Читать книгу Maids Under The Mistletoe Collection - Christy McKellen - Страница 19

CHAPTER TEN

EMMA GOT OFF the plane in Bergerac, head-weary and heart-sore.

The very moment she saw her mother’s anxious face in the crowd of people waiting to pick up the new arrivals at the airport, the swell of emotion that she’d been keeping firmly tamped down throughout the journey finally broke through. Tears flowed freely down her face as she ran into her mother’s arms and held onto her tightly, burying her face in the soft wool of her jumper and breathing in her comforting scent.

‘Darling, darling! What’s wrong? I was so worried when I picked up your message. Is everything okay?’ her mother muttered into her hair.

It took the whole of the thirty-minute journey to her mother’s house in the tiny village of Sainte-Alvère for Emma to explain—in a halting monologue broken with tears—about the marriage and aborted elopement and all that had happened to her since Jack had made his shocking reappearance.

Her mother listened in silence. Only once Emma had finished did she reach out her hand to cover her daughter’s in a show of understanding and solidarity.

It was such a relief to finally talk to her mother about it all. She apologised profusely for keeping her in the dark for all this time, but, in a surprising show of self-awareness, her mother seemed more concerned with apologising to Emma for not being there to support her through such tough times.

A little while later they were ensconced on her mother’s plant-pot-filled terrace sitting under thick woollen blankets, looking out over the fields behind the house with steaming cups of coffee cradled in their hands.

Philippe, her stepfather, had taken one look at her tear-stained face and promptly left the house so that she and her mother could talk on their own.

‘Poor, Philippe, I hope he doesn’t feel like I’ve chased him out of his own home,’ Emma said, grimacing at her mother. ‘He must still be in pain with his leg.’

‘Don’t be silly,’ her mother said, flapping a hand. ‘It’s good for him to get out after being stuck here with just me for company for the last few days. He’ll be much happier at the bar with Jean.’

Emma stared into the distance, watching the birds wheel in dizzying circles over a copse of trees as dusk fell, bathing the autumnal landscape in a soft, hazy glow.

‘You know, I keep asking myself why Jack would want to be with a lowly waitress when he’s a billionaire earl,’ she said quietly, turning to flash her mother a crooked smile.

Her mother frowned and swatted her hand dismissively. ‘He won’t be with a waitress, he’ll be with you,’ she said fiercely. ‘What you do for a living has no bearing whatsoever on you as a person. I’m sure he’ll tell you the same.’

Emma sighed and pulled the blanket tighter around her. ‘Yeah, I know that really. It’s just—’ She paused, then said in a rush, ‘What if it all went wrong again?’

Her mother smiled sadly. ‘That’s the chance you take when you fall in love. It’s terrifying to make yourself vulnerable like that, but you know what? I was more afraid of what would happen to me if I didn’t allow myself to have a relationship with Philippe. It was a good instinct to trust in his love because he brought me alive again.’

She watched her mother smooth her hands over the blanket on her lap.

‘I still had to take a leap of faith when he asked me to marry him though,’ her mother said, glancing at her with a small frown.

Emma tried to smile, but the muscles around her mouth refused to work, so she stared down at her hands in her lap instead, trying to get herself under control.

‘Imagine the alternative, Emma,’ her mother said, obviously noticing her distress. ‘Imagine what you’ll lose if you turn him away because you’ve given in to your fear. Imagine how that will make you feel. It’ll eat away at you, darling—the “What if?”’

When she looked up she was surprised to see tears in her mother’s eyes.

‘This is all my fault. I should have been stronger for you when your father passed away, Emma. You were too young to take on all that responsibility by yourself—you were just a baby.’

Emma frowned. ‘You weren’t well, Mum. It wasn’t your fault.’

Her mother shook her head, her bottom lip trembling. Lifting a hand, she touched her fingers softly to Emma’s cheek. ‘You lost your youth and innocence too early and look what it’s done to you. You can’t even let yourself be loved by a man who’s perfect for you. You should. Give him a chance to prove himself to you, Emma. You owe him that much at least. You owe it to yourself to be happy.’

The memory of the hurt on Jack’s face suddenly flashed across her vision, causing the hollow ache in her chest to throb and intensify.

Poor Jack.

He’d opened his heart to her and she’d pushed him away.

Again.

It had to have been just as hard for him to let himself fall in love with her again after the way she’d let him down, but he’d trusted his heart to her anyway, making the ultimate sacrifice.

Could she really not do the same for him?

Taking a long, deep breath, she felt determination start to course through her veins.

After everything she’d been through, was she really going to deny herself the chance to carve out a happy and rewarding life for herself?

In that moment she knew deep down that she wanted to be with Jack, she loved him and it was worth risking her heart if it meant she got the chance to be with him again.

But would Jack still want her after all she’d put him through?

There was only one way to find out.

She was going to have to go home and ask him.

* * *

His house, which had come alive with the addition of Emma’s vibrant presence, felt still and vacant without her.

Lying awake until the early hours, tossing and turning in his empty bed, Jack relived the way Emma had rebuffed his affection with such vehement dismissal over and over again.

His stomach ached with misery as he finally gave up on sleep and made his way to his office at three in the morning.

He spent the rest of the early hours working on a project that had taken second place in his attention ever since Emma had reappeared in his life. Keeping busy had helped him the last time she’d left him, for a while at least, but it didn’t seem to hold the same restorative powers any more.

Where was his wife?

He pictured her sleeping on one of her friends’ sofas, getting on with her life without him. Going back to work for some idiot like Fitzherbert again. Keeping him well and truly out of the picture, only to turn up one day with divorce papers in her hands.

Finally, giving up on the hope of concentrating on anything else, he went to lie on the sofa and put the television on, staring at the news channel with unseeing eyes until exhaustion finally overtook him and dragged him into a restless sleep.

He woke a few hours later with a start, blearily checking his phone to realise with a shock that it was lunchtime.

Pulling himself into a sitting position, he was just about to haul himself up and go and make some strong coffee in the kitchen when a movement in the corner of his eye made him start in surprise.

Jumping to his feet, he turned to see Emma standing in the doorway, looking at him with a hesitant smile.

‘You came back,’ was all he could utter past the huge lump in his throat, the unexpected sight of her standing there in front of him making him stupid with relief.

She walked tentatively into the room towards him, as if she wasn’t sure what sort of reaction to expect. ‘I’m so sorry I left, Jack.’ She visibly swallowed. ‘I was scared. Terrified to let myself love you again.’ Breaking eye contact, she turned to glance out of the window, and let out a low laugh. ‘Not that I ever really stopped.’

He stared at her, not sure whether to believe what he was hearing in case his addled brain was playing cruel tricks on him.

‘Are you okay?’ she asked shakily, turning back, her nose wrinkled with worry.

He continued to stare at her, only becoming aware that he was frowning when he noticed the anxiety in her expression.

Finally managing to pull himself together, he walked to meet her in the middle of the room and raised his hand to touch her soft cheek with his fingertips.

‘Are you really here?’ he murmured.

She laughed quietly and he saw relief in her face. ‘It looks like I woke you. Did you sleep on the sofa all night?’ she asked, her eyes clouding with concern.

He glanced back towards the rumpled cushions. ‘Er...no. I couldn’t sleep so I got up and worked, then I dozed off in here this morning.’ He shook his head, trying to clear it. ‘Where did you go?’

‘To France. To see my mother.’

He nodded. ‘Did you tell her about us?’

She smiled sheepishly. ‘I did. She was really supportive. She basically told me to stop being such an idiot and to come back to the man I love.’

* * *

Emma couldn’t help but smile at the almost comical look of relief on Jack’s face.

‘I guess I owe you an explanation about what got me so spooked,’ she said, waiting until he’d nodded before continuing.

She played with a loose thread on the sleeve of her jumper, summoning the courage to speak.

‘I think losing you and my father in such quick succession must have damaged me on a fundamental level.’

She rubbed a hand over her face, letting out a low sigh.

‘Ever since then I’ve been terrified of putting myself in a position where I have to trust my heart to someone again.’

He looked down at her with a small pinch between his brows. ‘I understand that, Emma. It makes total sense after everything you’ve been through.’

‘When it looked like it might be possible to have you again I panicked,’ she said with a sad smile. ‘I wanted you so much it scared me. I think I was afraid to be happy in case it was all whipped away from me again.’

She took a deep shaky breath.

‘You know, the day we got married I couldn’t quite believe I could be so lucky as to have you. You were everything I’d ever wanted and when I looked at you I could see a bright shiny future shimmering in front of me. And then when it was whisked away from under my nose I sincerely wondered whether I was being punished for something. Up till then I’d led such a charmed life and just taken and taken without appreciating how much I had. Perhaps I was being penalised for my selfishness?’

‘You weren’t being selfish, you were living the life you’d been dealt and what happened was just really bad luck. It wasn’t your fault. None of it was your fault.’

He sighed and frowned down at the floor, then looked up at her again with one eyebrow cocked.

‘Pretending we were happily reconciled to everyone was a ridiculous thing to put ourselves through,’ he said with a sigh. ‘We should have been braver and talked about how we really felt, honestly and openly, instead of hiding and pretending there wasn’t anything between us any more.’

He ran a hand through his hair, then scrubbed it across his face.

‘I don’t know what I was thinking, imagining I could have you living here, so close, without it driving me crazy with longing for you.’

Reaching out for her, he slid his hands around her waist and drew her nearer to him.

‘Let’s make a pact to deal with anything that comes at us together from this point on. We can take things as slowly as you like—take time to get to know each other properly again. I’m more than prepared to do that, Em. I just want you back in my life.’

There was a heavy beat of silence where they stared into each other’s eyes.

‘I love you, Emma,’ Jack murmured.

She smiled as joy flooded through her. ‘You really still love me after what I’ve just put you through?’

‘Are you kidding? I’ve never not loved you.’

He gave her a squeeze. ‘I’m in awe of you and what you’ve achieved on your own—what you must have gone through to pay off those debts and what you’ve given up to do that. A lesser person would have thrown in the towel a long time ago. But you didn’t and I have the utmost respect for you for that.’

She cupped his jaw in her hands, feeling his unshaven bristles tickling her palms. ‘Thank you for saying that. It means a lot.’

She felt his chin slide beneath her touch as he turned his head until his lips came into contact with her palm. He kissed her there lightly, before turning back to look at her again.

‘You know I’ll support you in whatever you want to do, don’t you?’

She flashed him a smile, excitement making her heart race. ‘Actually, I’ve been wondering about training to be an interior designer. I’d have to go to college and become qualified for it, but I think it’s something I’d love to do for a living.’

He nodded. ‘If that’s what you want I’ll support you one hundred per cent with it. You can practise on this place if you like. As you’ve seen, it needs a lot more tender loving care upstairs, so perhaps you could fix the rest of it up as a practice project.’

‘I would love that,’ she said, a surge of joy lifting her onto her toes to kiss him.

His mouth was warm and firm and she sighed with relief as she felt his lips open under hers. And then he was kissing her fiercely, as if he never wanted to stop.

It felt so right, so absolutely right that it dragged all the breath from her lungs and the blood from her head, sending her dizzy with happiness. She knew with absolute certainty now that this was exactly where she was meant to be—in Jack’s arms.

Finally, he drew away from her and she almost complained bitterly about the loss of his mouth on hers, until he pulled her tightly against his chest and held her there, safe in his embrace while they swayed gently together on the spot.

They stayed like that for a long time, feeling the beat of each other’s hearts under their palms and listening to the gentle exhalation of their breath.

She knew then that she was never going to walk away from this man ever again.

On a sigh of satisfaction, Jack finally drew back and brought both hands up to cup her chin, gazing down into her eyes. ‘I love you, Emma Westwood.’

Looking up into his handsome face, a face she knew as well as her own, she smiled at him with everything she had. ‘I love you too.’

This admission seemed to galvanise something in him. Releasing his hold on her, he got down on one knee and looked up at her with resolution in his eyes.

‘Well, in that case, will you renew your marriage vows with me?’

She looked down at the man she loved—had always loved—and knew in her heart that remaining married to him, fighting any battles she might encounter in the future with him there at her side, would make her the happiest woman on earth.

‘I will!’

A wide smile of relief broke over Jack’s face and he stood up and lifted her off the ground, hugging her fiercely to him.

‘It looks like we’ve got another job to do, then—planning our vow renewal ceremony, which apparently is happening some time in the new year,’ he said, pulling back to grin at her. ‘Do you know anyone that can help us out with that?’

Emma smiled, imagining the looks of delight on Sophie, Grace and Ashleigh’s faces when she asked for their assistance.

‘I know exactly the right people to ask,’ she said, bouncing up and down on the spot in her excitement. ‘I can’t wait to tell the girls our news. They’re going to be thrilled!’

Jack smiled at her, his face alive with happiness, then drew her towards him, pressing his mouth to hers and sealing their future with a kiss to end all kisses.

* * * * *