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Light the candle and say four times:

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I love me. I love (your name).

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Light the candle every night and repeat this love charge before bed and every morning when you arise. Your heart will lift and soar, which then will emanate outward toward the relations in your life.

New Moon, New Friends

When I moved to San Francisco, I didn’t know a soul, but I used this tried-and-true trick to fill my life with friends.

On the first Friday after a new moon (Freya’s Day, which is ruled by Venus, is ideal for fun, love, flirtation, gossip, and good times), light amber incense. Anoint yourself with amber oil and dance around, arms flung out and upward. Say aloud:

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I call upon you, friend Freya,

to fill my life with live and joy. I call upon you, Goddess,

to bring unto me that which I enjoy

in the form of people, wise and kind.

This I ask and give thanks for; blessed be.

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Ask a God to Send Your Love Note

The god Mercury prevails over communication, speed, mental clarity, and fun. Traditionally, he also escorts the dead to the afterlife. All things yellow and citrus can bring forth Mercury’s bright presence, which will help you in all your interactions with friends or potential friends. Try these surefire ways to make contact.

On a Wednesday, burn three yellow candles. Anoint yourself and the candles with lemon and neroli oil. Meditate on the flame and breathe deeply, filling your lungs with the fiery citrus scent. Holding both hands out, palms up, say:

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Messenger of the gods,

bring me your news.

Tonight, in this fire and flame,

tell me the place and the name.

Mercury, messenger and god,

I will listen for your word on the wing.

Blessed be, to thee and me.

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Now, you can either go to sleep with your dream journal nearby, or you can close your eyes and take up your pen for “automatic writing,” allowing your hand and wrist to relax until you see what words take shape on the paper. Often, the names of people you will soon meet appear here first.

Get Metaphysical: Come to Me Rite

Have you ever attended an art opening or book reading and hit it off with the person seated beside you? You meant to exchange business cards, but one thing led to another and now you have no way of getting in touch. It’s time for some magical intervention. Try this spell and you will soon be bumping into each other at your neighborhood coffee shop.

At your local metaphysical shop, buy two body-shaped candles. (One should be shaped like your own body; the other should be a woman’s figure if you want to reach out to a woman, or a man’s figure to communicate with a man.) When you have the appropriate candles, set them on your altar. If you can’t find any with the desired shapes, use two pink candles instead.

Scatter fresh rosemary around the candles. Rub amber resin on the candles and burn amber incense. Light the candles, then break off some rosemary and sprinkle it in the incense. Hold your hands together between the candles and recite:

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Sister/brother stranger, friend I met today,

merry may we meet again. With every word I say,

I draw you closer to me.

So mote it be.

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The rosemary in the spell will cause your new acquaintance to remember you, too, and the amber resin will cause that person to “stick” to you as your friend.

Shamanic Sisterhood

To inculcate the bond between you and a new acquaintance, grind together one part white sandalwood and one part frankincense; use a mortar and pestle if you have one. Add four generous drops of sandalwood oil and speak the following full moon blessing together:

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Daughters under the sun,

sisters under the moon,

tonight, we bind our hearts and minds.

So mote it be.

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You can alter this spell to reflect the gender of the people participating.

Poppet Power Charm

Everyone has heard of voodoo dolls, but poppets are not nearly as well known. Sewn of plain muslin or linen, a poppet is simply an herb- or cotton-stuffed head, tied with string or threaded about the neck. It can be used to charm, protect, or even heal a friend. You can add something that represents your friend—red yarn if your friend is lucky enough to be a redhead, for example. Your poppet can be placed on your altar and can be the beneficiary of any number of charms or spells of your design.

Take dried sage, a plain muslin square, and a white string to create a “head.” Tie the doll’s neck securely so she doesn’t lose her head, so to speak. Pin or sew charms representing the good fortune you wish for your friend—coins for money, a heart-shaped patch for love, a sun for luck and happiness, a pyramid or moon for wisdom, whatever suits you. Feel free to use your imagination, and remember to use this only for positive results. (To wish harm has a karmic price you do not want to pay!)

Say aloud three times:

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To (friend’s name) I give all the luck in the world.

To (friend’s name) I give all the money in the world.

To (friend’s name) I give all the love of Aphrodite.

To (friend’s name) I give all the wisdom of the sages.

To (friend’s name) I give all the joy of love.

So mote it be.

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ConvivialiTea

Jasmine tea is one of the most delightful concoctions, and it can create an aura of bliss and conviviality. This tea is commonly found in most grocery stores, but organic and whole food shops always offer superior quality. Brew a cup of jasmine tea and let it cool. Add two parts lemonade and drink the mixture with a close friend on a Friday, Venus’s day, which rules our relationships. Jasmine is a vine, which traditionally represented the intertwining of people. Sharing this tea with a friend will enhance your bond.

This tea is also a tonic that you can indulge in alone. I recommend brewing a batch every Monday, or moon day, to ensure that each week will be filled with joy. As the tea steeps, pray:

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On this day in this new week,

I call upon the spirit to guide joy to my door.

Such gladness as I receive, so shall I give.

By this moon on this day,

I call upon Ishtar and Celene, ladies fair,

to show me the best way to live.

For this, I am grateful.

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My Sun and Stars: Sacred Sandalwood Oil

Although I am most fond of “vamber,” my vanilla and amber combination, I have recently moved into a sandalwood phase and am delighting in its powers.

In a glass bowl, stir together six teaspoons of powdered sandalwood and two cups of neutral oil, such as sesame or almond. Heat gently over a flame, taking care not to bring the mixture to boiling point. After cooling, place it in a colored-glass jar and seal securely.

Now you have an oil that is ruled by both the sun and the moon for use in protection and healing. An ideal way to use this in friendship magic is as a massage oil. A friend who receives a backrub using sandalwood oil will be a friend for life.

You can also use the oil to cast wishes for yourself and your friends through candle magic. Anoint a red candle (to spark love and devotion) with the oil and place it on your friendship altar. Speak your desire aloud three times and you are sure to receive what you ask for.

North, South, East, West: Oil of Alliance

Have a girlfriend get-together and mix up a batch of this magical salve. This oil is redolent with the properties of the four directions, which are the source of all power. This oil will contain your combined energies and can be used during subsequent rituals.

•Lavender is for the east, representing mental clarity and ideas.

•Musk is for the south, representing new energies and the winds of change.

•Honeysuckle is for the north, representing prosperity and abundance.

•Rose is for the west, representing emotions, friendship, and love.

Mix these oils together in equal parts. Then have each friend dip a forefinger into the oil mixture and stir clockwise. Raise the bowl of oil and pray together.

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In the name of union,

in the spirit of friendship,

I bless this oil as I exalt the bonds that bring us together,

and so it shall be.

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Complete the consecration by dabbing this magical potion on each other’s pulse points: wrists, temples, throat, knees, elbows, over the heart, and behind the ears. Make sure you all leave with your own vial of this companionship essence, which you can use any time a spell requires anointing candles or dabbling pulse points.

Sweet Heart Herbal Amulets

If you create amulets to share with your friends, your good intention will be returned many times over. I keep a stock of little muslin drawstring bags, but the amulet will be even more powerful if you sew them by hand and stuff the dried herbs inside.

•For courage: mullein and borage flowers

•As an aid to depression: nettle and yarrow

•To recognize other witches: ivy, rue, agrimony, broomstraw, and maidenhair fern

•For safe travel: comfrey

•For fertility: mistletoe and cyclamen

•For protection from deceit: snapdragon

•For good health: rue

•For success: woodruff

•For strength: mugwort

•For youthful looks: an acorn

You and your friends should keep these amulets with you at all times, either in a pocket or a purse, or on a string or chain around your neck.

Closening the Ties That Bind

You can further empower your friendship amulets by knotting them in accordance with the laws of magic. If the cord binding your bags is knotted nine sacred times, you will have increased greatly the power of the spell. Nine is the number of idealism, altruism, generosity, tolerance, and sacrifice. Here is a rhyme to recite as you bind:

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By knot of one, the spell is begun.

By knot of two, it comes true.

By knot of three, so mote it be.

By knot of four, ’tis strengthened more.

By knot of five, the magic is alive.

By knot of six, this spell shall I fix.

By knot of seven, the planets in heaven.

By knot of eight, I have sealed my fate.

By knot of nine, this work is divine.

So shall it be.

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You can also make a magic knotted cord to tie around a paper scroll. On the paper might be a written desire, a spell, or a wish expressed to a friend in a letter.

Soul Mate Sorcery

If you are fortunate enough to have a soul mate, here is a special bit of sorcery to seal your fate together.

Take a white candle for purity, a red candle for deep affection, and two long-stemmed roses complete with thorns. Light the candles and hand each other a rose. Anoint the candles with honey to bond you together and rose essential oil for the sweet connection of friendship. Witchcraft was originally nurtured by groups of friends passing on herbal remedies and working spells together in covens.

Use red ink and white feather to write a vow of friendship to each other on a piece of parchment.

First, each of you should dip the feather in the red ink and write the name of the other on the paper. Take a thorn from each other’s rose, prick the ends of your pinkies on your left hands, and squeeze a drop of blood onto the paper on each other’s names. As each of you completes this, speak aloud:

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Friend so dear,

friend so near,

our blood is mingled forever.

Our bond is true, together forever,

soul mate true blue.

So mote it be.

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Now your friendship is consecrated in the eyes of the gods and, most importantly, to the two of you. Now bury the parchment, the roses, the candles, and the feather outside in a safe place you choose together. If you don’t bury these things, you risk having your friendship interfered with.

Celestial Celebration Sacred Scents Incense

To purify and enhance the space where you perform spells, here is the best incense to burn before and after every circle gathering with your friends.

Mix together one part of each:

•Cinnamon, sandalwood, bay leaves, benzoin, vervain, amber resin, myrrh

Add two parts each:

•Rosemary, rose petals, frankincense

With your mortar and pestle, grind the mixture until it is a crumbly, albeit sticky, mixture. Store in a colored jar with a stopper top. Burn on a charcoal wafer known as incense charcoal, available at any metaphysical store in packs of ten.

Friendship Is Love, Too

Helping a jilted friend get over a bad relationship is good medicine, which can be therapeutic for you, as well. For example, a wonderful male coworker of mine was dumped unceremoniously by a woman he had been seeing for two years. He quickly went into a deep depression, and my heart went out to him. I felt compelled to help. I knew my friend walked to work each day, so I decided to let the cleansing winds work a little magic on his behalf.

At the nearest florist I bought two long-stemmed white roses. I took the petals from one and mixed them with a cup of aromatic lavender. I blessed the concoction, chanting:

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Eastern wind, wise and free,

help (friend’s name) to see,

a better love will come from thee.

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A few minutes prior to his arrival, I scattered the petals in the wind along his path to work, so he would step on the flowers and release their curative powers. When he arrived at the office that morning, he found the other single long-stemmed rose on his desk with a friendly note and invitation to lunch. His spirits improved that very day, and I was blessed with wonderful company.

Lemon Balm Soothes Those Aches and Pains (Including Heartbreak)