Читать книгу Every Time We Kiss - Christie Kelley - Страница 9

Jennette gasped and stared at the cad in front of her. No one would believe him, she reasoned. Matthew had admitted to accidentally killing John. By doing so, he had protected her name and her family’s reputation. And he’d lost his. He left Society and became an outcast…all for her.

But if he suddenly changed his story, no one would trust him. They would think he was trying to place the blame on her to clear his name.

Yet, even as she tried to rationalize things, her guilt assailed her. The reason he could not find a bride had nothing to do with his finances and everything to do with a reputation he didn’t deserve. A reputation she had given him by letting John beg him to save her name.

If she had only stood up for herself back then. She knew now that if she’d taken the responsibility, the most likely outcome would have been sympathy for what had happened. Eventually, her reputation would have healed.

But now?

If people believed his story, she would be far more ruined than he ever was because everyone would hate her for not stepping forward five years ago. And worse, her actions would reflect poorly on her mother’s name, and Avis and Banning’s, too. All because of her.

This was all her fault. She never should have let him take the blame for her.

She had to find a way to help him. Marrying him was out of the question. His father and brother had gambled the family fortune away. No matter how much guilt she felt over what happened that day, she would never marry a fortune hunter and a gambler. Marrying Matthew would give him full control over her money so he could spend it all at the gaming hells. She would never let that happen.

Still, the guilt she felt over what she had done to both men would never leave her. There had to be some way she could assist him without marrying him.

A bride.

A wealthy bride was all he was after. There was no reason it had to be her.

Finally, she looked up at him. “I cannot marry you, Matthew. But perhaps I can help you in another way.”

“I won’t take your money. I need a wife who will correct my position with the ton. I need an heir to carry on my name, inherit the title and the money I will ensure is plentiful.”

As he walked to the far side of the pergola, she thought about running back to the house and calling a footman to toss him out on the street. But when he turned back toward her, the desperation etched on his face stopped her. She and John had caused his ruination. She had no choice but to help him if she could.

“I have an idea,” she said quickly.

He stopped in front of her and tilted his head. A lock of chestnut hair fell upon his forehead. “Oh?”

“I will find you a bride. A woman wealthy enough to suit you and willing to be your countess.” A woman with a diligent father to watch over his daughter’s husband to ensure he didn’t gamble the money away.

A sharp laugh escaped him. “And how do you propose to do such a thing when I’m not even invited to a simple musicale?”

He made a good point. But she had connections and by pleading his case, she might obtain the coveted invitations for him. She could be quite convincing when necessary.

“Leave that all to me,” she replied softly. “I might be a spinster but I do have my ways.”

A half-smile curved his lips upward. “I have no doubt about that, Jennette. But I don’t trust you.”

Taken aback, she glared up at him. “I beg your pardon?”

“Why would I trust a woman who has never defended me to her friends?”

“I was supposed to defend you when you claimed to have killed my fiancé?”

“Accidentally. You could have at least reiterated that piece of information to them,” he said harshly.

“You know how that would have looked to them.” She looked away so he wouldn’t see the guilt written on her face. He was right. She should have supported him.

“Yes, it would have looked as if you were protecting a friend. God knows there are so few people in this world capable of doing such a thing.”

“You were the one who told me to go back to my life, forget what had happened. Pretend as if nothing happened that day.”

That damned guilt for treating him so poorly washed over her again. There was no possible way he would understand how hard it was for her to pretend she was the eccentric spinster who’d had her heart broken by her betrothed’s untimely death. To pretend she was the harmed party in the situation.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, staring downward.

He walked back and forth across the lawn, looking more like a caged tiger than a man searching for a wife. Suddenly he stopped.

“How exactly would you find me a wife?”

“Well,” she stalled, “I would talk about you at all the social occasions.”

“That would take too long. I need a wife now.”

“All right, then,” Jennette sighed. She had no real ideas about how she could manage this task. “I have a few friends who are getting rather desperate to marry before they are considered permanently on the shelf.”

“Go on,” he urged, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I will speak kindly about you to them. I shall tell them what an honorable man you are.”

He laughed scornfully. “And how will you succeed at that when the most honorable thing I ever did was what stuck me with this damned reputation?”

Jennette frowned. “Surely you have done other honorable things in your lifetime.”

“Such as…?” he asked with one chestnut brow raised.

“You donate to charities?”

He shook his head. “Unless you consider my mistress a charity.”

“No,” she said with a pause. A smile formed upon her lips. “Although, I’m quite certain we could say you assist needy unmarried women.”

This time his laugh sounded completely real. “I rather like that. What else?”

“If you could give five pounds to a home for orphaned children my friend operates, I could say you are generous to the poor orphans.”

“Done.”

“Over the next day or so, I will find other brilliant things to say about you.”

He approached her slowly until he stood directly in front of her. She strained her neck to look up at him. Most men of her acquaintance barely matched her height, but not Matthew. As he bent down to her level, she gasped at his nearness. It had nothing to do with his perfectly molded lips, she told herself.

She couldn’t still be attracted to him. It had been five years. No, the nervous feeling in her belly stemmed purely from the fact that he could ruin her.

“You have one month,” he whispered.

Jennette blinked. “Pardon?”

“One month to find me a bride. If after one month you don’t have me well-matched, I will have a special license with both our names on it.”

She pressed her lips together and swallowed the lump of fear down. She could do this. All she had to do was find the most desperate spinster she knew and throw her at him. Besides, her ship to Florence departed in less than a month. If she failed, at least she would be gone before he could marry her.

But she would not disappoint him—her guilt wouldn’t allow it. He deserved some happiness in his life after all that she’d put him through.

“Very well.”

He stared at her with those cold gray eyes burning into her soul. “If you try to dupe me, I’ll make sure everyone in Christendom knows who killed John.”

“I understand.”

“Now,” he said as he straightened to his full height. He reached behind her and fixed her crooked wings. “Put a smile on your face and get back to your party. And happy birthday, Jennette.”

“Thank you,” she said.

He smirked. “Save me a dance.”

“You’re coming inside?”

“There is no better time to start your plan than now, don’t you agree?”

Matthew didn’t wait for her reply. After tying on his mask, he strode for the terrace, leaving Jennette behind. As he entered the ball, a footman walked by with glasses of wine. Matthew pilfered a glass and drank the fruity liquid down in two gulps.

His talk in the garden had not gone as he’d hoped. Somehow, that woman had twisted things around until he was threatening her with marriage. He’d only intended to speak with her. Inform her that he would be reentering Society. But his damned emotions had taken over.

Walking to the refreshment table, he pondered his predicament. He highly doubted Jennette’s ability to find him a willing bride in such a short time frame. She probably had some information on a few people and planned to use it to blackmail one of them into marrying him.

Not that he didn’t appreciate that bit of irony.

But at the same time, he didn’t trust her. He would give her one week to show him what type of woman she could offer him. If he didn’t approve of them or they wouldn’t have anything to do with him, Jennette was fair game.

He was being reasonable. And he knew the only way she’d agree to marry him was a public compromising. He hadn’t the heart to tell the world, or even the ton, what had really happened on the field that day. When he had given his promise to John to protect her name, he meant it.

No one would ever discover the truth from him.

Except Vanessa.

That one drunken bitter night when he’d spilled the truth to her. But that was what mistresses were for, after all. Secrets and passion. Subjects too sensitive for anyone else. Vanessa had given him her word never to reveal his secrets, and he’d paid her well for that service.

Looking over at the terrace door, he watched Jennette slip through the open doorway and back inside the room. Her pink cheeks gave away her flustered state. Immediately a crowd of women appeared at her side. She smiled at them, but he knew she was paying no attention to them. Her gaze locked with his for a long moment.

He felt like a cad for doing this to her. But his options had run out. It seemed odd that he was hanging his only hope on her. Perhaps he should have taken her money. Yet money wasn’t all he needed or wanted. He’d spoken the truth when he said he needed a wife and child. More importantly, he wanted to regain his respectability. No longer hiding on the outskirts of the ton.

He picked up a glass of wine from the table and lifted it in salute to her. Quickly, she looked away from him. Before he could turn and walk toward the gaming room to watch the playing, a man stepped in front of him. Even with a mask, Matthew immediately recognized the angry blue eyes behind the disguise.

“What are you doing here?” Lord Selby asked in a cold voice. “Uninvited, I might add.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you are talking about,” Matthew replied and started to inch away. “You must have me confused with another.”

Selby clenched his hand around Matthew’s bicep and led him to a corner for privacy. “I know exactly who you are, Blackburn. And don’t think I didn’t see the little salute you gave my sister. I want you out of here.”

“As you wish.” Matthew placed the wine on the table and turned only to face Jennette.

“It is our dance, is it not?”

The melodic sound of her voice floated over him, caressing him. She stepped closer to both men.

“Jennette,” her brother warned. “I don’t think you know who this is.”

“Banning, I believe you are mistaken.” She hooked her arm around Matthew’s and said, “Our waltz is starting.”

“Yes, my lady.” Matthew started to lead her to the dance floor but stopped upon hearing Selby’s voice.

“Jennette,” her brother hissed.

“Leave me be, Ban.”

“I hope you know what you are doing,” Selby replied.

She turned and looked at her brother. “I know exactly what I’m doing.”

Matthew blew out a breath and walked her to the dance floor. If he’d had a sister, he would have reacted the same way as Selby. “Perhaps your brother is right. I am the last person you should be dancing with tonight.”

“I promised you a dance and I refuse to let you wheedle your way out of it.”

He pulled her close as the dance began. “I never said I didn’t want to dance with you.”

He couldn’t think of a thing he wanted more than her in his arms. Unless, she was naked and in his bed.

She smiled up at him as twin dimples lined her cheeks. “Good.”

Her body almost touched his and he barely resisted the urge to drag her completely against him. He’d always attempted to think of her solely as John’s betrothed. But just like five years ago, it never seemed to work. It must have been her alluring scent of exotic spices. A combination of fragrances that floated around them, intoxicating him.

“Are you still frightened of me?” he whispered when he felt her tremble.

“Always,” she answered softly. “You have the ability to ruin me…and my family.”

“So when do I meet this first lady?”

“Tonight. I shall speak to her as soon as our dance is finished.”

He leaned in closer just to inhale her sweet scent again. “Is she beautiful?”

“She is quite fetching.” Jennette drew away from him. “But you never told me beauty was a requirement.”

“I shouldn’t wish to be married to someone I dread making love to at night.” Matthew smiled as her cheeks reddened.

“If you speak like that to all the innocent ladies they will run away from you,” she finally replied.

“And yet, you haven’t run away,” he whispered in her ear.

“Cad.”

“So everyone believes.” He glanced away from her deliberately. “Personally, I have always preferred blondes. And petite, too. Will this be a problem?”

“I should think someone in your situation cannot be too particular.”

“Yes, but you will find me the perfect wife, or so you said,” he answered. The only perfect thing about a wife who met his description was that she wouldn’t remind him of Jennette.

“Yes, I will,” she said with more force than necessary.

As the music ended, Matthew reluctantly led her back to her brother. Selby stared coldly at him.

“Thank you for the dance, Lady Jennette. I quite enjoyed it.” He bowed over her hand, then left her to be chastised by her brother.

Banning led her away from the crowded ballroom. “Have you completely lost your mind?”

At this point, Jennette wasn’t certain. Insanity might be preferable to what she’d gotten herself into tonight.

“Why is he even here?” Banning asked as they reached the salon where only an hour before Sophie had foretold her future, with far too much accuracy.

“He is looking for a wife, Ban. I’m sure you realize that his reputation is ruined and most families won’t invite him to even a musicale.”

“Well, then he shouldn’t have impaled his best friend with a sword.”

Jennette closed her eyes and pressed her lips together. The image of standing over John as he fell to the grassy field was too much for her. She could still smell the repugnant odor of blood. The red liquid flowed from his body like a river rushing to the ocean. For as long as she lived, she would never forget the look of shock on his face. Or his last gasp for breath with a rapier impaled in his lung.

Suddenly, Banning pulled her into his arms. “I’m sorry, Jen.”

“He was such a good man.” And she had killed him.

“I know. He didn’t deserve to die so young.”

A tear fell down her cheek. Matthew was a good man, too. And he didn’t deserve this, either. If her attention had been on John and not elsewhere, Matthew would never have been put in this position.

“I have to help him find a wife, Banning.”

Her brother drew away and stared down at her. “What?”

“It was an accident. He never would have hurt John. The grass was damp, his foot slipped and John couldn’t react in time.” Every time she told that damning lie, her heart raced with the fear of being discovered.

“They were grown men who should have known better than to practice with swords on wet grass,” Banning said.

Jennette nodded, remembering Matthew’s words of caution to her that morning. “And I suppose you never have made a mistake?”

“That bastard will say anything to clear his name.”

“I was there. I know what happened.”

“I don’t want you anywhere near him,” he said in a ferocious tone.

“It is not your business.” Jennette usually loved a good quarrel with her brother but not tonight. After her encounter with Matthew, her nerves were on edge. “The man’s name has been bruised enough. He needs a wealthy wife to save him from his father and brother’s gambling debts. And I will do my best to find him one.”

Banning crossed his arms over his chest. His blue eyes sparkled with anger as he stared at her. “Just as long as it isn’t you.”

Her lips curved upward. “I have no intention of marrying him.”

“Good.”

She walked toward the door and paused to gather herself.

“What are you going to do?” he asked.

“Find him a bride.”

She just wasn’t certain which of her friends to try first. Elizabeth, while the daughter of a duke, had strangely been left out of her father’s will. With only her allowance, Jennette didn’t believe Elizabeth would be wife material for Matthew.

Then there was Sophie. As the bastard daughter of an actress and some nameless earl, she had plenty of money from her father, but no real respectability. Matthew needed a woman with both.

With Avis married to Banning, that left Victoria. Jennette frowned in thought. Something about Victoria created doubt in Jennette. She was the daughter of a vicar who supposedly had given her enough money to buy a home, which she converted into an orphanage. However, Victoria was always seeking donations to keep the orphanage open.

Not that she could envision any of them marrying Matthew. Or more specifically, she couldn’t imagine having to watch them with him. Seeing one of her friends come to love and desire him would be far more than she could bear.

As Jennette walked down the hallway, she realized this plan would be much more difficult than she’d impulsively thought. She needed to match him with an acquaintance, not someone with whom she was too close. Entering the ballroom, she scanned the area for anyone she could convince to dance with him. She smiled. No one needed to know who he was tonight.

Miss Lucinda Bartlett stood by the edge of the dance floor longingly watching the quadrille. The daughter of a viscount who reportedly had plenty of money, she might be just the thing. While she wasn’t the most beautiful woman in the room, Lucinda had a quiet sort of beauty that many men respected.

“Lucinda, what are you doing standing on the edge of the dance floor when you could be dancing?” Jennette asked with a smile.

Lucinda’s face fell. “No one has asked me to dance tonight. Apparently, after obtaining the age of six and twenty, I’m no longer in demand.”

“I have a friend here tonight who I know would love to dance with you.” Jennette glanced around for the scoundrel highwayman. After catching his eye, she nodded toward Lucinda.

“Who?”

Jennette laughed at her enthusiasm. “This is a masked ball, Lucinda. I cannot tell you his name.”

Her dull brown eyes lit with excitement. “Where is he?”

“Right here, my dear.” The sound of his deep voice rolled down Jennette’s back until she shivered.

“Oh my,” Lucinda whispered. She leaned forward and said, “Please tell me who he is, Jennette.”

“Not yet,” she replied.

Matthew held out his arm for Lucinda and Jennette watched the pair head for the dance floor. She wondered briefly at the little stab of envy that had pricked her heart, but she quickly brushed aside the feeling.

She had known even five years ago that she and Matthew were never meant to be.

“Did you hear the rumor circulating tonight?” Lucinda asked in a voice barely above a whisper. “It’s quite scandalous.”

“Oh?” Matthew leaned forward as if to listen better. Not that he cared about any gossipmonger’s tale. He’d been on the wrong side of the gossips’ tongues for far too long.

“Someone said they were certain Lord Blackburn was here tonight.” Her eyes widened. “Can you believe he would have the gall to come to Lady Jennette’s ball?”

“Perhaps,” Matthew said tightly. “Just perhaps, the gossips are wrong.”

Her brows knit into a cavernous frown. “Indeed. They have been known to be incorrect at times.”

“Many times.”

“Even still, I should never want to meet that man after what he did to poor Jennette. Can you imagine? The man impaled her betrothed.”

Matthew tried to relax his taut muscles and enjoy the dance. There was no possibility of that with Lucinda defaming him to his face. “Do you think there’s a chance that everything we know about Blackburn is all a falsehood?”

Lucinda looked up at him with confusion. “Whatever do you mean?”

“Maybe things aren’t as they appear with him.”

She shook her head. “The man is a killer. There is nothing more to know about him.”

“I believe you know nothing about the man.”

She glanced around the room and then back at him. She stiffened her back and said, “I am not feeling well. Please return me to my mother.”

“Figured it out, did you?”

“How dare you come here? Jennette will have the vapors just knowing she sent me to the dance floor with the likes of you.”

Matthew hurried to escort her off the dance floor and back to her mother. He should have known this would be the response from any decent woman among the ton. Any woman…except Jennette, his mind countered. Jennette hadn’t run from him. She had even defended him to her brother.

As they reached Lady Bartlett’s position in the matrons’ corner, he attempted to bow over Lucinda’s hand only to have her draw it away.

“Good evening, sir,” she huffed and walked off.

There was no use in staying here any longer. No doubt, the word of his presence would blow about the ballroom with the strength of a gale-force wind. While he should at least thank Jennette for trying, he didn’t wish to bring any gossip down on her. He would sneak out the terrace door, exactly as he’d entered.

Feeling the burning gaze of a hundred guests upon his back, he walked to the door. He made his escape quickly and silently. Or so he’d thought.

“Leaving already?” Jennette stood in the moonlight looking everything like the angel she’d dressed to be tonight. She rubbed her arms as if to keep the cold wind away.

“Yes. I wouldn’t wish to cause you any further distress tonight.”

She lifted one black eyebrow. “Am I to assume the dance with Lucinda didn’t go as I’d planned?”

He approached her slowly. She had matured into an exquisite beauty. She had delicate cheekbones and flawless ivory skin, a mouth too full to be perfect but just right for other things. The white gown outlined her slender body and slight fullness of her breasts. He shook his head to clear it of his sordid thoughts.

“No,” he finally replied. “She determined my identity.”

Jennette sighed, a delicate sound that brought his attention to her full, pink lips again. “I will have to do better at this matchmaking plan.”

He moved a step closer to her, knowing they already stood far too close. “Unless you don’t wish to do better?”

She looked up at him with a start. “What do you mean?”

“Perhaps you don’t want to find me a bride.”

“But…oh, no,” she said with a little smile and a shake of her head. “I will not marry you.”

“Maybe,” he whispered. “But don’t you want to know what you will be missing?”

Her blue eyes sparkled with mischief. “Not particularly.”

He stroked her cheek with his gloved hand until she trembled. “Haven’t you ever wanted a scoundrel in your bed?”

“Like you?”

“Exactly like me.”

Her eyes darkened to the shade of sapphires as her face went somber. “But we both know you really aren’t a scoundrel.”

“If you say so.” He moved away from her, tipped his hat, and walked off the terrace. Before he was too far away, he turned and said, “Please let me know when I should expect another prospective bride.”

“Very well,” she answered. “I will send a note.”

“Or you could call on me in person.”

“You really are a devil, Blackburn.”

“You have no idea, Jennette.” He gave her an exaggerated bow and then walked to the back of the garden. He hopped the stone fence and headed for his crumbling home.

He’d thought this insane attraction to her would have ended after not seeing her for so long. Never had he imagined the draw would be stronger, deeper in an agonizing manner. His body never reacted in such an immediate way with any other woman.

Should he end up married to her, the attraction would make marriage so much more interesting. What was he thinking? He shouldn’t marry her after all they’d been through. The marriage idea was only a threat to get her to help him.

He could never marry her.

After all, she might even find him a suitable bride. Then he wouldn’t have to worry about his own guilt at finding John’s former fiancée the most attractive and desirable woman he’d ever met.