Читать книгу Marry Me...Again - Cheryl St.John - Страница 9

The words didn’t register on his face for a moment, but she knew the instant they clicked in his brain. A wrinkle formed between his brows. “Are you sure?”

She nodded. “I’m an ob-gyn,” she said needlessly. “I saw the ultrasound myself.”

“Yes, of course, but…but how? We’re careful every time.”

More than a little disappointed that he was questioning the technical aspect while she was suffering the emotional impact, she concentrated on his question. “You know I’m not a supporter of many forms of birth control, because of potential side effects. I know there are risks with every method, but we were being doubly safe with…” She didn’t really need to explain to him—he was there every time she used a contraceptive foam and he a condom.

“Well, these things happen,” she went on, “even though every precaution is taken. I see this in patients now and then.”

He looked at her with disbelief edging his expression and then sat squarely on the floor as though he might fall over if he didn’t ground himself. His face plainly registered the shock he was feeling. “You’re pregnant, Brynna?”

She nodded and blinked back tears of disappointment at his reaction. He needed a little time. She’d had a couple of weeks of suspicions to get prepared. Besides, she wanted a family more than anything.

He jammed the fingers of one hand into his fair hair and gazed unseeingly into space. His silence unnerved her.

Brynna got out of her chair and lowered herself to the floor beside him. “I didn’t do this on purpose, Dev.”

He met her eyes immediately. “I never thought you did.”

“I just didn’t want you to have a doubt.”

“I don’t. Why would I doubt you?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know. Because it’s never been a secret that I enjoy helping people create families and that I’ve always wanted my own family. I want one for us.”

“I never said I didn’t want a family,” he said defensively.

“You just aren’t ready. Not right now.”

“I don’t know. Don’t put words in my mouth. Don’t think for me.”

“Then tell me what you’re thinking. Please.”

He gestured with an open palm. “I’m dumbfounded. I hadn’t thought about this. I hadn’t planned on…”

“A baby,” she clarified.

“No. I hadn’t planned on a baby. We hadn’t planned on it.”

“You’re right. We hadn’t. But it’s happened, and now we just have to count our blessings.”

He nodded without conviction. But he didn’t meet her eyes for a long moment.

“It’s not the worst thing that could happen, Dev. We’ll have a family sooner than we planned, that’s all.”

“You’re just a year away from setting up your practice,” he pointed out.

Brynna took his hand. “I can keep working up until the last few weeks. After the baby comes, we can hire someone to help. I can have my career and be a good mother, too, Dev, I know I can.”

“I believe you can, too,” he said. He stood, still holding her hand, and helped her to her feet. As an afterthought he asked, still looking at the floor, “How pregnant are you?”

“Eight weeks,” she replied.

“How many weeks does it take?”

“Forty.”

“Is that all?” He rubbed a hand down his face.

He didn’t ask her how she felt, if she had morning sickness or what she was feeling. Tears threatened and Brynna blinked them back.

“That means he would be born when?”

“He…or she,” she replied, quoting the due date she had calculated.

He nodded, as though figuring the event into his schedule or planning how much he could fit in before he was tied down.

Brynna turned to the table. “Do you want your dessert?”

“No,” he replied distractedly. “Thanks.”

She carried the dishes into the kitchen and returned to blow out the candles.

Dev was standing in the doorway to the living room, leaning against the jamb. The light from the hall silhouetted his tall frame. Overshadowing her love for him had always been the fear that any children of theirs would be neglected while he pursued his carefree flying. Dev wasn’t used to being tied down.

Devlin Holmes was the only impulsive thing she’d ever done in her life and she prayed she wasn’t going to regret it. Thinking she might terrified her. She loved him so much it hurt.

She walked to him, and he enfolded her in a strong embrace. Brynna laid her cheek against his solid chest and allowed a tear to dampen his shirt-front.

“I love you, Brynna,” he said softly, his voice the stirring baritone she loved.

“I love you, Dev,” she replied hoarsely.

He rubbed her back and cupped her buttocks, his touch arousing feelings of passion and need as it always did. He kissed her and she melted against him.

“Is it okay to make love?” he asked.

“Yes, of course. We make love all the time, don’t we?” She took his hand and led him to the bedroom.

The following morning, Brynna stood before the mirror in her chemise and panties and studied her body, her barely swelling abdomen negligible proof of the life within her. She touched the place where their child nestled and tried not to think of Dev’s reaction the night before. His focus on flying reminded her frighteningly of her parents’ obsession with their own private lives.

Norman and Audrey Shaw had been loving toward each other, but never attentive to their children. Brynna had often wondered why the couple had bothered to create and keep four children. She’d thought they would have discovered after the first one—her—that they weren’t cut out to be parents.

Her father worked his eight-to-five job at the lumber mill and her mother as a file clerk at the courthouse. Once the two hit the door after work, they were right back out pursuing their own interests, keeping Beauties and the Beat as well as Joe’s Bar in business, traveling to flea markets and trade shows on the weekends. Her father bought and sold rare coins.

Once Tuck had graduated, they’d bought an RV and hit the road. Brynna had always been the emotional stability for her siblings. She’d prepared their meals, washed their clothes and helped them with schoolwork.

She didn’t want to be the solitary backbone of her own family as she had been for her birth family. She didn’t want a family without Dev’s help. She couldn’t bear to be alone in this marriage.

Dev had more money to play with, but he was preoccupied with his own interests, just as her parents had been. She didn’t believe for a moment that he’d ever be unfaithful. She just didn’t think he knew how to commit. His reaction to her pregnancy confirmed that.

Brynna had worked hard to get this far in her career. Focus and responsibility had brought her to this point. She’d done this on her own and she wasn’t going to give it up. But she wanted this baby, too. A family. She had a horrible feeling that she’d made a mistake in impulsively marrying a man she didn’t know well. It was a feeling she couldn’t shake.

The next two evenings Brynna worked, and when she came home, Dev had been waiting for her with a light meal. They made small talk, though neither of them mentioned her pregnancy, and the subject hung between them like an invisible wall. Brynna’s defenses were more on alert than ever. Would Dev come around…or had this pushed him away?

Would she come home some night to find him gone? His things missing? Preparing herself for that possibility, she distanced herself a little more each day.

Friday evening after work, Brynna showered and dressed for her younger brother’s party, concerned because she hadn’t heard from Dev since that morning, and he hadn’t been here to greet her after her shift. She fixed her pager to the snug waistband of her slacks and tried calling Dev’s cell phone. She got his voice mail and left him a brief message, asking where he was.

Glancing out at the hazy sky, she grabbed a light jacket and drove to Melanie and Frank’s comfortable ranch-style home. The acrid scent of smoke hung in the air, and Brynna scanned the horizon, spotting a dark cloud in the direction of Logan’s Hill. They hadn’t had rain for weeks on end, and the reports of sporadic fires were frightening. This one looked close.

Her brother-in-law met her at his door.

“Where’s the hunk?” Frank asked, glancing behind her. He’d teasingly referred to Dev as the hunk ever since hearing how the nurses at the clinic considered him eye candy.

“I don’t know. I couldn’t get him on the phone. Where’s the birthday guy?”

She had seen Tuck’s car in the drive.

“Out back. Your sister is grilling, though I warn you, I am the master chef. So far, so good, though.”

“Frank, did you see the sky to the northeast? There’s a fire.”

“I’ll flip on my police scanner and listen. Go on out back.”

Brynna made her way through the house and out the sliding doors from the dining room to a roomy deck where Tuck sat at a picnic table with his nephews, playing with plastic action figures.

John, six, and Chandler, four, jumped down from their seats to run and greet their aunt. Brynna gave them hugs and kissed their cheeks. “It’s Unca Tuck’s boofday,” Chandler told her, his blue eyes wide with excitement.

“I know,” Brynna replied. “Are we going to have cake after supper?”

“Uh-huh. And we gots a supwise for him, too, but I’m not apposed to say it’s stuff for him to take at college.”

“Well, don’t say it then,” Brynna replied with a grin.

“It’s not toys,” John added without enthusiasm.

“That’s probably a good thing,” Brynna replied, “because Tuck won’t have time to play with toys at college. At least I never did.”

“I’m taking my Game Boy,” Tuck interjected. “I have to have something to do besides study.”

“Can we play with your Game Boy now, Uncle Tuck?” John asked.

“After supper,” Melanie replied from her position at the grill.

John and Chandler jumped up and down in delighted anticipation. The steaks smelled incredible, and Brynna’s stomach growled.

“Have you received all of your grant forms and finished all the paperwork?” Brynna asked her brother. He had been accepted into a west-coast college and had received a couple of small grants, which would help. Brynna had done as much as she could to help with tuition, especially since Dev had been paying her school loans—with the agreement that she’d pay him back.

Her youngest brother nodded. “I got it all mailed.”

“I suppose I need to arrange my schedule so we can drive out there and look at the dorms,” she said.

“Dev is flying me out next week to look at an apartment and to find a part-time job,” he replied, the information catching her by surprise. “He is so cool.”

She looked at him in surprise and concern. “Tuck, the dorms are more affordable than an apartment, especially in California.”

Besides, she was worried about him being on his own, so far away from home. She’d feel better if he was living on campus.

“I might find someone to share the rent with when we get there. There will be notices posted in the registration building. Where is Dev, anyway?”

Brynna glanced at her watch. “I don’t know.”

Just then a siren split the silence. Down the street, Rumor’s only fire truck could be heard leaving the station.

Chandler jumped up and grabbed Tuck’s hand. “Let’s go see!”