Читать книгу A Diamond In The Rough: One Good Cowboy / Pursued by the Rich Rancher / Pregnant by the Cowboy CEO - Catherine Mann - Страница 14
ОглавлениеJohanna’s stomach tightened with each step closer to the guesthouse. A barn perched on a hill behind the Donavan’s main home had been converted into a guesthouse with soaring ceilings. One side had been removed and replaced with glass windows.
Tonight, she and Stone would sleep under the same roof together for the first time in seven months. They walked side-by-side silently, not touching. But the wind twined around them as if binding them with whispering bands of air carrying his scent mingling with hers.
The desire that still simmered between them was out in the open now. Discussed. Acknowledged. She’d told him no, and he’d respected that. But to be honest with herself, she wasn’t so certain she could hold out through tonight, much less through this whole week without succumbing to the temptation of one last fling. One more chance to lose herself in being with him. To immerse herself in total bliss. If only they didn’t have to face the morning.
Once the guesthouse door closed behind them, there would be no more delaying. And she was feeling all the more vulnerable after watching him hold the Donavan baby. The evening seemed to have been tailor-made to play with her emotions.
Stone opened the gate to the picket fence around the guesthouse. Cuddly Sterling, impish Pearl and loyal Ruby raced up to greet them, barking and sniffing their hands. Little Pearl’s head tipped to the side quizzically.
Crouching, Johanna scratched the cairn terrier’s head. “It’s as if she’s asking about Gem. I wish there was a way to keep them all together. I have to admit I’m going to miss that goof of a dog.”
“Life doesn’t always work out the way we’d hoped and we’re just left with doing the best we can.” Stone ruffled the Rottweiler’s ears, then the dachshund mix’s. “Thank goodness Mariah made sure all her dogs and cats were placed in good homes.”
Johanna glanced up through her eyelashes at Stone. His broad shoulders against the sentimental moonlight made for a mouth-watering silhouette. “You’re right. I’m just...feeling emotional about Mariah. I know it must be so much worse for you.”
He cricked his neck from side to side. “Let’s get through the week as best we can.”
“Of course, there’s satisfaction to be found in doing something tangible for Mariah.” She scooped up the dachshund. Seven-year-old Sterling cuddled closer as if sensing the ache inside her. “We should, uh, turn in. We have a lot of ground to cover this week for the other dogs.”
Nerves pattered as quickly as racing dog feet as she made fast tracks along the pavers toward the guesthouse.
Stone followed—she could hear the steady even tread of his long-legged stride. He reached past her, thumbed in the security code and pushed the large door wide into the sweeping great room.
Pearl and Ruby raced past, sniffing and exploring, closing in on the large dog bowl of water even though they’d had plenty to drink outside, as well. She set Sterling down to join them. Three fat, fluffy dog beds were lined up behind the sofa. The Donavans were thoughtful hosts.
As she turned toward the expansive glass wall, she couldn’t help but think the winter must be magnificent with the view of a snow-covered countryside. Even now, the sight was beyond magnificent, lush and green with cows grazing. She worked with large animals as a vet tech every day and had seen farms across Texas, but even she found this place breathtaking. What would it be like to have visited these people when she and Stone had been a couple? Most of their outings had been to more pretentious social gatherings, high-end fund-raisers or business functions.
Nothing like this day or this place.
The Donavans clearly had embraced the Vermont experience, complete with dairy cows. Although not all Vermont farms came with an ice cream parlor just for their kids.
Stone whistled softly from the state-of-the-art kitchen. “When they said they’d stocked the kitchen for us, they weren’t joking. Do you want something to drink? Just pick, I’m sure it’s here. Snacks, breakfast pastries, fruit and ice cream. Holy cow—so to speak.”
Listening to him ramble off the flavors, she realized he was doing his best to ease the tension between them. Definitely a wise idea if she wanted to get through this week with her sanity intact. “I’ll take a scoop of the maple nut.”
“Coming right up,” he said, opening cabinets and drawers.
She walked to the kitchen island and hitched a hip up onto a bar stool. “They’re a surprisingly normal family, given all their wealth.”
He passed her a bowl and spoon. “Are you saying that my family is pretentious because of our money?”
“Not at all. But some of your friends...” She stabbed her spoon into the generous mound of ice cream in the blue stoneware bowl. “They looked right through my father in the stables.”
Scowling, he stood across from her, his bowl in front of him. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“You were more than just sorry about it,” she answered, remembering well how he’d stood up to snobs. “You did something about it. I remember this one time when I was about eleven and one of your college friends was ordering my dad around. You made sure that guy was given the slowest, least cooperative horse in the stable. The horse even sat in the middle of a stream and got the guy soaking wet. I knew it wasn’t accidental on your part. Was it?”
He winked, his scowl fading. “You seem to have me all figured out.”
“You always treated everyone with respect.” Her trip down memory lane reminded her of the reasons she’d fallen for this man in the first place. “You took care of your own horse. But that day when I was eleven, I officially developed my crush on you.”
“You never told me that story before.” He shoveled a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth, his eyes tracking her every movement with an intensity that tingled through her.
“I had insecurities of my own in those days,” she admitted now. It was tough to share her self-doubts around someone as confident and, yes, arrogant as Stone. “I was a tomboy, freckled and gangly, living in a trailer park. I was brought up with strong values and I loved my parents, the life they made for me.”
“They loved you. The pride on your dad’s face when he talked about you was unmistakable.”
“Thank you...” Her eyes misted just thinking about them. She understood all too well the pain Stone was facing, losing his mother figure. “I miss them so much, especially lately.”
He ate silently, letting her find her way through. She wasn’t sure where her thoughts were taking her, but she felt the need to make him understand something she couldn’t quite define herself.
Johanna set her spoon aside. “I know your family is full of good people, open-minded and generous. A part of me didn’t want to show just how vulnerable I felt. Even growing up on the ranch, I was on the periphery as an employee’s child.”
She shook her head, her voice trailing off, and she ate a bite of ice cream to cover her silence. The maple flavor melted over her taste buds.
“Johanna...” He clasped her wrist. “Go ahead. I’m listening.”
Licking the spoon clean, ever aware of his eyes on her mouth, she gathered her words. “It’s strange how you said you felt you weren’t good enough for me.... Learning which fork to use for an occasional meal at the big house is a long way from walking in billionaire circles on a day-to-day basis. Keeping up appearances during our engagement and constantly worrying I would do something to embarrass you was exhausting.”
“You never let it show.” His frown turned to a scowl. “Don’t you think that’s something I would have cared to know? We were engaged to be married, for God’s sake. If we couldn’t tell each other even something basic like that, then what did we even have together?”
“You’re angry?”
“I’m frustrated, yes. All this time I’ve been thinking that I let you down.” He shoved aside his bowl and leaned on his elbows, closing the space between them. “Right now, I’m realizing we let each other down. Except you weren’t interested in shouldering your part of the blame.”
Anger sparked along her already raw nerves. “I open up to you, and now you’re pissed off? That isn’t very fair.”
He sidestepped around the island to stand in front of her. “Nothing about what has happened between us has been fair or we wouldn’t still be hurting this much.”
She swallowed hard, certain to her toes he was about to kiss her and she wouldn’t be able to tell him no. They would pour all those frustrated emotions into passion. It wouldn’t solve anything, but at least they would have an outlet, a release.
Except he turned and left.
Her jaw dropped.
What the hell? Stone had just walked away from her?
She almost leaped from her seat to charge after him and demand he finish the conversation. How dare he just leave? They had unfinished business....
But hadn’t she done the same thing to him? Not only had she run away from him after the picnic, scared she couldn’t resist the temptation to do more than kiss him. But she’d also walked out on their relationship and very publicly, at that. His words settled in her gut along with the sting of guilt. He was right. She’d let him shoulder all the blame for their breakup when she hadn’t given her all to him, either.
The realization echoed hollowly inside her. She gathered both bowls and rinsed them out carefully, wishing her confusion was as easily swirled down the drain. Or that she could just shake off her worries and go to sleep like the three dogs curled up on their beds, snoring. The thought of going to her room alone was more than she could bear tonight after watching all-day family bliss with the Donavans, not just as parents but as a couple.
She yanked a blanket from the back of the sofa and curled up on the couch to count stars instead of sheep.
* * *
Stone woke the next morning with a throbbing headache and an aching erection.
His shower took care of the visible sign of his arousal, but didn’t do much to cool the fire inside him. Walking away from Johanna the night before had been one of the most difficult things he’d ever done. But he’d been too angry, too on edge. He didn’t trust himself and damned if he would ever put her at risk.
So he’d left her alone. He’d worked for hours before falling into a fitful sleep just before sunup.
Tossing his shaving gear into his bag, he was still steamed over his conversation with Johanna last night. He’d spent most of the night reviewing their time together and he kept coming back to how she’d broken up with him at one of his grandmother’s major fund-raisers. That couldn’t be coincidental. If he’d known how she’d felt, he could have done things differently. Hell, he could have—
What? Given up his job and all the responsibilities that came with that? Dismissed his background and offered to give her the family she wanted? Last night he’d learned of yet another reason they weren’t meant to be together.
Who would he be if he didn’t run Diamonds in the Rough?
He tossed his bag on the thick four-poster bed beside a stack of discarded sketches for a new kids’ line with a horse logo. The images just wouldn’t come together on paper the way he saw them in his mind. Visions of a misty-eyed Johanna kept interfering, thoughts of her struggling to hold back tears when he’d held the baby.
Damn it.
He flipped open his suitcase, pulled out a pair of well-worn jeans and tugged them on. One day into this mandated week together and he was already losing his damn mind. He scratched his hands through his wet hair, needing to get his head together.
Barring that, he could at least let the dogs out.
He opened his bedroom door, wondering if Johanna was up yet. He didn’t hear her so he assumed not. The wide-open barn space sprawled in front of him. The dogs sat up, one, two, three—tails wagging, tongues lolling out. They launched off their beds behind the sofa in unison but thank God, not barking. He knelt, petting each to keep them quiet. Then he snapped his fingers to lead them to the door. Walking past the couch, he almost stopped short. Johanna slept on the sofa, wrapped in a quilt, still wearing her sundress from yesterday.
His gaze stayed on her even as he waved the dogs outside, then he turned to face her fully and enjoy a view that far exceeded anything outside. Many nights he’d watched her sleep, her face relaxed, her stubborn chin softened a bit. Her long lashes brushed her sun-kissed cheeks. His body went hard all over again, his jeans more and more uncomfortable. He needed to get himself under control before she woke.
Padding barefoot across the room, he quietly put together the coffeepot. A crystal cake plate and cover displayed a selection of pastries big enough to feed them twice over. He grabbed a bear claw, wishing his other hunger was as easy to satisfy.
As the coffee gurgled the scent of java into the air, he felt the weight of eyes studying him. He already knew. Johanna. The connection that threatened to drive him mad was alive and well.
He pulled two stoneware mugs off the hooks under the cabinets. “Sorry I woke you.”
A rustle from the sofa sounded, and her reflection came to life in the window pane over the sink.
“It’s okay. I was just catnapping anyway.” Johanna stretched her arms over her head. “It was tough to sleep after we argued.”
“That wasn’t an argument. I consider that a very revealing discussion we should have had a long time ago.” He poured coffee into both mugs. Black. They both drank it the same way, strong and undiluted by sugar or cream. The only thing it seemed they still had in common. He picked up both and walked toward her.
“What would talking about my insecurities have changed?” Her bare toes curled against the rustic braid rug. “Do you think our breakup would have hurt any less? I can’t imagine how.”
“True enough.” He passed her a mug, wishing he could find a way to be with her without tearing them both apart. “Truce?”
She took the mug, wrapping both hands around the mug, brushing his fingers. The ever-ready attraction crackled. He saw it echoed in her eyes, along with wariness.
“Truce,” she repeated, sipping the coffee carefully. “Where to next?”
“Travel day, actually. I’ve got work to catch up on this morning.” Not a total lie, since he always had work. “Then we’ll fly out this afternoon to take Sterling to his new family in South Carolina.”
“I’m almost afraid to ask who your grandmother lined up next. The president?”
“Just a former secretary of state.”
She coughed a mouthful of coffee. “I was joking.”
“I’m not.” His grandmother moved in influential circles. He hadn’t given a second thought to the families she had chosen. They were longtime friends. But he hadn’t thought of how visiting these high-profile people would go over with Johanna. How many times had he tossed her into the middle of unfamiliar, perhaps even intimidating gatherings with no warning? Hell, he hadn’t even given her any direction on how to pack, just offering to buy what she needed.
He’d hoped to use this time together to find peace for his grandmother—but also to find closure with Johanna. Okay, and also to have lots of sex with Johanna until they both were too exhausted to argue about the past. Then they could move on.
Clearly, his plan wasn’t working out because he was falling into an old pattern of charging ahead and expecting her to follow. She didn’t trust him and if she didn’t trust him, there wasn’t a chance in hell they could sleep together again.
He couldn’t change the past, and he’d accepted they couldn’t have a future together.
Although he could damn well do something about the present. For starters, he could share the details about their travel plans. But he would have to dig a lot deeper than that to fully regain her trust.
He sat beside her on the fat sectional sofa, trying to start right now, by including her in the plan for the week. “We’ll be visiting the Landis-Renshaw family in Hilton Head. They’ve vacationed at the ranch before. As a matter of fact, they rented the whole place once for a family reunion.”
“That would be quite a who’s who of family reunions.”
And he hadn’t even told her their third stop would be to meet with a deposed European king.
* * *
Johanna welcomed the bustle of their travel day to Hilton Head, South Carolina. Stone had arranged for accommodations in a pet-friendly beach cottage with plenty of space for the dogs to run. They would meet with the Landis-Renshaw family in the morning.
Other cottages dotted the shoreline, but with an exclusivity that brought privacy. One other couple and a small family played in the surf, but otherwise she and Stone were on their own. She’d sensed a change in him earlier as he’d shared his plans for the South Carolina portion of their trip. He was genuinely attempting to include her, rather than simply taking charge.
So far, the truce they’d declared had held, due in large part to how he’d included her. That helped her relax, taking away a layer of tension she hadn’t even realized existed. She’d been worrying about the unknown.
She sat cross-legged on the wooden deck, a dozen steps away from him. The dogs curled up around her and she checked over each of them, making sure they hadn’t picked up ticks in Vermont or sand spurs from their run along the beach earlier. She finished with Pearl, the search more extensive given the cairn terrier’s longer fur.
Stone walked out of the surf like Poseidon emerging from the depths of the ocean. Big. Powerful. The hazy glow of the ending day cast him in shadows, his dark hair even blacker slicked with water. She’d always known Stone the cowboy entranced her more than Stone the CEO.
But Stone nearly naked absolutely melted her.
She forced her attention back to Pearl to keep from drooling over Stone in swim trunks. Her skin prickled with awareness as he opened the porch gate and walked past her. She heard the rattle of ice as he poured a glass of sweet tea before he dropped into one of the Adirondack loungers.
“How was the water?” She released Pearl to play with the other two dogs on the fenced deck.
“Good, good.” He set his glass aside. “Everything okay with the dogs?”
They sounded like any other couple catching up at the end of the day, except there was this aching tension between them. “They all checked out fine. Just a couple of sandspurs on Pearl. I trimmed their nails, and I’ll want to bathe them all after they run on the beach again. Otherwise, they’re all set to meet their new families.”
He swung his feet around, elbows on his knees. “You’re a nurturer. It’s in your blood.”
Her hands clenched into fists to resist the urge to sweep sand from the hair on his legs. “Are you trying to needle me with the nurturer comment?”
“I’m just stating a fact. You’ll make a great mother someday.”
The humid night air grew thicker, her chest constricting. “You’re good with children. The natural way you held little T.J....I just don’t understand you.”
“I’m good with horses, too. That doesn’t mean I’m supposed to be a jockey,” he said wryly.
“I wasn’t insinuating you should be a father. You’ve been honest about your feelings on that subject. It just took me a while to stop thinking I could change your mind.” Hugging her knees, she studied him in the fading light.
“I’ve always tried to be careful that women didn’t get the wrong idea about me and wedding bells...until you.”
That should have meant something, but it only served to increase the ache. “You’re a playboy married to your work.” She exhaled hard. “I get that. Totally.”
Stone went quiet again for so long she thought they might be returning to the silent truce again. Awkward and painful.
Then Stone stood, walking to the rail and staring out at the ocean. “My father.”
Rising, she moved to stand beside him, wind pulling at the whispery cover-up over her bikini. “What do you mean?”
His father had been an off-limits topic for as long as she’d known him. Not even Mariah brought up the subject. Stone had always said that according to his mom, his paternity was a mystery. Was he opening up to her on a deeper level, including her in more than a few travel plans?
“I found out.” His voice came out hoarse and a little harsh as he continued to look out at the foaming waves.
She rested a hand on his arm tentatively, not sure how he would react but unable to deny him some comfort during what had to be a difficult revelation. “I wish you would have told me.”
“I’ve never told anyone.”
“I was supposed to be more than just ‘anyone’ to you,” she reminded him softly.
He glanced sideways at her. “Touché.”
“Did you hire a private investigator?”
“Don’t you think my grandmother already tried that hoping to find someone who actually wanted me around?”
His words snapped her upright in shock. “Your grandmother loves you.”
“I know that. I do,” he said with certainty. “But she’d already brought up her kids. She was supposed to be my grandmother. Not my parent.”
“Did she tell you that?” She knew full well Mariah never would have said anything of the sort to Stone. Johanna just wanted to remind him of how very much his grandmother loved him.
“She didn’t have to say it.” He went silent for the length of two rolling waves crashing to the shore. “When I was eleven, I found the private detective’s report of her search for my biological father.”
“Of course she would want to know everything about you. Perhaps she was worried that he might try to take you away. Did you ever consider that?” When he didn’t answer, she continued, “You said she didn’t find him. So how did you locate him?”
“The report uncovered a wealth of data about my mother’s activities then.” His face went darker. “Suffice it to say, my mother led quite an active party life.”
“That reflects on her.” She squeezed his arm. “Not on you.”
“I understand that.” He braced his shoulders, his eyes cold with an anger Johanna knew wasn’t directed at her. “I’m not a drug addict like my mother. And while I’m not a monk, I’m monogamous during a relationship. I am my own man. I control myself and my destiny.”
She rubbed soothing circles along his arm. Even if this conversation wouldn’t change things between them, she knew he needed to get these words out and for some reason she was the person he trusted most to tell.
She drew in a bracing breath of salty air before continuing, “How did you find out about your father?”
“My mother told me.”
“That simple?”
“Apparently so. She was high at the time and to this day doesn’t remember telling me.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I was twenty-five when she let it slip about the man who fathered me—Dale Banks.”
Johanna gasped in recognition. “The Dale Banks? The country music star?”
“My mom was a groupie back in the day.” He shrugged. “She hooked up with him and here I am.”
She studied his features with a new perspective. Wind whipped her hair over her face, and she scraped the locks aside. “You do look a little like him. I never noticed until now....”
“I needed more reassurance than a look-alike contest. So I confronted him.”
“How did you get past his security guards?”
“I have influence of my own.” He smiled darkly. “Remember the benefit concert we sponsored a few years back?”
She did the quick math and realized Stone would have been in his mid-twenties then. She couldn’t imagine how difficult that meeting must have been. “You arranged that to speak with him?”
“I’m not above using philanthropy for my own good, as well.”
“You don’t need to be sarcastic to cover your emotions.” She slid her hand to his back and tucked her body to his side as if it was the most natural thing in the world to share his burdens. And it was. She drew in the heat and salty scent of him, her senses starved after months without him. “That had to have been difficult for you, confronting him.”
“I didn’t. I got a DNA sample during dinner.”
“What?” She looked up sharply, unable to believe she’d heard him correctly. “You tricked him?”
“Easier than forcing the matter with a conversation where he denied it and I had to prove him a liar.”
He didn’t fool her for a second with this blasé act.
“What did he say when you finally told him?”
“He doesn’t know. Why should he? He slept with a woman he didn’t know and didn’t care enough to follow up.”
“Stone!” She cupped his face and made him look at her. “Maybe he’s changed. Perhaps he has regrets and would like to know you now.”
“I don’t need him in my life,” he said in a cold tone that left no room for negotiation.
“Maybe he needs you,” she suggested. “People are so much more important than money or fame.”
“That’s right. You grew up poor but loved,” he said sarcastically.
Again, he didn’t fool her. She patted his cheek just a touch harder than a love tap. “Don’t be a jerk.”
“Maybe I’m letting my real side show.” He turned his face to kiss her palm, then nipped it gently.
She wouldn’t let him divert her with sex. She slipped her hand back down to his shoulder. “How did we spend so much time together and never talk about these things?”
“You were right in saying I was holding back.”
She couldn’t believe he’d admitted it. “Why are you telling me now? And please be truthful.”
“I’m not really sure.” He snagged a strand of her hair and stroked the length with gentle pressure. “Maybe because there’s nothing left to lose between us. You’ve already ditched me. Why bother working my ass off to impress you?”
“You were working to impress me?” She couldn’t resist smiling.
“Clearly, I failed.” He looped the lock around his finger until he cupped the back of her head.
“Not totally.” She stepped closer, unable to resist the sizzle, especially not combined with the vulnerability he’d shown in sharing what he’d found out about his father. “I did agree to marry you.”
She arched up on her toes and kissed him. How could she not? Her body ached to be with him. They were two consenting adults, alone together, attached to no one else and both so very aware of the price of being together.
His arms banded around her, thick, muscled arms that held her with such gentle power she leaned closer until her breasts pressed to the hard bare wall of his chest. His mouth tasted of the salty ocean and sweet tea, a heady combination for a woman already teetering on the edge of losing control.
She sketched along the hard planes of his back, still damp from his swim and perspiration. So many nights she’d lain awake yearning to be with him again and now those restless fantasies were coming to life. Being away from home gave her the freedom to act on those impulses.
Stone caressed down her back to her hips, molding her closer to him, his arousal pressing against her stomach.
“Johanna,” he groaned against her mouth. “You’re killing me here. If you want to stop, we need to put the brakes on this now. It’s up to you what happens next. How are we going to handle this attraction that’s tearing us both apart?”
She dipped her hands into his swim trunks. “We’re going to sleep together again. Tonight.”
