Читать книгу The Best Christmas Ever - Cheryl Wolverton - Страница 9

“Sarah?”

Sarah Connelly smiled sweetly at her brother-in-law’s incredulous tone, then watched as his surprise slowly turned to cool remoteness. “Surely, Justin, it hasn’t been so long that you’ve forgotten me,” she quipped, doing her best to hide her fear that he’d slam the door in her face.

His mask fell into place just the way Sarah remembered it had in the past. His critical gaze slowly took her in. Sarah did her best not to gather the thin sweater around her shoulders against the cold wind or his icy scrutiny.

“Maybe it’s just because I’ve never seen you in jeans,” he replied indifferently. “Remember the last time I saw you—in court? That nice little blue suit you wore when…”

“Yes, well.” Sarah shrugged dismissively.

“So what brings you here?” He leaned against the door frame, blocking her way into his house. “It has, after all, been two years.”

“I wanted to see Mickie,” she replied, deciding that any hope she’d had of getting the baby-sitting/housekeeper job was just a dream. He was still furious with her, and she didn’t blame him. Although she’d hoped it would be different

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“I’m her aunt.”

“Who hasn’t been here in two years,” he retorted.

“I’m sorry.” Sarah shifted her chilled feet, pushing at the loose strand of blond hair that blew across her face. She was cold. Justin knew she was cold, but he wasn’t going to let her in.

“Sorry?” Justin’s eyes flashed. “For what? For not coming to see Mickie? Or for trying to take her away from me two years ago?”

Instead of getting angry as she would have back then, Sarah dropped her gaze from Justin’s accusing one. “Both,” she finally whispered. Lifting her chin, she forced a smile. “Look, I wanted to apologize and put it all behind us, but I guess that’s impossible. I’ll be going.”

All she wanted to do was leave. She’d known it was a stupid idea to come here and apply for the job. But her friend Bill had been so certain Justin would take her on. Of course, Bill was newly married and in love. He thought all families loved one another the way he loved his in-laws. He couldn’t understand the icy wall of anger and bitterness that separated her and Justin, the guilt and fears…

Justin’s hand shot out and wrapped around her small arm. “Wait.”

She froze at Justin’s first touch, then slowly turned. Indecision and frustration etched his rugged features. He wasn’t sure if he wanted her there or not. The years hadn’t changed him. Justin was still as good-looking as when she’d first met him almost seven years ago. A few gray hairs she didn’t remember were now mixed in his dark brown wavy hair. It was cut short in the back and longer on the top; one lock of his hair fell casually out of place over his forehead. He hadn’t gained an ounce of weight. “Since when do you wear jeans?” She liked the way he looked in them.

He cocked an eyebrow in amusement.

Warmth climbed her face as she realized she’d actually asked the question out loud.

“Since I’ve been doing the housework,” he replied evenly.

She fidgeted a moment, then stepped back. “Well, I’d better go—”

“No. I…” He ran a hand through his hair, his other hand on his hip. Finally, he sighed. “It’s been two years, Sarah. Why now?”

“You already asked that,” Sarah replied with the only comeback she could think of that would give her time to form an answer.

“Daddy?”

Justin’s head jerked toward the stairs.

Sarah saw panic in his eyes. “Look, Justin, if you don’t want Mickie to see me I’ll go. I understand if—”

“No, come on in.” A long, low breath escaped Justin before he stepped back to allow her in.

Turning toward the stairs, he called up, “I’ll be right there, Mickie. Go ahead and put on the jeans I laid out for you.”

He stepped back and allowed Sarah to enter the house. It hadn’t changed since her sister, Amy, had lived there two years ago. The same overstuffed sofa filled the living room; an oak coffee table still sat in front of the sofa, with a book of scenic landscapes throughout America on it. On the mantel framed family photos were arranged with pride and loving care. Looking out through the open curtains, Sarah saw the sky was still clouded over and it looked as though it might rain or snow any moment.

“Mickie has been asking about relatives lately. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to let you meet with her. Just don’t do anything to hurt her.”

Sarah jerked as if she’d been slapped. “I’d never hurt Mickie.”

“Then why’d you try to take her away from me two years ago?”

This was the question Sarah had not wanted to hear. The accusation and suppressed anger in his voice were as obvious as the fact that he expected her to answer. “I truly thought she’d be better off with me, Justin,” she finally said.

He snorted. “I’m sure your fiancé would love having her with you now, wouldn’t he, Sarah?”

Sarah stiffened. “How do you know about André?”

“Hamilton is a small town,” he replied, shrugging.

Of course everyone in the small suburb well outside the Dallas-Fort Worth metropolis knew everything about everyone. She paled, wondering if he knew the rest, too. She didn’t dare ask. Instead, she said, “André likes children.”

That much was true.

“So, do you still work as your fiancé’s secretary?”

“So, do you still take people’s business away from them?” she retorted, and was immediately contrite at the look of pain that flashed in Justin’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.” She placed her hands on her hips, her exasperation evident in every inch of her stiff body. “Why must you be so provoking, Justin? I came here to apologize, to put the past in the past. We’re family. Mickie is the only blood relative I have left. I want to get to know her. I thought you might be able to forgive me for that reason alone.”

It had taken two years. She’d had to hit rock bottom and turn to God before realizing how much she’d wronged this man. But once she had acknowledged what a grievous blow she’d dealt Justin by taking him to court for custody of Mickie, she’d hoped to correct it. Her only mistake was in listening to Bill and deciding to apply for the job as housekeeper.

Of course, now that she saw how Justin still felt about her, she couldn’t tell him about what she’d found out from the doctor. Or how that had led to André breaking off their engagement. Nor how that had led to the sweet note in her mailbox the following week saying that Watson and Watson had to cut back staff and she, unfortunately, was the one who had to go.

André hadn’t even had the guts to fire her in person. That still hurt. But she knew God had a reason for all that happened. She knew now that if she trusted Him, He would turn everything out for the good. It was His way even when she couldn’t see it herself.

Justin sighed again. “You’re right. I’m sorry, too.”

“I really do want to try to get along.”

Justin ran a hand through his hair.

“For Amy’s sake,” she said, then added more desperately, “for Mickie’s sake.”

That swayed him. “You’re right. Despite how angry I am at you, Mickie needs to know you. Other kids at kindergarten have been asking about her family. The kids at school all have aunts and uncles.”

She heard the silent and a mother.

“I think she’d really like to meet a relative. But if you hurt her or say anything—”

“I won’t,” Sarah cut in. Since her devastating news and resulting breakup with André she’d had a lot of time to think and pray.

She wanted to know Mickie. She’d allowed two years to pass since the court battle, and hadn’t seen Mickie since. It was time to forget the past and go forward. And she wanted to do that with the only family she had left.

“Look, I have an important meeting I’ll be late for if I don’t get ready. I’ll go up and change. I’ll tell Mickie you’re here.”

“Will she know who I am?”

Justin scowled. “She knows she has an aunt Sarah. You can visit with her until the baby-sitter gets here. If all goes well, then we’ll see about visits after that. I’d better warn you, though—Mickie doesn’t take well to strangers, whether she’s heard of them or not.”

Sarah nodded.

Without another word, Justin turned and headed up the stairs.

The kids at school all have aunts and uncles.

Sarah’s heart ached at his words. How much had Mickie missed because of her mother’s death, because of Sarah’s bitterness and anger, because of the bitterness and anger between her and Justin?

Well, she was going to set things right if she could, starting now.

A sound at the top of the stairs caught her attention and she looked up. A five-year-old girl, with long brown curly hair that hung past her shoulders stood at the top of the stairs, a fashion doll clutched in her hands.

The child studied Sarah a long minute before slowly descending. “Daddy says you’re my aunt.”

Tears welled in Sarah’s eyes, but she quickly blinked them away. Mickie looked so much like Amy it hurt to see her. She wanted to grab the child and hug her, never let her go, but she knew Mickie didn’t remember her. “That’s right, Michelle,” she said, trying to hide her trembling by clasping her hands.

“Daddy calls me ‘Mickie.’”

Of course, Sarah thought, not even knowing why she had used the child’s given name. “That’s right. Your mom said that was the first word out of your daddy’s mouth when you were born.”

Mickie’s eyes widened. “Did you know my mama?”

“Yes, sweetheart, I did. Your mama was my sister.”

Mickie’s wide brown eyes, the only thing she had inherited from her father, stared at Sarah as if assessing that bit of information.

“Her picture looks like you. Will you tell me her favorite story?”

Sarah reached out for the child’s hand. After Mickie slipped her tiny one into hers, she led her over to the couch. “Of course I will,” she said, humbled that Mickie took her in without questioning why she’d never come by or why she’d missed birthdays and Christmases. “Her favorite story was The Littlest Angel. Have you ever heard that?”

Mickie shook her head and Sarah settled her in to tell her the tale.

Upstairs, Justin listened to the murmuring below. He’d told Sarah Mickie didn’t usually take to people, but Mickie had been so excited when she’d found out her aunt Sarah had come to visit. Knowing the sitter would be there any minute, he’d allowed Mickie to go down by herself.

It was the least he could do after telling Sarah never to come near his child again. Sarah had attempted to breach the wall between them. He wouldn’t reinforce the barricade by refusing to trust her for a few minutes with his daughter. After all, what could happen?

The ringing phone interrupted his thoughts. Pulling on his long-sleeved white shirt, he crossed the room to answer it. “Hello?”

It was Mrs. Winters, the baby-sitter. “Justin. I know I was supposed to baby-sit tonight, but I just got a call fifteen minutes ago from my daughter out in Arizona. She’s gone into early labor and it’s not going well. I’ve had to book an emergency flight and am leaving within the hour. Justin?”

Barely able to restrain a groan of dismay, he replied, “I understand, Mrs. Winters. I’ll be praying for your daughter.”

“I really hate to do this. I know I told you I’d be able to work at least three more weeks, but pregnancies just aren’t always predictable.”

“Don’t worry,” he said, even as he silently went through a list, trying to figure out whom he could round up to watch his daughter on such a short notice. “I’ll find someone. You just worry about getting to your daughter’s side. I’ll be fine.”

Justin could hear the relief in Mrs. Winters’s voice as she hung up the phone. It might be relief for her, but it was near chaos for him. He had to make that important business meeting scheduled in less than an hour with the top executives of a software firm on the West Coast. His second-in-command, Phillip, had worked out most of the negotiations over the phone. This was the only time the executives could meet with Justin to sign the papers and go over last-minute details before the merger was completed.

Why did things have to get so messed up now? If he called off the meeting, the men might lose confidence in him and go to another company. They were desperate and needed this…and so did he. His company had suffered financial setbacks the past few years, but he had finally turned things around. With this merger, his firm would again be one of the biggest producers of software components in the southwestern United States.

He finished buttoning his shirt, then grabbed his tie and draped it around his neck. After picking up his jacket, he headed downstairs. Justin supposed he could take Mickie with him to the meeting. He’d set her up someplace comfortable with books and toys and hope she’d manage to amuse herself. He’d done it before. But this meeting would last longer than most, and be more delicate. Maybe he could call Phillip, who had picked up the businessmen from the airport, and have him stall…

Coming down the stairs, he was surprised when he saw Sarah on his couch. He had forgotten she was there.

Finally continuing on, he reached the bottom of the stairs before she spotted him and her murmurs to Mickie drifted off. Justin tossed his jacket on the back of the sofa and worked his tie into an acceptable knot. “Mickie, I need you to go upstairs and change. That was Mrs. Winters on the phone and she can’t baby-sit tonight. You’ll have to come with me to work.” Seeing her downcast look, he decided to remind her of his secretary’s presence. “Christine will be there and maybe she can play with you while I work. You love to play with her.” It wasn’t exactly true and he was feeling guilty for suggesting it. Mickie tolerated the older woman’s game of Go Fish and her comments about her pretty little dresses.

“What about Aunt Sarah?”

Justin’s gaze shifted to Sarah. He still couldn’t believe he’d almost forgotten she was there. That was very odd. In the past, every time they’d been in the same room a yelling match had ensued within minutes of their arrivals and she’d stormed off in a huff. Why was she being so quiet today? Her deep blue eyes blinked and he could have sworn she was embarrassed to be caught in the family emergency. Hah! Unlikely. Sarah loved controversy.

“What about her?”

“Why can’t she watch me?”

“Mickie,” her father warned, surprised by his daughter’s unusual show of spirit.

“I don’t think your daddy would like that.” Realizing what she’d said, Sarah gazed at her brother-in-law in shocked apology.

Justin didn’t know what to say. He wanted to tell her, Impossible, there’s no way I’d trust my daughter with you. You despise me. But then he couldn’t get over her look of embarrassment at what she’d just said. No matter how true it was that he and Sarah didn’t get along, he didn’t want his daughter to know that, which made him realize just how wrong his feelings were. But it would take time to get over those feelings.

Do unto others…

The verse he’d learned as a child floated into his mind, striking him with guilt. What was he teaching his daughter by harboring this anger? And what would she think if he didn’t at least try to work through his pain and forgive his sister-in-law? It was true Mickie might not understand everything that had happened, but she would understand her aunt Sarah not coming around again.

Justin finally said, albeit reluctantly, “Actually, Sarah, if you’re available for the rest of the evening, I wouldn’t mind. Mickie seems quite taken by her aunt. And it’d give you a little more time to visit.”

Sarah swallowed her automatic no. She knew Justin didn’t really want her there. But could she have ever, in her wildest dreams, envisioned spending an evening with her niece? She hadn’t seen Mickie since her sister’s funeral. Mickie had not been at the hearing before the judge. Sarah hadn’t been dismayed over that. She had believed she’d have Mickie soon enough.

How absolutely arrogant she had been, and how angry when the court had ruled in her brother-in-law’s favor. Now she was getting a second chance to know Mickie, to get reacquainted with her. The door had just been opened; the opportunity she had been praying for had dropped into her lap. “I don’t have to be anywhere. I’d be glad to watch her.”

An awkward silence fell as the two adults stared at each other; it was broken finally when Mickie squealed in glee and clapped her hands.

“Will you fix me dinner? I like fried chicken, but Daddy doesn’t make it. I also like peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches. And then you can help me into my ‘jamas and we can read stories till Dad gets home. Is that okay, Daddy? Can we read stories until you get home?”

Sarah saw Justin’s features soften and was amazed at how much younger he looked when he smiled so gently like that. “That sounds fine.”

When his gaze returned to Sarah, the cool mask fell back in place.

“There’s a list of emergency numbers by the phone. Fix whatever you two decide you want for dinner…except peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches.” He cast a warning look at his daughter, who bowed her head and appeared properly contrite at the idea of allowing any peanut butter or jelly to pass her lips again in the near future. “I should be home sometime this evening. The office is about forty-five minutes away and the people I’m meeting have to leave tonight.”

He looked at his watch. Four o’clock. He would be late at this rate. Thank goodness he had arranged to meet them at a hotel closer to his home. It had been Phillip’s idea to pick them up in the limo and for them all to go to the office together for the tour and business meeting. “Any questions?”

Sarah shook her head. Still he seemed unsure. “Look, Justin,” she said, “if you want, I’ll call you every hour on the hour. You don’t need to worry that we’ll be gone when you return.” She didn’t tell him that she no longer had a car and had caught the bus over. Call it pride, but she just couldn’t admit that.

His face didn’t show if that was what he was thinking or not. He finally sighed and gave a curt nod. “I’m trusting you on this. My secretary’s number is on the list. Phone if you need anything.”

He kissed his daughter goodbye and headed out the door.

Sarah couldn’t believe it. She was actually alone with her niece. Why had Justin allowed it?

Was it that it had been so long and he’d relegated the past to the past? She wondered if he meant to pay her. There was no way she would ask. She wasn’t even sure she could take his money. She was desperate, but was she that desperate?

True, that was why she’d originally come. But she hadn’t expected to feel guilty and uncomfortable around Justin. Had she thought to be that same old arrogant woman who would look at him as though he owed her for his past sins?

Closing her mind to those questions, she turned her attention to Mickie, who was tugging on her shirt.

“Can we cook now? I like to help in the kitchen, but Mrs. Winters never lets me. She says I make a mess, especially when we have chicken. You know, we wouldn’t have to have peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches. Sometimes Daddy lets me eat them on crackers, too.”

Sarah smiled. She hadn’t eaten since last night. She’d missed breakfast this morning because she had wanted to find somewhere to shower before coming over to Justin’s. The only other meal she’d have a chance at was dinner at six o’clock in the evening.

Oh, no! She suddenly focused on one small fact she’d conveniently forgotten; she had to be back by eight o’clock. Would Justin be home before then? She worried her bottom lip, then sighed. Well, there was no choice now. She’d just have to hope it worked out.

“I think peanut butter and jelly on anything is out—if that look your father gave you was any indication,” she said, forcing her worries from her mind. She’d have plenty of time later to worry. Right now she wanted to soak up Mickie’s presence. “Come on, let’s go thaw out something and you can help me make a mess in the kitchen.”

“You make a mess?”

Mickie’s eyes widened in childish horror. Sarah smiled. “It’s more fun that way.” She winked.

Going toward the kitchen with Mickie, Sarah realized that things might actually be changing in her life. Maybe the past could be just that—the past Maybe she could forget it; let go of the ghosts that haunted her, the mistakes she had made. Perhaps she could turn over a new leaf and start back on the right path. It’d been so long…she wasn’t sure if she could even find her way back on her own. How did she get rid of years of bitterness and pain and find peace again with the very person she had wronged?

She remembered then—something her mother had told her when she’d had a fight with her dear friend and they had stopped talking for two weeks. She’d been frantic that she would never see her friend again and didn’t know if Sylvia would accept her apology or not. She’d prayed but wasn’t sure God had answered her prayer on how she should ask forgiveness for yelling at Sylvia.

“When you turn and walk down our street it takes five minutes to reach the end, dear. How long does it take to return?”

She had answered, “Five minutes.”

“And how do you get back? Do you cover that distance in five seconds or fifty seconds? Do you turn and take different streets to get you back to our house?”

“No, Mama,” she’d replied.

“That’s right, dear. You simply turn around and start from the way you came, taking one step at a time. Sometimes you can make it a little faster, sometimes not. But the important thing is you make that decision and turn around and go back.”

Her mother had been right. By confronting the issue with Sylvia, Sarah had righted things, although the lost trust between them had taken a little longer to return.

Now she knew that no matter how long it took, she wanted things right again between her and her only living relative. So maybe, if she prayed—since the first step to anything was prayer, or at least that was what she’d been taught in her family—this time things would be different between her and her brother-in-law. They could get along well enough that she would again have a family.

If she hadn’t turned her back and run from God when everything had happened almost seven years ago, then this mess wouldn’t have happened.

She told herself to remember that this time and everything would work out. Put God first, not her own selfish feelings, and trust God to work the miracle.

Looking down at Mickie, she knew that no matter what happened, she had to do that. She didn’t want to lose what she only now was discovering filled a void that had long been in need of filling.