not to voice it.

Because it was different this time.

‘This is different.’ He settled for that.

‘Yes, it is,’ Nina said. ‘You don’t have to pretend this is going somewhere—neither of us do.’

‘I didn’t just come here for sex!’

‘Oh, so you didn’t bring condoms …’ Nina smirked when he didn’t reply. ‘Not to worry!’ She stood over him and kissed him again and his hands held her hips and then slid down to the hem and up her bare legs.

How could this not be enough? Jack reasoned. She matched him sexually and for the first time there was a woman not asking him to change, or where this was leading.

She dropped to her knees then pulled down his scrubs. Her head moved down with the intention to get him out of her office in the space of two minutes and Jack was actually offended. He had never turned down a blow job, had never thought he would, but as he pulled up her head and kissed her, he was, in fact, thoroughly offended.

This was different, his mouth insisted as he wrestled her to the floor.

This was so different, because his mouth was all over her and she was fighting him again. Not the sex, not the attraction, not the passion—she was trying to pretend it was just sex they were having as he was wrestling for her heart.

And she would not give it.

She kissed him back and when he reached into his scrubs for his wallet, again she smirked.

‘Told you!’

‘Damn it, Nina.’ He was getting cross and with women he never did. He just moved happily on when things got too much.

‘Shall I help you?’

He pushed her hand off.

He wasn’t just angry, he was jealous, but that didn’t quite fit, but her sexuality, her detachment, her oh, a quick orgasm will do, so let’s get it over with was really starting to get to him.

He prised open her legs with his knees and still she kissed him as he stabbed inside her, and she would not give in to him. It was the strangest of fights and as she lay there beneath him he stopped kissing her and lifted onto his elbows and just watched her face. And she decided that she would just give a little bit …

‘You’re coming out with me.’

‘I don’t think so.’

‘Yeah,’ he said, ‘you are. I’m taking you away this weekend …’ he was moving inside her ‘… and we’re—’

‘We can’t.’

‘We are.’

‘I’ve got Blake.’

God, at every turn she blocked him.

‘Sunday night.’ Still he moved deep within her.

‘I’m busy.’

‘I want more of you, Nina.’ He was moving too slowly and she wanted him rapid, wanted him near the end, because any more of this and she’d be crying. Any more of this and she’d be sobbing his name and begging for every piece of him.

So she writhed and moaned and said, ‘I’m coming …’ And she lay there faking it just to finish him.

‘Liar.’

He pushed in slower, harder and watched as the tears sprang in her eyes and the colour mounted on her face, as her hips started to lift. ‘Please stop.’ They both knew she wasn’t talking about the sex.

‘I want you, Nina.’

‘You’ve got me.’

‘I want more of you,’ he insisted, and now he moved faster.

And she gave in to her body then, her legs wrapping around him, her arms pulling him in and her mouth claiming his now because if she didn’t kiss him hard then she’d tell him she was crazy for him, that she wanted every second of this man. She captured his mouth so he would silence her and then he just exploded.

He moved so fast she couldn’t breathe and his moan when he came had her shouting his name when she should not have. It was Jack finishing just as she started and he relished every pulse till she faded.

And afterwards he looked down at her, looked right into her eyes, that smile on his face that said I told you so and the crush she’d had on him since first they’d met was at dangerous levels now.

Nina didn’t really trust anyone and only a fool would trust Jack Carter with their heart and Nina certainly wasn’t a fool—she’d seen and experienced far too much of life.

He was dizzy when he climbed off and lay there for a minute. It was Nina who had a very clear head.

She was not going to let him know how she felt about him; she looked over to where he lay with his eyes closed and decided that she’d save that piece for herself, because he was going to hurt her.

She knew it.

In two days or two weeks he would be out of here, and the only way she could carry on working alongside him was if he didn’t know he had her heart. There was a very small part of her that pondered, that allowed herself to think, what if? Except it wasn’t just about the two of them—Nina came with rather more baggage than most.

‘Thank you for a lovely break.’ She smiled at him and kissed him. ‘And now I really do have to work …’

She really did.

But Nina stopped for a cry a little bit later, because more than anything in the world she wanted her brother and sister, but she’d have also liked a little time to herself, to have said yes to Jack and be going away for a weekend, to just warm herself in the full spotlight of being Jack Carter’s lover.

For however long it might last.