Читать книгу Trusting Sarah - Cassandra Austin - Страница 8

River rode away from the wagons to the little rise where he had watched the funeral. He hadn’t known then that it was his friend being buried, that the seven wagons were all that was left of Milburn’s train.

Now he watched the circle of wagons work its way into a straight line, move back onto what the army called a road and head out once again, toward Fort Kearny. The Carroll and Ortman wagons came toward the others and neatly added themselves to the end of the train. That was the first time those two had managed to do anything right.

Dr. Carroll and his brother-in-law had shown up in Leavenworth the night before Milburn had pulled out. Both men and the doctor’s wife had marched right into the saloon to find him, scaring away the girl he had been talking to. When he thought of Prudence Carroll, he wondered why he hadn’t run, himself. She was large and imposing, her eyes condemning him for being where he was, even though she was in the place, too.

Her brother, Ernest Ortman, was tall and as skinny as she was fat. He had tried to match his sister’s glower, but that was a tall order. Dr. Carroll was plain and quiet, everything about him seemed average, at least in contrast to the company he kept.

River would have gladly turned them over to Milburn if they hadn’t been the worst-prepared emigrants he hoped he would ever see. He had spent an entire day helping them buy their supplies, while Ernest Ortman argued with every statement he made. In spite of his good intentions, everything he said or did offended Prudence and Ernest.

“Damn,” he muttered, and the pinto twitched its ears. “I was really looking forward to turning those folks over to Milburn.”

River rode down as the dust settled on the abandoned camp and grave. No marker, he thought. And nobody here to visit it on Sundays. Why mark what no one’s ever going to try to find?

He dismounted at the site. Eli had carefully replaced the sod so it barely looked like a grave. A few of the wagons had even rolled across it, further obscuring its presence. There would be no Indians digging up this grave for clothes.

“Sorry I wasn’t here, boss,” he said, playing with the reins in his hands. “Sure hate to think of you going like that.” He pressed a loose piece of sod into place with a booted toe and looked across the prairie at the receding wagons. “But that was one dirty trick, leaving me in charge. I’m a good scout but a sorry captain.”

* * *

Sarah went about the meal preparations, telling herself she should feel lucky for every minute but knowing the waiting was making her tense and jumpy. Eli had startled her twice, though that had happened often enough before tonight.

“If ya’d take off that silly bonnet, a body couldn’t sneak up on ya so easy,” he had said the last time.

But she didn’t want to take it off. She wore it until the sun was sinking beneath the horizon and she could no longer claim she needed it for shade. Finally, she tossed it into the wagon, glad to be free of it but missing the illusion of safety it had given her.

She set out the last of the dishes and tried to come to a decision. She could plead an upset stomach and refuse supper. It was tempting to go to bed, but she slept in the wagon where all the dishes were kept and the tailboard served as a table. Perhaps she could visit Martha and Amy, tell Eli she had been asked to watch the children for a while.

That seemed like her best choice, and she decided to tell Eli at once. She spun around and gasped. There he stood, leaning against the supply wagon, watching her. His arms were folded across his chest, his hat pushed to the back of his head. One ankle had been casually thrown across the other. He had been there long enough to make himself comfortable.

The sight of him did alarming things to her pulse. He startled me! she thought, but deep inside, she knew it was more than that.

While Sarah was still trying to catch her breath, he spoke. “Sarah Tanton.” It wasn’t a question.

Sarah didn’t know what to say. She took a step backward and steadied herself against the tailboard. It was Daniel, but he looked so different. Maybe it was the buckskin jacket, but his shoulders seemed broader than she remembered. His dark blond hair was longer and sun-streaked. In spite of a few days’ growth of sandy beard, he was at least as handsome as he had been six years ago. It seemed a most inappropriate thought. She tried to ignore it and continue her study of this familiar stranger.

Six years had added some lines at the corners of his eyes, and the sun had darkened his skin, but little else had changed. No, the biggest differences she could find were his clothes and this unusual name, River.

His blue eyes, which she had so often seen dance with mischief, watched her curiously. She still hadn’t found her voice. Her mind seemed to want her to gaze at him forever.

“Rice has been telling me a lot about you,” he said. He pushed away from the wagon and closed the distance between them. She leaned back, bending over the tailboard as he grew nearer, too confused to think of stepping out of his way. He stopped mere inches from her.

“You’re the last person I ever expected to see,” he said in a low voice. “I’d like to know how you managed to be here. But we’ll talk some other time.” He reached around her, lifted a plate from the stack and turned to go.

“Daniel.” She barely breathed his name.

He faced her again. What had she wanted to say? That he was wrong about her? That she could explain? That she still loved him and was ready to forgive him? In the end, she said nothing, and he walked away.

It was then she discovered Eli watching her. She had been so intent on Daniel she had not seen him. Perhaps Daniel had. Had his whispered comment meant he would give her a chance to talk this time? Perhaps it wasn’t too late. Perhaps he hadn’t yet said anything to Rice or the others. Could it be that Daniel didn’t want his friends knowing about their former association any more than she did?

She realized she had been staring at Eli without seeing him. He looked from her to Daniel and back, and Sarah quickly turned away. She wanted to run, but Rice was beside her.

“Did you meet River?” he asked cheerfully, grabbing two plates and shoving one into Sarah’s hands. “What’s to eat? I’m starved.” He headed toward Eli and the cooking pot, and Sarah didn’t know what to do but follow. She filled her plate, sitting a little away from the others.

“How far are we from Fort Kearny?” Rice asked, finding a place close to River and to the food.

“Around a hundred twenty...maybe forty miles,” answered River, smiling at the boy. “Take about a week, I think.”

“There’s a little store near here. That right, River?” Rice glanced at Sarah to see if she was listening. She smiled to let him know she was impressed by his knowledge.

“At the Cottonwood Creek crossing. At least it was there last year. We ought to be going by sometime in the morning.”

“We gonna stop?”

Eli leaned to the side, making a big show of looking at the side of Rice’s leg. The boy looked at Eli, down at his pants and back at Eli. “What?”

“Don’t see no smoke, but them coins von Schiller give ya must be gettin’ mighty hot by now.”

River laughed. The sound brought back so many memories, Sarah found herself staring at him again. It was hard not to picture the same handsome face in different surroundings, different circumstances.

River turned his easy smile on Rice and said, “Some of the folks will need things, and the rest’ll want to see what it’s like. I reckon we’ll stop.”

“I reckon” was not something Sarah would have expected Daniel to say. Maybe the changes went deeper than she had first thought. Of course they did, she realized, if the reckless storekeeper was now a respected scout. He caught her watching him, and she looked quickly at her plate.

“I’m taking the first watch,” he said. “Thanks for dinner.” He carried his plate to the tailboard and walked away without another glance in Sarah’s direction.

She tried not to gaze after him; she needed to act as if nothing were amiss. Rising to scrape her half-finished plate of food into the fire, she noticed Eli studying her. He would start asking questions if she continued like this, and until things were settled between her and Daniel, she wouldn’t be able to relax. She would have to talk to Daniel tonight.

* * *

River tried to make himself comfortable. The most he could hope for on guard duty was something to lean against, and he had found it tonight in the form of a boulder on a hillside. From here he could look down on both the train and the herd of cattle a short distance away. The horses were picketed near the wagons. He cradled the rifle in his arms and watched the sky darken until all he could make out of the train was the silhouette against a few flickering fires.

How in all the world did she end up out here, on my train? he asked himself. Could she have wanted to find me?

When Rice had first mentioned her name, he had been surprised but honestly thought he didn’t care. She could do whatever she pleased as long as she stayed away from him. But seeing her had changed that. There were too many memories between them and the wounds weren’t as healed as he had thought.

Damn her! What can she want now? Her frightened little-girl act wasn’t going to fool him. He knew her! She had used him, betrayed him! What was she planning now?

River laughed at himself. What could she do on this train that could possibly compare with what she had done six years ago? Since then, he had tried not to think about Sarah Tanton. As he sat in the lonely meadow, he let the memories come back. He told himself he had to remember so he would be prepared for what she did next, but he knew he couldn’t have stopped the memories if he had tried.

Six years ago, he had been working for his father. Sarah was a local girl he had known all his life. He smiled slightly at the memory. She had been a little wild but lots of fun. His folks hadn’t liked her, but mostly he had done what he pleased in those days.

He couldn’t even remember which of his father’s many enterprises had generated the money that was to be in the store overnight. It had arrived in town on Sunday, and rather than calling attention to it by asking the bank to open, the old man decided to keep it in the store until Monday morning. He often had someone stay at the store at night, so a guard on duty didn’t seem unusual. Hardly anyone knew about the money. But River had known, and he had told Sarah.

River shook his head as he remembered. He had wanted to impress her. As if she had been hard to impress! He had been a complete fool, and she had used the information to rob his father.

Damn her! If anyone else had claimed to have seen her running from the scene, he would have called him a liar and stood by his Sarah to the end. His Sarah? Honest to God, that was how he had thought of her. But he had been the one and only witness, and he had found no choice but to turn her in. How could he help but recognize her? She had even been wearing the red dress he had bought for her.

River sighed and tried to bring his thoughts back to the wagons and the stock. They were peaceful and couldn’t hold his attention. Sarah had been arrested that very night. He hadn’t seen her again except briefly at her trial.

But he had tried. Fool that he was, he had gone every day and asked to see her. The jailer consistently reported that she did not want to see him. He had even begged her attorney to get him in. Again he had been refused. He had been slow to believe that she had betrayed him.

“Why, Sarah?” he murmured under his breath. “Why did you do it, and why are you here?”

At her trial, she had denied everything, pretended she couldn’t understand what was going on. She had been sent to prison, supposedly for twenty years. But he was sure his father would have been willing to work for her release in exchange for the money, and his father usually got what he worked for. Something like that must have taken place after he had left New York.

The law might have forgiven her, but he hadn’t. She had pretended to love him when all along it had been his money she wanted. When she realized the old man would never allow her into his family, she had found another way to use him. Well, he wasn’t such a fool now; she wouldn’t use him again.

The moon was making a feeble attempt to light the sky, and River could make out the wagons more clearly. As he watched, one shadow broke away from the others and moved toward the stock.

* * *

Sarah slipped out of the wagon after moonrise. She wasn’t sure how to find Daniel, but she had to try. She was equally unsure of what she would say to him.

The guard was supposed to watch the stock to see that nothing frightened them. Therefore, that was the direction she headed. Moving about in the pale moonlight was more difficult than she had anticipated. The tall grass and brush tugged at her long skirts and made her afraid of stumbling.

She walked what seemed to be a long way from the wagon but saw no sign of River. This was a stupid idea, she told herself. But how else could she talk to him with no danger of being overheard? When she stumbled over a loose stone and came close to crying out, she decided she was never going to find Daniel out here in the dark. If he was any kind of guard he would have found her by now! In frustration, she turned toward the wagons.

One step was all she took. A strong hand fell across her mouth, forcing her head against a hard shoulder while another arm went around her waist, lifting her off the ground. Long quick strides carried her farther from the wagons.

Sarah was horrified! She had wandered away from the wagons and was being carried off by an Indian! That was, she had learned, the worst fear of all the women on the train. She had thought it was foolish. Now she was paying for her disbelief. In her horror she imagined Daniel witnessing her capture and not bothering to come to her rescue.

When her feet were on the ground again, her knees were too weak to hold her weight, and she found herself leaning against the man who still held her. A voice near her ear spoke as the hands slipped away from her. “What do you think you’re doing out here?”

“Daniel,” she breathed, weak with relief and thrown off-balance as he drew away.

He saw her sway and caught her shoulders, turning her to face him. “So far, that’s all I’ve heard you say.”

She pretended a courage she didn’t feel. She could barely make out his features in the dark, and his voice hadn’t given much away. “I have to talk to you,” she said, surprising herself with the coolness in her voice.

Feeling the narrow shoulders straighten, River slowly dropped his hands. “There are a few answers I’d like myself.”

Now was her chance, but she still didn’t know what to say. How could she make him listen long enough to explain everything? She wasn’t even sure where to start, and he might walk away at any moment. “I just want to start over,” she blurted.

“Not with me!”

She was taken aback by the force of the statement. “No,” she whispered. “Of course not.”

River wanted to pace. His arm could still feel the softness of her body; he absently rubbed the spot on his shoulder where her head had rested. “How did you find me?”

“You found me.”

“I don’t mean tonight. I mean the train. How did you know to ask for Milburn’s train?”

“I didn’t. I didn’t even know you had come west.” She took a step toward him. “I went home to find you, but no one would tell me where you had gone.”

“It’s just bad luck then,” he said.

Sarah tried not to be hurt by his words. She had seen his arrival that morning as a stroke of bad luck, as well.

River sighed. “Once you decided to come west, I guess it isn’t that surprising that we’d meet. There are only about three major jumping-off points, and Leavenworth seems to be the most popular this season. Milburn’s is the largest and best-equipped train. Was,” he added almost under his breath.

They watched each other while an owl called its question to the night. Sarah shivered and finally spoke. “No one knows. I don’t want them to know.”

Daniel took a step closer. “Let’s do each other a favor. You stay the hell away from me, and I’ll keep my mouth shut. Will that satisfy you?”

Sarah nodded.

“Can you make it back to the wagons?”

“I think so,” she said, but made no move to go.

River sighed. “I’ll walk you partway.” He took her arm and led her back the way she had come. “Answer me one question,” he said. “Is the law after you?”

“Of course not!” She shouldn’t have been surprised by the question, considering what he thought of her.

“Of course not,” he mumbled.

At the sarcasm in his tone, she turned to him. “Daniel, let me explain.”

“Listen! You had a chance to explain in court,” he said, holding her at arm’s length. “My name is River, and I don’t know you. Can you remember that? You see, I’d just as soon these people didn’t know what a fool you made of me six years ago.”

Sarah slowly nodded. He walked with her until they were some fifty yards from the wagons, then his hand left her arm, and he slipped away.

* * *

The next morning in the wagon seat beside Rice, Sarah tried to pretend that this was the same as any other morning. It seemed, however, that everything had changed. Milburn was dead. Daniel was here. Somehow neither seemed quite real.

She tried to sort out her feelings about last night. She should be grateful for Daniel’s promise. River’s. She must remember to think of him as River. That had been a condition of his promise. She didn’t know him; he didn’t know her. If she called him River, her secret was safe.

Wasn’t his silence all she had wanted from him? He had promised that much, and she should be relieved. Why had she found herself crying when she returned to the wagon? Why had her mind been full of questions about him and his life these past years? She wished she had plied Rice with questions about his friend during that first week and a half of travel. Now she was afraid to ask.

At midmorning they came to the trail crossing and could see wagons coming from the southeast and more ahead of them. The wheels stirred up a fine dust, and Sarah, holding a small white handkerchief over her nose, wished for a large bandanna to tie about her face. For the first time she understood what the passengers in the rear wagons experienced.

Rice didn’t seem to be bothered. “Some places the dust is so bad you can’t hardly see the team, and where the soil’s white it’ll about take your skin off.”

There seemed to be wagons everywhere. It was as if with Daniel’s arrival, the rest of the world had taken the opportunity to intrude, as well. She thought she had accepted the fact years ago that what they had was over. She would never have guessed it would be so upsetting to see him again. Her feelings were a mixture of fear that he could ruin her new life, anger that he refused to listen and sorrow for what was lost. How was she going to live so close to Daniel and never call him by name. River, she told herself again. His name is River. I must think of Daniel as dead.

“It won’t always be this bad,” Rice said, startling her. She turned toward him and saw the concern in his face. “You can wet your handkerchief and wipe the dust out of your eyes. It’ll work better to breathe through when it’s wet, anyhow.”

“Thanks,” Sarah said, ashamed to discover she was crying again. She found the canteen they kept under the seat and poured a small amount onto the cloth.

“We’ll be stopping at the store soon,” Rice went on. “You gonna buy anything?”

“I don’t think so,” she answered.

“I want to get something pretty for the von Schiller girls, but I don’t know what. Besides, I don’t think their mama likes me at all, only I can’t understand what she says.”

Sarah smiled at the boy’s perplexed tone, glad for the distraction. “Maybe you should find something pretty for Mama, too,” she suggested.

Rice wrinkled his nose but fell silent, and she guessed he was thinking over her suggestion.

Suddenly he called a friendly greeting, and River reined in beside their wagon. Sarah tried not to look at him but found him impossible to ignore.

“We’ll make noon stop just past the Hollenberg Ranch so you and the others can go spend your money,” he said with a grin.

“It’s still there, then?”

“Looks like he’s had a good year. He’s added a stable that could hold a hundred horses, I reckon.” Rice laughed in disbelief, and River went on. “It’ll be a little later than the usual nooning, but it saves us stopping twice.” His only acknowledgment of Sarah was “Ma’am,” and a touch to his hat before riding away.

The sun was high enough for Rice to complain about hunger before they reached Cottonwood Creek. As they crossed, they could see the long low buildings of the Hollenberg Ranch a few hundred feet away. The stable was every bit as large as River had said, and Rice whistled in admiration. “Don’t you want to come in, Miss Sarah?” He craned his neck to see, and Sarah worried he wasn’t paying close enough attention to the team.

“I’ll look forward to your description, Rice,” she said.

When they stopped, Rice unhitched the oxen in record time. Eli was unpacking bread and last night’s venison when he hurried by. “Rice!” Eli called, stopping him in his tracks. “Eat!”

“Miss Sarah can save me something,” he said, backing away. “I’ll eat it on the road.” He turned and ran before Eli could argue.

“No-account fool boy,” Eli muttered, and Sarah felt her pulse quicken when she heard River laugh.

“I suppose I better see he stays out of trouble,” River said, reaching around Eli for a slice of bread.

“Well, who’ll keep ya out of trouble?” Eli tried to pull the meat away before River could grab a chunk with his fingers.

River’s arm was longer, and he soon balanced his prize on top of the bread. “You could come watch us both, Eli,” he said, grinning.

Eli grunted and shooed him away. Sarah watched as his long easy strides moved him quickly toward the store. She turned to get her own lunch to find Eli eyeing her. She wasn’t sure what he might have asked if Amy hadn’t interrupted.

“We’re gonna go to the store,” the child called, running ahead of her mother and brothers.

“That sounds like fun, Amy,” Sarah said, trying to pretend Eli wasn’t still watching her.

Martha joined them in a minute, holding one small boy by the hand while balancing the other on her hip. “We need to look for a couple things,” she said, a little breathlessly. “Would you like to come along?”

“How will you carry anything back with your arms full of boys?”

“Tom’ll be along,” Martha said, glancing over her shoulder.

“Let me watch the boys,” Sarah offered. “I hadn’t planned on going, anyway. You’ll stay with me, won’t you, Allen?” Sarah reached for the younger boy, who wailed and hid his face in his mother’s shoulder.

Martha laughed. “You come with us. He’ll go to you in a little bit. Or you can carry our things. Trust me, they won’t weigh as much as he does.”

Sarah ignored Eli’s grunt as they started away. Amy’s hand was soon in hers. “I think Lizabeth needs a new dress. You think they’ll have one here?”

“Hush, Amy,” Martha scolded. “The child doesn’t understand money. The food seems to be lasting like we expected, but I’m almost out of thread. I think I’ll try to find Tom a new shirt and use one of the old ones to patch everything else. Seems like all I do is mend. I tried mending as we traveled and almost ran the needle through my finger.”

“I could help with some of it if you’d like. I plan to open a dress shop when I get settled.”

“That sounds wonderful. I’ll ask Tom if we could pay you a little.”

“If you like to sew,” Amy piped up, “you could mend my dolly.”

“Amy,” Martha scolded. “Your dolly’s fine.”

“Her leg’s loose again, Mama.”

Sarah looked down at the little girl. “I think I could mend your dolly, Amy. Bring it by the wagon as soon as we get back.”

The little girl beamed up at Sarah as she skipped along beside her.

The store was crowded with emigrants, and Allen, who had stared at Sarah all the way up the hill, decided she was safer than the dark noisy building. His eyes never left her face as she carried him around the yard.

* * *

Young Allen wasn’t the only one staring at Sarah. River had taken a look at the horses Hollenberg had for sale and had noticed Sarah with the baby as he turned toward the store. He froze, forgetting the horses and the people milling around him, aware only of Sarah and the small child in her arms. She was thinner than he remembered, and he remembered all too well.

She had left the sunbonnet at the wagons, and her hair shone with the sun’s reflected fire. It reminded him suddenly of lamplight and red ribbons, ribbons he would loosen to allow her hair to cascade around her shoulders. He could almost feel the silken tresses between his fingers.

He watched her point out things to the baby, who refused to turn his head. After a few minutes he began to squirm, reaching toward the door where he had last seen his mother. River was surprised Sarah’s thin arms could hold the determined child, but, after a brief struggle, she won the battle, pulling the little body against her chest. She rocked him slowly, and he gave in, resting his head on her shoulder. She began to turn in a circle, continuing the rocking motion, caressing the tiny head as she comforted him.

For a moment River was in a lamp-lit room, watching her dance with someone else. He felt the stab of jealousy and pushed it away. It was a remembered emotion and had nothing to do with how he felt now. He looked toward the waiting wagons to bring himself back to the present, but she was still in front of him, dancing with the baby in the dusty yard, and there was nothing he could do but watch.

When Rice joined her, she quit turning but continued the rocking motion. The baby looked up to see who had interrupted and, with a little shudder, settled against her again. Rice held something up for her to see. Ribbons. Sarah nodded as they discussed them. Finally Rice folded the ribbons inside a paper and carefully tucked them in a pocket. He looked around the yard, catching sight of River. He waved, and Sarah turned, as well. Their eyes met for only a second before she turned away. The family returned, and Rice came running toward him.

“I bought ribbons for the von Schiller girls,” Rice told him eagerly. “I bought three like Sarah said. I’ll give the light blue one to their mama.”

“Ready to go, then?” River asked, looking over the boy’s shoulder to find Sarah. She had started toward the wagons, having traded the baby for the purchases. She held the hand of a little girl who was crying harder than the baby had been.

Rice interrupted his thoughts. “Did you ever give a girl something like a ribbon?”

River looked at the worried face and laughed. “Once or twice.”

“It don’t seem like much.”

“They’ll like the ribbons if they like you.”

“But I thought a present would help them like me.”

“I’m not sure it works that way,” River said. He glanced again at the retreating family. “Look, Rice, do me a favor. Tell Eli to pull out as soon as everyone is back. I’ll catch up in a little bit.”

“Sure thing,” Rice said, and started away.

“And, Rice...” The boy turned back. “The girls would have to be crazy not to like you.” Rice grinned and hurried toward the wagons and his previously forgotten lunch.