Читать книгу The Prince She Had to Marry - Christine Rimmer - Страница 10

Equally stunned and furious, Lili glared at that shut door.

The hot, impetuous blood she’d inherited from her father spurted dangerously fast through her veins. More than she needed to draw her next breath, she longed to throw back the covers and follow him, to call him all manner of unattractive epithets, to demand that he honor his promises to her, that he at least talk with her….

But Lili was not only a product of her hot-blooded sire. She had her mother’s sweeter, gentler nature to call on, as well. Her mother, of English descent, born Lady Evelyn of Dun-Lyle, never raised her voice. Queen Evelyn had ways other than shouting and carrying on to get the things she wanted from life and from her passionate, stormy-natured husband.

“Never start a fight from a position of weakness, my darling,” Lili’s mother had advised with a Mona Lisa smile. “If you’re going in swinging, make sure you’re standing on firm ground or you’re likely to end up on your ass.”

Lili folded her arms across the front of her virginal nightgown, glared some more at the door Alex had just shut in her face, and admitted to herself that she was definitely in a position of weakness at the moment, that she was in no way on solid ground. If she went storming after him, she’d only come off the fool, the unwanted wife left alone in her marriage bed by her uninterested groom.

She had to give him credit, really. By leaving her alone in his bed, he’d made sex the issue—or rather, his unwillingness to have sex with her, even on their wedding night.

Sex was not the issue, she told herself firmly, although her wounded pride said otherwise. Their marriage, the agreements he’d made concerning their marriage and their innocent baby—those were the real issues. Gently, she laid her hand on her belly. “You, my dearest,” she whispered, “you are what matters most of all.”

All her life, so far, she’d followed blithely wherever her emotions led her. It was a rich and expansive way to live. But now she had the baby—and Alex, too, really—to consider. She needed to be guided more by her lost mother’s example than by that of her passionate father.

Thinking back to the agreements she’d made with her groom the night before, she realized there really had been no mention of sex, or even of the two of them actually sharing a bed. So, to be fair, he had not broken the letter of their bargain—only the spirit of it.

In the morning, however, he was obligated to share breakfast with her. They could talk then.

With a sigh, Lili plumped the pillows and turned off the bedside lamp.

She slept long and deeply.

When she opened her eyes again, it was after ten and the June sunshine streamed in through a space between the heavy, dark window coverings. She sat bolt upright in Alex’s bed and tossed back the covers.

After ten. Breakfast would be late. And her new husband had better be there if he knew what was good for him.

The door to the hallway opened just slightly.

Lili called, “I’m awake. Enter.” The door opened a fraction wider and a small, dark-haired woman in gray entered. Lili yawned and smiled. “Pilar, good morning.”

With a neat little bow and a quietly spoken “ma’am,” Lili’s favorite longtime attendant entered and drew the curtains. Pilar accompanied Lili wherever she traveled. The maid was a treasure—organized, pleasant and helpful. Also ever-available to attend to Lili’s needs was her kinswoman Solange Moltano, her lady-in-waiting. Solange was a bit distant and cool. She and Lili had never really hit it off. Lili traveled without her whenever possible. It hadn’t been that difficult to leave Solange behind this time because her father had spirited her off in the middle of the night.

Pilar said nothing about the absence of Lili’s husband. But Lili caught the look of concern in the maid’s dark eyes for a split second before she hid her true feelings behind a smile. Pilar’s loyalty was absolute, so Lili didn’t worry she might carry tales.

But there were a lot of servants in the Prince’s Palace and news traveled fast between them. The story was supposed to be that she and Alex were madly in love. Who was going to believe the story if it got out that he avoided her bed?

Yes, she and Alex would have a lot to talk about that morning.

She told Pilar what she wanted to wear and then padded barefoot into the bathroom. Within a half hour, she was dressed and ready for the day—ready to have a long talk with Alex about the promises he wasn’t keeping.

But then she emerged from the master bedroom to find that her groom was not in the apartment. There were several rooms. She checked them all. No sign of him. In the two other bedrooms, the beds were already made up—or had not been slept in at all.

The apartment had its own small galley-style kitchen so that the prince who lived there might have his meals prepared separately if he wished. In the kitchen, she found a large, muscular man with a bushy red beard. He was stirring something in a big yellow bowl. He introduced himself as Rufus Thermopolis. He said he loved to cook and would be happy to prepare anything Her Highness might desire.

Lili thanked him and asked for eggs and toast, which she ate at the small table right there in the kitchen. Why stand on ceremony with her husband’s man? And why eat alone in the apartment dining room when she could sit here in the cozy little kitchen and smell the lemon cake Rufus had just popped into the oven?

She debated whether to ask Rufus where her husband might have wandered off to. It was probably safe to be frank with the red-haired giant. Alex wouldn’t have anyone in his quarters he didn’t trust absolutely—well, other than Lili herself, of course. She had no doubt her new husband didn’t trust her one bit.

He also had no compunction about breaking his word to her. At the very least, he could have left her some explanation for his absence. Lili sipped her breakfast tea and admitted that she had to face reality here. Alex had crossed the line between pushing the boundaries of their agreement and breaking faith with her outright.

It was all right, she told herself, although it most definitely wasn’t. He couldn’t avoid her forever. Eventually, he would have to deal with her.

But Alex didn’t deal with her. He ignored her. Actively. He made no pretense of keeping the agreements he’d made with her. All day, he was nowhere to be found. He didn’t return to the apartment until long after dinner. She was waiting up for him in the sitting room.

He appeared dressed in black trousers and a casual knit shirt and her heart did something nerve-racking at the sight of him. Too bad his eyes were as haunted and distant as ever. She had no idea where he’d been all day and well into the evening.

She rose when he came in. “Alex.” With a supreme effort of will, she kept her voice calm and even. “I’m very angry with you. This is all wrong. You haven’t kept your word to me.”

He actually had the stones to shrug. And he said, with nerve-flaying reasonableness, “I needed for you to marry me, for the child’s sake.”

Her throat clutched. She longed to clear it with a nice, long, loud shriek of outrage. But she didn’t. She remembered her mother, who never raised her voice, and her unborn baby, who deserved better from her. “So you lied to me.” She gave him back his damnable reason, and then some. “Straight to my face, without a qualm. You lied to me. You made promises you had no intention of keeping.”

“Spare me the drama, Lili.”

Her adrenaline spiked. She sucked in a calming breath and refused to give in to it. “Drama?”

“Drama, yes. Your stock in trade.”

“I beg your pardon. I’m not being dramatic. I have not raised my voice. I have not picked up a single object to hurl at that obstinate head of yours. I am simply asking you, why did you lie to me?”

“I just told you why I lied. You left me no choice.”

“Don’t you talk to me about choices, Alexander. You had a choice. You could have been truthful. You could have told me honestly that you had no intention of ever making any effort to be a real husband to me.”

^“And have you do something ridiculous, like run away or stage a big scene where you swore publicly never to marry me? No. There needed to be a marriage, and with as little fuss as possible. We owed that to the child. If you’re not happy with the way things are, so be it. Divorce me.”

She gasped and sputtered. “Oh, you ought to be ashamed.”

“I’m not ashamed. Not in the least. And as far as the divorce goes, consider the child, won’t you? Wait until he’s born, so his legitimacy will never be at issue.”

“You know very well I don’t believe in divorce. Marriage is forever.”

“What can I say? So then, get used to the way things are. Go about living your life and I will go about living mine.”

Lili shook her head. “I do not believe this. The way you manipulated me, that was so … clever,” she said in disgust. “The way you bargained with me, the way you refused to read books on love and marriage or to see a counselor or a priest …”

He arched a brow. “I had to make you believe I actually intended to do what you asked of me, to try, as you put it. If I’d given you an easy agreement to everything you demanded, you would only have become suspicious. You’d have guessed that I didn’t have any intention of doing what I agreed to do.”

She did more deep breathing. “You are impossible. Incorrigible.”

“Good night, Lili.” He started to turn.

She reached out and grabbed his granite slab of an arm. “Wait.”

He stopped, eased his arm free of her grip and told her flatly, “There’s nothing more to say.”

“Yes, there is. I have a... question, a question that’s been bothering me for weeks now.”

“Lili, please …”

She wanted to cry, to break down and sob her heart out. But somehow, she controlled herself. She held the tears at bay. “I just … I don’t understand, Alex. Why in the world did you have sex with me in the first place?”

That got to him. He actually looked at a loss for a moment. But then he regained his inhuman composure. He said in a tone that spoke of limitless boredom, “I’m a man. You’re a woman. It happens.”

“No. Uh-uh. That’s not good enough. What happened between us that morning was so hopelessly mad, so completely insane. And so very beautiful.”

“Lili, don’t.” His voice had a ragged edge to it now.

And she refused to back off. “I mean it. It makes no sense. It’s true you’re not smooth or romantic by nature. You’re hardly the kind who sweeps a woman off her feet. You’re more the type to knock her down and drag her off to your cave. But you are a prince. Women love princes. And there are a lot of women—beautiful, desirable women—who find the strong and surly type irresistible. You could have slaked your lust with one of them.”

He actually blinked. “Slaked my lust?”

“Well, I mean, if lust was your problem that day.”

“My … What in the … My lust?” Now he was the one sputtering.

Truth to tell, she found his sudden agitation rather satisfying. “I’m only remarking that you could have been with someone you don’t totally despise, someone on birth control, for heaven’s sake.”

He blinked some more. “That’s a ridiculous question—or did you even ask a question?”

“I did. I asked you why you had sex with me. Why, Alex? Just tell me why.”

He narrowed those strange, piercing eyes at her. They were looking considerably more lively than usual, those eyes of his. He hedged, “It’s a ridiculous question.”

She didn’t give in. “No, it’s not. Answer me.”

Of course he just had to turn it around on her. “Why did you have sex with me?”

She hitched up her chin at him. “You’re just trying to put me off.”

“You don’t have an answer, do you?” he asked smugly. “I see no reason why I should have to answer a question you can’t even answer yourself.”

As it happened, she did have an answer to her own question. She’d spent a lot of time pondering that one. “All right. Fine. I’ll go first. I had sex with you because I was sad and desperate, because I’d lost Rule, and was having to admit that I’d never had Rule, that I’d believed myself in love with someone who never thought of me that way, someone with whom I’d never shared anything but a … mutual fondness. And then you let me in your door, you listened to me. Or so I thought. Until you finally spoke and told me how my ‘petty problems’ meant nothing. I was outraged then. That I had been such a fool as to cry in front of you, as to pour out my suffering to someone like you. I raised my hand to slap you and you caught my wrist and … all at once, I looked in your eyes and I wanted to be lost in them. So I was. For a little while.”

He seemed calmer suddenly. And not in a good way. For a moment, she’d had his attention, raised a spark. But now, he’d shut her out, retreated behind his walls of nonresponsiveness again. “My reasons were similar to yours,” he said evenly.

“Oh, please. What hopeless love had you lost?”

“Not love. Not that kind of love. But I have … lost.”

She understood then. “Your friend. Your American friend …”

That did it. His eyes went flat. Whatever opening she’d had with him, so briefly, was completely gone. His mind and heart were shut tight against her.

He said, “I’ll tell you once more. We needed to be married. That’s the end of it as far as I’m concerned. We can stay married and lead our own separate lives. Or not. That will be your choice.”

“I do not believe this is happening.”

“Believe it,” he said.

“You’re a liar.”

He didn’t even flinch. “Call me what you will.”

“I thought that … Well, as much as I’ve always disliked your judgmental pronouncements and superior attitude toward me, I held on to the belief that you were a man of integrity. That your word was your bond. Never would I have pegged you as someone who would lie outright, who would make a bargain and then renege on it without a second thought. But I see I was wrong. I see that I’ve married a man who will blithely lie if he thinks a lie is ‘necessary.’ I can’t even trust you to keep your word. And if I can’t trust you to keep your word, Alex, what is the point of even trying with you?”

He tipped his big head to the side and asked, “Is that a real question?”

“Yes, of course it is.”

“Then here’s your answer, Lili. There is no point in trying with me. Stop wasting your breath and your overwrought emotions. Good night.” And with that, he turned on his heel and left her.

She didn’t try to stop him that time. She knew he would only shake off her grip and keep walking.

Yes, she did long to trail after him. She hated giving up. Even now, when he’d made it so achingly clear that he was never going to be a real husband to her, she wanted to follow him, to confront him again, to insist that he talk with her, that he come to some sort of real understanding with her. And failing understanding, she longed to call him any number of horrible names and perhaps throw some small, heavy figurine at his head.

But then she thought of her mother who would never resort to screaming fits or tantrums or displays of violence. Her beloved, lost mum never even had to raise her voice to get her man’s attention. Lili thought of her baby who deserved a mother in command of her emotions. She said a prayer for patience to the Holy Virgin. And she told herself that if she had nothing else at that moment, she had her dignity.

And then she went to the bedroom Alex was apparently never going to share with her and got out her electronic reading device and read a long, delicious romance. In that romance the heroine was fearless and clever and so very resourceful, a woman who saved her hero’s life when they were stranded in the jungle. The handsome, wealthy hero thought he knew everything. At first. There was lovely, snappy dialogue and things got pretty rough for the two of them. Lili almost worried that they wouldn’t end up together. But by the end, love saved the day. The pair settled down to share a lifetime of wedded happiness.

Life should be more like a romance novel. Lili truly believed that.

She put her e-reader away and turned out the light and did her best not to think about Alex, about how she probably should have guessed what he was up to when he promised to try and make a real marriage with her. After all, she’d known him her whole life. He’d been the bane of her existence for as long as she could remember. He’d been telling her not to be a fool, not to be so silly, not to make up stories, not to cry and carry on since … well, since forever.