Читать книгу Cathy Kelly 6-Book Collection: Someone Like You, What She Wants, Just Between Us, Best of Friends, Always and Forever, Past Secrets - Cathy Kelly - Страница 39

On Tuesday, the movers took four hours to pack everything up, stopping only for one tea break and a packet of biscuits. They were so efficient, although when she’d phoned first thing on Monday morning to book them, she’d impressed upon them that speed was of the essence. If they thought it was odd to be hired at such short notice, nobody said anything. Probably they’d been there for many marriage break-ups, Hannah thought wryly.

She was maudlin as she remembered how happily she’d packed her belongings up seven months before, when she’d been so sure that she and Felix had a glorious future ahead of them. Now the only thing they shared was Claudia. Poor darling Claudia. Hannah had never meant her to be the product of a broken home. She knew how hard Donna had worked to look after little Tania on her own, and how tough it had been for Leonie. Single parents didn’t get an easy time. But it was better to be single and have respect for yourself than stay married and grow slowly more resentful as the years went on. It could only be good for Claudia this way. At least she’d never see her parents hating each other, having affairs in retaliation and bitching about the other one behind their back.

The moving lorry was only half-way down the road when Hannah made her final round of the house. She’d left Felix the bed, all his personal belongings, and the dining-room suite. He’d bought that. The couch, kitchen table and most of the ornaments, pictures, bookcases and table lamps had belonged to her. Michelle from next door had adopted the kitten. Hannah hadn’t thought she’d be able to manage a cat box as well as Claudia on the trip home and if she left the poor little thing, Felix would probably forget to feed it.

She rang for a taxi and twenty minutes later she was on her way to Heathrow, weighed down by two large suitcases, all Claudia’s baby paraphernalia, including her pushchair, and a rucksack. The taxi driver helped her into the cab with all her stuff, but at Heathrow, once he’d put it all on a trolley for her, she was on her own.

She remembered flying to Paris a month after Claudia had been born. It was a junket for Felix’s film, the one he’d been making in Ireland when they first met. They’d flown first class and there had been people helping all the time: the lovely stewardesses on the flight, and the film publicity people who all cooed at Claudia, petting her, asking to hold her and appearing thrilled when they were allowed to burp her. Insulated by love and helpers, Hannah had barely noticed the journey.

Today, she noticed every minute. Claudia bawled her head off during check-in and bawled even more when she caught sight of the security staff in their uniforms. Hannah’s plan to feed her and rock her to sleep for the flight receded into the distance as Claudia’s howls reverberated around the airport. Still dragging the pushchair, baby bag and rucksack, Hannah struggled along to the departure lounge where nobody wanted to hear a baby roar at the top of her voice.

‘Has Daddy been giving you lessons on projecting your voice?’ Hannah asked her daughter, when Claudia’s range extended all the way from gates 82 to 90.

She didn’t stop on the flight but continued to scream for the entire fifty-five minutes. Hannah managed to drink about a quarter of a glass of water before Claudia spilled it. ‘Please don’t cry, darling,’ Hannah begged, feeling like crying herself. This was a nightmare. Why did she think she could manage on her own? She should have phoned Leonie. She’d have flown to London to help her come home, and she’d have been there at the airport to meet her, smiling and beaming, with Doug happily by her side.

Only you had to be proud, didn’t you, Campbell? Hannah hadn’t told anyone she was coming home because she was too ashamed. Ashamed because they’d all been right and she’d been wrong. Emma had seen through Felix from the start. So had David James. Only dear blindly romantic Leonie had honestly thought true love could flower from true lust. Only Leonie and Hannah, of course. She’d fallen for that notion hook, line and sinker herself and now she had only herself to blame.

That was why she was getting a taxi to an anonymous hotel room tonight instead of spending it with her dear friends, because she was so mortally embarrassed.

As soon as the plane landed, Claudia cheered up. ‘It’s because she’s happy to be home,’ smiled the old man beside them.

‘She was born in London,’ Hannah said, relieved that Claudia had stopped crying. ‘She’s never been to Ireland before.’

‘The mother country,’ said the man fondly.

Hannah nodded, thinking that Claudia’s sudden silence was probably a combination of getting wind up and exhaustion.

After another wearying twenty minutes where at least Claudia slept, Hannah collected the luggage, piled it on to a trolley and staggered like a drunk out into the arrivals hall. Pushing the pushchair with one hand and pulling the trolley behind her with the other, she was so preoccupied with not hitting anyone, that she almost missed the tall man watching out for her anxiously.

‘Hannah! And this must be baby Claudia.’

In her astonishment, Hannah took a step backwards and crashed into another trolley.

‘Sorry,’ she muttered. David smiled at her. Wearing an ochre-coloured jacket over jeans, he looked at once both comfortingly familiar and foreign. Used to Felix’s lean sinewy body, David looked very big and solid. His salt-and-pepper hair was sleeked back and the narrow eyes were a little unsure, as if he wasn’t sure she’d be happy to see him. How wrong could you be.

‘Your mother phoned me and said you could do with being picked up from the airport,’ he said.

Hannah smiled for what felt like the first time that day.

‘Forceful lady, your mother,’ he said.

‘Incredible,’ Hannah agreed.

‘Let me.’ David took control of the trolley and steered it to the car park. They didn’t speak. Hannah, because she was too tired for conversation. At David’s car, he quickly loaded all the luggage. Hannah sat in the back with Claudia on her lap because there wasn’t a car seat. Claudia woke up and yawned. Seeing David, she smiled gummily at him.

‘Aren’t you a lovely girl,’ he said, chucking her under the chin. Claudia rewarded him with one of her beaming smiles.

‘She’s adorable,’ David said. ‘Now, are we all set?’

‘Yes,’ Hannah said. ‘I’ve booked into Jury’s Hotel.’

‘Actually, you’re booked into your friend Leonie’s,’ David said apologetically.

Hannah was dumbstruck again. ‘My mother?’ she asked.

‘If she ever needs a job, I could do with a woman with her organizational skills,’ he said.

Hannah had to laugh. ‘I suppose she’s already rung Jury’s and cancelled my booking.’

‘I wouldn’t be at all surprised,’ he agreed.

Claudia was happy. She gurgled along to the radio as they sped in the direction of Wicklow. David didn’t ask about Felix or about why Hannah had suddenly returned to Ireland without him. Her mother must have said something about her marriage breaking up, but David wouldn’t pry. He was too kind. Hannah stole a glance sideways. David’s profile wasn’t the thing of aesthetic beauty that Felix’s was. Where Felix was all long, perfect lines, like a statue of Italian marble, David was solid and unyielding, as if hewn directly from granite. There was something terribly masculine about him compared to Felix’s almost feminine beauty. And sexy; he was definitely sexy in that fiercely male way. Hannah found herself wishing she’d made more of an effort in her travelling clothes. Jeans on their third day and her scarlet woollen coat weren’t exactly exciting garments.

‘Have you spoken to Leonie?’ Hannah asked.

‘Yes. She hopes you haven’t eaten, because she’s making a huge dinner for us all.’

‘I’m sorry you got roped into all this,’ Hannah said. ‘You’ve wasted half a day already.’

‘It’s not a waste,’ David replied. He turned to smile at her and the corners of his eyes crinkled up with warmth. Hannah felt herself relax. She remembered all the wonderful times they’d laughed and joked in his office, sharing coffee and forbidden chocolate biscuits. She felt safe with David, that was it. In Felix’s company, she’d always felt as if she was standing on the edge of a glacier, ready to ski down into its vast, dangerous depths. With David, she felt protected, sheltered. Like sitting by the fire in a log cabin listening to the snow outside.

He switched the radio to a classical channel and the gentle music soon sent both Claudia and Hannah to sleep.

They awoke to the sound of Penny barking maniacally. The entire Delaney clan appeared to be waiting for them outside Leonie’s cottage, Mel looking like minxy jail bait in her school uniform, Abby slender in paint-splattered dungarees. Danny, Doug, Leonie and two other dogs, which had to be Doug’s famous Alfie and Jasper, gathered around David’s car.

‘Hannah, darling, how lovely to see you,’ cried Leonie. Hannah found herself enfolded into her friend’s welcoming arms. She breathed in the scent of Opium perfume and felt instantly at home.

‘Don’t let the dogs bark, Danny,’ ordered Leonie. ‘They’ll scare Claudia.’

But Claudia, who was being cuddled by Abby, showed no sign of nerves at the barking. Instead, she was staring wide-eyed at the three hounds, pointing her chubby fingers excitedly and then stuffing them into her mouth. When Penny attempted to sniff her dangling feet, she went into a spasm of delighted giggling.

‘She loves them, don’t you, sweetie?’ Abby crooned.

Hannah was hugged by everyone and Claudia had to be admired and told she was the most beautiful baby in the world before the procession could reach the house. A glorious aroma of cooking filled the air.

‘Doug has been making dinner,’ Leonie said proudly. ‘He does the most incredible lamb with rosemary.’

‘An artist in the kitchen as well as in the studio,’ Doug dead-panned, grabbing Leonie’s waist from behind. She laughed and leaned back in his embrace. He nuzzled her cheek and Leonie closed her eyes at the caress, utterly at peace.

Hannah felt her heart lift just looking at them. They were so happy together. Leonie’s face literally filled with joy every time she touched Doug, and he was the same. They were forever touching, small intimate gestures that telegraphed their love to the world. Happiness had taken years off Leonie too: she looked ten years younger.

Leonie had borrowed a cot for Claudia, so while she and Hannah sorted out the baby’s things, the rest of the family waited hungrily in the kitchen, clamouring for food.

‘Is it really over with Felix or is this a cooling-off period?’ Leonie asked, sitting down on the bed while Hannah changed Claudia’s nappy.

‘It’s over,’ Hannah said. ‘It probably never should have started. We were so different, I don’t know why I fell in love with him at all.’ She burst into tears again. It was so final being here. She’d left Felix. She was at home again. It was all over. She felt shocked now, like a disaster survivor when all the screaming and shouting is done.

Leonie cradled her and muttered soothing words in her ear. Eventually, Hannah stopped crying.

‘Dinner’s ready,’ called Doug.

‘About time too,’ yelled Danny.

‘I shouldn’t have organized a big dinner with everyone here,’ Leonie fretted. ‘You’re not ready for it.’

Hannah shook her head. ‘It’s just what I need, actually. I’ve got out of the habit of meeting people. Felix was always dashing off to parties and receptions. He used to bring Bill with him most of the time. I didn’t fit in. His friends weren’t my friends, it wasn’t my type of life. I miss talking to the people I love.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Leonie said. ‘I feel as if I’ve let you down. I should have visited, I should have known what you were going through…’

Claudia howled, irate at being ignored for so long. Hannah picked her up. ‘You couldn’t have done anything then, Leonie,’ she said. ‘I wasn’t happy, but I’d have stayed with Felix no matter what. It took finding him in bed with the au pair to make me wake up. What a wake-up call that was.’

Leonie was horrified.

Hannah grinned at her expression. ‘If you read about it in the paper, you wouldn’t believe it,’ she said. ‘Come on, Doug’s wonderful dinner will be cold. I’m suddenly starving. I’ll tell you the sordid details later.’

The lamb was incredible. Hannah sat beside David and ate with gusto. Claudia was passed around the table like a doll, cuddled and kissed, before being moved on to the next person. She adored all the attention, giggling coyly one minute and waving her fat little hands imperiously the next. Doug kept everyone’s glasses filled up with wine or mineral water, while Danny heaped great mounds of mashed potato on to their plates.

‘I couldn’t eat another bite, I’m stuffed,’ Hannah protested when he tried to give her a third helping.

‘I mashed it myself,’ Danny wheedled, spoon hovering. ‘It’s a special recipe.’

‘You want to see the amount of butter he puts in it,’ Abby remarked. ‘It’s fifty per cent potato and fifty per cent butter.’

‘My figure can do without butter,’ Hannah laughed, patting her belly.

‘Nonsense, you need fattening up,’ David said. ‘Wait till I have you back in the office. I’ll force feed you chocolate biscuits during our coffee sessions.’

Hannah just stared at him. ‘What do you mean?’ she said.

‘You are coming back to work with me, aren’t you?’ he asked.

‘I didn’t know…I didn’t think,’ she stammered.

‘Do you think I’m going to let some other rascally auctioneer steal you away from me?’ he said loudly. Then in a quieter voice, he said: ‘Please, Hannah. We need you…I certainly do.’

Under the table, she reached out and took his hand. He gripped hers tightly.

‘Thank you,’ she whispered.

‘Don’t thank me,’ he said softly. ‘I’m doing it for strictly selfish reasons.’

Hannah found that she couldn’t speak, so she merely held his hand under the table, only letting go when Claudia arrived back at David. ‘Hello, you scamp,’ he said, sitting her on his knee.

Claudia burped loudly then smiled at him. ‘I know what we’ll do,’ David told her. ‘You come and work for me and your mummy will come in too, to look after you. You’ll be the boss, naturally – a senior agent – and you can help Mummy with her exams.’

Claudia blew bubbles up at him.

Hannah laughed at them both. ‘Usually when she does that, she’s contemplating getting sick all over you.’

David cuddled Claudia. ‘We don’t mind, darling, do we?’

Emma arrived as they were having coffee. ‘Sorry I couldn’t make dinner,’ she said to Leonie before hugging Hannah. She took Claudia from David. ‘Isn’t she beautiful,’ she crooned. ‘Hello, Claudia, I’m your auntie Emma, your mum’s friend.’

Claudia looked surprised and then sicked up a gurgle of white goo. Emma crowed with laughter and Claudia, happy now she’d been sick, started laughing too.

‘Aren’t you gorgeous,’ Emma said. ‘She’s got your lovely hair, Hannah,’ she added.

There was obviously something going on here that she didn’t know about, Hannah thought, surprised; Emma adored children, she knew that. But she found it hard to cope with other people’s children because they reminded her so painfully of her own inability to have any. But here was Emma, laughing and giggling with Claudia, not looking strained or tearful as she held her.

‘You girls go into the sitting room and gossip,’ Doug said. ‘We’ll tidy up.’ He couldn’t resist kissing Leonie goodbye tenderly as she left.

‘Talk about lovebirds,’ teased Emma.

Leonie grinned fit to burst.

‘You’re looking pretty happy yourself,’ Hannah remarked to Emma.

It was her turn to beam. ‘Well, I have some exciting news for you, Hannah,’ Emma began. ‘Pete and I booked in for IVF treatment, we were due to start next month. I’ve been taking my folic acid and doing yoga, you name it.’ She smiled. ‘I was the best prepared, hopeful candidate in the world. And, you wouldn’t believe it…’ She paused.

Hannah waited in disbelief. Leonie was smiling, she knew whatever Emma was about to say next, obviously.

‘I’m pregnant!’ Emma said happily. ‘Six weeks, that’s all. Most people wouldn’t have noticed, I’m sure. You know me, if I’m one day late, I buy a testing kit. But I didn’t this time. I never even thought of it at first but my boobs suddenly got so incredibly sensitive. It was amazing, my own personal pregnancy tester.’

‘That’s incredible,’ Hannah said, feeling the tears of joy in her eyes. ‘I’m so delighted for you.’

‘Thank you,’ beamed Emma. ‘I know what happened. I stopped panicking about it. We were going to have IVF and it was out of our hands. I had hope. I read that lots of people conceive naturally after going through the IVF programme and not getting pregnant. It was a bit like that, really.

‘Elinor, my therapist, says I had lots of unresolved issues that were literally blocking out everything else. Once they were gone, I just got pregnant like that.’ She picked up Claudia and hugged her joyously. ‘I’m so happy, it’s fantastic. The only sad thing is that Mum will never know her first grandchild.’

They were all silent for a moment.

‘How is she?’ Hannah asked, feeling guilty because she didn’t know what had been going on in Emma’s life. She knew that Anne-Marie was much worse and that she had carers looking after her a lot of the time, but that was it.

‘She has her good days and her bad days,’ Emma said. ‘She’s on a new Alzheimer drug and it has helped her, actually. She knows who we all are and she’s much calmer, but she’s going downhill,’ she paused sadly. ‘You have to learn to deal with it. It’s heart-breaking. But I think what’s been happening makes the baby even more special. It’s like we’re slowly losing my mother but gaining another person. Death, rebirth, the whole cycle goes on and on.’

‘That sounds like the sort of thing Abby’s always saying,’ Leonie remarked.

‘You have to become a philosopher when you cope with illness,’ Emma explained. ‘Otherwise you’d go mad wondering, “Why her, why us?” You have to accept it and deal with it.’

‘I’m sorry I’ve been so out of touch with you,’ Hannah said, touching Emma’s hand gently. ‘You’ve been through so much and I wasn’t any help at all.’

Emma patted Hannah’s hand affectionately. ‘We’re friends, we’re not supposed to be joined at the hip,’ she said. ‘It was partly my fault, anyway,’ she admitted. ‘I couldn’t cope with you being pregnant with this little pet.’ She kissed the top of Claudia’s head. ‘That’s a terrible thing to have to admit, but I believe in saying what I think nowadays. Therapy,’ she pointed out, ‘is wonderful for that. The night you had Claudia, when Leonie rang me to tell me, I drank an entire bottle of red wine with misery. I felt so hopeless. So I pushed you out of my life, Hannah. I’m not proud of it but I’m going to make it up to you.’

‘You don’t have to make anything up to me,’ Hannah said genuinely. ‘But I can be of benefit to you. I’ve got some lovely maternity clothes you could borrow.’

‘I can’t wait to have to wear them,’ Emma sighed. ‘I keep turning sideways and looking at myself in the mirror to see if there’s a bump yet. I’m longing for a belly, stretch marks, you name it. I’ve waited so long for this baby. I want to exult in it.’

‘Is Pete over the moon?’ Hannah asked.

‘He’s already decorated the nursery,’ Emma grinned. ‘Only kidding! He’s bought paint, wallpaper and a Disney border, though.’

They all laughed.

‘If you want anyone to stencil an Egyptian motif in the nursery, don’t forget to ask me,’ Leonie said.

‘Of course,’ giggled Emma. ‘Nobody else knows, apart from Kirsten,’ she added. ‘We didn’t want to tell anyone until three months are up.’

‘Claudia needs friends now she’s going to be living here,’ Hannah said, taking the baby from Emma. ‘She and your little mite can be pals.’

‘If it’s a girl, they sure will be,’ Emma said fervently. ‘She’ll need her girlfriends. Where would I be without mine?’

‘Stuck in an Egyptian prison cell for murdering your father,’ teased Leonie.

‘Don’t remind me,’ Emma groaned. ‘Although he’s being very nice to me these days. Kirsten says it’s so I’ll continue doing his washing, but it’s a start.’

‘Maybe we should all go on holiday again soon,’ Leonie said thoughtfully. ‘Doug wants to go away.’

‘Italy,’ suggested Emma. ‘We could rent a house in the summer. With all of us, it would work out quite cheap. Pete and I will be economizing, I’m afraid.’

‘Me too,’ said Hannah. ‘I can’t see Felix being reliable when it comes to maintenance money for Claudia.’

‘David’s well off, isn’t he?’ said Emma archly.

Hannah scowled at her. ‘I’ve only just left my husband,’ she said, ‘don’t go setting me up with strange men. It’s a bit soon.’

Emma and Leonie exchanged glances.

‘I think I’ll ask that nice David if he fancies a holiday this year,’ Emma said. ‘Those villas are cheaper if you have lots of people going. I’m sure somebody will let him bunk down in their bedroom.’

Hannah threw a cushion at her.

‘I swear, I am never going on holiday with you two again,’ she insisted.

The next morning was sunny but the ground was frosty. The tyres of David’s car crunched on the gravel as he drove out of Leonie’s.

‘I shouldn’t be letting you do this,’ Hannah said. ‘It’s a hell of a long drive to Connemara and you’re missing more work.’

‘Four hours at the most,’ David replied, eyes on the road. ‘It’s only half eight, we’ll be there in time for lunch.’

‘That’s only the journey down. I feel terrible about this. I could have got the train,’ she said. ‘Claudia is a great traveller,’ she lied.

‘I wanted to drive you,’ David said.

‘You didn’t need to,’ she answered.

‘Hannah, why do you think I’m doing this?’ he demanded. ‘Why did I come to the airport? Because I’m crazy about you, that’s why.’

‘Stop the car,’ she commanded.

Surprised, David pulled over on to the grass verge.

Claudia, who’d been asleep in the car seat Leonie had dug out of the attic, woke up and began to bawl.

‘You get used to it,’ Hannah remarked as the wails increased. Then she leaned over and kissed David firmly on the mouth. In an instant, his arms were around her and he was kissing her back furiously. He tasted wonderful and he felt wonderful too. Different from Felix. Solid and comforting, the way she’d known he would be. His mouth was soft but not gentle, he kissed passionately, intensely. Hannah felt herself melt in response.

She pulled away reluctantly and stared at him.

‘It’s going to take time,’ she warned. ‘I’ve left Felix but he still hasn’t left me, if you know what I mean. I can’t forget about him in an instant.’

‘We can take it slowly,’ David said, eyes roaming over her face lovingly.

‘Really slowly,’ she repeated.

‘Like this.’ David pulled her into his arms again and lowered his mouth to hers. Claudia roared louder. ‘You’re right,’ he said in wonder, stopping kissing her for a moment, ‘you do get used to it.’