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BEGINNING: Starting a letter badly can ruin the impression you are trying to create even before you begin writing. It goes without saying that most English correspondence begins with the word ‘Dear’. Letters have used this format since the 17th century and there is no real alternative to the formula in the English language.

This may sound obvious, but it is absolutely crucial to get the recipient’s name correct. If you do not bother to find out the exact spelling of their name, including their initials, titles and hyphens, you cannot really expect them to be well disposed towards you. People care about their names and to get them wrong generally indicates that you have not really put enough effort into your communication. If you don’t take those extra few minutes to get these things right, then why should the recipient make an effort? It is not difficult to check. Simply telephone the person’s office and ask the switchboard or the secretary for the correct spelling of the name in question. Nobody will find this in any way peculiar.

When writing to a woman, try to address her correctly and exactly as she would wish to be addressed. Check first whether she is ‘Miss’, ‘Mrs’ or ‘Ms’, ‘Dr’ or anything else. It is really annoying to be given the incorrect title. Writing to a man is not quite as hazardous but the same rules apply.

‘Dear Sir’ is very formal and should really be used only for particularly impersonal correspondence, including letters to public organisations or law firms. It should not really be used when addressing specific individuals within those firms. If you want a positive response from one of these anonymous and immense organisations, however, it would always be sensible to ring them up first and ask for the name of an individual within the department with which you are trying to do business. If you do not name a specific recipient, your letter may go to the bottom of a slush pile of post and may then take weeks to be read. Again, telephone the switchboard and ask for the correct name and title of a suitable individual.

Modifications of the word ‘Dear’ should be used with caution. ‘My dear X’ can sound patronising and old-fashioned. Launching into a letter without using the word ‘dear’ at all – ‘Lily, how are you?’, for example -could be taken as implying that Lily is not dear, and, in fact, that you probably don’t like her. It might be staid and conventional, but to avoid the potential negativity of this impression it’s best to stick to the safety of ‘Dear’.

ENDING: If you have begun your letter with the recipient’s own name (whether this be surname or first name), then you should always end your letter with the phrase ‘Yours sincerely’. Yours begins with a capital Y while the s of sincerely is in lower case.

Start with ‘Dear Tom,’ end with ‘Yours sincerely’.

If you have begun your letter with the phrase ‘Dear Sir’ or ‘Dear Madam’, then you should end with the phrase ‘Yours faithfully’.

Start with ‘Dear Sir’ (or Madam), end with ‘Yours faithfully’.

And that is basically the rule.

All other phrases are merely modifications of this formula. If you particularly like someone, or don’t want to appear too formal, then signing off with the word ‘Yours’ is a good middle option. ‘Best wishes’ might suffice if you are writing to a relative with whom you are not particularly friendly or to a close colleague with whom you feel you have a really good working relationship.

ILLUSTRATION 3 Basic layout for a standard letter

‘Love’ should, not unreasonably, be reserved for personal correspondence and, even then, only for people for whom it might be appropriate. Your parents, your children and your siblings are obvious contenders. If you’re a woman, you can use ‘love’ for all your close friends also. If you’re a man, you might not want to.

The very final element of your letter will be your signature. Your signature represents you. Most people, when composing formal correspondence, sign themselves with an initial for their first name and then conclude with their full surname: ‘J. Author’. More fulsome souls might sign themselves ‘Jemima Author’, which is fine but suggests that you want the recipient to know your first name. Anything longer than this, however, merely takes up a lot of paper and looks rather self-seeking. Anything shorter – ‘Jemima’ – is certainly inappropriate for business correspondence. Bear in mind that your signature might not be absolutely legible, so always try to print your full name underneath your signature so that the recipient knows exactly how to spell it, should he or she need to reply.