Читать книгу Please Don’t Take My Baby - Cathy Glass, Cathy Glass - Страница 12

The rest of the night was quiet, and indeed no sound came from Jade’s room the following morning while Adrian, Paula and I got up, had breakfast and then left for school. I was pleased Jade had cooperated the night before, although I appreciated I might have to deal with the same issue again, as teenagers have notoriously short memories when it comes to requests they’d rather not comply with. I also knew teenagers liked their sleep and can sleep all day if they are allowed to, so I was anticipating having to wake Jade when I returned home from taking Paula to school.

To my amazement as I let myself into the hall I heard music coming from the radio in the kitchen and the sound of someone cooking. I slipped off my coat and shoes and hooked them on the hall stand, and then went into the kitchen. Jade was washed and dressed and, having found the largest frying pan, was cooking herself a full English breakfast: fried eggs, bacon, sausages, fried bread and baked beans.

‘Good morning,’ I said brightly.

I could see she’d already had cereal because her bowl with residue milk, the spoon, the open canister of sugar, the open packet of cereal and the four-pint carton of milk were all still on the work surface, together with the butter, a loaf of bread, a carton of eggs, a packet of bacon, a can of baked beans, a bag of frozen sausages, a mug of tea and a carton of juice which clearly Jade had struggled to open, as it was standing in a large puddle of its contents.

‘That smells good,’ I said.

Jade had her back to me and was concentrating on the frying pan, and she didn’t turn or answer. It was then I saw she was wearing earphones. I switched off the radio, which seemed superfluous to her needs, and going over lightly touched her arm.

She turned with a small start, removed one earphone and beamed. ‘Hi! Aren’t you proud of me? I got up without being told, had a bath and hair wash, and now I’m doing me own breakfast to save you the trouble.’

‘Excellent,’ I said. I wondered if Jade was also going to save me the trouble of clearing up after her, but I knew enough of teenagers to know that was doubtful. At least she was up and not lazing in bed. I was pleased with her. ‘Would you like a hairdryer?’ I asked, seeing her hair was damp.

‘Nah, it’ll go frizzy. I leave it to dry,’ she said, turning the sausages in the pan.

‘If you’ve finished with these I’ll put them back in the fridge so we can use them again,’ I said. I began gathering together the butter, milk, eggs, sausages, etc., which needed to be kept in the fridge. ‘And Jade, love, can I suggest you turn down the gas a little? When the fat splatters that much and you see blue smoke coming from the pan it usually means the fat is a little too hot.’

‘Oh, yeah, sure,’ she said, jigging in time to the music coming through the one earpiece. I opened the small window to stop the smoke alarm going off.

Satisfied that the house wasn’t going to burn down and Jade had everything she needed, I thought it best to leave her to finish cooking her breakfast. I didn’t want her to feel I was watching or criticizing her. I knew teenagers hated being watched and can easily feel they are being ‘picked on’. In fact I was surprised at just how much I did know about teenagers, even though it was some years since I’d fostered one – knowledge gained from foster-care training and friends’ teenagers, I suppose.

‘I’ll fetch your empty holdall from your room so it’s ready for us to take with us later,’ I called to Jade as I left the kitchen and went upstairs.

‘Sure,’ she returned amicably.

Going into Jade’s bedroom I picked up the duvet, pink leggings, T-shirt and soft toys from the floor and returned them to the bed, although I stopped short of making the bed – Jade could do that. I then picked up the holdall and, leaving it on the landing, went round to my bedroom to collect the empty suitcase that I kept on top of my wardrobe; we’d take both cases with us. As I did, I passed the open door of the bathroom. I knew teenagers weren’t renowned for their tidiness or for clearing up after themselves but how one person could use so many towels and products I’d no idea. I also wondered how hot Jade had had the water, for the bathroom was like a sauna, with water running down the window, mirrors and wall tiles. I opened the bathroom window; I screwed the tops back on the shower gel, bubble bath, shampoo, conditioner, body lotion and toothpaste; and then I mopped up the puddle of water by the bath so that it didn’t seep through to the ceiling below. It was Jade’s first morning and I wouldn’t start nagging her about clearing up, although I now appreciated some of the discussions that had taken place at the foster-carer support-group meetings between carers who fostered teenagers.

I took the case and holdall downstairs and left them ready in the hall. As I did, Jade’s voice called from the kitchen: ‘Cathy! I’ve made you a mug of tea.’

‘That’s kind of you, love,’ I said, going into the kitchen.

Jade had finished cooking and was now seated at the table in the dining area and tucking into her cooked breakfast. She’d set a mug of tea for me in the place opposite her and I sat down. ‘Thanks, love,’ I said again.

‘Would you like something to eat?’ she asked, waving her fork at her plate of food, which did look appetizing, apart from the river of grease and tomato sauce. ‘We can share it if you like.’

‘It’s all right, love. You enjoy it. I had my breakfast earlier with Paula and Adrian.’

‘Have they gone to school now?’ she asked, eating and making conversation.

‘Yes.’

‘They’re nice kids,’ she said. ‘I hope my mum’s got someone to take my brothers and sisters to school.’

‘I’m sure she has,’ I reassured her. ‘We’ll check with Rachel when we speak to her later.’

Jade nodded. She clearly loved her brothers and sisters very much and felt responsible for them. I thought she’d probably had too much responsibility, although I could see how that had happened, with her mother being a single parent and working unsociable hours. Clearly Jade’s help would be missed and I wondered if her mother, Jackie, now regretted their argument and throwing Jade out.

Once Jade had finished eating, I suggested she got ready while I cleared up the kitchen. She didn’t object.

It took Jade over an hour to get ready, slightly longer than it took me to clear up after her in the kitchen. I’m not sure why it took her so long, as she was already washed and dressed; perhaps she was texting. I didn’t nag her to hurry up. During that time Jill phoned and asked if everything was all right, and I confirmed it was and gave her an update. She said I should call her if I needed anything; otherwise she’d phone me again later in the week. Once I had cleared up in the kitchen I went through to the sitting room and made a note of Jade’s home address, which I then looked up on a map to make sure I knew where we were going. When Jade finally appeared I checked with her to make sure she had her front-door key, and she pulled it from her pocket, together with some loose change, her mobile phone, and some chewing gum and sweet wrappers.

‘Can I have a key to this house?’ she asked, as we picked up the case and I opened the front door.

‘Will you need one?’ I asked, uncertain if it was necessary.

‘Yeah, I’ll need one,’ she said. ‘Supposing we’re both out and I come back first. I won’t be able to get in.’

I nodded. I could see her point, although I couldn’t imagine she’d be out very often while she was so heavily pregnant. It was as much as she could do to get out of an armchair or go upstairs.

‘All right. I’ll get a key cut the next time I’m in town,’ I said.

‘We could go after we’ve been home and got me things,’ Jade said as we got into the car.

Perhaps I should have heard alarm bells ringing, telling me that Jade was a little too eager to obtain a front-door key, but I didn’t. I agreed we’d get a key cut after we’d been to her house, and I reversed the car off the driveway with Jade taking a call from Tyler, which continued throughout the thirty-minute journey and only stopped when we arrived on her estate and I asked her where I should park.

Jade carried the holdall and I carried the suitcase, as I followed her down the series of short walkways that linked the estate. It was a modern estate of low-rise social housing with pedestrian-only access to the fronts of the houses and flats. Jade’s house was in the middle of a terrace. There was a large communal green and the front door was like most of the others on the estate: the same style and painted a similar blue. I waited to one side as Jade unlocked the door and then I followed her into a small square hall, which was full of children’s outdoor toys. This led into the living room, the one main room downstairs, and it contained more toys, a long low sofa, a glass-topped coffee table, some bean bags and a large plasma-screen television. Although the room was full of children’s things, it was clean and as tidy as you were likely to make it with four young children. I felt a bit uncomfortable being in Jade’s home when her mother was out, as though I was snooping.

‘Come up with me,’ Jade said, crossing the room to the open-plan carpeted staircase that led off the far side. ‘You can help me get my things.’

I went over and began up the stairs behind her. We were about halfway up when Jade suddenly stopped and exclaimed: ‘Mum! What are you doing here?’

I looked up at the woman now standing at the top of the stairs, who was fastening her dressing-gown cord.

‘I could ask you the same,’ she said, beginning down the stairs.

‘I’ve come to get me things,’ Jade said tersely.

The stairs weren’t wide enough for us to pass, especially with the holdall and suitcase Jade and I were carrying, so I turned and went downstairs. Jade did the same and her mother followed us into the sitting room, where there was an awkward silence.

‘I’m Cathy, Jade’s foster carer,’ I said after a moment, smiling at Jackie.

‘Hello,’ she said. ‘Jackie. Jade’s mother.’

I knew from the placement forms that Jackie was in her mid-thirties; she was about five feet six inches tall with highlighted hair. She was an attractive woman even without make-up and I could see a strong family likeness to Jade.

‘Why aren’t you at work?’ Jade asked, quite rudely.

‘I had a migraine,’ Jackie said, touching her forehead.

‘Are you all right now?’ I asked, concerned, for she looked pale.

‘Not too bad,’ she said; then she added pointedly, looking at Jade: ‘Thanks for asking.’

‘Who took the kids to school?’ Jade asked, or rather demanded.

‘Me. Who else?’ Jackie retorted.

‘Are you alone?’ Jade said, glancing up the stairs. From which I assumed Jackie’s boyfriend stayed sometimes and Jade didn’t approve.

‘I said I was ill, didn’t I?’ Jackie snapped back.

‘It hasn’t stopped you before,’ Jade said, scathingly.

‘You little cow!’ Jackie flared. ‘How dare you criticize me! Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? At least your father married me!’

Jade flinched at this remark, which seemed to have continued from a previous argument. I had the feeling that Jade and Jackie viewed each other as equals rather than mother and daughter; there was an undercurrent of unhealthy rivalry in their exchange.

‘I’m going to get me things,’ Jade said. Grabbing both cases, she stormed off towards the stairs. ‘You coming?’ she demanded of me.

‘You go ahead,’ I said. ‘And make a start with the packing while I speak to your mother.’ Jade huffed and stomped off upstairs.

I wanted to try to establish a relationship with Jackie; and also going with Jade now could have appeared to Jackie I was siding with her daughter.

‘Don’t believe what she tells you about me!’ Jade shouted from upstairs. ‘She never wanted me! But don’t worry, I’m not coming back!’ We heard her bedroom door slam.

Jackie’s eyes immediately filled.

‘Are you all right?’ I asked gently, touching her arm.

She nodded and, taking a tissue from her dressing-gown pocket, blew her nose. ‘We’ve always clashed,’ she said, sitting on the sofa. ‘But it’s unbearable now. I did my best for her and what do I get in return? She ends up pregnant and hating me. After all the warnings and talks I’ve given her and she’s done exactly what I did.’ She gave a long, heartfelt sigh.

I sat on the sofa next to her, for clearly she wanted to tell me more.

‘I told Jade right at the start to have an abortion,’ Jackie continued. ‘But she wouldn’t. She called me a cold-hearted bitch. She says she wants to keep the baby, but I’ve been a teenage mum and it wasn’t easy and I had a husband. I can’t look after Jade and the baby. I barely cope as it is.’ Jackie blew her nose again as fresh tears fell.

‘Of course you can’t be expected to look after Jade and the baby,’ I said. ‘You’ve got enough bringing up your younger children. Now the social services are involved with Jade they’ll help. Your children are lovely,’ I said, glancing at the school photographs on the wall. ‘You’re doing a good job.’

‘Thanks,’ Jackie said, wiping her eyes. ‘I love Jade as I love my other kids, although she doesn’t think so now. I want to help her but I’m not in any position to. She can’t stay with you, can she?’

‘No. She’ll be with me until the social services find her a mother-and-baby placement. Then she’ll live there and be assessed to see if she can keep the baby.’

‘Then what’s she going to live on?’ Jackie said. ‘Babies are expensive and Ty’s not going to be able to support her. What sort of life will they have?’

I fully appreciated what Jackie meant: Jade’s life as a single parent – with no job and no support other than from state benefit – was going to be an existence rather than living. My first impression of Jackie – from the referral – had been that she was uncaring and irresponsible but that wasn’t so. She loved Jade, wanted what was best for her, but couldn’t offer much support as she was struggling to cope herself.

‘I know this sounds awful but part of me hopes Jade fails the parenting assessment,’ Jackie said, her brow furrowing. ‘Then the baby can be adopted into a nice home, and Jade can get on with her life. She was supposed to be staying on at school and taking A-levels. Did you know that?’

‘Yes.’ But while I could see Jackie had her daughter’s best interests at heart I knew that if she’d said any of this to Jade it would have caused an argument. ‘I think it’s best to take this a step at a time,’ I said. ‘At present I’m concentrating on making sure Jade has a good diet, enough sleep, and attends her antenatal appointments.’

‘Ty’s not staying with you, is he?’ Jackie asked. ‘Rachel said he wasn’t allowed to, but I know how persuasive Jade can be.’

‘No. The placement is for Jade only,’ I confirmed. ‘Tyler can visit; he was with us yesterday evening. But we’ve agreed he has to leave at eight o’clock.’

Jackie nodded and looked thoughtful. ‘I let him stay here,’ she said. ‘I thought that as they were going to do it anyway it might as well be here rather than in a park or down an alleyway. I told Jade to go to the clinic for contraceptive advice but she couldn’t have done, could she? I won’t be making the same mistake with my younger kids. They won’t be having their boyfriends staying, but I’ve always given in to Jade. With her being the eldest, we’ve been more like sisters or friends than mother and daughter. I guess I liked that but it hasn’t done her any good.’

‘It’s difficult being a parent,’ I offered gently. ‘We have to make all sorts of decisions, and we learn as we go along. It’s only with hindsight that we know if we made the right decision.’

‘You can say that again!’ Jackie sighed. ‘And I’ve learnt a lot from bringing up Jade.’

I felt for Jackie and I thought she and Jade should really make it up. They needed each other more than ever now. I also felt that I’d spent long enough with Jackie and I should now go upstairs and help Jade, who would doubtless be feeling neglected and that I was talking to her mother about her. ‘Shall we both go up and give Jade a hand packing?’ I suggested.

Jackie shrugged, just as Jade did sometimes. ‘She won’t want me,’ she said despondently.

‘Let’s go and try,’ I encouraged. ‘She’s had time to cool off and you don’t want to part like this, with harsh words spoken.’

Jackie wasn’t convinced but she got off the sofa and I threw her a reassuring smile. We crossed to the foot of the staircase and I followed her up. At the top we turned right and Jackie knocked on Jade’s closed bedroom door. ‘Can we come in?’ she asked quietly.

There was no reply.

I nodded an encouragement to Jackie. She knocked again and we went in. Jade was standing by her bed, stuffing handfuls of clothes into the suitcase. She didn’t look up but I had the feeling that some of her anger had gone. Jackie clearly felt so too, for going over she said: ‘Here, let me help you with that or it’ll all need ironing.’

Jade moved away to allow her mother to pack the clothes that were strewn all over the bed, and took some more of her belongings from a drawer. I saw she had a framed photograph of her family by her bedside and I suggested she might like to bring that. Jade nodded and Jackie packed it. Satisfied that mother and daughter could be left together and thinking they needed some time alone, I went downstairs. I sat on the sofa and after a while I could hear their hushed voices, not arguing but talking, although I couldn’t hear what they were saying.

Fifteen minutes later they reappeared, Jade carrying the now bulging holdall and Jackie the suitcase. I stood as Jackie set the case by my side, and she turned to say goodbye to her daughter.

‘I’ll give you a ring, love,’ she said.

Jade nodded. I could tell from Jade’s expression that she’d partly forgiven her mother but wasn’t ready to relinquish all her grievances yet.

‘I’ve told her not to worry about the kids,’ Jackie said, looking at me. ‘Margaret, next door, is going to help me out for now. She’s in her late sixties but the kids respect her. I’ll see if I can get my hours at work changed.’

I smiled at Jackie and then looked at Jade, who wore a blank non-committal expression. Jackie slipped her arms around her daughter and hugged her, and while Jade allowed the hug she didn’t return it. I threw Jackie a reassuring smile, we said goodbye and she saw us out. As we made our way back along the walkways to the car I thought that while Jade and Jackie’s relationship wasn’t completely healed, it was a lot better than when we’d arrived and I was pleased. I was also pleased I’d had the opportunity of meeting and talking to Jackie, and it had given me a better understanding of Jade and her life before coming into care.

‘Well done,’ I said to Jade as I opened the car boot to load the cases. ‘You did well. Life’s too short to be angry and you know your mother loves you a lot.’

Jade gave a small shrug just as her mother had; indeed they shared many characteristics and mannerisms, which seemed to emphasize how close they’d once been, and I hoped they would be again.

As soon as we were in the car Jade said: ‘Are we going to town now?’

I looked at her, puzzled. ‘Why?’

‘To get the key cut for your house. You remember, you promised.’

‘Oh, yes. It slipped my mind.’

And again I should have heard alarm bells ringing at the urgency in Jade’s request, but I didn’t.