Читать книгу Return To Marker Ranch - Claire McEwen - Страница 12

CHAPTER THREE

THAT WENT WELL. Wade dropped the Weedwacker and leaned against the wall of the old shed. Disappointment and frustration surged in a filthy wave that had him turning to slam his fist into the wall, sending splinters of plywood flying.

His dream of ranching was rapidly becoming a disaster. He hadn’t anticipated the size of the mess his dad and brothers had left behind. Piles of stolen property hidden in the sheds and barns, or just lying around in the fields. Remnants of a meth lab in the old homestead cabin up in the woods. Every building in need of massive repair. Every pasture overgrown, every fence half-down. And now his one accomplishment, his brand-new well, had destroyed the water supply of the woman he’d loved since they were kids.

He shouldn’t be here. Shouldn’t have come home. Buddies from the service had gone home to parades, flags waving, the whole town excited to see them. But Wade was a Hoffman, which meant people from his hometown would be happier to see the back of him. Lori included, evidently.

But she had reason for her anger. He could assemble a weapon in seconds, creep through an Afghan desert without being seen, but he had no idea how to run a ranch. He definitely had no idea how to site a well. And now he’d taken her water.

He shouldn’t have hired a driller from out of town. Someone local would have known about Lori’s well. But the local guys were pricey, and Wade was just about broke.

She was right. He should have gone by to talk to her first. He was a decorated veteran, but he was also a coward. He’d treated her so badly when they were young. When he’d taken the comfort she’d offered for his loneliness and fear. And then shoved her as far away as he possibly could, so he’d have the courage to leave.

He owed her a mile-long apology. He’d driven to her ranch to try to make amends a few times since he’d come home. But the anxiety that had dogged him ever since he left the army had his hands shaking and his breath scarce as soon as her driveway came in sight. So each time he’d driven on past, not wanting to stand in front of her a weak and shaking fraction of the boy she’d known.

Seeing her today, he hadn’t shaken. Instead he’d felt almost paralyzed. There she was, just like he’d remembered. Petite. Incredibly beautiful. Her sun-streaked hair whipping loose from her ponytail in the hot afternoon breeze. Her dark blue eyes fierce. So strong, tough, smart and good. And he’d stumbled around in his numb brain trying to find even the simplest words. What a fricking disaster.

All these years, all he’d wanted was to get back here and see her again. But what would she think if she knew he was broken, his mind fragmented by the insidious fault lines of PTSD? The pity in her eyes would be confirmation of his worst fear. That no matter how hard he worked, he’d never be whole. That he’d never be man enough for her.

His fist came up even as he tried to will it still. The urge to slam it down a second time was so strong. Don’t feed the dragon, Dr. Miller had told him. Don’t let your mind go too far over the edge of emotion. It’s the PTSD taking over, and you don’t have to let it.

But it was stronger than he was. Almost as if it belonged to someone else, he watched his fist come up and smash the shed wall again. And again. Over and over until he’d knocked a hole clear through and a trickle of blood ran down his wrist. Only then could he pull his arm back, sliding down the wall to sit heavily in the dirt, welcoming the pain that returned him to reality and brought him home to his body. He had no control over the damn dragon. It was running rampant inside. And it fed off moments like this, when he could still see the disappointment in Lori’s eyes.

* * *

“IT’S DRY, LORI.” Bill Cooper climbed down from her water tank and shook his head. “I’m seeing this all over. If this damn drought doesn’t end soon, I honestly don’t know what we’re all gonna do.”

Stay calm, Lori told herself sternly as stress twisted her insides. She was a rancher, and things going wrong was just part of the job description. “I don’t know, either. But what can I do, right now, to get more water to this end of the ranch?”

“Well, you could pump water up from your lower wells. But that will put a pretty big strain on those, and you’ll be in big trouble if they dry out, too.”

“I don’t want to take that risk.” Just the thought made her palms sweat.

Bill nodded. “So you can buy water and have it delivered, or you can drill deeper.”

“Deeper? How deep?”

Bill stared at the ground as if willing it to divulge its secrets. “At least another fifty feet. More likely a hundred or so.”

“Seriously? That far? That will cost me a fortune!”

“Yeah, it’s not cheap.” He shook his head a little mournfully. “When I put this well in for your dad, we were swimming in water. Now the aquifers are so low, you gotta go far down to find it.”

“Can you be sure we’ll get water if we drill?”

“Nope.”

“That’s all you’ve got for me, Bill? Nope?” She slapped her palm against the tank and listened to the empty sound echoing back at her.

Bill took off his baseball cap and scratched his bald head. “I’m not sure of much anymore when it comes to drilling. Wells are drying out right and left because the aquifers are empty. No rain means we’re all pumping water. No snowpack in the mountains means the aquifers aren’t getting refilled. It comes down to simple math. We’re in the red.”

Lori took a shaky breath. No water. A rancher’s nightmare. Only she was awake. “Well, it is what it is. I’m calling a lawyer. It’s not right that Wade drilled up there.”

“Yeah, I sure wish he’d called me to help him out with that. But calling a lawyer won’t solve the problem. You both need water.”

“But he won’t shut down his well. Maybe a lawyer could make him.”

“But then how’s Wade gonna make it without water? I know you’re pissed at him, but do you really want to see the man ruined?” Bill paused, staring absently at her useless well. “You know, I think your only good solution is to work something out with Wade. Maybe a water sharing program. Use his well. It’s so close, we’d just have to run a line down the hill to your land and you’d be set. Of course you’d have to agree on the terms. How much water you each get, how to split any maintenance cost on the well, an irrigation schedule, all that.”

“What if he won’t share?”

Bill shot her a look of fatherly humor. “Wasn’t it you who trounced my boy Elliot on the high school debate team senior year?”

Lori smiled at the memory. “He was tough to beat.”

“But you did it with style. We were all impressed. So just use those skills. You’ll talk Wade into it.”

She remembered the stubborn set to Wade’s jaw yesterday. The steel determination in his eyes when he talked about the ranch. She didn’t share any of Bill’s confidence in her persuasive skills when it came to Wade.

And even if he said yes, would that be a good thing? Just seeing him yesterday had brought so much back. How alone she’d felt, away at college, a few weeks after he’d left her with his harsh words. When she’d found out she was pregnant.

Yesterday those memories had come back. And they’d made her cry, and she didn’t want to be that pathetic girl, crying over him. The girl who’d been so lost, she’d made a decision she’d regretted ever since. But yesterday afternoon, sobbing in her truck by the side of the road, that’s exactly who she’d been.

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea, Bill. Maybe you can help me get some contacts and look into bringing water in?”

“I can. But it will cost you an arm and a leg. Look, I know Wade is a Hoffman. And that family was hard and mean and wrong in their ways. But Wade was never involved in much of their activities, and a lot of time has gone by since then. Plus, I heard that he’s served our country. It’s a shame our town hasn’t treated him better since he’s been back.”

Lori had never heard Bill talk so much. She just wished he’d decided to get loquacious about a different subject.

“All I’m saying, Lori, is that I think we’re all going to have to work together if our ranches are going to make it. We’ve all cut our herd size, but a lot of people are talking about selling out entirely. So if you don’t want to go bust, I think you and Wade should put your heads together and see what you can come up with.”

Lori wasn’t willing to put her head, or any other part of her body, together with Wade Hoffman. She’d made that mistake once already, with tragic results.

She watched Bill’s truck rattle slowly down the dirt road back toward the main barn. When he was out of sight, she leaned against the water tank and stared up at the austere cliffs above her, looking for answers in the way the light and shadow played across the sheer granite slabs. She loved these mountains. Had always felt so at home here. But with the drought, her sense of home had never seemed more tenuous. Families were leaving. Ranching was becoming more difficult than ever. What if she failed, too?

People depended on her. Especially her sister—sweet, quiet Mandy. Worry churned inside. If the ranch folded, Lori could go east and work for someone else. But what would Mandy do without the ranch? Her whole world was the ranch house, her kitchen, her pets.

Bill was right. Sinking thousands of dollars into drilling deeper for water was a gamble. And with so much to lose, Lori couldn’t afford to roll the dice. Trucking in water would bust her budget wide open. Which meant she’d just have to put on her big girl pants and head back over to Wade’s. And beg.