Comfortable Chaos

Comfortable Chaos
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Comfortable Chaos is the first book that accepts the pace of modern living and helps readers come to their own life balance. This book recognizes that life today will never be free of stress and that everyone has his or her own level of tolerance for chaos.

Оглавление

Carolyn Harvey & Beth Herrild. Comfortable Chaos

COMFORTABLE CHAOS. Forget “balance” and make career and family choices that works for you

Introduction: Chatting Across the Driveway

1. Comfortable Chaos: It’s So Much More Than “Just Saying No” The Pursuit of “Balance”

Life As a White-Water Raft Trip

The First I — Individual

The Second I — Imperfect

The Third I — Inter-Related

2. Your Coefficient for Chaos

Determining How You Are Spending Your Time

Exercise 1: Where Does My Time Go?

Aligning Your Time with Your Treasures

Exercise 2: My Current Priorities

Your Coefficient for Chaos

Exercise 3: Determining Your Coefficient for Chaos

The high CFC style

The mid-range CFC style

The low CFC style

Is Your Chaos Working for You or Against You?

Tipping Out of the Raft

Recognizing the Warning Signs before Capsizing

3. Taking Charge in a High-Speed “Suck You Dry” World

Controlling the Corporate Beast

Worrying about the Beast, Not the Economy

Seven Keys to Controlling the Beast

Give up Perfectionism

Remember Your Priorities

Know Your Worth

Operate in Your “Want and Can” Area

Figure 1: Determining Your “Want and Can” Area

Figure 2: What Mike Wants to Control

Figure 3: What Paula Can Control

Exercise 4: Determining Your “Want and Can” Area

Learn How to Let Some Balls Drop

Eliminate it

Redefine done

Delegate it

Create (and Keep) Your Boundaries

Get out of the passive/victim mentality

Diffuse the emotion

Follow the pain to the problem

Decide on a “trial boundary”

Create a boundary support system

Implement the “trial boundary” and then evaluate it in 30 days

Know How to Get Results

4. The View from the Middle

Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

Why Self-Care Needs a Place on Your To-Do List

You will get more done

You will be around longer for your family

You will be modeling life-enhancing behavior for your children

Exercise 5: My Self-Care Habit

Using Transitions to Create Pools of Calm Water

Handling Anticipated Transitions

Envision the other side

Be conscious of the “one more thing syndrome”

Design the improved transition

Handling Unanticipated Transitions

Exercise 6: Handling Your Worst Transition

Comfortable Chaos: A Noble and Pioneering Effort

Not All Pioneers Travel the Same Road

5. Reclaiming, or Changing, Your Choice

Determining What’s Working and What Isn’t

Exercise 7: Determining What’s Working and What Isn’t

The Envy Decoder

Exercise 8: Decoding Your Envy

Which Direction Are You Moving In?

Exercise 9: Determining Your Direction

Where to Next?

6. Fulfilled by Full Time: How to Make It Manageable and Protect Your Priorities

Take a Dual-Centric Approach

Change Your Assignment

Change Your Alignment

Change Your Abutment

Moving Your CFC Along the Continuum

Maintain Your Boundaries

Ten Tips for Getting It All Done

Decide on your top priority projects

Use the 80/20 rule and plan

Use the “project of the week” concept

Get over the guilt of e-mail

Develop the need for speed

Avoid any meeting that doesn’t help you with one of your critical projects

Learn the tools that are pertinent for your job

Be highly organized and work “lean”

Think before you say “yes”

Surround yourself with capable and positive people

7. Flextime, Compressed Workweeks, and Telecommuting: Three Wonderful Ways to Distribute Full-Time Work

Flextime: Working When It Works for You

How much of my time is spent in cross-functional collaboration?

How will I accommodate communication among my direct reporting relationships?

Can I honestly sustain the schedule I am proposing?

Compressed Workweeks: How to Not Shove Ten Pounds in a Five-Pound Sack

Do I have the physical and mental stamina for a longer day?

Does my job realistically lend itself to my absence one day per week or every other week?

How will the work be covered on the days I am not in the office?

How will I communicate my schedule to others in order to reduce any possible resentment?

Telecommuting: Getting Beyond the Image of Working in Your Pajamas

How will my manager and I measure my deliverables?

How, and how often, will I communicate?

What equipment is needed and who will purchase it?

Does my work have confidentiality or security issues?

Am I clear on professional standards for telephone and e-mail etiquette?

What will I do to keep feeling like “part of the team”?

Will I feel isolated if I am working at home by myself?

Am I the type of person who procrastinates?

Do I have a workable child-care plan?

Telecommuting Light

The Common Elements of Three Wonderful Ways to Distribute Full-Time Work

Your Schedule As Part of the Bigger Picture

8. Working Independently: How Freelancing or Consulting Could Be Right for You

Work Schedules and Boundaries

Where Is Your Chair? Working from Home, the Client’s Office, or the Coffee Shop

Assessing If This Lifestyle Is a Good Fit for You

Are you willing to find work by networking, marketing, and selling?

Are you able to establish boundaries that fit your working style and support your goals?

Are you able to accurately assess potential clients and avoid potential problem clients?

Are you able to build positive relationships and develop client-specific networks?

Can you work independently and manage to a deadline?

Can you give up the traditional rewards of working in a corporate setting?

Can you cope financially and emotionally during the times you don’t have work?

Staffing Agencies: Friend or Foe?

How staffing agencies bill

Co-employment and length of assignment

Choosing a staffing agency

The three phases of an assignment

Checklist 1: Evaluating a Staffing Company

A New Model: Using a Mixture of Different Employment Arrangements

Getting Started As an Independent Worker

Independent Workers: The Future of White-Collar Work?

9. Staying Home Full Time: Embracing the Nebulous Nature of It All

Staying at Home Is Highly Individual

Staying at Home Is Definitely Imperfect

Staying at Home Is Intensely Inter-Related

Handling the Nebulous Nature of the Job

Design and create your own structure

Surrender to the fact that the work is never done and set boundaries

Recognize and embrace your many daily transitions in new ways

Creating a Sense of Accomplishment and Positive Feedback

Start viewing your home as your workplace

Put small, trivial-seeming tasks on your to-do list and check them off

Delegate even though you don’t have employees

Give yourself a performance evaluation

Dealing with the 24/7 Experience

Look at what you’re trying to control and why

Plan when to sit down and when to get out

Create that Friday feeling

Overcoming the Isolation

Hang out with “your people”

Make yourself do something stimulating or out of the box

Adjusting to the Lack of Pay and the Drop in Status

Work on your sense of intrinsic value and create your own rewards

Manage the money

Do some advocating

Allowing Time for the Transition

10. Part Time: Not Just for Retail Anymore

Meet Some Part-Timers

Nice Work If You Can Get It

Use your current employer

Create your own part-time work

Job hunt for part-time work

Do You Have the Right Personality for Part-Time Work?

Selecting the Right Ingredients for Success

Selecting the right type of assignment

Selecting the right type of boss

Selecting the right work environment

Successfully Managing Relationships

Productivity Power: You May Actually Get More Done in Less Time

Managing Your Time Off: How to Avoid “Full Time Creep”

“She Just Works Part Time” and Other Potential Perceptions

You still have a career and a real job

Flexibility about the exact schedule

The reality of occasional work on your days off

The financial balance of power

Managing expectations about your stay-at-home days

11. Job Sharing: The Power of a Partnership Has Endless Possibilities

The Unique Benefits of Job Sharing

The Downside of Job Sharing

Is Job Sharing Right for You?

Schedules and Structure

Could Your Job Be Shared?

Can the work be divided or can an effective plan for managing the work be created?

Does the job have complex communication requirements?

Does the job require heavy travel?

If the job includes supervising people, can you develop a realistic plan for sharing management responsibilities?

Are there quantifiable benefits to sell to management?

Assessing Your Company’s Culture

Assessing Your Manager

Finding and Selecting the Right Partner

Which Job to Share?

The importance of Being Seamless

Getting Started

12. The All-Important Affordability Question: Can Your Finances Support Your Dreams?

Gathering Your Financial Facts: The Critical First Step

Track your spending

Exercise 10: Tracking Your Spending

Document your net worth

Exercise 11: Documenting Your Net Worth

Assessing the Short- and Long-Term Impacts of Change

Meet current expenses

Meet future expenses

Medical and dental insurance

Life insurance and other company-provided benefits

Pension plans

401K plans

Stock options and bonuses

Social security

Creating a Financial Plan

Casting Your Votes Differently

Spending Plans: One Piece of the Financial Plan

Getting Professional Help

Financial planner

Investment manager

Stockbrokers

Personal bookkeepers

It’s Worth the Effort

13. Creative Child-Care Solutions: How to Create the Support You Need

Five Keys to Finding Creative Child Care

Networking, networking, networking

Get creative about your advertising sources

Don’t be afraid to combine options

Know yourself and your children, and trust your instincts

Always be thinking about your next phase

Eleven Creative Child-Care Solutions

Daycare centers (full time)

Daycare centers (part time)

In-home daycare providers (full time)

In-home daycare providers (part time)

Nannies (full time)

Nannies (part time)

Nanny share

Relatives or family friends

Other parents

Babysitting co-ops

Coworkers with opposite schedules

Why Finding Great Child Care Is Only the Beginning

14. Strategies for Re-Entry: How to Return to the Workforce after a Break

Strategies for Returning to the Paid Workforce

Find the right volunteer position

Network with both new and former contacts

Find a full-time professional who is interested in job sharing

Take a class in your field or do something else to keep current

Read industry and general business/economic publications

Participate in professional associations

Evaluate your former industry and consider a new industry if the pace of change requires up-to-the-minute skills

Consider going back full time even if your preference is part time

View your transition as a time to reinvent yourself by finding your passion and identifying your skills

Combining Strategies

Résumé and Interview Tips

Make sure your prior work experience is strategically placed on your résumé and is specific and quantifiable

Don’t try to hide your time out of the paid workforce

During the interview be the consummate professional

Avoid talking about your children unless specifically asked

Demonstrate your up-to-date knowledge of the industry

15. Creating an Alternative Work Schedule: How to Think Like an Employer and Pitch Your Proposal Like a Pro

Ten Elements of a Comprehensive Proposal

Introductory statement and needs analysis

Job title

Schedule specifics

Benefits to the company

Benefits for the employees in the job share

Cost benefit analysis

Successful precedents

Strategy for managing/allocating responsibilities

Detailed communication plan

Potential issues and solutions

Getting the Right Equation

Preparing for Possible Objections

Making the Presentation

16. Your Ever-Changing Journey

Acknowledgments

About the Authors

Notice to Readers

Self-Counsel Press thanks you for purchasing this ebook

Contents

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Eight years ago, I moved with my husband and two-year-old son to a bigger home in the suburbs. I first met Carolyn when she was pulling into her driveway next door. We introduced ourselves and Carolyn welcomed me to the neighborhood. A few more impromptu chats and waves across the driveway, and we were getting together with our husbands for appetizers and wine.

Later that year Carolyn excitedly told me she was pregnant. It was such a huge relief after years of stressful infertility treatments. Carolyn and her husband, Dave, were thrilled that they would soon be parents. After a few weeks, I shared my good news that I was expecting my second child. Carolyn gave me a hug and we sympathized with each other about our ever-expanding bodies and constant backaches. Our spur of the moment get togethers continued, including one memorable gathering around Christmas when we were both hugely pregnant and snowed in on our little cul-de-sac for several days (snow is an anomaly in Seattle so we don’t quite know how to deal with it, especially on giant hills)!

.....

a) enjoy the freedom of being spontaneous

b) feel best when you have a plan for your day and follow it

.....

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