Читать книгу The Canadian Settler's Guide - Catharine Parr Traill - Страница 17
BORROWING.
ОглавлениеAnd now I would say a few words about borrowing—a subject on which so much has been said by different writers who have touched upon the domestic peculiarities of the Canadians and Yankees.
In a new settlement where people live scattered, and far from stores and villages, the most careful of housewives will sometimes run out of necessaries, and may be glad of the accommodation of a cupful of tea, or a little sugar; of barm to raise fresh rising, or flour to bake with. Perhaps the mill is far off, and the good man has been too much occupied to take in a grist. Or medicine may be needed in a case of sudden illness.
Well, all these are legitimate reasons for borrowing, and all kindly, well-disposed neighbours will lend with hearty good-will: it is one of the exigencies of a remote settlement, and happens over and over again.
But as there are many who are not over scrupulous in these matters, it is best to keep a true account in black and white, and let the borrowed things be weighed or measured, and returned by the same weight and measure. This method will save much heart-burning and some unpleasant wrangling with neighbours; and if the same measure is meted to you withal, there will be no cause of complaint on either side. On your part be honest and punctual in returning, and then you can with a better face demand similar treatment.
Do not refuse your neighbours in their hour of need, for you also may be glad of a similar favour. In the Backwoods especially, people cannot be independent of the help and sympathy of their fellow creatures. Nevertheless do not accustom yourself to depend too much upon any one.
Because you find by experience that you can borrow a pot or a pan, a bake-kettle or a washing-tub, at a neighbour's house, that is no good reason for not buying one for yourself, and wearing out Mrs. So-and-so's in your own service. Once in a while, or till you have supplied the want, is all very well; but do not wear out the face of friendship, and be taxed with meanness.
Servants have a passion for borrowing, and will often carry on a system of the kind for months, unsanctioned by their mistresses; and sometimes coolness will arise between friends through this cause. In towns there is little excuse for borrowing: the same absolute necessity for it does not exist.
If a neighbour, or one who is hardly to be so called, comes to borrow articles of wearing apparel, or things that they have no justifiable cause for asking the loan of, refuse at once and unhesitatingly.
I once lived near a family who made a dead set at me in the borrowing way. One day a little damsel of thirteen years of age, came up quite out of breath to ask the loan of a best night-cap, as she was going out on a visit; also three nice worked-lace or muslin collars—one for herself, one for her sister, and the third was for a cousin, a new-arrival; a pair of walking-boots to go to the fair in at ——, and a straw hat for her brother Sam, who had worn out his; and to crown all, a small-tooth comb, "to redd up their hair with, to make them nice."
I refused all with very little remorse; but the little damsel looked so rueful and begged so hard about the collars, that I gave her two, leaving the cousin to shift as she best could; but I told her not to return them, as I never lent clothes, and warned her to come no more on such an errand. She got the shoes elsewhere, and, as I heard they were worn out in the service before they were returned. Now against such a shameless abuse of the borrowing system, every one is justified in making a stand: it is an imposition, and by no means to be tolerated.
Another woman came to borrow a best baby-robe, lace-cap and fine flannel petticoat, as she said she had nothing grand enough to take the baby to church to be christened in. Perhaps she thought it would make the sacrifice more complete if she gave ocular demonstration of the pomps and vanities being his to renounce and forsake.
I declined to lend the things, at which she grew angry, and departed in a great pet, but got a present of a handsome suit from a lady who thought me very hard-hearted. Had the woman been poor, which she was not, and had begged for a decent dress for the little Christian, she should have had it; but I did not respect the motive for borrowing finer clothes than she had herself, for the occasion.
I give these instances that the new comer may distinguish between the use and the abuse of the system; that they may neither suffer their good nature and inexperience to be imposed upon, nor fall into the same evil way themselves, or become churlish and unfriendly as the manner of some is.
One of the worst points in the borrowing system is, the loss of time and inconvenience that arises from the want of punctuality in returning the thing lent: unless this is insisted upon and rigorously enforced, it will always remain, in Canada as elsewhere, a practical demonstration of the old adage—"Those who go borrowing, go sorrowing;" they generally lose a friend.
There is one occasion on which the loan of household utensils is always expected: this is at "Bees", where the assemblage always exceeds the ways and means of the party; and as in country places these acts of reciprocity cannot be dispensed with, it is best cheerfully to accord your help to a neighbour, taking care to count knives, forks, spoons, and crockery, or whatever it may be that is lent carefully, and make a note of the same, to avoid confusion. Such was always my practice, and I lived happily with neighbours, relations and friends, and never had any misunderstanding with any of them.
I might write an amusing chapter on the subject of borrowing; but I leave it to those who have abler pens than mine, and more lively talents, for amusing their readers.