Читать книгу Blindsided - D. White E. - Страница 14

Actually, Holly did doubt her sanity at this moment in time, but Tom’s denials seemed genuine for once. Then again, he had always been good at playing the helpless academic fumbling through life, destined for greatness. He was an excellent speaker and an expert manipulator.

‘Who else has access to your phone?’

He shook his head. ‘Nice one, Holly, but Beth would never do anything so petty.’

‘And I would? How could I possibly send texts to myself from your phone? I didn’t even finish my first year at uni, remember, Tom.’ She couldn’t help but let the bitterness seep out and instantly regretted it as he pounced.

He stood up, shaking his head, buttoning his jacket. ‘You’ve lost the plot, Holly. I don’t know what’s going on but I’m having serious doubts about your state of mind at the moment. First the accident, now these odd accusations. Perhaps you need to see someone? I only came to check Milo was okay after the accident, so I’ll go and see him for a bit. You’re right, we can email about childcare arrangements.’ His square chin was set, like Milo’s when he was being stubborn about something. His eyes were contemptuous. ‘I’m sure you’ll see, in time, why Milo would be better off with me. You’ll never keep up with the repayments and pay the bills on your wages. I’ll wait and see how long it takes you to dig yourself into a hole, Holly, and then I’ll take my son to live with me, where he belongs. You can’t offer him anything.’

‘I’m his mum.’ Furious that her voice came out as a hissing whisper, Holly fought back tears.

He was already halfway out the door. ‘So? As I said, you nearly killed him in a car crash, and you work all hours so he hardly sees you. Perhaps it isn’t just work, maybe you go out with other men too, leaving your son alone in the house. That doesn’t sound like a good mother to me.’

‘What the fuck? I would never do that. You’re the one who was unfaithful, and you’re also the reason I have to work overtime.’ Her throat was choked with tears now, and the fire of fury was burning in her chest. Trapped, he had her trapped. Well, it wouldn’t work. No matter how hard she had to work, or what she had to do, he was never going to have Milo full time. Hopefully Beth would get pregnant soon, and a new baby would take his attention. Holly heard voices in the garden, Milo laughing, the sound of a ball bouncing off the wooden fence.

Tom looked hard at her. ‘I don’t know what you do when I’m not around, but your past isn’t exactly copybook is it?’

‘Neither is yours,’ she shot back, and then took a step back as his face changed into a mask of icy fury. The switch between his everyday persona and what she thought of as his ‘other face’ was terrifying. It didn’t happen often, but she’d seen plenty of glimpses of the real Tom in the nine years they had been married.

‘We agreed that would never be mentioned, didn’t we? Trading secrets, I believe it’s called. The deal still stands, but I was actually talking about your brother, and your family history. That’s hardly something you have successfully been able to hide, is it? I really believed you when you said you could change, Holly, and I feel like you’ve cheated on me. You are not the woman you promised you could be.’ He held up his hand, palm facing her, as though to stem any retaliation, and his face relaxed. Tom was on familiar ground now, lecturing delinquent students, shaking his head at bad behaviour. ‘No, don’t say anything, because you’ll regret it. Now, I’m going to spend a little time with my son, and then I’ll see myself out.’

Lydia passed Tom in the doorway, and whilst still ignoring him, took one look at her niece’s tear-stained face and pulled her into a hug. ‘What’s he said now?’

From the back door, Tom made an impatient noise, and slammed his way outside.

Holly blew her nose. ‘Still the same thing. He wants Milo, and he thinks he can get him by proving I’m an unfit mum. He says I’m not the same person he married, but I never lied to him about the family, and I was never ashamed of where I came from. I chose to get out because I wanted to, not because of some stupid snobbery. It’s him who doesn’t understand. He never did …’

‘I know, love, and you did the right thing. Your mum wouldn’t have wanted you to stay on Seaview, or have anything to do with the business. But Tom was always wrong for you. You should have stayed with the Mancini boy, although I know your dad would have liked to have seen you with a Nicholls. He used to say that with Joey having kids all over the place he was sure you’d find one you liked.’ She laughed, harsh and without amusement. ‘We all make mistakes, darling, believe me, I know.’

The thought of her mum gave Holly a little snag of pain deep in her heart. In her mind, the hit-and-run driver who had killed her mum was all tied up with Larissa’s murder and Jayden’s death. Violence was a way of life on the Seaview, and she didn’t want that for her son, but Tom had always been wrong about the majority of normal families who lived there.

There was fierce loyalty in the tight-knit community. That was the part she missed. As kids they had roamed all over the estate, accepting the contents of the pockets of drug dealers as easily as they did the bustling older people who fussed over them. The fact that one group offered coloured pills that sent you high, and the other group sugary snacks that made you hyper, was never a problem.

‘When I first got together with Tom I thought he was amazing, and now I can only remember his snide comments about kids from the estates.’ Holly paused. ‘He was surprised I did well enough at school to get into uni. In fact, he reckoned all of us lot – Jay, Devril, Niko and me – were thick just because of where we grew up.’

He aunt watched her with narrowed eyes. ‘Holly, love, you have to let it go. I know you were trying to change, to be someone else to escape what happened, but you don’t have to change. And you don’t need some bloke to chip away at your self-confidence either. We know who we are and where we came from, and there’s no shame in that. As for intelligence, I hate to say it but it takes a bit of brain to run a business like your dad did, and Jay was a little genius when it came to computers, wasn’t he?’

Holly smiled suddenly, recalling her big brother locked away in one of the derelict flats, hacking into various bank accounts, removing a little here and there and running his own version of his dad’s business. ‘Yeah, it’s just a shame he didn’t stop at the tech and stay off the drugs.’

Lydia picked up the empty mugs. ‘Tell you what though, Tom was right about one thing. Niko is fucking thick as two short ones!’

Holly grinned back, strength returning. ‘Anyway, loads of kids have parents who work shifts. Tom has no idea. He always had this feudal idea of me staying at home and pretending everything was perfect. That’s partly why I went to work with Cath, to piss him off. And to top it all off, he says he didn’t send those texts, and tried to make out I was going mad.’ She followed Lydia into the kitchen. ‘I promise to shut up about him in a minute, but how does he always manage to make everything my fault?’

Lydia dumped the mugs next to the sink and started rearranging the cutlery in Holly’s dishwasher. Straightening, she glanced through the kitchen window. Watching the boy hop round the garden, her own eyes were bright. ‘Think about Milo, love. He’s your kid and you should be proud. Tom doesn’t have a clue what goes on in real life. He never did.’ She turned to face Holly again, hands on hips. ‘He likes the cheer squads, the admiration that goes with his job. Obviously he’s clever, so he gets it at work, but he needs that at home too. That’s why he married you so young, and probably why, now you’ve grown up, he’s gone off with this other girl. How old is Beth?’

‘Nineteen.’

‘And he’s thirty-eight? Well, there you go.’

‘I suppose. There’s no way he’s going to win though. I’m keeping the house, and I’m keeping my son, even if it kills me. You know, he hardly mentioned the crash, the other boy, or the fact that there was someone following me. If there was one person I would suspect of trying to run me off the road, it would be him.’

Her aunt looked her sharply, one hand resting on the granite worktop, the other picking anxiously at a loose thread on her shirt. ‘Really? But he was in Portugal and this other boy …’

‘Oh, I know it wasn’t him. Milo would have recognised him when he saw him in the car anyway, and what would he be doing with a spare child? The point is, when I was scared, driving through the dark, thinking I was about to be carjacked or something, I thought it would be him. He really hates me. Whatever he says about the texts, it must be him or Beth. Nobody else would have access to his phone. He used to have a fit if I even answered it for him when we were together.’

Her aunt nodded slowly, biting her lip. ‘I did wonder … Don’t take this the wrong way, love, but all that old trouble with Jayden … Niko’s out now, and you told me the police saw Devril Mancini at the petrol station. Could this be something to do with your brother?’

Holly blinked, shocked. ‘Jesus, Lydia, of course not. That was all finished with ages ago, and I’ve not had anything to do with that lot for years. And Jayden’s … Well, he’s dead isn’t he?’

Lydia looked away, cheeks flaming. ‘Yes, of course. I’m just saying, that’s all. Let’s not talk about it anymore. I just wanted to say … But you’re right, it will bring back bad memories.’ She dashed a hand across her eyes and started rummaging in the cupboard. ‘How about cottage pie for dinner, love?’

Holly watched her for a moment, but let it go. Clearly her aunt had more to say on the subject, but she knew from experience not to push it. Why would anyone go after her anyway? The answer sprang up in an instant, and the thought made her gut clench with fear. Because what happened was her fault.

The door banged as Tom marched in from the garden and made his way out of the house. He called a cheerful goodbye to his son, but ignored the two women.

Milo bounced back into the kitchen, swinging along on his crutches, showing Lydia the ripped-open box of Ninjago Lego that was his latest present. With a sudden stab of emotion Holly thought of the other child again, the one who was never far from her thoughts. What kind of a life did he have? Did he play with Lego like Milo, or have furious games with dragons?

Preoccupied, Holly watched her ex-husband stride out into the road, getting carefully into his new Jaguar F-Type. He adjusted the driving mirror, taking his time, smoothing back his hair, clicking his seatbelt into place. The car was just another status symbol, another example of the toys that his reputation had brought him. Lydia was right, he loved the adoration from his students, the praise from academic journals, the spotless and much-talked-about career. She thought of what Tom had said about trading secrets. Well, yes they had, but how long would the trust hold, how long would it be until one of them had nothing to lose by telling the truth?

Shoving the emotions away, Holly picked up her phone. ‘Lydia, I’m just going to ring the hospital and see if there’s any news on that other boy.’

Lydia appeared in the kitchen doorway, tea towel in her damp hands, her dark eyes bright with interest. ‘That’s a good idea, love. I hate to think of a kid all alone, and you said he doesn’t seem to have any family. Whoever left him was wicked, plain evil.’