Читать книгу The Accident: The bestselling psychological thriller - C.L. Taylor, C.L. Taylor, C. L. Taylor - Страница 16
Saturday 30th September 1990
ОглавлениеJames told me he loved me last night – four weeks to the day after our first date.
He took me to a fabulous Mexican restaurant in Camden – all low lighting, intimate tables, flickering candles and not a cactus in sight. I was trying to eat my fajita without it flopping all over the place but the harder I tried to angle it into my mouth the more food fell out the end and the more I laughed. When I looked across the table at James he had a terribly serious look on his face. I glanced behind me to see if he was reacting to some terrible accident out in the street but cars and people were streaming past as normal.
I put down my fajita. I suddenly didn’t feel very hungry any more. ‘What is it, James?’
He shifted in his chair. ‘You.’
‘What about me?’
‘You’re the most incredible woman I’ve ever met in my life.’
His eyes were fixed and unblinking, his mouth set in a straight line, his hands folded neatly in his lap. It was like he was looking beyond my flowery red dress, black beads and curled hair and peering straight into my head.
‘I love you, Suzy,’ he said. ‘I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you and it terrifies me, loving someone this much. I can’t sleep, eat or think because of you. I can barely act. I’ve lost control of who I am and that scares the shit out of me but I can’t run away because I love you so much. I can’t ever be without you.’
He searched my eyes, looking for a reaction. I’d never seen him look so worried. I smiled, desperate to relieve his discomfort, and reached across the table for his hands. He unfolded them from his lap and held my fingers.
‘I love you too, James but I’ve never felt more scared or vulnerable in my life. I’ve got no defences left, nothing to stop you from hurting me if you wanted to.’
‘I’d never hurt you Suzy-Sue.’ He let go of one of my hands and reached across the table so he could cup the side of my face. ‘Never. I’d rather hurt myself than see you in pain.’
There were tears in his tears but he brushed them away brusquely.
‘Let’s just go.’ He took a handful of notes out of his wallet and threw them down on the table. ‘Let’s go back to yours, put on a record, crawl into bed and block out the world.’
I couldn’t think of anything I’d rather do.