Читать книгу Don’t You Cry - Cass Green - Страница 17

There is a loaded pause of a few seconds and then she can’t hold it in any longer.

‘What the fuck, Lucas?’ she says and her voice is too loud even to her own ears. ‘Why the shitting hell did you bring that baby here? Are you actually insane?’

He doesn’t reply, merely hangs his head and Angel is suffused with a mix of intense frustration, fear, and love that makes her cross the room and hug him fiercely.

She feels him wince and he doesn’t reciprocate. A bit stung, she drops her arms and turns away.

‘Well, we’ll just have to work something out,’ she says and there is a tremor in her voice now. She wants to cry and she hates crying, so she swallows the feeling down like a bitter drink.

It’s only now that she remembers she hasn’t eaten anything apart from some garlic bread on her shift earlier. Her limbs feel weak and watery, her head filled with cotton-wool.

She goes to the fridge and begins gathering items of food, suddenly ravenous.

Lucas moves to the table and sits down, burying his hands in his curls, and closing his eyes. Angel glances at her brother as she puts houmous and cheese onto the table.

She feels a burst of resentment that he hasn’t answered any of her messages for ages, then presents her with this hot mess. But when she sees the tremor in his hands as he runs them through his hair her heart contracts.

‘You know I love you, whatever, you big drama queen,’ she says.

Lucas looks up and is surprised into a weak smile.

‘I love you too,’ he says and then something about this exchange causes a shift and he suddenly jumps up and begins to pace up and down the length of the kitchen, scratching at his arms. It hurts to watch. It’s like he’s trying to escape from his own skin or something. He used to do it when they were little and Marianne once made him wear gloves in bed.

‘Stop doing that,’ says Angel and he stops abruptly.

The baby over on the sofa starts to cry again. God, the sound of it is unbearable.

‘I hope she won’t be long with the milk and stuff,’ she says. ‘He’s doing my bloody head in.’

Lucas tears his gaze away and sees the radio by the sink. ‘Try putting the radio on,’ he says. ‘See if that helps.’

Angel darts him a startled look at this but says nothing as she moves to the counter. She switches on the radio and pop music burbles out. Angel twists the dial so for a minute it drowns out the sound of the shrieking baby lying on the sofa.

The baby is evidently startled by this and he stops crying. She gradually turns it back to a more comfortable level.

‘Well, aren’t you the expert,’ she says drily.

‘Angel, don’t,’ says Lucas, much more sharply than he intended.

Angel slaps her hand on her thigh. ‘For God’s sake, Lu! Why won’t you tell me what really happened? Don’t you trust me or something?’

Lucas stares at his sister and for a moment she thinks, this is it.

‘Why would I call you if I didn’t trust you?’ he says in a weak voice. ‘Anyway, I have told you everything.’

The siblings stare at each other across the kitchen while in the background Little Mix sing about shouting out to exes.

‘Right,’ says Angel, turning away. ‘Sure you have.’ She wants to slap him. ‘Why don’t you go and lie down or something,’ she adds as she goes to hunt for bread in the cupboards. ‘This could be a long night and you look like shit.’

Lucas hesitates for a moment and then silently leaves the room.