Читать книгу A Rich Man's Baby - Daaimah S. Poole - Страница 11

At every light I stopped at on the way home from work, my thoughts overflowed. It just seemed like life was so damn hard. Why the hell me? How the hell am I ever going to get out of this rut of not having money and being able to pay all my bills?

I was still trying to figure out how I was going to pay a seven-hundred-dollar cell phone bill. I just hoped our cell phones didn’t get cut off. I spent just about all my savings and was having a hard time filling my gas tank up on my own and giving the kids an allowance. I mean, the flip side was I could have kept Tyrone around, but it would have been just for his paycheck. That wouldn’t have been fair to him, and I’d rather try to make it on my own. I just had to start bringing my lunch to work instead of eating out every day and cut back on everything. I thought I still might have to get a second job to handle all my expenses. The only time I missed Tyrone was when I started thinking about my finances. I was so happy to have my bed to myself. I stretched out and didn’t have to hear no snoring. I didn’t have to wake up in the middle of the night to turn off the television, and I didn’t have an old man begging me for sex.

My only regret was I wished I had left him sooner. I’d been feeling incomplete for years, but I was too scared to leave. I always asked myself, Who’s going to help me with the children and pay the bills?

I should have him left when I was in my twenties, ’cause now at thirty-two, I wasn’t old, but it was going to be a little harder getting on the dating scene. I knew I still looked good. No one could ever believe I was over thirty. I didn’t do anything special, but I maintained my weight. And I drank a lot of water. My mocha skin was always smooth and soft, and my hair, I wore it just below my shoulder. I did very little makeup. But however I looked on the outside, I didn’t feel it on the inside. I’d been around an old man for so long I had old-lady ways. Tyrone was still heartbroken, but I couldn’t live for him. His best friend George’s wife, Rose, had been calling me, asking me to reconsider. His chains were off me. I was free, and I wasn’t turning back.

I soaked in the scalding hot bubble bath. I liked my water so hot that I could barely take it. I sat in the tub and just relaxed. I had the Smooth Jazz station playing. My mind was at ease. I had my dinner cooking on low and had just enough time to relax, until I heard a loud knock at the door. It never failed. I couldn’t even take a bath without somebody bothering me. I loved my kids, but I always imagined life without them. I’d been tied down since I could remember.

“Mommy, my daddy told me to tell you he downstairs,” Kierra yelled.

“Okay, tell him I’ll be down,” I said as I hurried and washed and let the water out of the tub.

After I dressed in my walk-around-the-house clothes, I came downstairs to see Tyrone sitting on the sofa. He looked like he had tried to clean up some, and he had lost a little weight. He had a haircut and shaved off his gray sideburns. I still wasn’t attracted to him. He stood up so I could see the changes.

“What’s up?” I said as I looked at him with my hands on my hips.

“Nothing, just wanted to have a quick visit. Where are Jamil and Alexis?”

“Alexis is over at her friend’s house, and Jamil didn’t get in here yet.”

“Well, hopefully I’ll get to see them before I leave. Jamil had called me yesterday, said he wanted to talk to me. Something smells good,” he said as Kierra played with his nose and eyes. I guess he wanted me to ask him if he wanted some dinner.

“You want something to eat?” I huffed.

“That would be nice. I’m losing weight; ain’t been eating right since you kicked me out,” he laughed. He was looking for a reaction from me, but he didn’t get one.

“Your dinner’s on the table. Kierra, go eat,” I said as I went to get Kierra’s and my clothes ready for the next day.

I came back downstairs and he was sitting on the sofa. Baby Girl was asleep on his chest. Ty’s boots were off and he had the remote in his hand like he still lived there.

“All right, Tyrone. I’m going to bed.”

“Is that an invite?” he chuckled.

“No, it is not. I’m too tired to play with you.”

“So you sure you don’t want me to come up? Kierra’s asleep and the kids are not here.”

“I’m very sure, Tyrone. Can you lock the door on the way out?”

He looked at me like I had said something wrong.

“All right, soon as I see the end of this I will. I’m going to put the trash out for you.”

“You don’t have to. Jamil will do it tomorrow.”

“I don’t mind.” Tyrone was using any excuse to stay a little longer.