Читать книгу His Last Rodeo - Claire McEwen - Страница 9
ОглавлениеKIT HAYES STOOD on the steps of the Benson library and watched the love of her life leave town. Again.
Arch Hoffman, duffel bag in the back of his truck, was waiting at the last red light before Main Street turned into highway.
He never used to have a truck. When she’d last seen him a year ago, he was just out of prison and didn’t own much.
“That jerk.” Kit’s best friend, Lila, moved to stand next to her. “Why was he even in town? I though he’d moved to San Francisco.”
Kit shrugged. “He must have come to see his family.” If he’d been here any longer than a day or two, she’d have been sure to run into him in this tiny California town. It was just a few picturesque roads mushed up against the east side of the Sierras.
“Where’d he get that fancy truck?”
The afternoon sun glinted off the chrome bumper of the red Ford. “He probably has money now,” Kit said. “From his sculptures.”
“Oh, right. I’d forgotten he’s the next big thing in the art world.” Lila’s tone made it clear she was anything but impressed.
Kit wished she could care so little. A few months ago, there had been a photo of Arch in the Benson Record, gorgeous and smiling, taken at an art show in San Diego. She’d stared at the photo for a long time. Years ago—when he’d loved Kit—the only section of the paper Arch would have made was the police blotter. He’d been her charming criminal back then. Neither of them could have imagined he’d become the town’s prodigal son.
The light changed and Arch’s truck accelerated, oblivious to Kit’s scrutiny. Heading back to the city—home to the woman he loved. The pretty, perfect Mandy Allen, who’d swiped Arch’s heart just as easily as he used to swipe cars.
Kit shifted, trying to ease the jealousy that squeezed her chest. It may have been over a year since she’d seen Arch, but the feeling still gripped her every time she thought of him and Mandy together.
“You need to let him go,” Lila said.
“I’m trying. Trust me, I hate feeling like this.” Kit held up her stack of books.
Lila glanced at the titles. “More self-help books? You’ve read about a million of them already and they haven’t worked. You need to get back out there. You need a date.” She bumped her shoulder gently into Kit’s and gave her a sly smile. “You need to get laid.”
Kit bumped her right back. “Shush! We’re at the library, not the bar.”
“No one heard.” But Lila lowered her voice. “Seriously, reading about feeling better won’t make you feel better. You need to do something.”
“I’ve been doing stuff.” Kit had kept busy at work, trained for a half marathon last summer and gone skiing. “I even took that pole dancing class you talked me into. Which was a disaster, by the way.”
Lila grinned. “I didn’t realize it was at the seniors’ center when I signed us up.”
Kit laughed. Which felt good. Seeing Arch drive away left tire marks of regret in her muddy heart. “I’m scarred for life. Images of the seniors getting funky are burned on my brain.”
“You laughed so hard after that class. It was better than therapy. Maybe we need to go back. I think their spring session should start any day now.”
“No!” Kit didn’t know what would help her get out of this black hole of jealousy and loss, but she was sure the cure wasn’t pole dancing. She just had to keep reading and keep trying. She’d been working on not loving Arch for almost half her life—she had to be successful eventually.
She’d almost managed to unlove him. During the decade after he’d walked away from their four-year relationship, she’d done okay. She’d learned to live without him, had some fun, even had a few boyfriends. All in all, she’d done pretty well, until he showed up again.
The moment she’d seen him, all her old feelings had flooded back, almost as if he’d never left. And they wouldn’t go away again.
Stupid, stupid feelings.
Meanwhile, Arch had fallen in love and moved to San Francisco, and she still didn’t feel free of him. Somehow Arch’s success as an artist, his happy relationship with Mandy, had made Kit realize how stuck she’d become: living in Benson, looking after her dad, working at a bar. She was thirty-two years old but still living the way she had throughout most of her twenties. It was a depressing thought.
Lila glanced at her phone. “You’ve got to get to work. Are you okay? Do you want me to take your shift for you?”
Kit shook her head. The last thing she needed was to sit at home and think about Arch. “Work will be good for me. Plus, a shipment was delivered this afternoon and I told Chris I’d check it in.”
“I hope Chris is paying you a lot more than he pays me. You’re practically running the bar for him.”
“I’m glad he gives me a lot of responsibility.” Kit took a breath, suddenly ready to say aloud what she’d kept to herself until now. “I’ve learned a lot and I’ve saved some money. When he retires, I think I want to buy the place.”
“Really?” Lila’s green eyes were wide. “That’s...that’s great.” The false enthusiasm in her voice rang too loud in the quiet afternoon.
“What’s wrong? You don’t think I can do it?”
“No.” Lila put her hand on Kit’s arm. “No, of course that’s not it. You’re great at running the bar. It’s just...you love reading those travel books and you’ve been taking those online Spanish classes. I just thought you’d—” The pale skin of her cheeks stained pink. “That’s what you want? To stay in Benson and own the Dusty Saddle? I just didn’t realize.”
Kit inhaled the chill of the early spring evening, hoping it would clear the Arch-induced melancholy from her heart. “What I want is to travel. To move to Spain or South America or someplace where I will never have to see or hear about Arch Hoffman again. But I don’t get to do that. I have to look after Dad. So owning the Saddle is a pretty good plan B.”
“Are you sure you can’t fix things for your dad? Did you ever go talk with that ex-boss of his?”
“Mr. Ellis.” The evil rancher. “Yes, he finally agreed to meet with me last week. But it didn’t help much. He showed me all these papers. Said my dad borrowed money against his pension years ago and never paid it back. So he’s only entitled to a hundred dollars a month.”
“What about Social Security?”
“It helps a little. But not enough. Even if it did, even if I could travel, Dad’s depressed. He’s lost without his work. I swear if I didn’t stop by his house every day, he’d never get out of bed.”
“I’m sorry.” Lila’s eyes were wide with sympathy. She understood hard times—had seen plenty of her own. “Well, it is a good plan B. I can see you owning the bar, and you’re certainly a great manager. Almost no one complains ever since you took over the scheduling from Chris.”
“Almost no one?” Kit teased.
“Well, Tim and I were grousing last week because neither of us wanted to work a Monday. No tips.”
“Everyone has to work a Monday sometimes. I’m doing it tonight.”
Lila grinned. “We know. It’s just fun to complain. But don’t worry. Even if we give you a hard time, we still love you.”
Kit was suddenly self-conscious. “Well, it might not happen anyway. Who knows if I can save enough? Or if Chris will want to sell it? Or if the bank will give me a loan to do it?”
“It will work out,” Lila assured her. “But are you certain you don’t want me to take your shift tonight?”
“I’m fine, thanks.” Kit raised an eyebrow. “Why don’t you want to go home? Did you and Ethan have a fight?”
Lila sighed. “No. It’s the opposite, actually. Ever since we moved in together I’ve become so...I don’t know...attached. He has his veterans’ support group tonight and if I’m sitting at home, I’ll miss him. And then I’ll feel like a lame, dependent girlfriend. I don’t want that.”
“You mean fiancée,” Kit corrected. “And it’s good that you miss him. It means you like him a lot. Which is great, since you’re marrying him.”
Lila grinned, just like she did every time Kit mentioned Ethan or marriage. “I guess you’re right. It’s just a little weird.”
“You’re not used to being in love yet. You’re still getting used to feeling safe and settled.” Kit gave Lila a light kiss on the cheek. “It’s good to see you so happy. Go cook him a meal or something wifely like that. Or work on your photographs—the show is only a couple months away.”
“Don’t remind me. I’m so nervous. Which is why I’m probably going to cook. Procrastination is my solace.”
“Your photos are gorgeous.” Lila took photos of ordinary life around Benson. But somehow she made a simple piece of sagebrush look like a feather, or a high mountain ridge look like it was molded from glistening silver. “Trust me. Every tourist in Mammoth is going to buy one when they walk into that gallery.”
“I hope so.” Lila glanced at the stack of books in Kit’s arms. “Want me to take those for you?” She tucked her own book under her arm and held out her hands. “You can stop by tomorrow to pick them up.”
Kit didn’t comment on Lila’s change of subject. She was private—probably uncomfortable even admitting she was nervous. “No, thanks. It’s Monday night. The bar will be empty, just like you said. If I get my work finished, I might have time to read.”
“Call me if you get bored with your self-help. We can chat.”
“Will do,” Kit promised.
They started down the steps. Lila’s white Jeep was parked behind Kit’s red one. When they’d first met, they’d bonded over their almost-identical cars.
Kit shot one last glance at the stoplight, then shook her head. Lila was right. It had been over a year since Arch had gotten out of jail. Over a year since he’d told her he loved another woman. Kit had to move on.
Maybe she’d find the magical words she was looking for in these books. Some insight that would end this endless heartache. But she was getting the feeling that the words she needed to hear hadn’t been written yet.
Or maybe there was no cure for a love like hers. Sometimes she wondered if she’d missed Arch so much, for so long, that missing him had become another part of her. An extra limb she’d grown, like an obsolete tail, crafted from layers of her own stupidity, slowing her down as it dragged along the ground.
Kit climbed into her Jeep and dumped the books on the passenger seat. It was a short drive to the Dusty Saddle. She rolled down her windows, hoping that the rain-tossed breeze would blow some sense of hope in along with it. A promise of something new to help her get over this musty old heartache.
* * *
THE HANDS OF the old Budweiser clock above the bar were moving backward. Kit was sure of it. As she watched, it paused, then the minute hand lurched backward, like it was trying to gather the momentum to go forward. But it never did.
Kind of like her life, Kit thought. She definitely lacked momentum. Arch’s moving on, Lila’s getting married, had made that pretty clear.
She wiped a tiny smudge on the bar. The Dusty Saddle was never busy on Mondays, but tonight it was completely empty. The regulars must be home nursing their weekend hangovers. The younger crowd was probably at the High Country Sports Bar, which offered all the games on its multiple TV screens, and drink promotions to go with them.
She’d hoped to keep busy tonight, but she’d unpacked the order in the first hour of her shift. Finished the inventory in the second hour. Then she’d scrubbed every possible surface during the next three hours. Now she had three hours to go and nothing but silence to keep her company. The Dusty Saddle was located on the edge of town, and since Benson was nestled against the east side of the Sierras, it was eerily quiet. If Kit poked her head out the door, she could probably hear coyotes howl. Or maybe an owl or two.
She went behind the bar to get a glass of ice water. Then she pulled a book off the stack she’d left there. Healing a Broken Heart by someone named Dr. Melinda Mellton. The doctor’s calm, radiant smile on the cover had pulled Kit in. She wanted to look and feel that happy. And even if Dr. Melinda’s contented glow was Photoshopped, the word healing in the title held some promise.
Kit leafed through the first few pages, stopping at the section called “The Broken Heart Questionnaire.” Dr. Melinda wanted to know if she was having trouble eating or sleeping, how long she’d been sad, was she dreaming of the person she’d lost. The questions went on for two pages. Mentally answering yes to almost every one, Kit read the analysis of her results. Melinda informed her that, given the number of times Kit had answered yes, it was clear that she had a broken heart. Duh.
She slammed the book on the counter. She didn’t need a book to tell her that. Pushing away from the bar, she paced the empty room a few times, pausing to throw a few darts at the dartboard. Bull’s-eye. Wandering to the bar, she stared at Dr. Melinda’s photo. Maybe the questionnaire was dumb, but Kit was desperate for something, even a few words of wisdom to give her hope that she’d feel better soon. She sat and opened the book again.
Chapter 2 was titled “Surviving.” That seemed like a good place to start. Surviving was all she’d been doing lately. She was relieved to realize that Dr. Melinda did actually know what it was like to live with a heart made of lead.
“Can’t a guy get a drink around here?”
Kit grabbed the edge of the bar to keep from falling off her stool. She’d been so engrossed in Dr. Melinda’s sympathetic descriptions of heartache that she hadn’t heard anyone come in.
A man stood a few feet away, his black cowboy hat tilted low over his eyes. But the brim didn’t hide the broad shoulders or the muscular arms bulging out of his tight black T-shirt. She slid off her stool and hurried behind the bar. “Sorry about that. You sneaked up on me.”
“That must be some book you’re reading.” The man took a few steps toward where she’d been sitting and glanced at the cover. “Healing a Broken Heart? Really? You were always the one breaking hearts, if I remember it right.” He tipped up the brim of his hat and she saw the face of an old friend.
“Tyler Ellis! I didn’t recognize you under that grown-up hat of yours.”
His lazy grin could melt an iceberg. “All grown up and ready for a beer.”
Kit reached for a glass to give herself a moment to regroup. Tyler wasn’t just grown up. He was gorgeous. She’d known that, of course. He was a world champion bull rider, and his wide, cocky smile was a common sight in the local paper, which covered his successes religiously.
But the photos hadn’t done him justice. He smiled at her with a confidence that must work magic with rodeo fans, because it was making even her jaded knees feel wobbly.
She straightened her spine. The last guy she’d felt wobbly for was Arch, and look how that turned out. She gestured toward him with the empty glass. “What are you drinking?”
He glanced at the taps. “Pale ale, please.”
Kit poured the local ale. Watching it foam was far more relaxing than watching Tyler. She stole a quick glance. Yup, he was gorgeous. He always had been, even in high school. Back when they’d been best friends.
Back before Kit had fallen head over heels for Arch Hoffman. And gotten herself involved in stuff she shouldn’t have.
Back before Tyler had worried about her, and told her to leave Arch, and they’d had the fight that ended their friendship.
Back before Tyler had quit high school and left town.
Kit had managed to avoid him every time he’d come to Benson since then.
“It’s been a while,” Tyler said quietly, as if reading her thoughts.
“It sure has.” Kit slid the pint across the bar, a small peace offering. “It’s on me.”
“What have you been up to all this time?” He sat heavily on a bar stool and took a gulp of the ale.
“Not too much.” What could she possibly tell him? He’d joined the army. Then joined the rodeo, started winning, become one of the Professional Bull Riders big stars. His looks had gotten him product endorsements and modeling contracts. He’d been in magazines, commercials, on billboards even. And all she could say about the past fifteen years was not much. “I’ve worked here, mostly.”
“You must like this place.” He paused, like he wanted to say something about that. Instead, he picked up her book. “So why are you reading this?”
No way would she tell him she was still hung up on Arch Hoffman. Not when he’d lived this incredible life while she’d stayed stuck right here in Benson. She made a grab for the book, but he held it out of reach. Just like they were kids again, growing up on his family’s ranch, with her daddy working for his.
The warmth she’d felt at seeing him seeped away slowly at that thought, leaving a hollow anxiety behind. Her dad had been so good to Tyler. He’d been a mentor and a friend. He’d taught Tyler how to ride bulls. Did Tyler know that his father had fired Kit’s? Was he complicit in it?
She could feel anger rising. “It’s a library book—don’t mess it up.” She reached for it again, but she was short and he stood, so she didn’t have a chance.
His grin dimpled wide and he took a few steps back from the bar. Wobbly steps.
Kit froze, taking in, for the first time, the slight flush to Tyler’s face, his untucked shirt. “Hey. Are you okay?” She crooked a practiced finger, summoning him closer, in full bossy-bartender mode now. He obeyed, moving unsteadily to the bar.
Studying his green eyes, she noticed a lack of focus there. He’d always had a sharp gaze. Piercing, even. “You’ve drunk a lot already.”
His answering nod was somber, as if they were sharing a profound moment. “Yes. I have.”
“Good to know.” She pulled the pint off the bar and set it on the counter behind her, out of his reach.
“Hey! I was enjoying that.”
“Great. You can enjoy it another night, when you’re not stumbling drunk.”
He shook his head and swayed a little. How had she not seen this before? “I’m not stumbling.”
“That’s because you’re hanging on to the bar stool.”
He glanced at his hand, white-knuckling the stool, and looked puzzled. “I am. Must have been the shots I had right before I came here.”
He set the book on the bar and Kit quickly placed it with her others, safely out of reach. “You need to get home and sleep this off,” she told him.
“You’ll go with me?” The tilt of his eyebrow might have been seductive if he’d been remotely sober.
“If you’re going to be an idiot, don’t talk,” she snapped.
“Right,” he said. “Good advice.”
“Smart boy. Now let me call someone to pick you up.”
“It’s early. And I want to be here.” He slid carefully onto the bar stool and folded his forearms on the bar, looking at her quizzically. “I’m just trying to figure out how in the hell you got more beautiful than you were. How is that even possible?”
She didn’t hide the roll of her eyes. “Beer goggles make anything possible.” She poured a glass of water and set it in front of him. “Drink this. And then let’s get you home before you say any more stuff you’ll regret later.”
“I won’t regret saying it. Should have said it years ago.” He pulled his hat off his head and set it on the stool next to him. She’d forgotten his hair. Kind of a reddish brown, straight as a board, and he still wore it just a little too long. “I came back here a couple times. To host the Benson Rodeo, make some guest appearances, stuff like that. How come I didn’t see you then?”
“Maybe because I don’t watch rodeos. Or maybe because you got your drinks elsewhere. Kind of like you did earlier tonight. Were you at the High Country?”
“Yup.” He nodded. “Great bar.”
“Sure, if you like cocktails and big-screen TVs.”
“And you don’t?”
“I prefer the basics. Good beer. Good customers.” She couldn’t contain her curiosity. “What are you doing in town, so messed up on a Monday night, anyway?”
“A few of my buddies threw me a party. A celebration.”
“What are you celebrating?”
He hesitated a fraction. “Moving home.”
She’d been expecting him to say another rodeo win or another endorsement deal. Certainly not this. “You’re moving to Benson? No more rodeo?”
His head moved in one emphatic shake. “Nope.”
He’d lived and breathed bull riding since he was a kid. “Tyler, that’s a big deal. How come you quit?”
“A lot of reasons.” He took a sip of water then swirled the glass, watching as if it was actually interesting.
“Suddenly you don’t want to talk, when we’re talking about you.”
He shrugged. “Not much to say. I had a great run. I won some titles and made a bunch of money. And I was lucky that I did all that and didn’t get hurt much. But I saw a lot of friends get pretty torn up. Figured I’d quit while I was still in one piece.”
“But you’ll miss it.” It was a guess, but she saw the way his eyes widened a little.
Then he hiccuped and blinked a few extra times. “Excuse me. It’s possible that I may have celebrated a little too much.”
“Yeah. Which is why I’m suggesting, again, that you get home to sober up.”
“Don’t really want to do that.” His arms folded across his chest in a three-year-old’s version of stubborn.
“Fine. Have it your way.” She grabbed a clean cloth to start polishing glasses.
Tyler was quiet for a few moments. Unfortunately, his attempt at restraint was no match for the alcohol in his system. “You know those self-help books you’re reading are a con, right?”
She glared at him. “They’re just books. Maybe I’ll learn something, maybe I won’t.”
“They won’t cure what’s hurting you.” He leaned forward, as if he was about to share a secret. “The only cure for heartache is a good beer and a good lay. I’d be happy to help...”
“Stop!” He might be an old friend and a local hero, but she didn’t tolerate harassment. Ever. “You need to get the hell out of my bar if you’re going to be a jerk.” She moved toward him, grabbed his hat and clapped it on his head. And if she was a little rough, well, maybe he deserved it. She yanked him off his stool. He staggered into her, throwing an arm around her shoulders for balance.
She took a few steps to counter his weight and regained her footing. Dealing with drunks came with the territory. But dealing with Tyler felt a little different. Because he’d been a friend, she reminded herself. It was that old familiarity that had her noticing the way his body pressed warm and hard against hers. “Please tell me you didn’t drive here.”
“No car,” he told her. “My buddy took the keys.”
“He’s a good friend. You should thank him tomorrow.” She walked Tyler across the room, then shoved open the door so they both stumbled out into the cool night air. “You can walk home. It will do you good. Or sing really loud and the sheriff will pick you up and give you a ride. Of course, he might cite you for disturbing the peace, but I hear the fines are pretty small.”
“You’re the best, Kit.” He pulled her in closer, leaning down as if to plant a kiss on her mouth. She ducked out from under his arm and instinctively stuck her foot behind his. A quick shove on the shoulder and he was flat on his back in the gravel.
He stared at her, and she almost laughed at the shocked expression on his face. “Don’t kiss me,” she told him. “I’m not part of your celebration.”
His smile returned, slow and wide. He sat up and grabbed his hat from where it had fallen, setting it on his head. Then he shoved himself up and staggered a few steps to get vertical. “You haven’t even asked what I’m celebrating.”
“Your retirement. You told me, remember?”
“Nah... Not sure if I want to celebrate that. There’s more. A new business venture.”
“Well, I’m pretty sure I don’t care,” she told him.
“Sure you do.”
“Fine,” she said, packing as much sarcasm as she could into her tone. “What venture would that be? Something on your daddy’s ranch?”
He laughed as if she’d said something truly funny. “Nah, my brothers have that covered.” He took a few uneven steps, grinning at her in the faint glow of the outside lights. “You, Kit Hayes, are looking at the new owner of the Dusty Saddle.”
He took a few more steps, tipped his hat, then turned, stumbling down the street toward the center of town.
She stared after him, trying to absorb his words. As he walked away, he took her advice and broke into an off-key rendition of “Rhinestone Cowboy.” Then he disappeared around the corner.
Kit closed her gaping mouth and sank onto the cracked cement steps. Tyler had bought the bar? Kit hadn’t even known it was for sale. Chris had never mentioned it. Which stung, since Kit had been bartending for him for the past nine years.
She shoved her head into her hands. For a moment she relished the darkness there, the shutting out of everything. She’d clung to this idea of owning the Dusty Saddle for the past year. Using it as something to focus on besides Arch. Setting it as a goal to keep her satisfied with living in this town and looking after her dad. And now, in a few heartbeats, that goal had vanished.
This sucked. Just like everything had sucked since Arch got out of prison. She shoved off the step, not willing to sit crumpled and defeated. She walked to the edge of the parking lot. When she faced this direction, there were no lights from town to diminish the night sky. The stars exploded across the darkness, layer upon layer of cosmic insanity.
Usually the sky out here took her breath away. Tonight it just made her nervous. Because it reminded her, the way Tyler had, that in the grand scheme of things, she was nothing.
When Arch told her he didn’t want her after all, he’d broken her heart. But at least she’d had her work. A place where she felt she mattered. Now she knew that wasn’t true. The boss she’d worked so hard for had sold the business without a word to her. Under this vastness of stars she was a speck of dust, adrift and floating around this piece of the planet that once felt like home.
Stuck here, belonging nowhere.
Jealousy hit hot despite the cool air. What was it like to be Tyler Ellis? Born and raised in a wealthy ranching family, talented enough to achieve the highest level of his chosen sport. Now sauntering into town with enough money to buy a business that should have been her business.
Ha. Her business in another world, maybe. She was a Hayes. Permanently poor. Born and raised to work for the Ellis family, just like her daddy had.
If she worked for Tyler, would he screw her over, too? Like his father had cheated hers? Probably. Only he’d do it with a sugar coating of cowboy grin and flattering words, because people like Tyler thought the whole world was there just for them.
And why not? Because it was right there for them, waiting at their fingertips. While people like Kit were destined to watch their dreams, slippery as trout in a Sierra stream, wriggle right out of their grasping hands.
