Читать книгу Her Cowboy Hero - Carolyne Aarsen - Страница 10

Chapter Two

“You better come up to the house,” Monty said as Keira moved the saddle over to the workbench.

Tanner shot another look at Keira, still baffled at her hesitation, but then turned his attention back to Monty. “Yes. I’d like to see how Ellen’s doing,” he said.

“And your mother,” Monty added. “She’s been looking forward to your visit.”

Tanner doubted that. He and his stepmother had never been close and less so since David’s death. She had never come out and said it, but he knew she blamed him for the accident. And why not? Tanner blamed himself, as well. If he had been more insistent, he would have been driving his stepbrother back to the hotel. And both he and David would have made it safely to Cheyenne.

“Are you coming, Keira?” Monty asked as he dropped his worn cowboy hat on his head.

“Maybe later. I’ve got to cut out some wallets before I quit for the day.”

“Can’t that wait?” Monty asked.

“No. Not if we have to work on Tanner’s saddle, too.” Keira’s unexpectedly sharp tone grated on Tanner. But he shook off his frustration.

He’d gotten his first visit with Keira out of the way. Though he’d hoped his heart wouldn’t race at the sight of her, at least that was done. Maybe next time he saw her he would feel more even-keeled.

Help me, Lord, he prayed as he clapped his hat on his head. Help me get through this emotional tangle.

He turned up the collar of his jacket and followed Monty out of the shop and over the snow-covered yard to the house, shivering as he stepped from the warmth of the shop into the chill of the outside air. Help me get through the next couple of days. Help me stay focused on what I set out to do.

He felt guilty praying to God right now. Living the life of a rodeo cowboy wasn’t always conducive to a robust spiritual life. Too many late nights. Too many weekends taken up with riding and work and getting over injuries. Then back to work, only to repeat the same weekend cycle.

But he knew God was real, and right now he needed all the help he could get.

The snow squeaked under their feet, showing him how cold it was outside. Thanksgiving was just around the corner, and there were still months of winter ahead. Tanner looked out over the hills blanketed with snow undulating to mountains sharply etched against a sky so blue it hurt his eyes. Gray clouds were piling up on the horizon, hinting at potential winter storms.

But for now the sun shone on Refuge Ranch, sparkling off the snow-covered hills.

“The house won’t be as noisy as usual,” Monty explained as they walked toward the it. “Ellen usually takes care of John’s little girl, but he’s got her today. He’s doing some bookwork in his house.”

“I heard that he came back here with his daughter after his wife died. That’s a sad story.”

“It is. But Adana’s a little treasure and we’re all pretty crazy about her. Taking care of her is a small price to pay to have John back. His father was the best hand a rancher could ask for, and John has the same cattle smarts his father did.”

“John was always a good, solid guy,” Tanner said. “I always thought he and Heather were a better match than her and Mitch.”

“Didn’t we all,” Monty said, shooting Tanner a look, as if he was thinking the same thing about him and Keira.

Tanner kept his comments to himself. No sense in digging up the past.

They walked up the steps, and Tanner pulled open the door to the porch.

“Got company,” Monty boomed as the porch door fell shut behind them.

Warmth from the adjoining kitchen slowly penetrated the many layers of clothing Tanner had on. He stripped off his coat and hung it and his hat on an empty hanger in the porch. Then he toed off his boots, set them aside and followed Monty into the familiar coziness of the ranch house.

“We fixed up the kitchen since you been here,” Monty said as he led Tanner through the room as familiar to him as the kitchen on his parents’ ranch. “Ellen had a notion she wanted some fancy new stove and fridge and granite countertops. Place looks like a dairy barn with all these shiny appliances far as I’m concerned,” he said, waving a dismissive hand at the stainless-steel stove, refrigerator and dishwasher. “At least she kept the table in the nook.”

A large bay window with French doors opening to a snow-covered deck was home to a small wooden table with mismatched chairs that, Tanner knew, were part of Monty’s father and grandfather’s ranch house that this house had replaced.

“Still looks cozy,” Tanner said, stopping by the table. He remembered drinking many a cup of hot chocolate in the winter or root beer in the summer at this table when he and Keira were dating. Refuge Ranch had truly lived up to its name when his own home had been a place of discord and conflict. Tanner’s father, Cyrus, had married Alice less than a year after his wife’s death, when Tanner was only three. David was born within the first year of that marriage. While David and Tanner always got along, Tanner remembered many fights between Cyrus and Alice, though he never knew the cause.

Yet in spite of their antagonism, Alice had inherited the entire ranch when Cyrus died. Tanner had suspected that his father had neglected to change his will as he had always promised Tanner he would. To be fair, his father hadn’t planned on having a heart attack when he was still in his prime, but still...

Then, shortly after the funeral, Alice had made it crystal clear that her son David would be the one to run the ranch. Not Tanner.

He had kept the shame and pain of it to himself after his father’s death, unable to tell Keira.

All throughout their courtship she talked about moving to the Fortier ranch and how they would fix it up. Tanner knew how much she loved the wide-open spaces of the ranch and the valley. He knew how hard it would be for her to move into town. Too proud to tell her exactly why, he started working as a mechanic, trying to to scrape enough money together to find a small place outside town and still find a way for him to make a living. Weekends were spent rodeoing. Things had slowly been coming together and he’d weathered their fights, hoping to present it to her once he had a place to buy. Only then did he mean to tell her about his father’s will and the repercussions for them.

He’d obviously waited too long. After one particularly bad fight about why he was gone so much and working so hard, she had given him back his ring. After a long spell of work and rodeoing, he realized he had to tell her about Cyrus’s will. He called her, saying that he had important news. Nothing.

Then he texted her. Again, nothing.

He came back to Saddlebank to talk to her in person, but she was gone. She couldn’t or wouldn’t give him that second chance or any explanation why.

He hadn’t heard from her since.

“Hey, ladies, look who I brought,” Monty announced as they stepped into the large, exposed-beamed living room. A fire crackled in the woodstove, generating a welcome heat.

His stepmother sat on a leather easy chair, facing him, her blond hair cut in a serviceable page boy, dark framed glasses emphasizing her green eyes. She wore a white shirt, black chinos and sensible white shoes, all of which combined to make her look precisely like the nurse she was.

Ellen sat with her back to him, her long brown hair, tinged with gray, pulled back in a ponytail hanging over the large brace that held her neck and upper chest immobilized. She sat upright in a chair and as she slowly got to her feet Tanner winced at the sight of the brace.

“I know, I know, I look like an alien,” Ellen said, her voice sounding restricted and strained. “I hope I don’t scare you too much. I’d still like a hug.”

“Be careful,” Monty whispered, detaining Tanner a moment. “She’s still in a lot of pain.”

Tanner nodded and slowly approached Ellen and, bending over, brushed a gentle kiss on her cheek. “Sorry, Ellen, that’s all you get from me for now.”

She smiled up at him and reached up to touch his face, then blanched in pain. “I keep thinking I can do what I used to. But it’s great to see you again. Though you look tired.”

“Been a long drive,” was all he said, glancing over at his stepmother. “Hello, Alice,” he said.

Alice set her cup aside, brushed her hands over her pants and slowly rose to greet him, as well. That Ellen, in spite of her disability, was quicker to greet him than his stepmother rankled.

Alice walked over and managed a perfunctory hug then pulled back, folding her arms over her chest. “Hello, Tanner. Good to see you. How have you been?”

“Good.” He struggled to think of what else to say. Since that horrible conversation when she’d accused him of causing David’s death, every exchange with her was stilted and strained.

The problem was, her accusations—spoken and unspoken—only underlined what he had always thought himself.

If he hadn’t let David stay behind to spend time with that girl, David would still be alive.

Monty walked over to his wife and kissed her lightly on the cheek. “How are you feeling, my dear?” Concern laced his voice and Ellen gave him a faint smile.

“Exactly the same as I did when you left two hours ago to go coffee drinking,” she said, a note of humor in her voice. “Would you like some coffee, Tanner?”

“Sorry, but I’d like to get back to the ranch and catch up on some phone calls and paperwork.” He caught a frown from Alice. “If that’s okay?” he added.

His stepmother shook her head with an expression of regret. “I’m sorry, but you can’t. I thought while I was here taking care of Ellen, I would get some renovations done on the house,” she said. “So it isn’t livable right now. In fact, I’ve been staying here at the ranch the past couple of nights.”

“So you’re saying I should stay somewhere else?”

“Might be a good idea.”

Her voice held a bite that he was too tired to interpret.

“You can stay here,” Monty said, slapping Tanner on the back. “Give you a chance to spend time with your mother, catch up with us. Keep tabs on your saddle’s repair.”

His stepmother didn’t seem pleased with the idea and he guessed that Keira would feel much the same.

“I don’t think so,” Tanner said. “I’ll try to find a place in town instead.”

“Don’t know if you’ll be able to,” Monty said. “There’s some hockey tournament going on this weekend in Saddlebank. Fairly sure the few hotels we got are full. So I guess you’re stuck here.”

Tanner stifled a sigh, feeling as if he was slowly getting pushed into a tight corner. Never a good place to be. “I’m not sure—”

“Not sure about what? We got plenty of room. John is staying in the house his parents used to live in, and our last hired hand quit on us so the bunkhouse is empty. You can stay there. It’s all ready to go. Trust me, its no problem.”

Tanner was about to object again but felt that doing so would make him look ungrateful and un-neighborly. He eased out a smile. “Sure. I guess I can stay. I’m only here for a couple of days.”

“It will take longer than that to fix David’s saddle,” Monty said. “Besides, you can help. You know a few things about saddle repair. You and Keira used to hang out at the shop all the time.”

“David’s saddle?” Alice glanced from Tanner to Monty, looking confused. “Why does Monty need to fix David’s saddle?”

“I’ve been using it all season and it needs some work,” Tanner said, glancing over at his stepmother. “It got a real working over the last time I competed.”

“You’ve been using it this year?” Alice asked.

“All year,” Tanner replied. “It’s been a busy run.”

“When are you ever going to quit the rodeo?” Ellen asked, a note of disappointment lacing her voice. “Surely your mechanic work keeps you busy enough?”

“It does. But I’ve got some good workers who are running it for me. Just hired a foreman last year so I could do this one last circuit.”

“Will this really be the last?” Monty asked. “I know you cowboys. You don’t quit until you’re dragged from the arena on a backboard. Surely you need to decide when the time comes...” He let the sentence fade away but Tanner finished it for him.

“To hang up my rigging and my spurs,” Tanner said. “Yeah. I know. Hopefully this year will be that year.”

“Why are you using David’s saddle?” Alice asked. “Don’t you have your own?”

Tanner was silent a moment, trying to find the right way to answer her.

“I do. But I wanted to finish what David started before...before he died.” It had been two years since David’s death, and those words could still cut like a knife. “So I thought I would use his saddle and dedicate the season to him. I want to take the saddle all the way to the NFR. But it got busted up at the last rodeo. Monty said he would fix it for me so I could finish with it at Las Vegas.”

He hadn’t told Alice what he’d been doing. He had hoped to surprise her after the season was over and give her David’s saddle as a memento. Tell her face-to-face why he did what he did. Hope that, by some miracle, she would grant him some measure of absolution.

Their eyes held and for a moment, her smile softened and he recognized it for what it was. A small movement toward forgiveness. Then she gave a curt nod and her mouth shifted into the polite smile he knew only too well.

“I think that’s admirable,” she said, her tone impersonal. “I’ll guess we’ll have to see how you do in the end.”

The end. For a brief moment Tanner wondered if there would be an end to his quest. To his desire for some type of reconciliation with the only person he could legitimately call family. His father and stepbrother were gone. He and Alice only had each other. All his life he’d hoped for some kind of relationship with her. While she may not have given birth to him, in truth, she had been the only mother he’d ever know.

But now, as ever, her manner was aloof, reserved and cool.

Time to go.

“So, the bunkhouse?” Tanner asked Monty.

“It’s all fixed up. Do you want me to bring you there? It’s not locked.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll come over with clean sheets for the bed,” Alice said, getting up from her chair.

“Just tell me where they are. I can make a bed.” She was the one who had taught him, after all.

“Of course. I’ll get them for you.”

She left and Tanner caught Ellen watching him, the neck and chest brace supporting her head giving her a vulnerable look. “We’ve missed you, Tanner. I’m glad you’re staying here.” Her voice, sounding so strained created an extra poignancy.

“I’m glad I’m back, too,” he said quietly, though staying on the ranch with Keira so close by was not how he had envisioned his temporary stay.

His mother came back with a stack of sheets and some towels. “I gave you extra. Just in case.”

Tanner gave her a tight nod, then took a step back. “I better get myself set up.”

“And we’ll see you for supper tonight?”

Resistance rose up again but the expectant looks on Monty’s and Ellen’s faces quashed it. Surely he could manage this for these dear people, who had been such a part of his life so long?

“Sure. What time?”

“Come at six.”

He gave them another smile, glanced over at his mother, who stood with her arms crossed, her stolid expression making him wonder if he had imagined that momentary bond.

A few moments later he was walking toward his truck, his breath creating clouds of fog in the chill winter air. He stopped at the truck, dug his keys out of his pocket one-handed and caught a movement from the saddle shop.

Keira stood in the doorway and his heart pounded doubletime in his chest. For a moment his thoughts drifted back to times he would help her in the shop, then go out for a ride in the hills. He watched her a moment, but he could see her eyes weren’t on him. They were on the mountains just beyond the edges of Refuge Ranch.

Her arms were wrapped around her midsection. Then, to his surprise, he saw her hand swipe at her cheeks.

As if she were crying.

* * *

“Excellent meal, Ellen,” Tanner said as he set his knife and fork on his plate and wiped his mouth with a napkin. “I haven’t had a good Angus steak for ages.”

“I’m glad you could be here to share it with us,” Monty replied, taking another bite.

“Keira made supper,” Ellen said, taking a careful sip of the smoothie Alice had concocted for her. “She’s learned to cook.”

“That’s a surprise,” Tanner said, glancing over at Keira. “I didn’t think you enjoyed cooking.”

Keira managed a half smile at his attempt to engage her in conversation, then looked back down at the steamed vegetables she’d spent the past ten minutes pushing around her plate. She knew what Tanner was thinking. Ever since she was a young girl she would try to find a way to get out of any kind of kitchen duty. Ellen and Keira’s sister, Heather, were the ones who cooked, baked, made jam and gardened.

Keira had always been more interested in tagging along behind her father, helping him in the shop and helping him and her brother, Lee, work the cows.

“I’ve learned a few other skills lately,” she said, stabbing a piece of cauliflower with her fork.

“I can see that,” Tanner said.

She wanted to look at him but chose to keep her attention on the plate in front of her.

Keira, her parents, Alice and Tanner were gathered around the large table that filled the dining area tucked away in one corner of the large open main floor. The lights around them were turned low, a fire crackled and popped in the stone fireplace. Curtains were drawn across the windows, creating a peaceful and cozy ambience.

But for Keira the meal had been an ordeal. Tanner had ended up sitting across from her, and every time she looked up she caught him watching her, then giving her a faintly mocking smile.

Tanner had always been someone who deflected with sarcasm and could put on a cynical facade with people he didn’t care for.

But he’d never been that way with her. Which was why his half smile and slightly hooded eyes created not only a deep discomfort but also a pain that she felt she had no right to experience.

“It’s been a long time since I enjoyed a meal here,” Tanner said, turning his attention back to Monty and Ellen. “Actually it’s been a long time since I had a home-cooked meal, period.”

“I know how you feel,” Ellen said, setting her smoothie down. “I’ll be so happy to be off this liquid diet and sink my teeth into a juicy steak or pork chop soon.”

Monty patted her lightly on the arm. “Patience is a virtue,” he said with a smile.

“Spoken by the man who just finished an eight ounce sirloin,” Ellen returned with a fake glower. “But I should be thankful for small mercies. Only ten more weeks, four days and twenty hours till this thing comes off.”

“Not that you’re counting,” Tanner said with a grin.

“Can you tell she’s a bit testy?” Monty asked. He glanced over at Keira. “Honey, are you feeling okay? You’ve hardly eaten anything.”

“I’m not hundred percent,” was her vague reply. Which was the truth. Ever since Tanner had come into the shop, she felt as if her emotions had been tossed over like a bucket of nails she didn’t know how to gather up again.

She took a bite of her now cold cauliflower, choked it down and decided to give up on eating altogether.

“Is everyone done?” she asked, glancing around the table as she reached for the bowl of potatoes.

“What’s the rush?” Monty asked, stopping her by placing his hand on her arm. “We can sit awhile.”

“No rush. Just want to get this cleared off,” Keira said. “I want to get back to the shop to finish up a few things before tomorrow.”

Her father held her gaze, a faint frown wrinkling his forehead as if trying to see into her mind.

Tanner wasn’t the only one who didn’t know all the reasons she had left Saddlebank all those years ago. Though she had kept in touch with her parents, she had never answered all their questions about her and Tanner’s broken engagement. Her mother and father had dropped some gentle hints, but for the most part they had never probed too deeply.

“If you want to go out to the shop, I can take care of the dishes,” Monty said. He got up but suddenly his cell phone beeped. He glanced at it, then emitted a huge sigh.

“Everything okay?” Ellen asked.

Monty shook his head. “Not really. Giesbrook just called John. He wants those heifers delivered tomorrow.”

“You have to go all the way to Missoula on Sunday?” Keira asked, suddenly concerned.

“Not until later on in the day. I’d like to get some work done on the saddle, but I won’t be able to finish it.” He gave her an apologetic look. “Do you mind finishing it up for me?”

Keira glared at her father. She did mind and he knew it. If she didn’t know better, she would have guessed he’d engineered this particular change in plans. But what else could she say with Tanner right there? So she nodded and started stacking the plates.

“I told you I’d do that, honey,” Monty said.

“No, you can’t,” Ellen protested. “You promised me and Alice a game of Scrabble after dinner.” Ellen glanced over at Tanner. “Tanner, do you mind helping Keira?”

“Never been too proud to do dishes,” Tanner said, getting to his feet, giving Keira a careful smile. But from the tightness of Tanner’s lips she guessed he was as unwilling to be around her as she was around him.

They cleared the dishes as Ellen, Monty and Alice retreated to a corner of the living room that held the game table. Monty held Ellen’s arm, guiding her awkward steps, but they made it to the table without mishap.

“Your mom seems frustrated,” Tanner said as they brought the dishes to the kitchen. “Not like her usual bubbly self.”

“She’s fragile and can’t do much for herself, but she hasn’t complained yet.” Keira stacked the plates by the sink and started cleaning them.

“I’m sure having Alice around helps a lot.”

“She’s helpful. Of course, part of the reason she’s here is because of her house getting fixed up.”

“I thought Alice was here to help your mother,” Tanner responded.

“She is, but she doesn’t need to be here 24/7.” She didn’t mind Alice, but having her around day and night was tiring.

She busied herself with scraping the leftover food off the plates. Tanner left to get more dishes and she took a deep breath, chiding herself for being such a wimp around him. Goodness, it had been years since they had seen each other. Surely she could get over this?

Tanner returned to the kitchen, and over the clink of cutlery and the swish of water over the plates, the only other sound was the muted laughter from Monty, Ellen and Alice playing Scrabble in the other room.

Keira reached for a plate just as Tanner did, and when their hands brushed, Keira jumped. She dropped the plate the same time he did and it clattered to the floor, shattering on the slate tile.

“Sorry.”

“My fault.”

They both spoke at once, both knelt at once and both tried to pick up the broken pieces at the same time.

Flustered, Keira grabbed blindly at a shard, which immediately cut into her hand. She yanked it back as blood dripped onto the floor.

“Here, let me help you with that,” Tanner said, catching her hand to hold it still.

She tried to pull back, which only made the blood flow more freely. “I can take care of this.” She didn’t want him touching her. Didn’t want him so close to her.

“Hold still,” Tanner said, frowning as they both stood up. “Where’s your first-aid kit?”

“It’s nothing. Just a small cut.” She tried once again to pull her hand free but she had forgotten how strong and stubborn he could be.

Tanner’s mouth thinned into a grim line. “Just tell me where the bandages are,” he growled.

“Is everything okay in there?” Keira heard her father call out.

“Just fine,” Tanner yelled back. Then he turned to Keira, grabbed a towel and wrapped it tightly around her hand. He made her sit down at the small table in the breakfast nook. “Now. Bandages?”

“There’s a first-aid kit in the bottom drawer of the island. Far left side.”

“Good girl.” He strode to the island, retrieved the kit, then brought it back to the table. He opened it, then found what he needed.

“Give me your hand,” he said, his voice now quiet as he ripped open a bandage.

Keira tamped down her reaction and held her hand out to him. He knelt down in front of her, carefully removed the towel, dabbed at the cut as he examined it. “You won’t need stitches,” he said as he quickly wrapped a bandage around the wound. “But you’ll need at least two bandages.”

Keira tried to distract herself from his large hands gently maneuvering the second bandage onto her cut. She felt the calluses on his palms, caught the familiar scent of the aftershave he used, the smell of the shampoo in his hair. The overhead light shone on his hair, bringing out a faint sheen of gold in the brown, and Keira found she had to make a fist of her free hand to stop herself from reaching up and smoothing it away from his face.

The way she always used to.

Just then he looked up and their eyes met. Held.

His expression softened. She couldn’t look away and for a moment it was as if all the years between them, all the events that kept them apart, had been erased.

“Is everything okay?”

Alice stood in the doorway of the kitchen, her arms folded over her chest.

And her presence brought stark reality back into the moment.

“I...I cut myself,” Keira murmured, pulling her hand out of Tanner’s.

“Oh, my. Here, let me help you,” Alice said, skirting the broken dish to get to Keira.

“It’s fine now,” Keira said, tucking her hand against her side as she got up. “Just a cut. Tanner bandaged it up.” She was about to walk back to finish the dishes when Alice stopped her.

“Why don’t you take my place at the Scrabble game?” Alice said. “Tanner and I can finish up.”

“Sure. That’s a good idea,” she said, thankful for the reprieve.

But as she walked past Tanner, she caught his cynical smile, firmly back in place.

She paused just outside the kitchen, where neither Alice and Tanner nor her parents could see her. She took a moment, leaning against the wall, trying to get her bearings.

A little help here, Lord, she prayed, willing her tangled emotions to find the peace and equilibrium she had managed to attain before Tanner had dropped back into her life.

All she had to do was get through the next few days, she reminded herself as she pinned a smile on her face and walked out to where her parents sat by the table. Dad will get the saddle fixed and Tanner—and all the memories and pain he evoked—could be out of her life. Soon.