Читать книгу The Doctor's Runaway Fiancée - Cindy Kirk - Страница 11

Chapter Four

Sylvie had never had an out-of-body experience. But as she lay on the bed with Andrew’s warm, naked body pressed against hers, she wondered if she was having one. For the first time in months she was at peace. If this was what an out-of-body experience felt like, bring it on. For now she would relish the comfort it brought to her.

Gently she glided her hand down his silky hair, then stroked his neck. Sylvie had always loved his body with the broad shoulders and tight abs, the lean hips and muscular legs. The slight patch of chest hair now tickling her breasts was familiar and comforting.

She’d missed him. She’d missed this closeness. She could admit that now. What was the harm? After all, this wasn’t really happening, so she could indulge without guilt. He was her personal two-pound box of chocolates.

She planted a kiss against his neck and sighed. There had been only one man before Andrew, a boy in high school. That mistake had steered her away from intimate relationships for many years. Until Andrew had strode into the bakery where she’d been working.

Sylvie remembered that day as if it had just happened. The second she saw him, the air that had smelled of cinnamon and yeasty goodness had begun to sizzle. She’d been so taken aback by the unexpected sensations flooding her body that she’d barely spoken. He came back the next day and the next. After a week they’d been conversing easily and indulging in some flirting.

When he asked her out to dinner, she’d said yes. It had been the beginning of a free fall she’d been powerless to stop.

If she’d only known then what she knew now, would she have had sex with him that night?

She started to sigh and then realized she couldn’t quite draw a deep breath.

“I’m crushing you.” The deep voice sounded near her ear, and suddenly the pressure against her body was gone, along with the comforting warmth.

Sylvie’s blood turned ice-cold. She blinked once. Blinked again. Those piercing gray eyes remained focused on her face.

With a hand that trembled slightly, she reached out and touched his bare shoulder. Only then was she forced to accept he wasn’t an apparition but a flesh-and-blood man.

I slept with Andrew.

Desperately needing to put some distance between them, she placed both hands against his chest and gave a hard push. To her amazement he tumbled off the bed and landed on the floor with a loud thud.

She’d forgotten the size of the bed and hadn’t considered that the only place for him to go was off the side. Lifting herself up on one elbow, Sylvie leaned over.

A wry smile lifted Andrew’s lips as he pushed himself up to a sitting position. “If you’d wanted me off the bed, you could have just asked.”

“You are really here.”

He smiled. “As opposed to...?”

Warmth flooded her face. “This.” She gestured with one hand between her and him. “It felt like a dream.”

A look she couldn’t quite decipher—and wasn’t convinced she wanted to figure out—crossed his face. Before saying another word, he rose to his feet and began pulling on his clothes.

She took the opportunity to do the same.

“The sex was always good between us.” He tossed out the comment and finished buttoning his shirt.

She tugged on her shoes. No point denying the obvious. “It was.”

As if wanting to relax the suddenly tense atmosphere, Andrew took a seat on the rickety chair and gazed unsmiling at her. “Tell me why you left.”

Though he hadn’t come right out and said “tell me why you left me,” the accusation hung in the air between them.

Feeling already a little weak in the knees, Sylvie plopped down on the edge of the bed and turned to face him. “I sent you a text—”

“We were engaged to be married and you sent me a text.” Despite his calm demeanor, ice-cold fury underscored the words.

Sylvie resisted the almost overpowering urge to wring her hands. And her second impulse, which was to flee.

You’re getting real good at running, he’d told her. The words—and her fear they might prove true—had her staying put.

“Leaving that way was my only choice.” She lifted her chin, met his steely-eyed look with an unflinching one of her own. “I was concerned if we spoke face-to-face you might change my mind.”

“Were you?”

Sylvie shivered at the coldness in his tone, at the hot anger in his eyes. She couldn’t recall ever seeing him like this before. The Andrew O’Shea she knew was always so affable. An easygoing guy with a warm smile.

He wasn’t smiling now.

“Don’t you think, after all we shared, you owed me more than a text?” He spit the last word as if the taste was bitter as anise on his tongue.

“I wasn’t the woman you thought I was,” she said. “You fell in love with someone who didn’t—doesn’t—exist.”

The fact that he’d been willing to sever relationships in his family for her sent a chill down Sylvie’s spine.

“You’re right about one thing.” Andrew leaned forward. He rested his forearms on his thighs, his gaze never leaving her face. “I don’t know you. The woman I thought I knew would never have walked away from me without an explanation.”

Anger resonated strongly in his voice, but it was the hint of hurt she heard that had shame coursing through her veins like milk gone sour.

“You owe me an explanation.” Abruptly he sat back. “I’m not leaving without one.”

This was good, Sylvie reassured herself even as panic threatened. It was best they clear the air, so they could both move on. The trouble was, how much to tell?

As if he sensed her hesitation, his gaze sharpened. “The truth, Sylvie.”

Her laugh, intended to sound casual, reverberated with nerves instead. “Do you want me to put my hand on a Bible and raise my right hand?”

“Don’t be flippant.”

Sylvie didn’t feel flippant, just incredibly weary. And sad. Sad that their once bright and shiny relationship had become tarnished with guilt and recriminations.

She straightened her shoulders and drew in a steadying breath. Hadn’t she always told herself she couldn’t go wrong telling the truth? But if she told him about the conversation she’d overheard, he might be angry with his father.

No, she didn’t have to tell Andrew the whole truth, just enough so her leaving would make sense.

“You were like no man I’d ever known.”

“You haven’t known all that many.”

Sylvie flushed, realizing they were talking apples and oranges. “I wasn’t referring to intimately.”

Andrew already knew she’d been a neophyte in the sexual arena when she met him. One time with a seventeen-year-old boy didn’t make a girl an accomplished lover. In fact, when Andrew and she made love, it had felt like her first time.

“I was referring to the kind of men I’d grown up around.” Her lips curved in a slight smile as she remembered the first time she’d seen him. “You dazzled me.”

He didn’t return the smile, only continued to stare intently at her face.

She licked her lips. The words that she’d hoped would smoothly flow seemed to have hit a logjam. “I—I’d never known anyone like you.”

“You say that as if it’s a bad thing.”

“I’d worked hard to get through high school and then through the culinary institute. I’d always been proud of my success. But when I was around you... I felt...less.”

Andrew had admired her work, but she knew he’d thought it was just a hobby. That misconception wasn’t his fault. She’d kept just how much it mattered from him. Looking back, she wasn’t sure why she’d never told him that her art—her baking—was what had sustained her during all the lonely years she’d been on her own.

His gaze sharpened. “You think I didn’t appreciate all you’d achieved?”

“Not you.” Dumping this into his lap would serve no purpose. “Forget it.”

“My family?” he pressed.

She thought of his mother and father. Though they’d been less than thrilled about their son becoming engaged to a woman outside their social circle—and putting that ring on her finger within months of meeting her—they’d been cordial. Besides, she firmly believed nobody could make you feel inferior without your permission.

“It wasn’t anything anyone did or said.” She placed her open palm against her heart. “It was me. This is such a cliché, but I felt like a square peg about to be pounded into a round hole.”

She wasn’t sure what she expected him to say. Perhaps nod and say he understood? Or maybe agree that indeed they were so different it amazed him their relationship had lasted as long as it had?

Instead Andrew steepled his fingers beneath his chin and gazed at her like a scientist must study a bug under a microscope. “You never said a word about those feelings, at least not to me.”

The censure in the calmly spoken words stung like a hard slap.

“Being around your family and friends that night made me realize that you belonged with someone more like, well, like Audrey.” Sylvie closed her eyes for a second, struggling against the grief welling up inside her. Though she hadn’t known Audrey Cabot long, she’d liked her and considered her a friend.

“I never thought of Audrey in that way. She was a friend, nothing more.”

It wasn’t only her grief simmering just below the surface. The pain in Andrew’s eyes told her just how much Audrey’s recent death from cancer had impacted him.

“You can’t honestly believe there was anything between us,” he added.

“No, I know there wasn’t.” Sylvie had believed him when he’d denied any romantic interest in Audrey, but that didn’t mean she didn’t think they would have made a great couple. “I just mentioned her because Audrey always seemed more—”

She paused, searching for the right word.

He arched an eyebrow. “My type?”

“Exactly.” She nodded, pleased he was finally getting the gist of what she was saying. “While I admit that you and I have amazing chemistry when it comes to sex, I think some of our decisions to get so close so fast was based on that chemistry. It wasn’t as if you really knew me.”

But really, whose fault was that? She was the one who’d held back, who hadn’t let him get to know her fully.

Andrew’s eyebrows pulled together in a puzzled frown. He rubbed his chin and his expression changed from puzzled to thoughtful.

“I couldn’t imagine the woman I loved leaving me like that...and then sending me a text.” His laugh didn’t contain even an ounce of humor. “I didn’t even rate a Dear John letter.”

The knowledge that she’d hurt him stung. Bringing Andrew pain had never been her intention. She loved him. She wanted only the best for him.

Unfortunately, it had become apparent—to everyone but him—that she wasn’t what was best for him.

“I’m glad I came to Jackson Hole and we had this talk.”

Sylvie nodded.

“I’m also glad that we had sex.”

She cocked her head.

“It reminded me just how powerful the chemistry is between us.” His lips lifted in a slight smile for only a second. Then he was all serious again. “Undoubtedly the stellar sex made us think there was more between us than actually existed.”

Sylvie stopped a frown desperately trying to form and reminded herself this realization was what she had wanted. She wanted him to see their engagement had been a mistake. Then why did she have to fight the sudden urge to argue with him, to insist that it had been about more than sex?

“S-sounds logical,” she stammered.

“This should be simple.” He muttered a curse, pushed to his feet and began to pace.

Sylvie uncurled the leg she’d tucked beneath her and rose so she was standing. Though he was still a good five inches taller than her, being upright made her feel as if they were on equal footing. “It appears we’re ready to close the door.”

Pasting a polite smile on her face, she waited for him to agree. Then she’d give him the ring, he’d say his goodbyes and leave.

Instead he stared, his gaze searching her face.

“It might feel that way to you.” Andrew spoke slowly and deliberately, a frown still furrowing his brow. “The problem is, I find myself still wanting you.”

Her heart, she was ashamed to admit, gave an excited little leap before she slapped it down. Not knowing how to respond, Sylvie remained silent.

“I believe more drastic measures are needed.” He took a step closer, lifted her hand and brought it to his mouth.

Her heart skipped several beats then began to thud. “What k-kind of measures do you have in mind?”

“Immersion therapy.”

Sylvie gave a strangled laugh. “Isn’t that when you go to a foreign country and don’t know the language?”

“In this case, I will immerse myself in your life.” His unsmiling gaze met hers. “I obviously didn’t know you before, Sylvie. What better way to get you out of my system than to become acquainted with the real you?”