Читать книгу For a Baby - C.J. Carmichael - Страница 8

Mid-June

HEATHER AND HER BEST FRIEND Adrienne were seated at the outdoor patio of a restaurant in Yorkton. They’d finished lunch and were lingering over iced lattes. The day was sunny and warm, not too hot. Adrienne looked younger than her thirty-two years in her tank top and capris. Her fingers and toes were painted matching shades of a color that reminded Heather of grape jelly.

Finally Adrienne, who’d been amazingly patient so far, leaned across the table. “So what did you want to talk about? Come on—I’m dying of curiosity.”

Heather had been waiting for the right moment. Now she realized it was never going to come. She cleared her throat. “You’re the first person to hear this—”

“Oh, you’ve got a new boyfriend, don’t you?” Adrienne grinned with excitement. “I thought you’ve had a certain glow lately. He’s good in bed, isn’t he? I just—”

“No, Adrienne. This isn’t about a guy.”

“Really?” Momentarily crushed, Adrienne brightened again. “I know! You’ve decided to take that trip to Europe. You want me to watch your house while you’re gone.”

“No. Not a trip to Europe. Not a trip to anywhere. Adrienne, I think…actually, I know…I’m pregnant.”

Silence. Adrienne’s mouth formed a perfectly round shape. She blinked her eyes once, then a bunch of times, as if she needed to clear her sight.

“But…but you haven’t gone on a date in months.” Her forehead creased. “How pregnant are you?”

Heather knew what she meant. “Eight weeks.”

“Oh. My. God.” She planted both hands on the table, then leaned back. The corners of her mouth turned up. The smile widened into something that looked a lot like delight. “You’re pregnant!”

Relief flooded Heather, making her realize how much she’d been counting on her friend to have a positive reaction. Adrienne knew about her health issues. Knew, too, how giving up her and Russ’s baby when she was younger still tore at her. She touched her hand to her flat tummy. Hard to believe, but the tests had confirmed the news on three separate occasions.

She was going to have a baby.

“And the father…?”

“That’s the tricky part.” She couldn’t meet her friend’s gaze for this. “It’s T. J. Collins.”

“T.J.?” Adrienne fell back in her chair, shocked. Then she leaned forward again and whispered, “But you don’t even like him!”

“I know.”

“He used to make you miserable. You’d walk an extra four blocks to school to avoid crossing his path. And I’ve noticed how you’ve gone out of your way to steer clear of the hardware store ever since he moved back from Calgary.”

“I know, I know. It’s totally crazy.”

“On the other hand…the guy’s rich, he lives in the small town you’ve always sworn you’ll never leave and he’s a hunk. I never told you this, ’cause I didn’t think you’d understand, but if I wasn’t married…”

“Please. I can’t even imagine you not being married.” Adrienne and her quiet husband, Ernie, had been high school sweethearts. Just like Heather and Russell. Only they’d managed the happily-ever-after part, too.

“So tell me how it happened…between you and T.J.?”

“You won’t believe this. It is such a cliché.” Heather explained how T.J. rescued her from the unwelcome advances of Trenton McGuire, then walked her home. “One thing just led to another and the next thing I knew, he was asking if he needed to wear protection.”

Adrienne’s eyes widened. “What did you say?”

“I didn’t exactly answer his question. But I think he may have assumed from…my actions…that I had things covered.”

“Heather!”

“Yeah.” Heather sank deeply into her chair. “He’s going to be so angry with me. Hell, I’m angry with me. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m a grade-four schoolteacher in a small town. I can’t have a baby without being in a committed relationship.”

“Was he good, Heather? I’m guessing he was really, really good.”

She couldn’t stop herself from blushing. She didn’t say a thing, just sat there turning more and more red-faced.

“Really? That good? Well, no wonder you lost your head.”

“I knew I was taking a spin at Russian Roulette, but I figured, what are the odds?”

“And you got lucky.”

“Or not lucky.”

“Come on, Heather. You always wanted to have a kid. This is your chance.”

“Yes, but I wanted the whole package. You know, the guy and the marriage and then the baby.” She frowned. “Some days I feel so excited and thrilled about the idea of finally having another baby. But when I try to imagine going back to school, growing big and heavy under the watchful eye of all those impressionable nine-and ten-year-olds, I just don’t think I can do it.”

“The school board won’t fire you. They can’t.”

“I know. But that’s not the point. I don’t want to be a bad role model for my kids.”

“You haven’t told your parents?”

Sigh. “No.”

“Heather…”

“I know. I have to do it soon, but I am so dreading the conversation. Can you imagine how disappointed they’ll be? My second pregnancy out of wedlock.”

Even saying it now, Heather could hardly believe it. She had no idea how her life had turned out this way. She’d always been a responsible person, and she’d tried to make smart decisions with her life. She’d earned her own way through university and had many good friends and a great relationship with her parents.

But she’d been unlucky in love. First, with Russell. They’d been best of friends for years, lovers for a short while, and then he’d met Julie and everything had changed. But while he’d made a life without her, Heather had trouble forgetting about him. Easygoing Russell with his charm and intelligence and kindness had remained her ideal for many years.

She hadn’t even been able to be angry with him about their baby. She hadn’t told him she was pregnant, so she couldn’t blame him for doing nothing. It had taken her years to get over her own pain, however. Finally she’d married a bright, ambitious young cop from Yorkton and looked forward to a future of teaching and raising a family of her own.

But Nick had been shot on the highway when he’d stopped what he’d thought was an impaired driver. The man had been drinking all right. Unfortunately he also had a gun and was intent on committing suicide. He’d taken Nick with him.

And left Heather on her own. She’d sworn to keep clear of men after that, but loneliness had eventually compelled her to start dating again. No one really appealed for more than a couple of dates, though. And she’d begun to despair of ever having the one thing she really wanted.

A child.

“Sometimes I wonder where I made my first mistake. Was it not telling Russell I was pregnant as soon as I found out? Marrying Nick? Sleeping with T.J.?” She shook her head. “Maybe I’m kidding myself, but I really feel too smart to be this stupid.”

“You’ve had bad luck with men.”

“People make their own luck.”

“Whose side are you on?” Adrienne sounded exasperated. “Is it your fault Russell fell in love with the elegant Julie? Or that Nick pulled over a crazy drunk and got himself shot? And don’t you dare blame yourself for sleeping with T.J. Though, maybe, you might have been a little more honest…”

Heather felt like sinking under the table. “Oh, God, he’s going to be so, so furious. Unless… Maybe I shouldn’t tell him.”

“Oh, right. Smart idea, Heather. And what happened the last time you got pregnant and didn’t tell the guy who was responsible? Besides, maybe there’s a silver lining to all this. In fact…” Adrienne stared across the street at the Co-op Grocery Store, but Heather could tell she wasn’t checking out the special on frozen lemonade.

“What, Adrienne? What are you thinking?”

“I’ve just had the best idea.” She straightened in her chair and smiled. “This is so perfect, so simple, I can’t believe I didn’t think of it right away.”

Heather waited.

“Okay. You want to keep this baby, right?”

“Of course.”

“And you don’t want to be a single parent.”

“Right.”

“That means you need to get married.”

“Brilliant, Adrienne. Why didn’t I think of that?” Heather put her head into her hands. This was hopeless. The whole situation was hopeless.

“So,” Adrienne carried on, “that means you and T.J. have to get married.”

“Me and T.J.?”

“Yup.”

“That’s your perfect idea?”

“Even aside from the fact that he’s the father of your baby—which is, by the way, a good reason on its own—the guy is ideally suited to you.”

“T.J. is moody, unsociable and downright rude. Which of those stellar qualities makes him perfect for me?”

“He’s completely different from Russell, that’s what.”

“Adrienne, you’re not making any sense.”

“Russell has been your ideal for too long. You’ve judged every one of your boyfriends against the standard he set. Even Nick.”

Yes, it was true. She couldn’t deny it.

“What you need is a man who is Russell’s exact opposite. That way you won’t be able to compare—they’ll be too different.”

“I see.” Adrienne’s logic was twisted, but it could be followed if you tried hard enough. “And that’s why you think T.J. is so right for me? Because he doesn’t have any of the qualities I admire in a man?”

“Exactly.”

“I think having three sons has scrambled your brains.”

“You could be right,” Adrienne said cheerfully. “Tell you what. Why don’t you come up with a better plan?”

July

HEATHER STOPPED HER MOUNTAIN bike a couple of houses back from the construction site for the Matthews’ new house. They were pouring the foundation today. Heather put a hand to her forehead and squinted against the scorching summer sun.

Russell Matthew and his son stood listening to the contractor they’d hired from Yorkton. Eleven-year-old Ben, who’d been in her fourth-grade class two years ago, had shot up another couple of inches this summer. She couldn’t believe how he’d grown.

The noise of the cement mixer ground out all other sounds in the hot, still air. That morning’s forecast projected the mid-July heat wave to linger into the next week, too. Though it was only noon, and she was dressed in denim shorts and a pink tank top, Heather already felt uncomfortably warm. The guys had to be cooking working around all that hot cement.

No sooner did she have that thought, than a Volvo station wagon drove up. Russell’s wife, Julie, stuck her head out the open driver’s side window.

“Anybody thirsty?”

Russell straightened, showing off his tanned shoulders and broad chest. He and the contractor were working in jeans only. Removing his cap, he wiped sweat off his brow as he smiled at his wife. “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.”

“Hang on, I’ve got cold cans of lemonade and iced tea.” Julie switched off the ignition, then went around to the back where she removed Emma from her car seat. The little girl wasn’t yet one, but already Heather could tell she was going to be tall and honey-haired like her mother.

“Want to help Mommy take drinks to Daddy and Ben?”

Seeing the toddler hold out her trusting arms to her mother, Heather had to look away. For years she’d wanted everything that Julie had. And now. Well, now.

She glanced down at her stomach which was still flat but wouldn’t be for long. She sighed, then re-mounted her bike and continued along Lakeshore Drive. The entire Matthew family called out greetings as she came into view, but she just smiled, waved her hand and kept on pedaling.

Much to Julie’s relief, Heather was sure. Russell’s wife was always polite, but too much history existed between Heather and Russ for the three of them to be real friends.

So Heather tended to avoid the Matthews as much as possible, which was hard in a small community like Chatsworth. Especially since she and Russ both taught at the local elementary school.

But it was summer break, and she had another problem on her mind today.

As Heather pedaled faster, a light breeze off the lake fingered her loose hair and sent cool shivers down her bare arms. Once she’d crossed the railway tracks, she turned left onto Willow Road. Gravel crunched under the thick tires of her mountain bike. A couple of red-winged blackbirds swooped overhead, then settled in the tall reeds growing on the swampy side of the lake. The narrow lane traced the western shoreline all the way to the public parking lot next to the concession stand.

Here she left her bike in one of the metal stands provided for that purpose, not bothering to lock it up. She unfastened her saddlebag with the lunch she’d packed that morning, and set out for the far end of the beach. On her way, she passed several groups of mothers and children spread out on blankets and wet towels along with a multitude of snacks and water toys.

Once she’d left the general beach area, she came across a pair of young lovers, partially hidden behind a clump of dark-leaved shrubs. The girl in a red bikini, the boy in baggy shorts riding low on his hips, were sprawled on an old blanket. The girl smoothed lotion into the young man’s back with long, lingering strokes.

“Hi, Karen. Ryan.”

“Oh. Miss Sweeney. I didn’t see you coming.”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.” Hard to believe these eighteen-year-olds were former pupils of hers. She remembered them both being top students. Ryan was very competitive—about school, sports, everything. Karen’s sweet disposition made her a favorite of everyone’s. Including Heather.

“Enjoying the summer holidays?” Ryan lifted his head and gave her a sleepy, charming grin.

“I am. Looks like you are, too.”

“We don’t get many days off to relax like this. Ryan’s on shift work at the mine,” Karen explained. Many of the locals worked at the potash mines in nearby Esterhazy. “And my mom isn’t on duty at the nursing home today. Otherwise I’d be babysitting my brothers.”

The twins would be in Heather’s class this year, too. She’d heard they were a handful and hoped she was up for the challenge. She regarded the pretty young girl with sympathy. “Well, enjoy the rest of the day, you two.”

She turned and breathed deeply as she continued on her way. The air always smelled different close to the lake. She was almost to the line of evergreens that separated the public beach from a privately owned golf course bordering the other side of the lake, when she finally saw him.

T.J. rested his back against the trunk of an old poplar. His dark hair was in its usual state of disarray, and the lower portion of his tanned face was covered in a light beard. He had on sunglasses, so she couldn’t tell for sure, but he seemed to be watching her approach. She swallowed and forced her chin up an inch. At that moment she realized she’d been clinging to a hope that he wouldn’t show up.

She glanced at her watch. Despite all the interruptions, she was here on time.

“Hot, isn’t it?” She sat about three feet from him, wishing she’d thought to pack a blanket. The grass half tickled, half scratched her bare legs.

T.J. removed his sunglasses. For a second their glances snagged against each other. Then he pulled off his white T-shirt and spread it over the grass a little closer to himself. “Sit here. You’ll be more comfortable.”

She couldn’t really say no, even though she’d have been more at ease if he had kept his shirt on. Not that long ago she’d rested her head on his muscular chest. Now, she deliberately averted her gaze from it.

“I brought food.” Settled on his T-shirt—was it her imagination, or could she feel his heat burning right through to her skin?—she unzipped the insulated bag in which she’d packed their lunch. She pulled out two sandwiches, slices of cheese, a container of strawberries. She unwrapped the first tuna on sourdough and passed it to T.J.

He caught her hand rather than the sandwich. “Your fingers are trembling.”

She lowered her head. Couldn’t he have just let it pass without comment? But T.J. had never been one to let anything go. Throughout their school years he’d teased her mercilessly about her red hair and freckles. And she’d never made a secret about the fact that she despised him for it.

That didn’t stop them from having slept together, though. The first time happened just after they graduated high school. Russ, two years older, had already left for fall term at university and there’d been no promises binding her—much as she’d wished otherwise.

The second time she and T.J. got together was in Saskatoon, where she’d been taking a break from working on her education degree to have Russ’s baby. And then there’d been this April…

No denying the sexual pull between them, much as she wanted to. Even now she felt it, despite the other, weightier, issue on her mind.

“You’re probably wondering why I asked you to meet me here.”

T.J. didn’t say anything. Somehow, that made it even harder. She’d had a whole speech planned out. But in the end, she only managed two short sentences.

“I’m pregnant, T.J. Just thought you should know.”