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Nonmembers Anonymous

Hi. My name is Chris. I live in Mayberry, Utah County, Utah, and I’m not a member of the Mormon Church. I’m happy living here. They say admission is the first step.

My husband and I have lived in our small Mormon community since November 2002. We have three sons, a dog, a bird, and a fish. After a job-related move brought us to Utah, we purchased a home in an area that was less religiously diverse than we had anticipated. Everyone was Mormon. Everyone.

I thought I knew more than the average non-Mormon about the Faith, but I was wrong. I didn’t know what a “ward” was, “member” made me think of Costco, and “LDS” sounded like the drug I was afraid to try in college. I assumed all Mormon mothers stayed home with their well mannered, attractive children and pondered what healthy meal they would serve for dinner. I quickly learned the only consistently true words in that last sentence are “attractive children.” I’m still looking for the neighborhood ugly child.

Since our arrival in Utah County, I’ve learned that there is no secret handshake (or is there?), there is not a CIA-type file on our family at the church, members do not receive points on a literal scoreboard for attempts to convert us, and there is diversity within Mormonism. It’s true that Mormons don’t drink alcohol, coffee or tea (cough), and they never use foul language (double cough).

We gradually assimilated into the community, but only after working through subtle culture shock, which included irritation at all things new and different. I counted steeples, rolled my eyes at Costco’s food storage items, and shamelessly stared at the arms and thighs of strangers, searching for garment lines. All of them—steeples, giant cans of peaches, and garments—were reminders of the pervasive religion of which I was not a part. Paranoia that I was only a missionary opportunity made me suspicious of every person’s attempt at friendship.

The culture shock, paranoia, and loneliness I experienced morphed into an understanding and appreciation of the Utah County culture, my community and home. The stories, experiences and perspective in this book are mine only and are based on cultural, not doctrinal, observations. My humble research has revealed that the Church does not support, endorse or encourage intolerance of others’ beliefs, shunning, or naughty behavior in general.

What You Need To Know

1.I am not LDS.

2.My intention is not to debate, dissuade, persuade or change any person’s faith or belief. Who needs a poke in the eye?

3.I have read the Book of Mormon (twice-ish) and sections of the Doctrine and Covenants.

4.I strive not to be a basher. Of anything.

5.I love living where I do and am thankful for my Mormon peeps. Although culturally not for everyone (including some LDS families), life in a small, Utah County town has been—dare I say—a blessing.

We’re frequently asked, “How did you end up here?” and “What’s it really like living here for you guys?” Read along and I’ll tell you.