Читать книгу Reunited With The Cowboy - Claire McEwen - Страница 15
ОглавлениеMAYA HEAVED HER backpack through Grandma’s front door, inhaling the scent of the lavender sachets Grandma put in every drawer. It was the same smell Maya had noticed when she’d first come to live here as a scared, sad five-year-old. Peace. Comfort. Safety.
Funny how Maya hadn’t noticed the lavender when she’d stopped by briefly on Monday. She’d been too busy trying to figure out how to get away from town again, as fast as possible.
She unlaced her dusty hiking boots and set them back outside on the porch before stepping inside and closing the front door behind her. “Grandma, are you here? I’m home!”
“In the living room!” Grandma Lillian’s voice was light with laughter, and suddenly the meaning of all the cars parked in front of the house sank in. It was Wednesday evening. Grandma’s book club was here. “Come on in and say hello to The Book Biddies,” Grandma called.
Glancing down at her dusty clothes and scraped-up legs, Maya winced. She needed a shower desperately after spending two nights and days on the trail. “I’m really dirty!” she called back.
“Ooh most people don’t admit that outright,” came a sardonic voice Maya didn’t recognize.
A roomful of giggles followed the quip. They must have busted out the drinks already. So many of Grandma’s stories about The Book Biddies involved alcohol, Maya teased her that they should change their name to The Booze Biddies.
“I’m going to shower first!” She made it to the first landing on the stairs before Grandma appeared at the bottom, hands fisted on her hips.
“Maya Burton, are you hiding from a bunch of old ladies?”
“No.” Her face heated. “But I’ve been camping for two nights. I need to get cleaned up.”
“Come say a quick hello. Everyone is so excited to see you. It’s been thirteen years.”
“Exactly. So can’t we wait twenty minutes more? I look terrible.”
“No one cares how you look. And we’re going to get into our book talk soon. Just come?”
Maya’s feet were reluctant weights as she stomped back down the stairs. “I’m probably covered in poison oak and ticks.”
“Then a few of my friends shouldn’t scare you.” Grandma folded her arms across her pink-flowered bosom and set her lips in the stubborn line Maya recognized as the ancestor to hers. “I know you’re anxious about being home again. But my book club is the perfect place to dip your toes in the water.”
“I’m not ready to dip my toes anywhere but the shower.”
“Don’t be silly,” Grandma said and turned around with the confidence that Maya would follow.
Which she did. This was Grandma asking, so she’d do what would make her happy. As she followed her grandmother down the hall, Maya noticed how light on her feet the older woman was. Grandma wore hip fake-leather leggings today, a top covered in pink flowers and sparkly flat shoes. She moved like a much younger woman. Why had she stopped traveling? Why hadn’t she wanted to come see Maya anymore?
Maya had assumed it was because her grandmother was slowing down physically. But she sure didn’t seem slow. She was practically skipping. And judging from the laughter in the next room, Grandma wasn’t lacking in friends. She didn’t seem lonely or depressed.
Just before they reached the living room, Maya paused, heart thumping against her ribs, the air suddenly thin. It was one thing accidentally running into Caleb; it was another to deliberately meet a bunch of people who all knew her past. Maya had never had to do it before. Leaving town so soon after the accident had given her a fresh start where no one knew her story. No one knew that her bad driving had killed her boyfriend’s sister, the town’s sweetheart, Julie Dunne.
Of course Maya knew. Shame and regret ate at the edges of even her best days, and devoured her entirely on others. But she’d never had to be around anyone, except Grandma Lillian, who also knew.
Her heart kicked up another notch, and Maya inhaled a shaky breath, trying to calm down.
Grandma must have heard, because she paused, her face set and stern. “Chin up,” she said softly. “You can do this. It’s time to stop hiding.”
Maya wasn’t sure about that last sentence. Hiding had served her pretty well for over a decade.
But her grandmother had been so devoted over the years, traveling to see Maya wherever she was. The very least Maya could do was meet her book club friends.
Grandma took Maya by the hand. Wrapped in her soft grip, Maya trailed into the living room behind her, feeling like the lost kid she’d been when Grandma had taken her out of foster care and given her a home.
Once inside the doorway, Grandma released her hand and Maya stepped forward on her own power. She was instantly met with a chorus of “There she is!” and one “Oh my goodness, what happened to you?”
Maybe she should have showered first.
Heart thrumming an uncomfortable bass in her chest, Maya broke through the wall of exclamations. “I’ve been out hiking the past couple of days.” She looked around the room, recognizing most of the women sitting on Lillian’s comfortable sofas but feeling suddenly shy about greeting them. “Hello.”
Grandma gave Maya’s shoulder a quick, bracing squeeze. “Maya was out tracking mountain lions.”
“Why in the world would you want to do that?” A woman in a red sweaterdress, her platinum hair coiled in a perfectly styled chignon, raised her penciled eyebrows.
Grandma gestured in the elegant woman’s direction. “This is Monique Lawrence. She owns Monique’s Miracles. It’s a wonderful salon.”
Not that Maya spent any time at salons. But Grandma was forever hopeful.
“Nice to meet you, Monique,” Maya said.
Monique gave her a beautifully manicured wave. “So nice to finally meet you.”
“Maya!” Mrs. Axel, Maya’s former teacher, heaved herself out of Grandma’s coziest armchair. “How wonderful to see you!”
Maya went to Mrs. Axel and hugged her gingerly, trying to keep her dusty clothes away from the other woman’s flowered cardigan sweater. Mrs. Axel had always been small, but she felt frail now, and that one change drove home all the other changes Maya must have missed while avoiding Shelter Creek. Changes that Grandma had experienced, without her, because Maya had been too scared to face her past. She cleared the lump of guilt in her throat. “It’s great to see you too.”
Mrs. Axel held her at arm’s length, her pale blue eyes swimming with tears. “Look at you, all grown-up.”
“Grown-up and absolutely beautiful!” The exclamation came from Kathy Wallace, Grandma’s next-door neighbor, who’d babysat Maya and been on hand for every one of life’s occasions, from dance recitals to holiday meals. “It’s amazing to see you again,” Kathy said, reaching out her arms. “The photos your grandmother shares with me just haven’t done you justice.”
Maya hugged her, blinking back the sting of her own tears. Ever since she’d left, all of her thoughts of Shelter Creek were about what she’d been trying to avoid. Not about people like Kathy, who’d invested so much in her as a child. Who’d believed in her as she was growing up.
“I’m sorry that I haven’t been in touch,” she managed to say. “It’s so good to see you, Kathy.”
When they pulled apart, Kathy’s cheeks were pink and she dabbed at her eyes. “Now, let’s not get all weepy. I wasn’t trying to make you feel guilty. It’s just wonderful to see you again. It’s been so many years, I thought... Well, never mind what I thought. It’s just so good to have you home.”
Maya tried to tamp down the emotion threatening to overwhelm her. “I know it’s been a long time. But Grandma was always so great about coming to see me, I guess I never needed to come home.” It was a weak lie and as soon as it was out, Maya felt like an idiot. “But I should have,” she corrected.
“Well, you’ve always given me a reason to have an adventure somewhere new,” Grandma chimed in, kind as ever. “There are benefits to having a granddaughter who won’t settle down.” Grandma gave Maya a glass of white wine and a quick kiss on the cheek. “Still, it’s very nice to have you home.”
“It sure is.” Annie Brooks rose from where she’d been sitting in the far corner, by Grandma’s piano. Annie had been a close friend of Grandma’s since the two of them were rivals for Miss Shelter Creek Rodeo, back when they were in high school. Now she came forward and clasped both of Maya’s hands in her own. “Welcome home, Maya.”
“Thank you.” Annie’s face was the same, with just a bit more weathering from all the time she’d spent out on her ranch. Her hair had more salt than pepper, but her warm smile hadn’t changed. “It’s so nice to see you again.”
Annie just nodded, gave Maya’s hands one more gentle squeeze and then retreated to her seat. She never was a person to express her emotions in words, but Maya had always loved her. Annie had taught her to ride horses, had encouraged her passion for the outdoors and had shown her an example of what a strong woman in a nontraditional job was like.
Maya took a sip of wine to soothe the roughness in her throat and perched carefully on the arm of the sofa next to where Grandma sat down. Hopefully her dusty clothes wouldn’t do too much damage.
“How was your hike, dear?” Kathy asked. “Did you see any lions?”
“I saw one in a tree, early yesterday morning. I got a few photos, actually. And I set up several motion-sensitive cameras in the area. Hopefully I’ll catch some more photos with that.”
“Did you hear that?” Mrs. Axel waved her wineglass at the group. “I was her teacher, you know. And third grade was a big year for studying animal habitats.”
Maya laughed. Mrs. Axel had been a great teacher, taking the kids on nature walks and getting them excited about the local flora and fauna. “It’s true. Grandma, next time you get mad at me for chasing lions, you can blame Mrs. Axel.”
“You should call me Priscilla.” Mrs. Axel poured herself a generous refill of wine. “And I’m proud to play a part in your pursuit of lions.”
“Well, then when she gets bit by one, I’ll know who’s responsible.” Grandma sighed. “Maya, when you became a biology major, I assumed you’d end up teaching at a university or working in a laboratory. Not crashing through the woods, searching for predators.”
“I like the woods,” Maya said. “And predators.”
“You always loved animals,” Kathy added. “Remember, Lillian, when she found those abandoned baby raccoons? And tried to raise them herself?”
“Oh my goodness, I’d forgotten.” Grandma giggled. “And remember when she tried to pet an otter in the Russian River?”
“Oh no.” Maya put her free hand up in protest. “Do we have to talk about that?”
“Oh yes, we do,” Kathy said with a chortle. “That thing chased you all the way up onto the beach.”
“I never knew otters had fangs like that,” Grandma added. “I thought it was going to bite you for sure.”
“So did I.” Maya was laughing too. She’d been so silly, thinking somehow that just because she loved animals, they’d all want to be her friends. Grandma had probably let her watch Snow White too many times.
“You know, a lot of locals aren’t happy to have so many mountain lions around here these days.” The speaker was a severe-looking woman with dark hair pulled back in a tight bun and purple reading glasses perched on her nose. “I’m Eva Rosen, by the way. We haven’t met. I’m pretty new to Shelter Creek. I own an art gallery in town.”
Maya smiled at her, grateful for the change of subject, even if it wasn’t a happy topic. “Good to meet you.” It was so strange to think of art galleries in Shelter Creek. But she’d noticed several as she drove through town.
“Eva is right, you know,” Grandma cautioned. “You may run into some unhappy folks while you’re doing this study.”
Ha. She’d already met the unhappiest of them all. And he’d made it clear he didn’t want to work with her. Didn’t want her around here at all. “Well, it’s not like people in this town are going to welcome me back with some kind of celebration anyway.” Maya flushed at the hint of bitterness that had seeped into her tone and the silence that instantly coated the room in awkward truth.
“Now, Maya.” Mrs. Axel broke the silence to offer comfort. “The accident was a long time ago. Most people probably don’t even remember it. They definitely don’t blame you for it.”
“They did though,” Kathy said sharply. “All that nasty stuff about apples not falling far from trees. I gave a few people a piece of my mind about that.”
“I’ve heard about the accident,” Eva said. “But I’m sorry—I don’t understand about apples. Unless I’m prying...”
Grandma sighed. “It’s okay, Eva. It’s not a secret. Everyone knew that my daughter and her husband, Maya’s parents, were drug addicts. That’s why Maya came to live with me in the first place. After the accident, a rumor got started that Maya had been drinking when her car hit that tree.”
“Oh no.” Eva looked at Maya, her dark eyes bright with compassion. “I’m so sorry to hear that.”
“Tests were done that night,” Grandma went on. “We proved there was no alcohol in Maya’s blood. The coroner ruled the death accidental.”
“But rumors have a way of sticking to things,” Annie said. “While boring old facts just blow on by.”
“Plus Trisha and Julie, the two girls riding in Maya’s car, had been drinking that night,” Kathy added. “So maybe that’s how the rumor got going.”
“I didn’t live in town back then,” Monique said. “But once in a while, gossip resurfaces in the salon. I don’t think most people believe that old rumor now, Maya.”
“Good to know,” Maya mumbled into her wine. Talking about all this was knocking her off-balance. They were all so casual, just chatting mildly about the thing that had shattered her heart and her world.
“Most?” Grandma looked at Monique sharply.
“Well, I’ve heard a few things I don’t like,” Monique admitted. “And I’ve always addressed it when I hear it. Unfortunately there are people out there who prefer their own version of things to the actual truth.”
Her words settled like mud in the bottom of Maya’s stomach. She’d known, of course, that there were people who’d happily resurrect old gossip. It was a small town and they needed something to talk about. But somehow the fact that Monique had witnessed it made it a lot more real.
“We need to help you face those people, Maya,” Annie said briskly. “We need to support you. I wish I’d supported you better back then.”
Eva lifted her glass toward Maya. “I’m happy to do whatever I can.”
“Me too,” Monique added.
“I’m okay,” Maya assured them, her skin going prickly with discomfort. “I’m used to handling things on my own. I’ll be fine.”
“But you don’t have to handle this on your own.” Kathy rummaged through her purse and pulled out a packet of tissues. She used one to dab her eyes. “I’m sorry. It just gets me very emotional.”
Her tissues had ducks on them. It was an unimportant detail, but Maya focused on it because seeing Kathy cry made her want to cry too.
“I feel the same as Annie.” Mrs. Axel’s voice was husky all of a sudden. “Maybe if more of us had gathered around you and spoken up for you, you would have felt like you could have stayed. Or at least come back to visit once in a while.”
Grandma wiped her eyes on her sleeve. Oh no, if she started crying, then Maya would lose it. And she didn’t lose it. Well, except for her meltdown by the side of the road the other day. She’d learned a long time ago that crying didn’t help. Mourning was a void she could get stuck in forever, because there was no closure when you’d been responsible for a death. Every day you lived was a day the other person didn’t. If you allowed yourself to cry, you might just never stop.
It was better to keep busy, stay focused, work hard and avoid other people and their emotions as much as possible. Because emotions were unpredictable. Look at her and Caleb. One day they’d been madly in love. Then the accident happened, and he’d instantly despised her.
That was why Maya had chosen a career that let her work alone, in the wilderness. In a solitary life, she couldn’t be hurt that way. And, most importantly, she couldn’t hurt anyone else.
The room had gone quiet, and the silence finally permeated Maya’s thoughts. She glanced around and saw that The Biddies were watching her expectantly, like she was supposed to say something.
“It’s okay,” Maya tried to reassure them. “I’m okay.” Really, she wanted to sink into the floor, down to the nice, cool, dark dirt of Grandma’s crawl space. Anywhere but here, with everyone’s pity and regret. “I’m sure it will all be fine. And I’m only going to be in town for a couple of months anyway.”
She wished suddenly, fervently, that she was still on the trail, setting up cameras, looking for scat and tracks. Those were things she could see and record and make sense of. That was peace. This was like standing in a hot spotlight, itchy and alone, picking at scars that never healed.
Kathy cleared her throat. “Just know that we are here for you. That if there is any gossip, we’ll try to stop it.”
“Anything you need—support for your work, someone to talk to, company if you are planning to go out—you just call one of us,” Mrs. Axel said.
Annie chimed in. “If you have trouble with any of the local ranchers, I’m your gal. None of them will give you a hard time if I’m around.”
Their kindness loosened the tears Maya had been holding back ever since seeing Caleb out on the trail. The salt stung her eyelids, and she reached for one of Kathy’s duck tissues.
“We may just be a bunch of Book Biddies,” Eva said, “but I think everyone in this room would like to help you feel at home here, in Shelter Creek.”
Grandma patted Maya’s knee. “You see? You’re not alone. You’ve got all of us.”
They were all being so wonderful, but they were seeing her as the sad, pathetic girl she’d been when she’d left this town. She’d changed since then, she was strong and independent. Why couldn’t they see that?
That was the danger of coming home. All that you’d become, all that you’d worked so hard for, wasn’t anything anyone could see. All they could see was a familiar face, and then they made familiar assumptions.
Still, all this was kindly meant. “Thank you,” Maya managed to say. “I appreciate it.”
Grandma’s soft hand reached for hers. “I’m sorry if we are too much. I guess we are all too old to ignore the elephant in the room.”
Maya scrubbed her palms over her eyes, wishing she could rub all this pity off her skin. “It feels a little like an intervention. Are you sending me to rehab?”
“Guilt rehab,” Kathy said. “You deserve to be comfortable in your own town. You may not choose to stay in Shelter Creek, but we don’t want you to live in exile.”
If only it was so simple. Was there really any rehab for the guilt and regret? Those things were just givens in Maya’s world. They wore away at her the way the Pacific’s waves eroded the cliffs by the coast. Little by little. Every day. All the time.
“This town needs to do better by you,” Annie said. “You’re brave to come home. Let us help while you’re here.”
Maya looked at The Biddies sitting there, with wine and books, and love in their eyes. She couldn’t tell them no, despite every instinct insisting she was better off alone. “I don’t think I could ask for a better set of bodyguards than you all.”
Monique let out a guffaw of laughter. “This town won’t know what hit them. Maya Burton’s home, and The Book Biddies have her back.”
It was what they all needed to lighten the mood.
It was also a good moment to escape. “I think the town, and all of us, would be better off if I had a shower now.”
“Just remember that we’re here for you,” Eva said. “And stop by my gallery sometime. Your grandmother told me that you take really beautiful photos. I’d love to see them.”
Maya’s cheeks flamed. “Grandma!”
Her grandmother’s smile was totally unapologetic. “You’re my granddaughter. I’m entitled to brag sometimes.”
“They’re not art,” Maya tried to explain to Eva, in case Grandma had built up her expectations. “They’re just something I do when I’m in the backcountry. To pass the time.”
“Well, whatever you call them, I’d love to see them,” Eva reassured her. “Come on by. We’ll have tea.”
“Okay, thank you.” Maya raised her wineglass to the rest of the room. “Enjoy your booze... I mean, your book club. And thank you for making me feel welcome.”
“Feel free to join us when you get cleaned up,” Grandma told her with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “We haven’t even talked about the book yet.”
Curiosity caught at Maya’s bookworm heart. “What did you read?”
“That romance book they made into a movie,” Kathy said. “You know, the one with the naughty businessman and the college student?”
Horror heated Maya’s cheeks. “Not... Fifty Shades?”
“That’s the one!” Grandma fanned her hand in front of her face. “Oh my, it was spicy!”
“Absolutely.” Monique put her palms to her cheeks. “That Christian Grey fellow—I wouldn’t mind an older version of him showing up in my shop.”
“Okay.” Maya was pretty sure her face was beet red. Thankfully she was almost out the living room door. “I’m going to leave you ladies to it. I’ve got some field notes to catch up on after my shower.”
Maya went to her grandmother and kissed her on the cheek. She waved at the rest of The Biddies. “Have a good time,” she told them and made her way upstairs. She could hear them talking and laughing, even from her room. And for the first time since she’d come home, she felt a little stronger. A little more like the person she normally was.
Maya Burton is home, and The Biddies have her back. She smiled, imagining pulling up to Caleb’s ranch tomorrow with a car full of Book Biddies. He’d at least have to be polite.
Somehow she had to find a way to work with him. But how could she work with him when he had such a good reason to hate her? He’d made it so clear, years ago, that he wanted nothing to do with her. He’d made that clear again when she saw him on the trail the other night.
She wasn’t great at working with people in the best of circumstances, which was why she spent most of her time doing research alone, in the wilderness. How was she supposed to work with Caleb?
Maya turned the shower on and peeled off her filthy clothes. The steaming water felt delicious as it washed away the layers of dust. If only it could wash away the worry too.
