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Chapter Eight Plans for the Future

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Lin and Jill both telephoned on Monday morning for updates on the weekend. I was able to say that the visits had gone very well and I outlined what we’d done. Lin thanked me and said that Debbie was in court on another case for most of the week and she’d be in touch when she had a moment, but in the meantime she’d keep her updated. When I spoke to Jill she said, ‘Good luck, Cathy. You’ve got a busy couple of weeks coming up. You know where I am if you need me.’

‘Thanks, Jill.’

I’d written a simplified version of the timetable of introduction for Alex and had pinned it to the cork board on his bedroom wall so that each morning he knew what was happening that day, and he could tick it off at night. The telephone call on Monday from his family was a little laboured to begin with. Alex hadn’t had much experience of using a telephone and answered his mother’s questions politely, but with one word, so it made conversation a little difficult.

‘Have you had a good day at school?’ she asked.

‘Yes,’ Alex replied.

‘Have you had your dinner?’

‘Yes,’ Alex said.

‘Did you eat it all?’

‘Yes.’

It was similar when Edward spoke to him. Edward asked Alex which subjects he liked best at school and he said, ‘Games.’ Edward followed it through by asking which games in particular he enjoyed and Alex said, ‘Football.’ And so it continued. But it didn’t matter that the conversation was a little awkward, as this call would still achieve its purpose: to maintain and develop the bond that was starting to form between Alex and his new family, and which would gather momentum towards the date when he moved in.

However, conversation became easier when it was James’s turn to talk to Alex. Alex visibly relaxed, and after they’d both said hi Alex asked James if he’d made any more robots. James said no because he had homework to do. I was sitting beside Alex on the sofa during the call, and he replied that he had homework too – reading and science. They then spent some time discussing the ills of homework and how it should be banned so they could play all evening at robots and similar. Eventually James said he had to go and practise his violin, and Rosemary came on the line again to say goodnight to Alex. When they’d finished Alex passed the phone to me and Rosemary said she was pleased James and Alex had had a good chat, and then confirmed the arrangements for the following evening – that they would be with me at about 5.30 for dinner and would stay approximately two hours. Rosemary apologized that she still couldn’t say for definite that Edward would be joining us, but he would do his best to leave work early.

On Tuesday morning Alex was so excited that his mummy, daddy and brother were coming again that it was no surprise he told his teacher. At the end of school she came out to see me in the playground.

‘Alice Cork,’ she said. ‘We met briefly before.’

‘Yes.’

‘Alex has been telling me all about his new family. He’s so excited. His social worker spoke to our Head and I understand he’ll be able to stay with us for the rest of the term.’

‘Yes, that’s right. You’ll meet Rosemary, his mum, next week when she collects him from school.’

‘I’ll look forward to it. Well, I just wanted to say have a good evening. You can tell me about it tomorrow,’ she said, smiling at Alex.

We said goodbye and she went over to speak to another parent while Alex, Paula and I began across the playground.

‘It was all right to tell her, wasn’t it?’ Alex asked me.

‘Yes, of course, love. It’s your news, you can tell who you like.’

‘I told one of my friends, but he wasn’t really pleased, not like Miss. He said it was sad that I couldn’t live with my proper mummy, but he doesn’t understand, does he?’

‘No, he doesn’t,’ I agreed, ‘but Miss Cork will.’ I thought it must be virtually impossible for a young child brought up by loving parents to comprehend why Alex would be excited when he would never see his birth mother again. Whereas his teacher would have some experience of children, like Alex, who’d been neglected or abused by their birth family.

On the way to collect Adrian from school Alex asked me if I thought his dad would be able to come to dinner this evening with his mum and James. I had to say I didn’t know but that I hoped so. He asked me again when we arrived home and I could only give him the same reply. He was still very excited and I settled the boys at the table to do their homework while I made dinner, as they wouldn’t have time to do it after Alex’s family had left. When they’d finished they went to play and I laid the table ready for dinner. As 5.30 approached – the time they were due to arrive – Alex began to grow nervous again, which was understandable. When the doorbell rang he fled upstairs, saying he was going to hide in his bedroom and they could find him. Adrian went up with him, which left Paula and me to answer the front door.

‘Great. You’ve made it,’ I said, pleased to see Edward. ‘Alex will be glad.’

‘It was a rush but this is too important to miss,’ Edward said, coming in and kissing my cheek. He was wearing his office suit but had taken off his tie.

‘Hello, poppet,’ Rosemary said to Paula, patting her head. She grinned shyly.

‘Alex and Adrian are hiding,’ I said to James. ‘Perhaps you’d like to find them? Upstairs, turn right and Alex’s room is on the left.’

James ran upstairs while I showed Rosemary and Edward through to the living room. ‘How has Alex been?’ Rosemary asked.

‘Very excited and a little nervous. He’s been telling his teacher all about his new family. She’s lovely. You’ll meet her next week.’

‘I’m looking forward to it. Miss Cork, isn’t it?’

‘That’s right.’

‘Something smells good,’ Edward said, collapsing into an armchair. ‘I didn’t have time for lunch.’

‘Edward!’ Rosemary said, lightly chastising him.

‘It should be ready soon,’ I said. ‘It’s chicken casserole. I’ll check on it.’

‘Can I help you?’ Rosemary offered.

‘It’s OK. There’s nothing much to do. Make yourself comfortable.’ I offered them a drink but they both declined.

Paula came with me into the kitchen, where I kept her away from the oven as I checked the casserole, which was ready. A couple of minutes later I went into the hall and called everyone for dinner. The boys, who were still upstairs, stampeded down like a herd of elephants.

‘Hello, love,’ Rosemary said to Alex, greeting him in the hall. ‘How are you?’

‘Hungry,’ Alex said.

Edward laughed. ‘So am I.’

‘Me too,’ Adrian and James agreed.

I showed them to the table and then served the meal. To begin with all that could be heard was the sound of cutlery on china.

Sometimes it can be a little awkward eating with people you hardly know, and while the adults might have felt this, the children were relaxed in each other’s company and ate and talked without reservation. Edward just ate – he clearly was hungry – while Rosemary and I made polite conversation, and Paula stared at our guests, fascinated, and had to be reminded to eat. Once the boys had finished we excused them from the table and they went into the living room to play while Edward had a second helping. Although this evening was about Alex continuing to get to know and bond with his family, it was important that we kept the atmosphere as relaxed and natural as possible, so it would have been unwise to insist that Alex spent every single minute in the company of his parents.

When Edward had finished eating, Rosemary helped me clear away the dishes and then we returned to the table to talk. Paula was content to sit on my lap listening and watching us. Edward told us a bit about his work and also that they’d just booked a holiday for the spring break to Disney World in Florida.

‘James and Alex will love that,’ I said.

Rosemary nodded. ‘James has been before, but he wants to go again. And I know Alex hasn’t been abroad at all.’

‘No, he hasn’t. What’s happening about a passport for him?’ I asked, aware that obtaining one can be an issue and takes time for looked-after children.

‘Debbie is applying for it,’ Rosemary said.

‘Good.’

‘Do you think it’s all right to tell Alex he is going?’ Rosemary asked.

‘Yes. I don’t see why not. It’s nice to have something to look forward to. He’ll be so excited.’

As it turned out there was no need for Rosemary or Edward to tell Alex about the holiday as James, brimming with the news, had told him. When I called the boys for pudding the first thing Adrian said was, ‘Mum! Alex is going to Disney World.’

‘I know, isn’t he lucky?’ But I felt a little sad for Adrian, as a trip to Disney World was something John and I had talked about doing before he left, and there was little chance of that happening now.

Everyone enjoyed the crumble and custard, and once we’d finished we all went into the living room where Alex set out his football board game. He, his parents, James and Adrian played while I kept Paula amused with her toys. It was nearly her bedtime now and she was becoming a little fractious, but, as I’d said to Rosemary, this introductory period would disrupt all our routines.

They had two rounds of the football game and it was just after 7.30 when I saw them to the door. ‘We’ll phone you tomorrow,’ Rosemary told Alex. ‘Then on Thursday we’re taking you out for dinner.’ Alex threw her a really warm, appreciative smile. ‘Would you like a hug?’ she asked him.

He nodded and, delighted, Rosemary gave him a hug, and then Edward shook his hand. As they left I could tell by their faces that they, too, felt the evening had been a great success. Alex had taken another step closer to his family and before long they would all be together. He would have his forever family and Rosemary and Edward the son they so dearly wanted.

As it was close to Adrian’s and Alex’s bedtimes I took the boys up to bed at the same time as I took Paula, and then left them to get ready while I put Paula to bed. She fell asleep almost immediately. I was pleased that Edward had managed to come this evening, as I knew it would mean a lot to Alex. As I tucked him into bed that night he said, ‘Dad left work early so he could see me. That shows how much he loves me.’

‘It does,’ I said, smiling.

‘I think he’s going to be a good dad, don’t you?’

‘Yes. I’m sure he will be.’

‘And Mummy will be a good mummy and James a good brother. I’m so happy.’

‘So am I.’

The introductions continued. Alex’s family telephoned on Wednesday evening and then took him out to dinner on Thursday. They went to a little bistro I suggested in our high street and had an enjoyable time. On Friday morning Jill and Lin telephoned for updates and I was able to tell them everything was going well and to plan. They were obviously pleased, although this was no more than they’d expected. Alex was ripe for a permanent family and this family was a good match for him. On Friday, following the timetable, I left Alex at his new home for two hours, where he had dinner, and I took Adrian and Paula for something to eat in the neighbouring town, as there wasn’t time to go home. We returned as arranged to collect Alex at 7.30 and Paula slept in the car on the way home while Alex told Adrian about his evening. I listened as I drove and it all seemed to be positive. He and James had played and then the family, including Edward, had eaten together – lasagne, which Alex had enjoyed. After dinner Alex had watched James do his violin practice, which he had to do every evening, but he said it sounded a bit ‘squeaky’.

Saturday was a really big day for Alex, as he was spending his first night at his new home, so I carefully packed his overnight bag. He wasn’t at all apprehensive and was looking forward to sleeping in his new bed. He chose his soft toy, Simba, to take with him, which he was happy to leave there for next time. As per the timetable we were due to arrive at about 11 a.m. Adrian and Paula came with me, but they understood that we wouldn’t stay for long. Alex wanted to show Adrian his bedroom, so we popped in for a quarter of an hour only and then said goodbye. With nothing planned for the afternoon I made an impromptu visit to my parents, who were surprised and pleased to see us. We stayed for tea.

On Sunday we woke to a very light covering of snow – pretty but not deep enough to do anything with other than make footprints. The children and I went out into the garden for a while after breakfast, then had to leave to collect Alex for eleven o’clock. By the time we arrived a wintry sun sat in a cloudless sky and the snow had melted. Churchwell, their village, surrounded by countryside, was idyllic – quintessentially English, as you would see on a picture postcard – but remote. There wasn’t even a village shop. Alex was tired and kept yawning, as he and James had stayed up late. Rosemary said she’d made it clear to them that this was a treat and once Alex had moved in they would be keeping to regular bedtimes, apart from weekends, when there was no school in the morning. We all said goodbye, I put Alex’s overnight bag in the boot of the car and his family waved us off. In the car Alex told us his dad and James were going cycling now the snow had gone and he was looking forward to going with them once he’d moved in – in a little over a week’s time.

‘Great,’ I said. ‘That sounds good. Did you remember to leave Simba on your bed?’

‘Yes, but I hid him under the covers. James doesn’t have soft toys. He’s says they’re for little boys.’

I glanced at him in the mirror. ‘Alex, there is no need to feel embarrassed about taking a toy to bed with you.’ He met my gaze but didn’t reply. ‘James was nice to you, wasn’t he?’

‘Yes. We had to play what he wanted all the time, but I didn’t mind.’

Alex was used to living with other children (from being in care) and therefore had experience of sharing and taking turns, while James had been an only child, so sharing, especially at home, could be a learning curve for him.

‘You don’t always have to play what James wants,’ I said, glancing at him again in the mirror. ‘Shall I mention it to your mum?’

‘No. I can tell her if I want,’ Alex said easily. ‘She’s nice. She said if I had any problems I should tell her. But it’s not a problem.’

‘OK. See how it goes then. But remember to tell her if there is anything at all worrying you.’ It was important that Alex knew he could confide in her if necessary.

‘Yes, I will,’ he said.

School for Alex the following week was just an irritating interruption in between the times he saw his family or spoke to them on the phone. They dominated his thoughts and conversation as he eagerly awaited the next time he could see or speak to them. And when he wasn’t talking about the next time he would see them he was reminiscing about the last time. On Monday the telephone conversation with his family was much easier and it flowed; he was talking to them for over half an hour. Then on Tuesday, straight after school, I took him to his new home for dinner. It was when I had to make a journey like this on a cold, dark evening that I really felt being a single parent. Had my husband still been living with us he would have most likely looked after Adrian and Paula so they could stay at home in the warm and have dinner rather than going out again. Thankfully, Adrian’s homework didn’t have to be given in the following day, and he was good enough not to complain about losing his evening. I think he appreciated there was little alternative.

While Alex was with his family I took Adrian and Paula to eat in the neighbouring town again, and then had to drive back along the poorly lit, unfamiliar country lanes with a frost settling. I was relieved when we were all safely home.

On Wednesday morning Alex took his overnight bag into school with him, as Rosemary would be collecting him that afternoon and taking him home. Adrian and Paula came with me to the school office that morning, as I wanted to check that the school knew of the arrangements. They did, and the school secretary suggested that Alex left his bag in the office for safekeeping. We said goodbye to him and that we would see him the next day, and he ran off happily to breakfast club. The secretary smiled.

Shortly after I’d returned home from taking Adrian to school, Debbie, who had now finished the court case she’d been attending, telephoned for an update. I said that everything was still going well. She confirmed that Rosemary would collect Alex from school again on Friday, when he would spend the weekend at his new home, and then I would collect him on Sunday afternoon. Sunday night would be his last with us, as he moved on Monday. Debbie said she’d spoken to the Head of Alex’s school, so his teacher was aware of these arrangements and that Alex would be having Monday off. She thanked me for all I was doing and said to phone if I needed anything.

With Rosemary collecting Alex from school that afternoon there was less rushing around for me as I just had Adrian to collect, although once home Alex’s absence was obvious. He hadn’t been with us for long but he was such a dear little chap and had fitted so easily into our family that it felt as if he had been with us for much longer. He would be dearly missed.

The following day, Thursday, when I collected Alex from school, he came out with his overnight bag and looked at me, slightly puzzled. ‘Where’s Mum?’ he asked.

‘She’s at her house. Did you think she was going to meet you?’ He nodded. ‘I know it’s a bit confusing, but not for much longer. You’re coming back with me tonight and then your mum will collect you tomorrow and every day after that.’

He smiled, and Paula, pleased to see him, threw her arms around him and gave him a big hug.

Jill telephoned shortly after we arrived home, having spoken to Debbie. She said they’d agreed that it would make sense if Rosemary stopped by my house on her way to collect Alex from school the following day (Friday) and took his overnight bag and also some of his other belongings, including his bike, so they didn’t have it all to move on Monday. It would also help Alex to feel more at home, as he was spending the whole weekend there. Debbie had cleared this with Rosemary and I said I’d have Alex’s belongings ready. Jill wished us a pleasant weekend, and once I’d finished talking to her I told Alex what was happening. He was very happy that his bike was going. ‘I’ll be able to ride it at the weekend,’ he said. And I felt guilty that he hadn’t had a chance to ride his bike while he’d been with me as I’d originally said, but we’d been so busy there really hadn’t been an opportunity.

When his family telephoned that evening much of his conversation with James was about riding their bikes and other things they were planning to do at the weekend: two boys on a big adventure. Edward wasn’t home from work, so just James and his mother spoke to Alex. Rosemary also spoke to me and confirmed she’d stop by around 2.30 p.m. the next day for some of Alex’s belongings.

The following morning Alex was beside himself with excitement at the thought of spending the whole weekend with his family and going for a bike ride. Adrian was looking a bit envious, so I told him that if the weather was good we would take his bike to the park.

‘Perhaps my dad could take me bike riding?’ Adrian said, which stung me as such comments always did.

‘You could ask him,’ I said. ‘Although he took his bike with him when he moved.’ When he went to live with his secretary, I thought but didn’t say. ‘You do other nice things when he takes you out,’ I added. ‘And when Paula is older the three of us could go bike riding.’ But I doubted this would make up for not going with his father.

We took Alex to school that morning, and as we said goodbye we wished him a nice weekend. The next time we would see him would be Sunday afternoon (before his move on Monday) and I was planning a special goodbye tea. When children have been with the same foster carer for some time it’s usual to give them a little goodbye party, but Alex had only been with me a few weeks and had never met my parents, brother or my friends, so it seemed more appropriate that it was just us. I would buy him a leaving present and card the following day and make his last evening with us special. Goodbyes are always difficult, but thankfully Alex, like many of the children I’d fostered, was leaving us to go to a loving forever home, so there was plenty to be happy about.

When Rosemary arrived that afternoon I had Alex’s cases, some of his toys – in the boxes – and his bike ready in the hall. Rosemary was surprised he had so much, especially when I said there was as much if not more again, which I would pack ready for Monday.

‘I always thought that foster children didn’t own many possessions,’ she said as we loaded her car. This was a mistake many people made and I explained to her that while this was sometimes true when a child first came into care, once they’d been in care a while they had as much as any other child – sometimes even more, as the carer made up for what they’d missed.

‘I see,’ Rosemary said. ‘I’ll have to explain that to James. I told him he’d have to let Alex have some of his toys, but really there’s no need.’

‘No, but it’s still nice to share.’

‘Oh yes, I’ve already told James that.’

Rosemary didn’t stay for a coffee, as she wanted to leave in plenty of time to collect Alex from school. Paula and I saw her off at the door and then I had to try to explain to Paula why Rosemary was taking Alex’s belongings: that she was his mummy now and Alex was happy he was going to live with his new family on Monday. But of course it was impossible for a small child to understand and she slipped her hand into mine and said, ‘My mummy.’

‘Yes, I’m your mummy forever and ever.’

Nobody’s Son: Part 2 of 3: All Alex ever wanted was a family of his own

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