Читать книгу Reunited with the Cowboy - Carolyne Aarsen - Страница 11
ОглавлениеHeather tried not to panic as she stood on the road watching her car, resting on the flat deck of Dwayne’s tow truck, head back to Saddlebank.
It’ll be okay, she reminded herself. How damaged could a car get from hitting a ditch? She chose not to think about the whine she’d been hearing since Rapid City, South Dakota. The car would be fine.
She was staying at the ranch until the weekend. That should give them enough time to fix it. Then she could head out to Seattle for her job interview.
A prayer hovered on the periphery of her thoughts, a remnant of a youth spent going to church. But she brushed it aside. She’d sent out many prayers the past few years. None of them had been answered, and she doubted any would be now. She had learned the hard way that she was on her own in this world.
A quick glance back showed her that John had already moved Adana’s car seat to the middle of the cab, putting the little girl between the two adults.
As Heather got back in the truck, Adana reached out to her dad. “We see Grammy?” she asked.
“No, honey. We’ll see Grammy another time,” John said as he started the engine and made a U-turn on the road.
“Wanna see Grammy,” Adana whined. “See Grammy.”
“Sorry, honey.” He gave Heather an apologetic look. “We were on our way to Sandy’s parents for dinner. They’re leaving on a trip and had hoped to see Adana before they went.”
Heather felt guilty. She remembered all too well the first time Sandy, taking pity on the new girl at school, had taken her home with her. Kim Panko, Sandy’s mother, had been friendly enough, but Heather had an innate ability to read people—a necessary skill developed as a result of the constant moves she and her natural mother, Beryl Winson, had made the first ten years of Heather’s life. Over the course of the two girls’ friendship, Sandy’s mother had reminded Heather often how fortunate she’d been to be taken in and adopted by the Bannister family. She suspected Kim wouldn’t be pleased to find out her return to Saddlebank was the reason John and Adana hadn’t come for supper.
“I could have called my dad to pick me up,” she said. “Or Keira.”
“And it would have taken them half an hour to get here. It’s fine.”
Heather folded her hands in her lap, looking directly ahead, wondering if waiting in the chilly wind would have been preferable to riding with John and his daughter, feeling guilty because her mistake had prevented them from visiting Sandy’s parents.
“Your mother is excited to see you,” John said, his own eyes on the road. “That’s all she’s been talking about since she found out you were coming.”
“I’m excited to see her and Dad, too. It’s been so long.”
“So why—” John stopped himself there. “Sorry. None of my business.”
“Why was I gone so long?” Heather blamed the sharp note in her voice on the delayed reaction to plowing her car into the ditch. It had nothing to do with seeing her old boyfriend again.
John gave her a direct look, his blue eyes seeming to bore into her. Then he glanced away.
“I couldn’t get the time off. I would have come if I could.” The words sounded lame, even to her.
“Pwease, have earrings,” Adana said, reaching for the feather-shaped baubles tangled in Heather’s long hair.
“Those are too dangerous for you to play with,” she replied.
“And probably too expensive,” John added. He was smiling, but Heather caught the faintest hint of reproach.
She could have told him that she’d picked these up on the cheap from a street vendor at Herald Square as she’d been hurrying to an interview for yet another low-paying job. But saying so would require an explanation as to why she was forced to work in a retail job—any job, actually—when she’d made so much money modeling. Which would mean delving into the sorry state of her finances and her relationship with Mitch.
Your new job is the start of your new life, she reminded herself. Only if you can get to Seattle. Only if your car gets fixed in time.
Adana yawned loudly, then laid her head back against her car seat, blinking slowly. She looked tired, but turned to Heather again, softly smiling and reaching out to touch her arm.
Sorrow lacerated Heather’s soul at the contact, and she felt as if her breath was sucked out of her body. Seeing this little girl up close brought back painful memories of her own loss.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” John asked her. “You look like you’re in pain. Did you get hurt when your car hit the ditch?”
Heather fought for composure, slowly breathing in and out. “No. I’m fine.” The aches in her body would go away. The one in her soul would be with her always. She’d thought she had buried it, but Adana was a reminder of what she had lost.
“I hope she sleeps a bit,” John was saying. “She’s been out of sorts the last few days. Getting shuffled around too much.”
“My mom takes care of her when you’re working, doesn’t she?”
“She did. But after your mom broke her neck, your mom’s friend Alice has been helping out. She’s a good person, just...” John stopped there.
“Not the same as her mother,” Heather finished for him.
He nodded at her comment. “No. And I can’t give Adana that.”
Heather heard the sorrow in his voice and felt a glimmer of envy for the person he was grieving.
“Your daughter looks a lot like Sandy,” she couldn’t help saying.
“That’s what everyone tells me,” John replied, his features softening as he smiled at his little girl. “Thankfully, she has Sandy’s sweet personality, too.”
“Lucky her. Sandy was a wonderful person and a good friend. I’m sure...I’m sure you miss her.”
John laid his hand on Adana’s legs, curling his fingers around them, as if reinforcing the connection between them. “Thankfully, I still have Adana.”
Heather knew his comment was a simple statement of fact, but she couldn’t help feeling a gentle reprimand. She should have sent a sympathy card after Sandy’s death, but Heather and John had had a complicated history. Too many missed opportunities.
Too many wrong choices.
Heather stopped herself from delving into the past as she stared at the road ahead. This visit to the ranch was a chance to catch her breath. Connect with her family before she headed out to a job that she felt would give her some control over her runaway life.
She glanced at John’s profile. In spite of the tension that seemed to have settled between them like a silent visitor, she felt that curious twinge of attraction that was always between them.
His features were even, well proportioned. His narrow nose, angled cheekbones and strong chin with the faintest hint of scruff all combined in perfect harmony. Even his tousled blond hair added to the look of a man who commanded attention everywhere he went.
Aware of her scrutiny, he sent a puzzled glance her way. “What’s wrong?”
She laughed. “Nothing. I was just thinking you’d make a good model.”
His eyes narrowed. “That’s not the kind of life I’d like.”
The harsh note in his voice seemed like another reprimand of her previous lifestyle.
Modeling had made her a lot of money, but had also brought her a lot of grief. It had created a false sense of what had value and what didn’t. And from the frown on John’s face, it had caused an even larger chasm between them.
“It isn’t for everyone,” she admitted quietly.
“Did you enjoy it? Modeling?”
She easily heard his unspoken questions.
Why did you quit college? Why did you choose Mitch over me?
“I don’t think I would have chosen that career if it wasn’t for Mitch,” Heather responded, trying not to sound defensive.
“He got you your first job, didn’t he?”
She gave a curt nod, remembering too well Mitch’s promises of big money that had made her quit college when things got hard. And the money had come those first few years. She had been able to repay the Bannisters the sum they had put up for her college expenses, which had made her feel she’d repaid her debt to them. But even as she’d experienced some success, it all came to a crashing halt when Mitch had made some bad investments. The first thing he lost was the fancy apartment, the second, his control over his temper.
Regret, Heather’s constant companion, shivered through her.
“I was sorry to hear about your divorce,” John said. “I’m sure...it’s been hard.”
“It’s okay. I’m over the worst of it,” she told him, with a careful shrug.
Which was a lie, she thought, unable to keep herself from glancing at Adana again. Heather had thought she was over the worst, until she saw John and his perfect little girl—both stark reminders of what she had given up to seek a life she’d thought she’d wanted.
She looked ahead, drawing on old survival skills, tricks she’d learned to get through whatever faced her.
You’re on your own, Heather, she reminded herself. Only you can take care of you.
* * *
“Thanks for bringing our girl home,” Monty said, taking one of Heather’s suitcases from John as he stepped off the back of his truck. “How badly is Heather’s car damaged?”
“Not sure. Dwayne said he would tell Alan to call you and let you know,” John said as he set a second suitcase on the ground. “But from what I could see, the front end was badly dented up and the tires had come off the rims.”
Monty frowned as he digested that information. “Well, we’re glad she’s okay.”
John nodded, then glanced past him to where Heather stood, hugging her sister. The lights from the ranch house spilled out, casting them in stark relief.
Ellen stood to one side, her arm around Heather’s shoulder, her neck brace preventing her from doing more than that.
When the two girls drew apart, Heather kissed her mom carefully on the cheek. Then John saw Ellen gently wipe her adopted daughter’s face, her own features looking pained. “Oh, baby girl,” he heard her say. “We missed you so much.”
“I missed you, too.” The broken note in Heather’s voice troubled him. She had never been one to share her emotions. To see her so vulnerable created a push-pull of tangled emotions. He shook his head, then turned back to Monty.
“I better get going. Adana is still sleeping, but she’s probably hungry. Never did make it to Saddlebank for dinner with Kim and Rex.” His in-laws were leaving on a cruise and had hoped to see him and Adana before they left tomorrow. It was too late to go back now.
“Would you like to join us?” Ellen asked.
Heather’s head swung toward him the same time he looked her way. It wasn’t too hard to see the alarm on her features. Seemed as if she was as anxious about spending time with him as he was with her.
“It’s okay,” he said, holding up a gloved hand. “I’m sure you have lots to catch up on with Heather. I don’t want to impose.”
“Oh, since when are you imposing?” Ellen protested. “You eat here plenty.”
“And that’s why I should let you have some time alone.” Sitting with Heather in the truck had been harder than he wanted to admit to himself. She was part of his youth, his past. She’d only ever been his girlfriend, unlike Sandy, who had been his wife.
“Thank you for that,” Monty said. He leveled John a steady look, and behind that gaze John sensed an unspoken question.
Was Heather’s presence going to cause a problem?
Monty had always been very protective of Heather, a legacy of her troubled past, most likely, and John had always tried to tread carefully where she was concerned. That’s why, back in high school, he had waited to date her. That Mitch had beat him to it was poor luck and bad timing. However, when John had finally worked up the nerve to ask her out, it was with fear and trepidation of what Monty would think. Whether he was worthy enough to date the boss’s daughter. But once he did, he and Heather had fallen hard for each other. And started making plans.
He had always wondered if the Bannisters had encouraged Heather to go to college precisely to forestall their plans.
Adana’s wails from the truck reminded him of his other obligations. His main priority.
“I better get her back to the house,” he said, taking a step away.
He caught Monty’s nod of approval, and as he walked to the truck John found he had to stifle his frustration. Did Monty still see him only as the foreman’s son?
But in spite of his feelings, in spite of their time apart, he couldn’t help glancing back at Heather.
Their eyes met and held, John feeling the too-familiar ache in his heart.
He shook it off, turning his attention to Adana. He had his little girl to think of and she needed security and stability in her life.
Heather represented anything but that.
* * *
“Got clean tights, diapers, sippy cup, pacifier.” John marked off the checklist as he went through the diaper bag. Though his home wasn’t that far from the main ranch house, he always liked to make sure Adana had enough provisions for the day.
“Want to go,” his daughter said, as he packed up. She scooted away from him toward the back door, as if she knew exactly what was happening next.
“Yeah. I know, munchkin. I’m coming,” he said. They were running a little later than usual this morning. After breakfast John had cleaned up the house, did a load of laundry and organized the diaper bag. All in an effort to put off going to the main house.
Monty and Ellen always invited him in for coffee when he brought Adana over, and he always accepted, but Heather was there now.
He hooked the bag over his shoulder, scanning the house to make sure that everything was in order. This was the home he had grown up in, as the son of the foreman. It was compact and simple, and it was home for him and Adana.
It was a cozy place, he reminded himself. Sandy had never wanted to move back to Saddlebank after they got married, preferring their life together in Great Falls. However, there were times he’d imagined the two of them living here, after Monty had offered him a job working on the ranch. But Sandy never wanted to live in their hometown, so the dream had never materialized.
His eyes fell on her photo, sitting by his Bible, both resting on a table by his easy chair. He took a moment to pick up the picture, smiling down at it.
He had taken it a month before Adana was born. Sandy stood in profile to the camera, her hands cupped around the swell of her stomach, her short brown hair teased away from her face by a gentle breeze. Her head was tipped to one side, as if she’d been contemplating the new life growing inside her.
Compared to Heather’s sophisticated allure, Sandy looked almost plain, with her freckled complexion and large green eyes. No stunning beauty, she’d always had a beauty of spirit, which had more staying power than Heather’s breathtaking looks.
And each moment he’d spent with Sandy, he had grown more and more in love with her.
John touched her picture, sorrow welling up in him at the horrible loss he’d faced when she’d died. Leaving her behind in the hospital while he took his squalling baby home was the hardest thing he’d ever done. He still wasn’t sure how he had gotten through the empty months afterward. If it wasn’t for his parents, and their invitation to come back and stay with them at Refuge Ranch, he was sure he would have fallen apart. Their support, and Monty and Ellen’s help, had brought him through that dark valley to where he was now.
On solid ground with a daughter he loved fiercely.
Sandy’s little girl.
“I miss you,” he whispered to the beloved image in the photo. He waited a moment, as if listening for the giggly laugh that would bubble up every time he tried to get mushy with her.
But the only sound he heard was the happy slap of Adana’s hands on the window of the porch door.
He set the picture frame down, straightened it and gave his wife’s image a smile. “I told you I would take care of Adana and I will.”
He spoke the words aloud, as if to remind himself what was most important right now.
He would need every bit of resolve to get through the unwelcome distraction of Heather at the ranch. It was a good thing she was around for only a week, he thought as he walked toward his daughter, now tugging on the porch door. John could manage if he avoided Heather, which shouldn’t be too hard. Cows needed vaccinating before calving. The barn needed to be made ready. Corrals, chutes, gates and fences needed to be checked over and repaired. There was plenty to keep him busy while she was here.
“I go outside,” Adana called out, her hands landing on the window again with a carefree splat. She gave John a crooked grin.
“Yes, yes, we’re going.” He scooped her up in his arms, then held her a moment, looking into her smiling face, her bright blue eyes with their thick lashes, reminding himself that this precious bundle was his main focus.
He gave her a tight hug, holding her close. For a moment she laid her head in the crook of his neck and he inhaled the smell of her—baby shampoo mixed with newly laundered clothes.
“I love you, little girl,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to her soft cheek.
Then she giggled and squirmed away from him. Time to go.
He made quick work of getting her jacket and winter hat on. A few minutes later he was dressed as well, and they walked across the yard toward the ranch house, Adana in his arms and her diaper bag slung over his shoulder. The sun was gaining strength, he thought, looking across the yard to the mountains beyond, cradling the basin. He could feel the promise of spring in the warmth on his back and the sound of water trickling across the driveway as the last of the snow melted.
He heard cows bawling, gathered in the lots. They would be calving in a month. If things went well, and Monty accepted his proposal, John would soon be a partner in the ranch. He would have a personal stake in the success and health of the calves.
He wasn’t going to jeopardize that in any way.
With that in mind, he headed directly to the main house. Tanner’s truck was parked in front. Obviously, Keira’s fiancée had come by to see Heather.
John got to the front door and Adana banged her hands on his shoulders, squirming away from him. “No. Not go to house. Go on the wagon,” she protested, as he struggled to hold her wriggling body while he opened the door.
As soon as he stepped into the house and tried to set her down, she started crying loudly. The diaper bag slipped off his shoulder and fell to the floor, the contents spilling out.
“Do you need some help?”
John was crouched down, Adana still crying, sitting on his knee as he tried to gather up the cups and diapers, so he had to look up at Heather.
Her hair hung loose today, the morning light from the windows beside the door making it shine. She wore a simple white blouse and blue jeans, and had an empty laundry basket resting on her hip.
She looked so much like the old Heather that his traitorous heart did a slow flip.
He hid his reaction to her by grabbing the diapers, dismayed when he realized that they had been lying in a puddle of melting snow from another pair of cowboy boots.
“Here, let me help you,” Heather said, setting the laundry basket on the blanket box and picking up various items that had spilled out. “We’ll need to clean these up.”
“Pwetty, pwetty,” Adana called out, her mood switching with lightning speed.
Except now, instead of reaching for the door, she was leaning toward Heather, arms outstretched. The sudden shift made John wobble on his feet.
“Can you take her?” he asked, trying to not drop everything again as he straightened. Wouldn’t that be just amazing, if he ended up on his backside right in front of her.
“Um. Sure.” He didn’t have time for her hesitation. He shifted his arm, pushing Adana toward Heather. She took the little girl just in time and he managed to regain his balance and keep his pride.
“Guess I can just throw these away,” he muttered as he picked up the remaining diapers.
He glanced again at Heather, who held Adana in an awkward grip. He knew Mitch wasn’t the kid type. He had made that loud and clear at his bachelor party. But John had always thought Heather would want children.
Her forced smile and the self-conscious way she held his little girl showed him quite clearly how different Heather was from the girl he had once dated.
“I’ll take her now,” he said, setting the diaper bag back on the floor and reaching for his daughter. “Come on, sweetie.”
But Adana ignored him. Instead, she had her hands planted on Heather’s shoulders, grinning as she babbled away, clearly fascinated by her. “Pwetty, pretty,” she said.
“I think she likes my earrings.” Heather seemed uncomfortable, her expression hesitant.
But Adana wasn’t looking at the pearls hanging from Heather’s ears; her eyes were on Heather’s face.
“Probably,” John agreed. He caught Adana under the arms and was about to pull her away when she screeched her objection.
“No! No, Daddy! Pwetty!” She leaned away from him, then laid her head on Heather’s shoulder.
Heather shot him a flustered look. “I’m sorry.”
He didn’t know why his daughter had suddenly formed this attachment to a woman she didn’t know. Adana was an easygoing girl, but she didn’t quickly go to strangers.
Heather turned then, shifting her arms so that John could more easily take Adana from him.
“Hey, you two, are you coming in or are you going to keep yapping?” Tanner called out from the dining room.
Heather gave John an apologetic look, then walked into the kitchen. With Adana wriggling in his arms, he followed her.
“Hey, John.” Tanner leaned back in his chair, grinning as Heather sat down. “Coffee’s on. May as well join us. Monty’s in no rush to head out to feed cows this morning.”
John glanced around the room. Tanner, the son of the neighboring landowner, Monty and his two daughters were all sitting around the table.
And there he was, the son of the foreman, standing awkwardly, feeling like the outsider.
“Sure. I’ll join you,” he said, as Keira got up to take Adana from him.
“Hey, muffin,” Keira said, cuddling the little girl close. “You’re as cute as ever.”
John walked over to the coffeepot, grabbed a mug from the cupboard and poured himself a cup. He knew his way around this kitchen as well as his own.
“So, John, what’s Monty got you doing today?” Tanner asked.
“Got some fences to fix,” he replied. “The corrals need a few repairs.” He looked to Monty. “You still figure on processing the cows on Saturday?”
“I got that part for the hay bind coming in on Saturday morning first thing, but yeah. After that we can get ’er done.”
“I’ll have the cows ready to go, then,” John said, taking a sip of his coffee.
“You know, I could use a capable guy like you at my place,” Tanner said, grinning at him. “Why don’t you quit working for this character and come work for me?”
“You trying to poach my best hand?” Monty protested.
“Never hurts to ask,” Tanner said with an unapologetic shrug.
“John’s a Refuge Ranch man,” Monty said, with a broad grin. “Just like his daddy before him.”
John tried to tamp down his reaction to the banter between Monty and Tanner. Right now that was his reality. He was only the foreman like his daddy before him.
He thought of the proposal sitting in Monty’s office. Now that he was so close, he wanted it done. Then he glanced over at Heather, just as she looked up at him. Their eyes met and she looked away. But even in that brief moment, he was disappointed at how quickly the old feelings taunted him.
He turned to his daughter, feeling a need to get back to work. To keep himself busy. “Hey, muffin, Daddy has to go to work. Wanna sit with me before I go?”
Adana looked at him, then her eyes skittered to Heather. “Wanna sit her,” she said, wriggling away from John’s outstretched hands.
“C’mon, honey. Come sit with Daddy,” he coaxed.
“Sit her,” she insisted. Before anyone could stop her, she slid off Keira’s lap, scooted around John’s chair and headed straight to Heather.
“Guess you got dumped by your own daughter,” Tanner teased.
John was far too aware of the irony of the situation. Getting dumped by his daughter in favor of the woman who had dumped him.
He caught the look of wariness on Heather’s face as Adana toddled up to her, then her discomfort as the child tried to climb up on her lap.
John was just about to rescue his daughter when Heather finally picked her up. But Adana wasn’t simply content with sitting on her lap. She had another mission in mind.
“Pwetty earrings,” she said, reaching for Heather’s earrings again, a cluster of chains with a pearl on the end of each. Heather caught her hand and eased it down, the stilted smile on her face making her look as if she would rather be doing anything else than holding his little girl. It bothered him that someone wouldn’t want to hold his precious daughter. That it was Heather struck him to the very core.
Suddenly the phone rang, and Keira jumped up from the table to answer it. She spoke for a few moments, then came over to the table, holding it out to Heather. “It’s for you. It’s Alan, the mechanic.”
Heather passed Adana to her sister with a look of relief, then grabbed the phone. “Hello?” She jumped to her feet. “Really? That long?” She bit her lip, then nodded, and finally ended the call.
“So? What’s the verdict?” Monty asked.
“Alan said that he had to order some parts and they wouldn’t be here for a week to ten days.”
“So you’ll be around longer?” Keira whooped, obviously more pleased with the news than her sister.
“It looks like it,” Heather said, reluctance tingeing her voice.
John knew exactly how she felt. He sighed and then once again caught her looking at him.
Unwanted and unbidden, attraction sparked between them. He tore his gaze away as frustration edged with an older, deeper emotion lay hold of him.
How was he going to avoid Heather for two weeks and still keep his own heart whole?
