Читать книгу Mills & Boon Showcase - Christy McKellen - Страница 14

CHAPTER EIGHT

EVERY TIME THE old-fashioned bell on the top of the entrance door to Bay Books jangled Sandy looked up, heart racing, body tensed in anticipation. And every time it wasn’t Ben she felt so let down she had to force herself to smile and cheerfully greet the customers, hoping they wouldn’t detect the false note to her voice.

When would he come? Surely he wanted to be with her as much as she ached to be with him?

Or was he staying away because she had driven him away, by coming on too strong before he was ready? His reaction had both surprised and hurt her. Why had he been so uncertain about taking this second, unexpected chance with her? It was only for four days. Surely they could handle that?

She knew she should stop reliving every moment on the beach this morning over and over again, as if she were still eighteen. But she couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss. That wonderful, wonderful kiss. After all those years it could have been a let-down. But kissing Ben again had been everything she had ever fantasised about. In his arms, his mouth claiming hers, she’d still felt the same heady mix of comfort, pleasure and bone-melting desire. It was as if their twelve-year separation had never happened.

Although there was a difference. Now she wanted him with an adult’s hunger—an adult’s sensual knowledge of the pleasures that could follow a kiss.

She remembered how on fire with first-time desire she’d felt all that time ago, when they’d been making out behind the boat shed. Or in the back seat of his father’s car, parked on the bluff overlooking the ocean. They hadn’t even noticed the view. Not that they could have seen it through the fogged-up windows.

And yet she hadn’t let him go all the way. Hadn’t felt ready for that final step. Even though she had been head-over-heels in love with him.

Her virginal young self hadn’t appreciated the effort it must have taken for Ben to hold back. ‘When you’re ready,’ he’d always said. Not like her experiences with boys in Sydney—‘suitable’ sons of her fathers’ friends—all grabby hands and then sulks when she’d slapped them away. No. Ben truly had been her Sir Galahad on a surfboard.

Would a four-day fling include making love with Ben? That might be more than she—or Ben—could handle. They should keep it to kissing. And talking. And lots of laughing. Like it had been back then. Carefree. Uncomplicated.

She refused to listen to that nagging internal voice. Could anything be uncomplicated with the grown-up Ben?

She forced her thoughts back to the present and got on with her work. She had to finish the job Ida had been in the middle of when she’d fallen—unpacking a delivery and slotting the books artfully onto the ‘new releases’ table.

Just minutes later, with a sigh of satisfaction, she stepped back to survey her work. She loved working in the bookshop. Even after just a few hours she felt right at home. The individuality and quirkiness of Ida’s set-up connected with her, though she could immediately see things she’d like to change to bring the business model of this bricks-and-mortar bookstore more in step to compete with the e-bookstores. That said, if she could inject just a fraction of Bay Books’ charm into her candle shop she’d be very happy. She must write in her fairy notebook: Ask Ida about Balinese woodcarvers.

But it wasn’t just about the wooden dolphins with their enchanting carved smiles. The idyllic setting was a vital part of Bay Books. Not, she suspected, to be matched by the high-volume-retail-traffic Melbourne mall the candle people would insist on for their shop. It might be hard to get as excited about that.

Here, she only had to walk over to the window to view the quaint harbour, with the old-fashioned stone walls that sheltered it from the turquoise-blue waters of the open sea—only had to push the door open to hear the squawk of seagulls, breathe in the salt-tangy air.

This morning, in her hotel room, she had been awoken by a chorus of kookaburras. When she’d opened the sliding doors to her balcony it had been to find a row of lorikeets, the small, multi-coloured parrots like living gems adorning the balcony railing. On her way to the beach she’d surprised two small kangaroos, feeding in the grass in the bushland between the boardwalk and the sand dunes of Big Ray. It was good for the soul.

What a difference from fashionable, revitalised inner-city Surry Hills, where she lived in Sydney. It had more restaurants, bars and boutiques than she would ever have time to try. But it was densely populated and in summer could be stiflingly hot and humid. Driving round and round the narrow streets, trying to find somewhere to park her car, she’d sometimes dreamed of living in a place closer to nature.

And here she was back in Dolphin Bay, working in a stranger’s bookshop, reconnecting with her first love.

It seemed surreal.

She paused, a paperback thriller in her hand. Remembered her pink-inked resolution. Get as far away from Sydney as possible.

That didn’t necessarily have to mean moving to Melbourne.

But she had only ever been a city girl. Could she settle for small-town life and the restrictions that entailed?

The bell sounded again. She looked up, heart thudding, mouth suddenly dry. But again it wasn’t Ben. It was red-haired Kate, the waitress from the hotel.

‘Hey, nice to see you, Kate,’ she said, masking her disappointment that the woman wasn’t her tall blond surf god.

‘You too,’ said Kate. ‘We all love this shop and the personal service Ida gives us. It’s great you’re able to help her out.’

‘Isn’t it? I’m getting the hang of things. Can I help you with a book?’ she asked.

Kate smiled and Sandy wondered if she could tell how inexperienced a shopkeeper she was.

‘Ida ordered some titles for me, but in all the drama yesterday I didn’t get a chance to see if they were in.’

‘Sure,’ said Sandy, heading behind the counter to access Ida’s computer. She had the special orders file open when Kate leaned towards her over the carved wooden counter.

‘So, I heard you and Ben were kissing on the beach this morning.’

Sandy was so flabbergasted she choked. She coughed and spluttered, unable to utter a word in response.

Kate rushed around the counter and patted Sandy’s back until her breath came more easily.

‘Thanks,’ Sandy finally managed to choke out.

‘Don’t be so surprised. News travels fast in Dolphin Bay.’

Sandy took another ragged breath. ‘I’m beginning to see that.’

Kate’s green eyes gleamed. ‘So you were kissing Ben?’

Again Sandy was too aghast to reply. ‘Well, I...’ she started.

‘She who hesitates is thinking of how to tell me to mind my own business,’ said Kate with a grin.

Sandy laughed at her audacity. ‘Well, now that you mention it...’

‘Feel free to tell me to keep my big mouth shut, but...well, I love Ben to pieces and I don’t want—’

Ben and Kate?

Sandy felt dizzy—not from lack of air but from the feeling that her heart had plummeted to the level of her ballet flats. ‘I’m sorry, Kate, I didn’t know... He didn’t say...’

Kate’s auburn eyebrows rose. ‘I don’t mean that kind of love. My mum and Ben’s mum are friends. I grew up with Ben. It’s his brother, Jesse, I have a thing for. Unrequited, unfortunately.’

‘Oh,’ said Sandy, beyond relieved that Kate hadn’t marched into the bookshop to stake a claim on Ben.

Kate leaned closer. ‘You do realise that for Ben to be kissing a woman in public is a big, big deal?’

Sandy took a step back. ‘It was six-thirty in the morning on a practically deserted beach.’

‘That might be private in Sydney, but not in a place like Dolphin Bay. Here, it takes one person to see for everyone to know.’

‘I had no idea.’ Sandy felt suddenly dry in the mouth. What kind of pressure did this put on Ben? On her?

‘You and Ben together is big news.’

‘Then next time—if there is a next time—I’ll make sure we’re completely alone.’

She spoke with such vehemence that Kate frowned and took a step back from her. ‘I’m sorry, Sandy. But this is a small town. We all look out for each other. If you’re not serious about Ben don’t start something you’re not prepared to see through.’

Sandy gripped the edge of the counter. She knew Ben had been to hell and wasn’t yet all the way back. She didn’t need anyone to tell her.

Pointedly, she scrolled through the special orders file on Ida’s computer, looked up again at Kate. ‘I don’t see your order here, but your contact number is. How about I call you when it comes in?’

Kate shifted from foot to foot. ‘You must think I’m the nosiest busybody you’ve ever met.’

Sandy didn’t disagree.

‘But I’ve only got Ben’s interests at heart,’ Kate continued, sounding hurt.

Sandy gentled her tone of voice. ‘I appreciate that.’

She was gratified at Kate’s smile as she said goodbye. Despite the redhead’s total lack of tact, she thought she could get to like her.

But Kate’s visit, with her revelation about the undercurrents of small-town life, had left her reeling. She’d had no idea that any reunion would be conducted under such watchful eyes. What had seemed so simple on the beach at dawn suddenly seemed very complicated.

It made her self-conscious when dealing with the customers who came in dribs and drabs through the doors. Were they genuinely interested in browsing through the books—or in perusing her? Her doubts were realised when two older ladies, hidden from full view behind a display of travel books, spoke in too-loud whispers they obviously thought she couldn’t hear.

‘She seems nice, and Ida likes her,’ said the first one. ‘That’s a point in her favour.’

Sandy held her breath when she realised they were talking about her.

‘It might be a good thing. Ben’s been in mourning for too long. His mother’s worried about him,’ said the other.

‘I wonder what Jodi’s parents will think.’ The first lady sighed. ‘Such a sweet girl. What a loss. No wonder Ben’s stayed on his own all this time.’

Sandy slammed her hand over her mouth so the ladies wouldn’t hear her gasp. Jodi. Ben’s late wife. The gentle woman Ben had loved enough to marry and have a child with.

She stared ahead without seeing. Noticed a poster promoting a bestselling new celebrity biography had come adrift at one corner. But she felt too shaken to do anything about it. Would there always be the memory of another woman coming between her and Ben? Could she cope with coming second? With being just a disposable fling while his wife always held first place in his heart?

She couldn’t meet the ladies’ eyes when they scurried out through the door without buying a book.

An old familiar panic had started to overwhelm her—the same panic she’d used to feel when she’d been faced with those big waves rearing up so aggressively as she’d stood dry-mouthed with terror on the beach. Ben had helped her conquer that fear and discover the joy of riding the waves—and she’d used the memory to help her deal with any number of challenges she’d faced in her career. But now what she’d thought would be smooth water ahead might be filled with swirling undercurrents. Did she have the strength to battle through the rough water?

Was it worth it for a four-day fling?

The bell on the top of the door jangled again. She jumped. More ladies to check her out and assess her suitability?

Ben shouldered his way through the door, carrying two large take-away coffee containers. The smile he gave her made her heart do the flippy thing—backwards, forwards and tumbling over itself. Her breath seemed to accelerate, making her feel light-headed, giddy.

Her surf god. In the flesh and hotter than ever.

He was back in shorts, and a blue polo shirt that hugged the breadth of his shoulders and brought out the blue of his eyes. She preferred the semi-naked beach look, but in true surf god manner he looked wonderful in anything he wore.

She smiled back in her joy at seeing him again. It was four hours and thirty-five minutes since she’d said goodbye to him on the beach.

She prayed no customers would intrude. More than ever she needed to be alone with Ben. To be reassured that the thing between them was worth taking the risks of which she’d been so blithely ignorant.

Kate’s words had hit home. Made her all too aware of the power she had to wound Ben. After all, she was the one who had left him all those years ago. Then he’d been young and untroubled, and still she had hurt him. Now he was anything but untroubled.

Could he deal with a walk-away-from-it fling?

Could she?

The expectations of her were frightening. But what if the reality of Ben didn’t match up to her memories? What if they didn’t have a thing in common and she wanted to run after the first twenty-four hours? What if he wanted her to stay and she hurt him all over again? Or if she fell hard for him again but couldn’t match up to his wife? Then it would be her with her heart broken again.

She caught her breath in what felt dangerously like a sob.

Could she do this?

‘You okay?’

His marvellous blue eyes were warm with concern for her. That sexy, sexy mouth was set in a serious line that just made her want to kiss it into a smile. Wordlessly, she nodded.

Could she not do it?

‘Apparently we were seen on the beach this morning,’ she said.

‘Seen and duly noted. Makes you wonder what else people have to do with their time.’

‘You’re big news in Dolphin Bay.’

He put the coffee down on the counter. ‘You’re bigger news.’

‘Tell me about it. The predatory city slicker hunting down the town’s favourite son.’

She’d meant that to sound like a joke. But as soon as it came out she knew it was anything but funny.

Ben frowned. ‘Did someone say that?’

‘Yes. Well, not in so many words. Kate dropped in.’ She couldn’t help the wobble in her voice.

Why had Kate and those women come in and ruined everything? Made her feel suddenly so self-conscious with Ben?

She just wanted to fall back into his arms and continue where they’d left off this morning. But the exchange she’d overheard had unsettled her.

She bit down on her lower lip and looked up at Ben, not certain what to do next. How could she tell him she was having cold feet because she was so terrified of hurting him? Could she find the courage to ask him about Jodi?