Читать книгу Bound By My Scandalous Pregnancy / Redemption Of The Untamed Italian: Bound by My Scandalous Pregnancy / Redemption of the Untamed Italian - Maya Blake, Clare Connelly - Страница 14

‘You shouldn’t be going to work today, Sadie. You look even worse than you did yesterday. And you were out like a light when I looked in on you before I went to bed. I didn’t disturb you because I thought a full night’s sleep would do you good, but I can see it didn’t.’

I busied myself fetching milk I didn’t need from the fridge to make a cup of coffee I didn’t intend to drink. All so I could avoid my mother’s gaze and the questions lurking therein.

Despite despair and bone-tiredness leaching the strength from my bones, I strove to remain upbeat. ‘I can’t afford not to go to work. And I’m fine, Mum.’ The I promise I usually tagged on to the reassurance stuck in my throat. I couldn’t promise anything. Because I wasn’t fine.

I hadn’t thought it possible to be this far from fine when I blinked back tears as Neo Xenakis’s lift hurled me down to the ground floor after that unforgettable night.

I’d been wrong.

That cloying sense of unworthiness, germinated after my father’s desertion and watered by doubts and hopelessness, had trebled overnight, and the enormity of what I’d done both before and after meeting Neo Xenakis had thrown me into a state of raw despair. One that’d grown exponentially with the final notice from our landlord a week ago.

We were on a countdown clock to homelessness.

I hadn’t been able to bring myself to tell my mother yet.

But I’d been doing a lot of evading lately.

In between sporadic temping I’d ignored the flulike symptoms leaching my energy, initially attributing my delayed period to the condition. Even after a second period was a no-show, I’d refused to believe that fate would be so brutal. That the unthinkable could truly happen.

Then had come the bracing, inevitable acceptance that I wasn’t the victim of lingering flu, or a stomach bug that only attacked in the morning, but that, yes, I was capable of conceiving immaculately.

Shock.

Disbelief.

A brief spurt of searing anger at Neo Xenakis and his lies.

Followed by that ever-present tug of despair. That feeling of unworthiness. That cruel little reminder that my own blueprint was flawed.

But even while despair lodged a heavy stone in my chest there also came a quiet, even more bewildering…elation. Even though I was twenty-five, working jobs that paid a pittance and on the brink of homelessness with a mother who’d promised me, when I finally broke down and begged her to seek help, to combat her growing gambling addiction but had since regressed—as evidenced by the online betting pages I’d spotted on her phone yesterday.

That crushing list of failings was what had overwhelmed me last night. Made me pretend to be asleep when my mother entered the bedroom we shared.

Elation should be the farthest emotion on my reality spectrum.

A hysterical thought flitted across my mind. Perhaps I should have taken a gamble on myself. I’d be wildly wealthy and down one less problem by now. Because, despite all the odds against it, I’d fallen pregnant with Neo Xenakis’s baby after one utterly misguided folly.

A baby…

Sweet heaven…

I can’t father children…

The lie had dripped so smoothly, so convincingly from his lips. And I’d believed him. Had even hurt for him. When all he’d been doing was cruelly toying with my emotions.

Had he seen my feverish desire to stay anchored, connected, for just a little while, and viciously exploited it as some sort of payback? Did the man I’d given myself to, in an act I suspected had involved more than just the physical, bear traits of the father who’d so callously rejected me…?

‘Sadie, dear, are you sure you’re all right? You’ve gone as white as a ghost.’

I swallowed the encroaching nausea and a bubble of lurking panic, thankful that my mother hadn’t noticed that on top of my pseudo-flu I was also plagued by bouts of vomiting.

‘I’m not sick, Mum. Really,’ I said, infusing as much warmth into my voice as possible.

‘Okay, well…if you’re sure. I’m going back to bed. Have a good day at work.’

She left the kitchen after sliding a comforting hand down my back. Absurdly, the gesture made my eyes prickle.

I blinked the tears away, forced myself to revisit the subject that filled me with equal parts anger and dread: relaying the news to Neo.

His last tersely worded warning before tossing me out of his penthouse still lingered, two months on. And I believed he’d meant what he’d said.

Then, of course.

But in light of this life-changing news…

I wouldn’t know until I tried. Again.

My initial attempts to contact Neo had met a brick wall, with a few snooty receptionists even threatening to block my number if I kept trying to reach their illustrious boss. Apparently Neo had issued word that I was persona non grata.

Initially aggrieved by the realisation, I’d stopped trying to reach him for all of three days, before accepting that this reality wasn’t going to go away.

Neo needed to learn of his child’s existence sooner rather than later. And answer a few pointed questions in the process…

Since returning to his building and risking arrest or worse was out of the question, I ventured onto social media—only to discover that the Xenakis family were embroiled in the kind of publicity that drove the tabloids wild.

Apparently, in the last few weeks, Neo’s older brother Axios had returned from a brief trip abroad with his young wife in tow. A wife whose previous absence had been highly conspicuous, fuelling all kinds of scandalous speculation.

Now, not only had the young Mrs Xenakis returned from her mysterious absence without explanation, she’d apparently given birth while she was away. The reunited family had asked for privacy, but already several shots of a baby boy, Andreos Xenakis, had been leaked to the media. He was a gorgeous baby, who bore all the strong characteristics of possessing the Xenakis DNA.

How was Neo taking the news? And, the more important question, how would he take my news?

It was only eight o’clock. My temp job didn’t start until ten. That gave me a little time to attempt to reach Neo again.

Distaste at the thought of stalking him online lingered as I powered up my laptop. The first headline I found made my stomach drop.

Xenakis Aeronautics Soars to New Heights in the Far East.

Exhaling shakily, I read the article, calming down when I saw it focused mostly on Axios Xenakis and his spearheading of the airline conglomerate’s global expansion. Neo would be taking over the European arm of the company, starting with relocating to Athens with immediate effect.

The article was two weeks old. Which meant Neo might now be even further out of reach.

Suppressing the strong bite of despondency, I scribbled down the numbers of the Athens office, shut down the laptop and rushed to the bathroom just in time to heave.

A quick shower and a judiciously nibbled slice of dry toast later, I picked up my bag and headed for the door—only to pause when my mother called out.

‘Oh, Sadie, when you can, do you think you can buy me some data for my phone? I seem to have run out.’

Desolation deadened my feet. The urge to tell her that I was barely holding it together emotionally and financially, never mind providing a conduit for her addiction, tripped on the edge of my tongue. But I was woefully ill-equipped for a replay of the inevitable tears and depression that had dogged Martha Preston’s life since her husband’s cruel desertion. As much as I wanted to dish out tough love, I could barely hold myself together, and nor could I afford to lose another job because I was late.

Vowing to tackle the subject again that evening, I shut the door behind me.

The morning trundled by in the tedium of filing and answering phones.

After using the first minutes of my late lunch break to calm my nerves, I dialled the number I’d saved.

One minute later I hung up, my ears ringing after a crisp, accented voice informed me that while Mr Xenakis was indeed at his office in Athens, he did not accept unsolicited calls.

No amount of pleading had shifted the receptionist’s stance.

In the middle of the busy London park, I gritted my teeth and resisted the urge to scream. Or dissolve into helpless tears. Instead, on a desperate urge, I called up the web page of a budget airline, my heart racing when I saw a same-day return flight to Athens.

It would put further strain on my tight bank balance, and would require even more ruthless financial rationing, but the temp agency had no placement for me tomorrow and I had nothing planned for the weekend besides tormenting myself with the many ways my failed childhood might affect my baby…

Without stopping to debate the wisdom of it, I booked the ticket.

Regardless of his reasons for stating a blatant untruth, I owed Neo the news that he was going to be a father. Just as he’d deserved to know of my mistake at the Phoenix Clinic.

Would he think it was another unforgivable mistake?

Would he walk away even sooner than my father had?

It didn’t matter.

No. It matters. It’s why you won’t stop shaking.

I smothered the voice, shrugging mentally. For good or ill, I was going to beard the formidable lion that was Neo Xenakis in his den one more time.

But this time, I was suitably armed with what to expect.

The seat of the Xenakis airline empire was housed in a sprawling ten-storey building that took up a whole city block in the centre of Athens. Security was twice as tight as in London, but this time I didn’t linger outside. The brief, succinct note I’d hastily written in the taxi ride and shoved into an envelope trembled in my hand as I approached the ultramodern reception desk.

Before the efficient-looking receptionist could voice the disdain lurking in her eyes, I held out the envelope. ‘It’s essential that Mr Xenakis sees this immediately.’

Whatever expression she read on my face halted her answer. Rising, she took the note and walked away.

I retreated to the nearest set of expensive club chairs, arranged to maximise the appreciation of the stunning marble-floored, three-storey atrium that formed the welcoming entry into the world of Xenakis Aeronautics, the words of the note echoing in my head:

Mr Xenakis,

I’m downstairs in your lobby.

It’s in your interest to give me ten minutes of your time.

I’m certain you’ll regret it if you don’t.

Sadie

Bold words, which would either grant me an audience or fritter away the mercy he’d shown me by not asking Wendell to break out the handcuffs that day in London.

I looked up to see Wendell heading my way, as if summoned by my thought. My heart dropped, but I refused to look away.

‘If you’re here to throw me out, you should know that I’ll simply turn around and come straight back. Maybe you should tell your boss that?’

His expression didn’t change. ‘Mr Xenakis will see you now.’

I swallowed my surprise and followed him.

This time, knowing the calibre of the man who waited behind another set of imposing doors, I tightened my gut, sure I could mitigate the effect.

I was wrong.

Being on his home turf had heaped another layer of magnificent appeal upon a man who already held more than his fair share. In the sunlight that filtered through wide, rectangular windows, his dark hair gleamed. A skin-skimming stubble highlighted his strong jaw, and with that sexy dimple in his chin it was impossible to stop the flare of heat that attacked my body, robbing me of vital breath for precious seconds.

The matching jacket to his tailored grey trousers hung on a hook in the far corner of his office, leaving him in a pristine white shirt that moulded his broad shoulders and powerful biceps.

Terrified I was already losing the fight for composure, I hurried to speak. To get this over with.

‘Thank you for seeing me, Mr Xenakis.’

Eyes that had been conducting a slow, thorough scrutiny of me rose to fix on my face. ‘Miss Preston.’ His voice was grave. ‘I’m beginning to think you have some sort of death wish. Or do you simply relish testing my patience?’

‘Neither. Believe me, this is the last place I want to be.’

His arrogant head cocked. ‘I sense the inevitable but coming,’ he drawled mockingly. ‘Although I have no earthly idea what it could be.’

Despite his words, he narrowed his eyes, as if he fully suspected a scam. Or worse.

Say it. Just say it and leave.

I sucked in a breath that went nowhere near replenishing my lungs or giving me the courage I craved. ‘I’m pregnant. The baby is yours. I thought you should know.’

Deathly silence echoed in the vast office. Then he inhaled sharply, the white-hot sound sizzling across the large room.

‘Christos, you do have a death wish,’ he breathed in sizzling disbelief, and his face, unlike last time, when there’d been shock and bleak despair, was a picture of complete and utter fury.

‘I don’t, I assure you. But—’

‘Then you’ve taken complete leave of your senses. Because that can be the only viable explanation for this—’ He stopped abruptly, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides.

For one mad moment I wanted to say yes. That only a peculiar strain of madness would explain why I couldn’t look away from his face, why I couldn’t quite catch my breath in his presence.

‘The door is behind you. Use it right now or I won’t be held responsible for my actions.’

It was a hushed entreaty, perhaps even a final attempt at civility for a man hanging by a thread.

Considering I’d jumped on a plane with little hope of being granted even this audience, I was surprised I’d got this far. But complete dismissal wasn’t what I’d expected.

The urge to linger, to make him believe, if only for the sake of telling my baby someday that I’d tried, fired through me—along with the question that still demanded an answer. The question about his false statement, the consequences of which had certainly taken me by surprise.

But Neo’s face was turning even more ashen, his chest rising and falling in rapid shudders as he remained frozen in place.

‘Why?’ The question was ragged, torn from his soul.

‘Excuse me?’

He prowled forward several steps, granting me a better look at his face. And there it was. That look of desolation.

‘Why would you do this? Did someone put you up to it? As a joke, perhaps?’ he asked from between whitened lips. ‘Or a bet?’

‘We don’t move in the same circles, Mr Xenakis. Nor am I friendly with anyone who would deliberately cause someone distress with such a prank.’

‘Then tell me why?’

There was a tinge of desperation in his question. Of bewilderment.

‘Because it’s the truth!’

He jerked forward again, his throat moving as his eyes drilled into me. ‘No, it’s not. As I told you in London, I’m incapable of fathering children. Three years ago the best doctors in the world delivered that staggering news. And do you know what I did?’

Numb, I shook my head, my anger at his lies dissipating in the face of the searing emotion in his eyes.

‘I found a set of doctors with better credentials than the original set. Guess what? They arrived at the same conclusion. So now do you see how what you’re saying is impossible?’

Why?

Where?

How?

Questions flashed through my brain even while I accepted that this wasn’t the time or place.

I licked lips gone dry with growing anxiety. ‘I can’t speak to your experience. All I can tell you is my truth.’

If anything, his fury grew. ‘Does this truth involve a lapsed memory on your part?’

I shook my head. ‘I’m sorry—you’ve lost me.’

His jaw turned to steel. ‘You wouldn’t be the first woman to find herself in this situation and devise a plan to pass another man’s child off as—’

‘Don’t you dare finish that sentence!’

‘Because it’s much closer to this “truth” you seek to ram down my throat?’

‘Because it’s most definitely guaranteed to get you slapped! And while we’re throwing accusations around, what about what you said to me?’

‘I beg your pardon?’

‘You assured me I had nothing to worry about. You said I couldn’t get pregnant! That it was impossible.’

‘And I have a file of medical reports to back that up. What do you have?’ he snarled.

‘I have that immaculate conception you wished for, apparently. Because three pregnancy tests last week and a trip to the doctor confirms that I’m carrying a baby. Your baby!’

He shook his head, started to speak.

I held up my hand. ‘It’s fine if you don’t want to believe me. I don’t care.’

‘You do care or you wouldn’t be here. Or be crying,’ he grated.

Belatedly, I registered the dampness on my cheek. Hating myself for that weakness, I dashed my hand across my cheek. Only to feel more tears spilling.

‘It must be a side effect of being repeatedly labelled a liar. Or… I don’t know… Pregnancy hormones. But, no matter what, this was the right thing to do. And now it’s done.’

There—you’ve said your piece. Now leave.

But my feet refused to move.

His eyes narrowed with laser focus. ‘If there truly is a baby, does the news distress you that much?’

‘Yes! You lulled me into a false sense of security, made me think I had the flu when I’m pregnant!’

He went a little pale, his movements jerky as he closed the gap between us. ‘And what would you have done if I’d told you two months ago that there was this possibility, hmm? Considered your options without me in the picture, perhaps?’

‘Watch your tone, Mr Xenakis. The last thing you should be doing is lounging on that lofty perch and looking down your nose at me. What happened between us was consensual. What happened with the condom was unfortunate. You do not have the right to question my character. Considering the way we parted, do you really think I would be here, right now, if that was my intention?’

He seemed lost for words even as his gaze scoured my face, dissecting my words.

‘You said yourself you only verified the pregnancy a week ago. That means you’re about two months along. It’s not too late for other options. Maybe that’s your plan? To leverage those options?’

His insult sank in, sharp as a stiletto blade. ‘God, you can’t help yourself, can you?’ I realised I’d screamed the words only after they came out.

He frowned. ‘Calm yourself, Sadie.’

‘If you want me to calm down, then stop upsetting me—Neo!’

He sucked in a deep breath, then another. Then he whirled around, dragging his fingers through his hair. Swift strides put the width of the room between us and I watched him stare out of the window at the Friday afternoon traffic, tension riding his shoulders.

Walking out through the door should’ve been easy, but again that stubborn need to have him believe me held me rooted to the spot.

So when he abruptly grated, ‘Perhaps we should discuss this further. Take a seat. Please,’ I glared at his back for all of half a second before stumbling over to one of the twin plush sofas positioned tastefully at one side of his office.

Unlike his stunning but impersonal London penthouse, there were more signs of Neo Xenakis’s personality here. Priceless objets d’art were placed next to pictures of what looked like his family, and there was even a framed child’s drawing. On the coffee table, a large book on Mayan history was open to a well-thumbed page, and several more Aztec-themed books were piled to one side.

The notion that in another time or place I’d have liked to get to know this stranger whose baby I carried hit me hard.

I was busy pushing the thought away when I heard his deep, low tones. He stood at his desk, speaking in rapid-fire Greek. Done, he returned to the window and stood there for an age.

When he turned around, every inch of his body brimmed with purpose. ‘You mentioned that you saw a doctor?’

‘Yes…after I took the pregnancy tests.’

‘And?’

‘Everything’s fine so far.’

‘This probably won’t come as a surprise to you, but to me the possibility of an offspring is not…unwelcome.’

The depth of yearning in his low, deep voice rocked me to my core, softening a knotted place inside me I hadn’t registered until his words loosened it. Truth be told, I hadn’t allowed myself to think beyond delivering the news. Because when it came down to it, Neo had plenty of other options beyond having a baby with the woman who’d brought chaos into his life. If he was willing to accept—

‘If it’s mine, that is. And at this point I’m hard-pressed to be convinced it is.’

The soft place hardened, strangled tight by his words. ‘You really believe I’d lie about something like this?’

The yearning receded slowly, forced back by the power of his scepticism. And something else. Something dark and grave that took complete control of him, hardening his face into a rigid, implacable mask.

‘I’m a wealthy, influential man. Anyone with a competent internet connection can see for themselves what any association with the Xenakis family represents. Believe it or not, you won’t be the first woman to attempt to saddle me with a paternity claim. Even when the likelihood is remote.’

He believed it. He truly believed he was infertile.

Despite the anguish dredging through me, a tiny voice urged reason. Urged me to see this from his point of view. How many headlines had I caught from my mother’s gossip magazines that shouted about a celebrity vehemently denying alleged paternity? How many women had attempted to scam rich men by dangling a baby in their faces?

I was wasting my time.

Neo wouldn’t believe even if I shouted until I was blue in the face.

I rose. ‘Your hang-ups are your problem, not mine. I have a plane to catch, so I guess it’s goodbye, Mr Xenakis.’

He moved with impressive speed. Before I could take my next breath, Neo had arrived before me.

‘That’s it? You came to deliver the news and now you’re just going to head to the airport and return home?’

I dredged up a smile. ‘Let me guess. This is where you expect me to make some sort of demand? Maybe ask for financial support or a McMansion to live in while I carry your child? Well, sorry to disappoint you. I want nothing from you.’

The faint colour tingeing his sculpted cheekbones told me I’d hit the nail on the head.

‘Did you not hear me when I said I want this baby?’ he asked.

‘No, what I heard was you hedging your bets on the off-chance that I’m telling the truth. When you decide whether you want to believe me, I’m sure Wendell will be able to find me—’

‘No,’ he interrupted. ‘That is most definitely not how this is going to work.’

‘What’s that supposed to—’

We both froze when déjà vu arrived in the hideously embarrassing form of my stomach giving the loudest growl known to humanity.

He muttered what sounded like an incredulous Greek oath under his breath. ‘Tell me you haven’t been neglecting to eat?’ he bit out.

Heat consumed my face. ‘I’m in the throes of a spectacular experience called morning sickness. Anything I eat before a certain time rarely stays down.’

He frowned. ‘Surely there’s a remedy for that?’

I shrugged. ‘If there is, they haven’t found it yet.’

His frown intensified. ‘So the answer is what…? To starve yourself?’

‘I don’t do it deliberately, you know. My flight here was at an ungodly hour this morning.’

An exasperated puff of air left his lips as he glanced at his watch. ‘It’s now past noon. Does this mean you haven’t eaten all day?’

‘I tried to eat something on the plane.’

His lips twisted in distaste. ‘Budget airline food?’

‘We can’t all afford to travel on private jets, Mr Xenakis.’

‘Neo,’ he drawled. ‘Call me Neo.’

‘I’m not sure I want to call you anything, to be honest.’

‘If the child you carry is truly mine there’s one title you won’t be able to deny me,’ he stated with stone-rough gravity, just as a discreet knock sounded on the door.

He responded in Greek, and a moment later an impeccably dressed middle-aged woman entered, holding a package which she handed to Neo. Without glancing my way, she discreetly retreated.

He studied me for a moment, then reached into the bag. Although I suspected what the contents were, I was still shocked when he took out the oblong package.

‘You sent out for a pregnancy test?’

‘With the full intention of accepting any offence it might cause you, yes,’ he stated simply, his fingers tight around the box. ‘Will you take the test?’ he asked, his tone containing a peculiar note I couldn’t fathom.

There was something going on here. Something beneath the surface that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Again, questions surrounding the reasons why he believed he couldn’t father children crowded my brain.

Resolutely, I pushed them away and accepted the status quo. For now. ‘Only to prove I’m not a liar.’

I held my hand out for it but he hesitated, his jaw working for several seconds before he said, ‘You should know that this is merely a preliminary test to confirm your pregnancy. A test for paternity will be necessary when the time is right.’

My hand dropped, something hot and sharp lancing my chest. ‘You really are something else—you know that?’

‘Ne, I’ve been told.’ His stance didn’t change.

‘If you think I’m going to harm my baby just so your suspicions can be satisfied, you can think again.’

Emotion, heavy and profound and almost sacred, gleamed in his eyes. ‘So you’ve made up your mind? You intend to keep it?’ he rasped, his voice shaken.

‘You think I flew three and a half hours on a cramped middle seat, next to a passenger with a rabid aversion to good personal hygiene, to tell you I’m pregnant, only to go back and get rid of it?’

Neo’s gaze dropped to the hand I’d unconsciously jerked up to cradle my still-flat stomach.

‘You think I don’t have other things to do? I have a life to be getting on with. A mother who needs me to take care of—’ I shut my mouth, but it was too late.

The moment his eyes narrowed I knew he was about to pounce on my unguarded revelation. ‘Your mother needs taking care of? What’s wrong with her?’ he demanded sharply.

‘It’s none of your business.’

‘I beg to differ. If this baby is mine—’

I swatted the rest of his words away. ‘Enough with the ifs. Here—hand it over. I’ll take your precious test.’

Grim-faced, he held out the pregnancy test. I took it, then followed the tall, imposing body that hadn’t diminished one iota in the drop-dead-gorgeous stakes in the last two months down a wide private hallway adjoining his office to a sleek, dark door.

The bathroom was another stylish masterpiece—naturally. Gleaming surfaces held exclusive toiletries, polished floors echoed my nervous tread and the wide mirror faithfully reflected my wan features.

I diverted my face from it, hurried into the cubicle and took the test.

A little over three minutes later, I stepped out.

He stood, square and true, five feet from the door, his gaze piercingly intent on the stick in my hand. For a single moment—knowing what this meant even if he doubted me, knowing I was perhaps about to change Neo Xenakis’s life—something moved in my chest.

Then he ruined it by holding out an imperious hand for the test.

I handed it over.

His gaze dropped to it and he swallowed hard.

He seemed to rock on his feet—a fascinating feat to watch, especially for a toweringly powerful man like him. He didn’t speak, only held the stick as if it was a magic wand that had the potential to deliver his most heartfelt wish.

Afraid I would succumb to softening emotions again, I hurried to speak. ‘As you can see, it indicates how many weeks along I am. I can give you the date of my last period too, if you want?’

It was meant to be sarcastic. It fell far short simply because I wanted him to believe me. Wanted to take away his doubt once and for all.

Because I wanted to hurry to the part where, despite the evidence, he’d conclude that fatherhood wasn’t for him after all. That this was a mistake. That I wasn’t worthy to carry his child.

He didn’t respond immediately. When he lifted his gaze his eyes were a stormy, dark grey, the pupils almost black. ‘This is sufficient for now,’ he finally said, his voice gravel rough.

Then he turned and walked away.