Читать книгу Hot Single Docs: Waiting For You: St Piran's: Prince on the Children's Ward - Carol Marinelli, Carol Marinelli - Страница 13
ОглавлениеTASHA sat on the bed, her knees drawn up against her chest like a child protecting herself. Her heart was pounding with reaction to the adrenaline surging around her body. The doctor in her recognised the physiological process.
Fight or flight.
The kiss licked like fire through her body, as if that one single touch had set in motion something that couldn’t be stopped. She rubbed her hands down her legs, trying to kill the sensations that engulfed her. Why had she let him do that? Why?
It wasn’t as if she was short on self-discipline. She could say no to chocolate, she’d never been drunk in her life and she’d worked relentlessly to achieve the highest grades possible in her exams. So why couldn’t she apply that same single-minded focus to staying detached from Alessandro?
Furious with herself, Tasha thumped her fist on the mattress.
There was something about him that just drew her in. She felt out of her control and that part of it infuriated her more than anything.
Impulse was her greatest fault, she thought savagely. She was a scientist, wasn’t she? Impulse shouldn’t be part of her make-up, and yet she couldn’t seem to stop herself acting on her instincts. First she’d resigned from a job she loved and now she was getting herself involved with the last man in the world any woman in her right mind would get involved with.
So what was she supposed to do next?
She couldn’t carry on nursing him, could she? She didn’t trust herself.
She was going to have to leave.
She was going to have to make some excuse and—
The door slammed open with a violence that sent it crashing into the wall. Alessandro stood there, his eyes dark as a storm, one hand against the doorframe to balance himself. ‘What the hell is going on, Tash? If you feel like that, why did you agree to help me?’
‘Get out!’ She wasn’t ready to face him. Didn’t trust herself to keep him at a distance.
‘I’m not going anywhere. Not until we’ve had an honest conversation.’
‘Honest? What do you know about honest?’ It was a struggle to keep her voice even. ‘One minute you—you—make a woman feel as though she’s the only female alive in the world and then the next minute you—’
‘The next minute I...?’
‘Just forget it. I don’t know why we’re even talking about this. I don’t want to talk about this.’
‘We’re talking about it because it’s obviously on your mind. And it seems to have been on your mind for a long time.’ He hobbled into the room, his jaw clenched against the pain, his muscles pumped up and hard. ‘That first day in the hospital, I asked you if the past was going to be a problem and you said—’
‘I know what I said.’ Her voice rose. ‘I don’t need you to repeat it.’
His gaze was steady on hers. ‘If you hate me that much, why did you agree to help me?’
‘I don’t hate you. I don’t have any feelings for you whatsoever.’ She threw out the words, knowing them to be untrue. But she badly wanted them to be true. She badly wanted to have no feelings for him. In fact, it was essential for her emotional well-being that she had no feelings for him.
‘Which brings me back to the same question—why did you agree to help me?’
‘Because I’d messed up my job and I was at a loose end. Because I wanted to prove that you didn’t mean anything to me any more, and...’ she breathed deeply ‘...I wanted to see if you were sorry.’
He looked at her for a long moment and then his eyes narrowed and he gave a humourless laugh. ‘Ah. Now I understand. You thought you’d punish me, is that it? The strip show was for my benefit. All the “look at me” surfing sessions were designed to make me suffer. All of it was designed to make me suffer. What we shared wasn’t water under the bridge. You weren’t indifferent. You were getting revenge.’
‘It wasn’t revenge.’ Tasha felt her face grow scarlet as she defended herself. ‘I wanted to prove to myself that you were nothing more than a childish crush. The way I felt about you back then was— Actually, I don’t even want to think about it. It’s just too embarrassing. And, yes, I was angry with you. You behaved like a complete and utter bastard.’
‘I know.’
‘And then you—’ His words penetrated her brain and she broke off and stared at him. ‘What did you say?’
‘I said I know. I know I treated you horribly.’
‘Y-You do?’ Stunned by his blunt admission, she stared at him. ‘You knew that?’
‘Of course. That’s why I was so surprised when you waltzed blithely into my hospital room and offered to help me out. Frankly, I was expecting a black eye from you, not assistance.’ He watched her cautiously. ‘Clearly I was right to be suspicious of your motives.’
‘But—’ Anger shot through her. ‘If you knew you’d behaved horribly, why didn’t you ever say anything? You could at least have said sorry.’
‘That would have defeated the purpose.’
‘The purpose?’ Tasha stared at him blankly. ‘I don’t get it.’
‘The purpose was to make you hate me,’ he said gently. ‘If I’d apologised, it wouldn’t have worked, would it?’
‘You—you wanted me to hate you? Why?’
He gave a crooked smile. ‘Because every time I walked into a room you looked at me as though I was the only person there. Because you thought you were in love with me. You were crazy about me, and—’
‘All right, all right.’ She held up her hand like a stop sign. ‘Can this get any more embarrassing? Enough! I know exactly how I behaved. There’s no need to rub it in.’
‘I was going to say, “and I was crazy about you”.’ He spoke the words so softly she wondered if she’d misheard.
‘You—’
‘I’d never been with anyone who behaved as normally around me as you did.’
‘I hero-worshiped you.’
‘I know, and that was sweet, but the best part was that you were such fun. You were so unselfconscious. The first time I visited you kept trying to remember to call me Your Highness and then you just gave up and called me Sandro, and you were the first person who had ever done that. And you were so beautiful...’ He shifted position awkwardly, unconsciously trying to ease the pain. ‘Too beautiful. Josh introduced you as his kid sister but it didn’t take me long to realise you weren’t a kid. Especially when you wore those bikinis.’
Tasha watched him, her heart thumping. ‘I wanted you to notice me.’
The corners of his mouth flickered. ‘I noticed you.’
‘And then there was the ballgown.’
‘I wondered when we were going to talk about that. That night at the ball—’ his eyes glittered ‘—I couldn’t believe Josh had agreed to take you. The only way I’d kept my distance was because I kept telling myself you were a kid. And Josh kept telling me you were a kid. And then suddenly you were standing there in this scarlet dress that made you look like a sex goddess—’
‘You remember what I was wearing?’
‘And suddenly telling myself that you were a kid didn’t seem to be working.’ His eyes were very dark. ‘It didn’t help that you were so wildly determined to lose your virginity that night. To me.’
Mortified at the memory of how brazen she’d been, Tasha covered her face with her hands. ‘Do we have to talk about this? Isn’t there just a nice deep hole I can jump into?’
‘I wanted you, too.’
‘Oh, sure.’ Still cringing, she shook her head. ‘Which is why you kissed me senseless and...’ He’d touched her, she remembered. Everywhere. The memory sent fiery heat streaking through her. ‘And then you walked away.’
‘And why do you think I walked away, Tash?’
His intimate use of her name made her heart thud. ‘Because you discovered I was flat-chested? Because I had no idea what I was doing?’ His skill had left her trembling and boneless whereas she’d fumbled awkwardly, unsure of herself and of him.
‘I stopped because it was the right thing to do, and that is probably the only time in my life I’ve done the right thing, so you should be grateful, not angry,’ he confessed in a raw tone. ‘I didn’t know if you were a child or a woman. Damn it, I went into your bedroom to give you a message one day and your bed was covered in stuffed toys! One minute you were doing your homework, the next you were wearing a tight red dress designed to drive a man out of his mind. I wanted—well, never mind what I wanted. But I knew I had to do something drastic. That night of the ball I’d promised myself I was going to behave like a real prince. I was going to dance with you and not do anything else. But then we went out to the garden to get some fresh air and the next minute—’
‘You don’t need to spell it out.’
‘Believe me, walking away without looking back was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry I hurt you, but at the time I couldn’t see any other way. I wanted you to hate me.’
‘You could have just told me you weren’t interested.’
‘I was interested. There was a chemistry between us I’d never experienced before. It was crazy, and—’ He broke off. ‘You were seventeen. Apart from anything else, it was barely legal.’
A warm glow burned low in her stomach. He’d wanted her, too. Tasha wrapped her arms around herself. ‘Plenty of people have sex at seventeen.’
‘You had your head in the clouds and your eyes on the stars. You were still more of a child than a woman and I had no idea how to handle someone like you. The women I mixed with were usually my age or older—heiresses, society princesses who’d been fed cynicism and experience with baby milk. You were different.’
‘And it didn’t occur to you to have that conversation with me?’ Tasha swung her legs off the bed and stalked over to him, her eyes boring into his. ‘I had a brain, Sandro. And a mind of my own.’
‘I did the decent thing.’
‘Decent? You broke my heart, Sandro. You...’ She spread her hands, appalled. ‘What the hell is decent about making a girl feel totally rubbish about herself? Please tell me that.’
‘I didn’t make you feel rubbish. I saved you from making a big mistake.’
‘Saved me? Do you think you could have “saved” me before you ripped off my red dress?’ Her face was scarlet at the memory. The humiliation. ‘Then when I was totally vulnerable and ready to trust you with anything and everything, you suddenly backed away and told me to come back when I’d grown a chest. But that wasn’t the worst of it. The worst of it wasn’t struggling to get my ballgown back on so that a bunch of strangers didn’t see me naked—and you broke the zip, by the way, so I never actually managed to get it back on—the worst was when you walked away from me straight into the arms of a tall, skinny blonde. When you kissed her I thought I was going to die.’ It was good to remind herself what had happened, she thought grimly. Good to remind herself why she wasn’t going to be seduced by the chemistry again.
‘Tasha—’
‘You knew I was watching, didn’t you? At the time I assumed you didn’t know I was still there, but now I see you did it for my benefit. You wanted me to see you kiss her.’
There was a stillness about him. A hardness about his eyes that she hadn’t seen before. ‘I’ve told you—I wanted you to hate me and forget about me. You were a kid.’
‘Did I feel like a kid when you stripped me naked?’
‘What do you think would have happened if I’d taken you that night?’ His tone savage, he took her chin in his fingers and lifted her face to his. ‘Think.’
‘We would have made love,’ she whispered. ‘You would have been the first.’
His fingers tightened on her face. For a moment they stared at each other, sharing the memories through that single look. ‘I would have broken your heart.’
The air dragged through her lungs and each beat of her heart felt painful. ‘You did that anyway. But I should be grateful. Because of you I buried myself in my books. I gave up on men.’
‘That’s not what I heard.’ His eyes were fixed on hers, his breathing heavy. ‘Josh told me you were engaged once—’
Great. More humiliation. ‘That didn’t work out.’ Trying not to think about the fact he’d obviously discussed her with Josh, Tasha pulled away from him. ‘I’m not great with relationships. I’m the first to admit it.’
‘That makes two of us.’
‘You have endless relationships. I read about them all the time in the paper.’
‘Those aren’t relationships.’
‘Right.’
‘For what it’s worth, I’m sorry I hurt you, Tash. I should have handled it a different way.’ He adjusted his balance. ‘Forgive me?’
‘No! I don’t forgive you.’
He was standing close to her. ’There’s always been something between us and it hasn’t gone away.’
‘I’m older and wiser now.’
‘You’re still the same Tasha,’ he breathed. ‘Feisty, emotional, warm, giving—’
‘Be quiet. I don’t trust you when you’re nice.’
‘I’m always nice, tesoro.’ His soft, velvety voice wrapped itself around her senses and she felt her willpower crumble.
‘I’m still really angry with you,’ she choked. ‘I’m always going to be angry with you.’
‘Even if I say sorry? Mi dispiace.’
She felt the warmth of his hand against her head and the heat of his body close to hers. He was a breath away from kissing her again and her eyes closed.
‘No, Alessandro—please don’t...’ There was a tense silence and all she could hear was the sound of her own breathing. ‘I mean it—I don’t want you to touch me.’
For a moment she thought he was going to ignore her and then she felt his hand drop and he moved away. ‘All right.’ His voice was hoarse. ‘I won’t touch you until you ask me to.’
Disappointment mingled with relief, and the confusion of it infuriated her.
It wasn’t logical to be disappointed when she was the one who’d asked him to move away.
‘That will be never.’ Tasha opened her eyes and looked at him, feeling as though the whole centre of her balance had shifted. ‘I’d better find you another nurse.’
‘Why? Last time I looked my leg was still in a cast and my ribs were still bruised.’
‘I don’t think I can do this,’ she said desperately. ‘I thought it would be easy, but it isn’t. We’re— You’re...’
He was still standing close to her. The warmth of him, the scent of him, wound itself around her insides and sent anticipation skittering through her.
She swayed towards him and then she saw the dangerous burn of heat in his dark eyes and remembered how long it had taken her to recover last time she’d fallen for this man.
She was hopeless at relationships, wasn’t she? She didn’t want one. She had a career she loved. And she had to concentrate on sorting out the mess she’d made of her professional life.
‘You hurt me, Alessandro.’ Tasha forced the words past her lips. ‘I have more self-respect than to let you do it again. I’ll stay and look after you because I gave my word, but it’s not going to be any more than that.’
* * *
‘We thought maybe a carefully placed interview with a celebrity magazine, Your Highness, focusing on your hopes for the future...’
As his advisers droned on, Alessandro stared out of the window towards the waves. It was early morning and there was only one surfer in the waves.
Tasha. She was out there again, enjoying the swell beneath her board and the spray on her face.
Seeking distraction...
It had been three days since their conversation and she’d kept their interaction on a strictly professional level, but that didn’t alter the tension that added an edge to the atmosphere whenever they were in a room together.
‘Your Highness?’
Alessandro dragged his gaze from contemplation of the surfer. ‘Sorry?’
His advisers exchanged glances. ‘We were suggesting ways in which you could potentially raise your profile even though you’re...’ one of them cleared his throat and looked at Alessandro’s leg ‘...incapacitated.’
‘Featuring in a celebrity magazine?’ Alessandro didn’t bother to conceal his contempt for the idea. ‘I don’t think so.’
‘It would be—’
‘Shallow and useless,’ Alessandro snapped. ‘I don’t want to be portrayed as some royal layabout. I run a successful multimillion-dollar business.’ Or he had until his brother’s death. Now a select team ran it in his place and he was only involved in the major decisions.
‘The important thing is that the people want to see you, Your Highness. They want to know their prince. They’ll pay an enormous sum for the interview.’ His chief adviser named a figure that made Alessandro shake his head in disbelief.
‘They’ll pay that much to take pictures of me lying on the sofa with my leg in plaster? The world has gone mad.’
‘The money would be given to your favourite charity, Your Highness, and that would be excellent publicity.’
‘And both contrived and manipulative.’ Alessandro felt bitter distaste for the workings of the media. ‘If they have that kind of money to throw around then let them just donate it to the charity in the first place. Cut out the middle man.’
‘Her Highness, the Princess Eleanor wants—’
‘I know what my mother wants.’ His tone cold, Alessandro stared at the thick file they’d brought with them. ‘What do you have there?’
‘We’ve outlined proposals for various ways of supporting charity and generally raising your profile in these...’ the man’s hands trembled slightly as he pushed the file across the table ‘...difficult and limiting circumstances. The ideas have been approved by the palace. The one that Her Highness particularly wanted us to draw your attention to is—’ He broke off, a sheen of sweat on his brow.
‘Is?’ Alessandro’s silken prompt made the man flinch.
‘Is the suggestion that you announce your engagement, sir.’
It was like being caught in an avalanche. The cold slammed into him, suffocating him and chilling him right to the bone.
When he didn’t speak, the man cleared his throat. ‘It’s been a while, Your Highness, and everyone assumes—’
‘I know what everyone assumes.’ Alessandro barely recognised his own voice. He leaned back against the sofa, suddenly exhausted. ‘Leave the file. I’ll read it and tell you what I intend to do.’
‘Yes, Your Highness.’
They left and Alessandro stayed where he was. The file remained unopened.
The thought of allowing sycophantic journalists and photographers into his private life made him cold inside. But the thing that made him coldest of all was the prospect of announcing his engagement. The last thing he wanted was marriage. Given the choice he would have stayed single rather than risk the sort of relationship his parents had. But he didn’t have the choice, did he? It was up to him to produce the next generation to rule the Mediterranean island of San Savarre. It didn’t matter whether he liked it or not.
Filling his brother’s shoes.
He needed to talk to Miranda. He needed to see Miranda. But instead of seeing Miranda’s sleek blonde hair and elegant clothes, he saw Tasha putting chilli in his food, undaunted by royal protocol. Hope I’m not supposed to bow or curtsey.
Tasha, walking away from him.
Since their heated, tense exchange they had hardly seen each other and Alessandro knew that she was staying out in the surf as long as possible to avoid him.
Telling himself that it was probably a good thing, Alessandro hobbled through to the bedroom and turned on the television in the hope of distraction.
By the time she arrived back from her session in the waves, he’d pulled himself together and he focused hard on the screen as she whirled through the apartment like a tornado, singing to herself as if nothing had happened between them.
Alessandro watched her steadily. She was putting on an act.
‘Hi, there, hopalong!’ she called to him as she stripped off the jacket she’d put on over her wetsuit and walked jauntily towards her bedroom. ‘Surf’s up today and this time I’m not saying that to make you want to thump me.’
‘Tasha—’
‘Need to get out of my wet things!’
He had to admire her performance. If he hadn’t known better he would have said she was indifferent. But he knew she was far from indifferent. Watching her breeze through the house, he wondered how long she was going to keep up the pretence that nothing was happening between them. ‘When I finally get this damn plaster off my leg, I’ll join you.’ They were going through the motions. Talking about surfing, even though that wasn’t the topic uppermost in their thoughts.
He heard the soft hiss of water as she turned on the shower and immediately he started thinking about Tasha naked. And thinking about Tasha naked—
Cursing softly, he picked up the remote control and flicked on the sports channel.
‘How did your meeting go?’ She was standing in the doorway, wearing a T-shirt and a pair of shorts. Her hair was still wet from the shower and her feet bare. ‘What do they want you to do?’
Get married.
‘The usual stuff. Palace promotion. I’m afraid I’m not very good at being told what to do. I’ve always been a bit of a rebel that way. Antonio was the dutiful one. He was the Good Son.’ He felt the bed give as she sat down next to him.
‘You must miss him terribly. I know you were close.’ Her voice was soft and for the time being she seemed to have abandoned her act. ‘I can’t begin to imagine how I’d cope if I lost a brother.’
‘We both had our roles. I was the bad boy. Even as kids it was the same. It never occurred to me I’d have to play his role. The truth is, I’m not good at it. No matter how much my parents would like me to be, I’m not my brother.’ Alessandro wondered why he was telling her this. He never talked about it. Not to anyone.
But talking to Tasha had always been easy. She had a way of making a person spill the contents of their minds.
‘No, you’re not your brother. You’re you, an individual.’ She hesitated. ‘I suppose you have to find a way to do it that suits you. A way you’re OK with. I mean, Josh and I are both doctors but we’re not the same. We don’t approach things the same way. He’s very analytical whereas I’m more emotional. But I don’t think either one of us is better or worse than the other. We’re just different.’
‘The problem is, my parents don’t want different. If they could have chosen, I would have been the one who died in that car.’
‘Don’t say that.’ She sounded shocked and then her forehead creased into a tiny frown. ‘The other night when we were talking—you said it was your fault...’
Had he said that to her? ‘Forget it.’
‘But—’
‘If you want to help me, you can fetch that big fat file from the table in the living room.’ Alessandro gave a humourless laugh. ‘I have to go through it and pick out which duties I’m up to performing. I need to kiss some babies in public.’
And he needed to finally announce his engagement.
‘Kiss babies? Sounds like a recipe for disease transmission to me. I’ll warn infection control. Now, lie back and let me take a look at your ribs to see how quickly you’re healing. It will give me some idea of what you’re capable of doing. It’s no good opening a hospital and then finding yourself as a patient.’
Remembering what had happened the last time she’d touched him, Alessandro’s eyes narrowed warily. ‘No need. I’m fine.’
‘I’m the one who’s going to tell you if you’re fine.’ She pushed him back with the palm of her hand. ‘And wipe that look off your face. I’m in doctor mode. I don’t think about sex when I’m in doctor mode. And, anyway, I told you I’m not interested.’ Ignoring his protests, she unbuttoned his shirt with brisk fingers. The fact that there was nothing lover-like about her expression did nothing to lessen his libido.
‘What about the patient?’ Alessandro gritted his teeth. ‘What if the patient starts thinking about sex?’
‘That would be seriously perverted. After all, I’m hurting you. The bruising is better.’ Frowning, she trailed her fingers lightly over his chest. ‘Does this hurt?’
‘It depends which part of me you’re asking about.’
‘Don’t be disgusting. This is why I chose to be a children’s doctor.’ But her voice was mild as she slid her fingers up to his shoulders and pressed. ‘Does this hurt?’
‘If I say yes, will you stop?’
‘It obviously doesn’t hurt as much as before because you’re not doing that clenched-teeth thing. I think you’re definitely on the mend.’
‘Good, then can we—?’
‘I just want to listen to your breath sounds.’ She’d left her stethoscope on the table by his bed and as she reached for it her hair tumbled forward, brushing over his arm. ‘I’m just going to—’
‘So am I.’ Driven past the point of control, Alessandro cupped her face in his hands and brought her mouth down on his. Her lips opened under his and he tasted shock mingled with sweetness. For a moment he thought she was going to pull away, but as his tongue slid against hers he felt her moan and tighten her grip on his shoulders. There was a delicious inevitability to the kiss that simply added to the excitement. It was the culmination of the tension and anticipation that had been building between them since the morning she’d walked into his hospital room.
Apparently forgetting all her protests about not wanting him to touch her, Tasha ripped at his shirt, hesitating as he gave a grunt of pain when her fingers made contact with bruised flesh. ‘Sorry...’ She panted the word against his mouth and pulled back but he grabbed her, his fingers hard on her arms.
‘Don’t stop. For God’s sake, don’t stop,’ he groaned, his mind at war with his senses. ‘Do you want to stop? You didn’t want to do this—’
‘Changed my mind—’ Their mouths clashed, the kiss exciting and erotic, and he rolled her onto her back and then swore fluently as pain overtook him.
‘This is—’
‘A challenge. I have a better idea.’ Desperate, she pushed him back gently and straddled him, her hair falling forward, brushing his bare chest. Her eyes were like dark, dangerous pools. ‘I’m the one in charge. If I hurt you, tell me.’
‘I think that’s supposed to be my line.’ Alessandro pulled her head down to his and took her mouth with explicit intent, tasting sweetness and a desperation that matched his.
‘God, you’re beautiful.’ He groaned the words against her lips. ‘How did I keep my hands off you all those years ago?’
‘You didn’t.’ Frantic, she tore at his clothes and he tore at hers until only flimsy underwear separated them.
Panting, breathless, they kissed like two crazy people. They were so wrapped up in each other that they were oblivious to anything but the heat they were creating. Which was why they didn’t hear the sound in the distance.
‘Tasha? Alessandro? Anyone there?’ Josh’s voice came from the living room of the house and Tasha froze as if she’d been shot. Her eyes flew open and she dragged her mouth from the seductive pressure of his.
‘Ohmigod!’
‘Oops.’ Hiding his frustration, Alessandro gave her a crooked smile and stroked her hair back from her face. ‘It’s your brother. That’s not great timing. You might want to put your clothes on, tesoro. I don’t want him to see you naked.’
