Читать книгу Eligible - Curtis Sittenfeld - Страница 30

To Liz’s surprise, both Lydia and Kitty exclaimed with delight on hearing at dinner of Charlotte’s Charades invitation. “I hope you know I’ll kick your asses,” Lydia said, and Mary said, “By cheating, you mean?”

“What if we’re on the same team?” Liz asked. “Is your ass kicking restricted to your opponents or is it indiscriminate?”

“Do you ever pass up a chance to use a big word?” Lydia replied. “Or do you find that circumlocution always magnifies life’s conviviality?”

“That wasn’t bad,” Liz said. “Especially for someone who scored as low as you did on the verbal part of the SATs.”

“Stop quarreling, girls,” Mrs. Bennet said. “It’s unbecoming.”

“They’d never speak to one another otherwise,” Mr. Bennet said.

“Chip and I are going out Friday,” Jane said. “But if we weren’t, I’d love to come.”

“Charlotte’s inviting him, too,” Liz said, and Mrs. Bennet said, “I’m sure Chip would rather spend time alone with Jane. A new couple needs space.”

Lydia turned to her eldest sister, her voice merry. “Jane, do you think Chip will be the one you lose your virginity to?”

Mr. Bennet stood, dropping his napkin on the table. “As interesting as I find this conversation, an urgent matter has come up. I need a hamburger.”

Simultaneously, Liz said, “Dad, you can’t drive,” and Jane said, “Dad, you can’t eat red meat.”

Mr. Bennet gestured toward his plate, atop which sat moderate portions of lentil stew prepared by Jane and salad prepared by Liz. “This is unacceptable,” he said. “I’m not a small woodland creature. Lizzy, we’re going to Zip’s.”

“Dad, Dr. Morelock is the one who recommended a plant-based diet,” Jane said. “It wasn’t us.”

“The iron in a hamburger will help Dad,” Kitty said. “Just don’t eat the bun.”

“That’d be like watching a burlesque show with one’s eyes closed,” Mr. Bennet said.

“Yuck,” Mary said.

Mr. Bennet pointed toward the back door. “Hop to, Lizzy.”

Liz glanced at Jane, who sighed audibly. This Liz took as tacit permission, and she, too, stood; the truth, unfortunately, was that the lentils were almost flavorless. “Does anyone else want anything?” she asked.

Everyone did except for Jane—they requested hamburgers and cheeseburgers and french fries—though at the last minute, just before Mr. Bennet and Liz walked out the back door, Jane called after them, “Fine. I’ll take an order of onion rings.”