Читать книгу The Shroud - Dale Fowler - Страница 5

JIM CIRMAH LOST all interest in playing the pickup soccer or basketball games that seem to occupy most of the seventh grade boys at Mitchell Middle School in Dallas, Texas in 1998. He didn’t want anything to do with the Mitchell Wildcats football team. He had started at linebacker during the sixth grade, a rare accomplishment competing with kids two years older than him.

His life fell into a grinding existence ever since his mother’s death eight long months before. In spite of the understanding and extra leeway from the football coach and other teachers, he didn’t want to participate in anything requiring one ounce of concentration or focus. The drugs to help make him acclimate back into a young human being only made him angry and short tempered. He’s been in two fights already, looking for a third to brush up against him when the next corner is rounded.

The accident that killed his mother was not your run-of-the- mill fender bender involving someone drunk or running a red light. Jim heard the term freakish mentioned numerous times when friends and relatives swarmed the house for the few days sandwiched between the accident and funeral. His stepfather, Odis Staymen, used the term “God’s Will” to describe a bird flying from one tree to the next, so it’s no surprise he used it to convey the last moments of his mother’s life.

Jim didn’t care too much about God’s willingness to direct anything since Odis married his mother four years ago. Only ugliness has any fun in the Cirmah family since his arrival. Jim is ready to give God credit if Odis suddenly dies from a massive heart attack, and until then he didn’t care to be one of the flock.

A cattle truck blew a tire and jumped two lanes crashing into a concrete guardrail. A seventy-pound chunk of guardrail fell forty feet below onto another section of interstate smashing the windshield of his mother’s SUV killing her instantly. God’s Will notwithstanding, she was dead, and Jim’s life is about to free fall faster than that block of concrete hurling down to the freeway below.

The only man in Jim’s life that meant anything to him up to this point is his Grandfather, Denzel. A wealthy rice farmer in Arkansas stern but fair, Denzel took Jim to his farm during summer and winter breaks teaching him how to fish and hunt. Jim was driving a combine at twelve-years old earning money used to buy a sixteen-gauge shotgun and the endless boxes of shells he’d shoot trying to hit ducks flying into rice country by the thousands from Canada.

The farm and his Grandfather represented good times and tempered the realities of dark things happening at his house in Dallas.

Jim is quickly hardening to life’s unfairness. When his stepfather quoted the Bible hitting him with a two inch leather belt, his anger toward God and Odis built like a lava field boiling under the surface ready to explode.

He long ago stopped the incessant complaints about the quick-tempered, alcohol fueled Odis to his mother; there’s only excuses because she’s terrified of being alone. Jim’s real father left the family three years into Jim’s life right after the birth of his younger sister, Brenda. It’s never clear to Jim why he abandoned the family; his mother always drifted off into “life’s not fair” routine when asked. Soon it mattered little to Jim; he didn’t have curiosity or emotion about a man walking away from him and his sister as babies.

Brenda was an outgoing little girl for the first few years of her life but at age six she became withdrawn and distant when Odis moved into the house. It confused Jim at first; Brenda spent much of the time in her room writing in a diary or deep into school books. Jim is just the opposite, hating the inside of the house and staying outside to play street sports. He’d do anything to get away from the biblical glare of Odis and the Christian shrine covering the house on every wall. Soon he would get the chance to leave it all behind.

Jim made up his mind to make a stand. That stand came in the form of refusing to go to church with Odis and Brenda three Sundays ago. It’s bravely executed, but Jim knew Odis might beat him half to death for making such a statement without his mother being around.

Strangely, Odis only yelled obscenities Jim guessed didn’t come from the Bible but calmed down rather quickly. He grabbed Brenda’s hand and went to church without him. The house long ago ceased being a home to Jim, so the last few weeks he looked forward to his Sunday morning freedom defying yet one more position of authority in his life.

Jim and the Dennis’ twins built a treehouse in a black oak stand of trees only a block away from the house. This Saturday he’s surprised to see Brenda perched in the treehouse when he opens the trapdoor crawling up through the floor.

She smiles at him and Jim sees a spark of life missing for a while. Jim smiles back but issues a warning. “You know we don’t allow girls in our treehouse.”

Although this thought had been discussed by the guys, it had never been challenged with the actual appearance of a girl sitting on a milk carton case in their treehouse next to him.

Brenda has a backpack setting next to her and several books lying around her corner of the treehouse. She starts to gather the belongings to leave.

Jim looks out the window at the lot below hoping the Dennis’ twins wouldn’t climb the tree and find his sister in the sacred temple they spent many weekends constructing. Her anxiety to obey her brother slid a sliver of guilt down Jim’s back and he immediately gave her a moment of reprieve.

“You can stay for a while... but if David or Darren show up, you’ve got to go.” He knew he had to draw the line, sister status notwithstanding.

All Brenda could muster is a second smile and tentative voice. “Thanks, I’ll sure leave shortly,” she concedes. “Nice treehouse.” She tries to regain favor.

Jim listens to her faint sentence and realizes this is the most he’s heard fall off her lips in several weeks. He didn’t understand the answer to his sister’s withdrawal, and certainly has no idea the tool defining her troubles changing both of their lives forever lies innocently next to her backpack.

Jim takes the treehouse compliment in stride as if expected, after all it did come from his sister.

“Yeah,” he brags.

“We’ve already had two dirt clog battles in the fort with the Wilcox brothers...won both.”

Brenda looks out the window on her side of the treehouse suddenly turned fort imagining the clay dirt clogs raining down on the local bullies.

“Don’t doubt it....you could really chunk a dirt clog from up here.” She summarizes displacing a slight smile.

Jim is impressed with Brenda’s war strategy recognition.

“You can come up any time the twins aren’t around.” A large concession is made.

Brenda and Jim enjoy another thirty minutes of solitude twenty feet off the ground before the Dennis’ twins pull up on bikes, and Jim quickly ushered Brenda down the tree to return home and a make believe world. In her rapid haste to leave, Brenda inadvertently pushes an opening to her soul and darkest secrets under the edge of the milk carton case used as a chair. The diary is a habit she penned daily and didn’t have a clue it fell from her backpack.

After the twins join Jim in the treehouse, the boys get bored shooting rocks using a sling-shot at birds flying into the wrong tree. A decision is made to go to the Dennis’ house for a football throw around. Several more neighborhood boys join the toss around and soon a game of tackle football breaks out and lasts till dark.

Jim avoids going home whenever possible and when Mrs. Dennis asks him to have dinner, he jumps at the chance. He returns home around 10:00 Saturday night and easily gets by Odis passed out on the living room couch and goes to bed.

Sunday morning starts down the usual path, Odis put on the same jeans and blazer he wears to church every outing with the exception of a new golf shirt he bought at Target. He wakes Brenda up and together they are at the church thirty minutes early for the first of three services Odis ushers for.

Jim gets up around 9:30 and goes over to the treehouse knowing the twins would show sooner or later and plans how the day will be set. When he gets there the twins are passing a book back and forth not one of the three Playboys they managed to sneak away from Odis. It is Brenda’s diary. The twins look up at Jim, a mixture of wonderment and fear in their eyes.

Jim realizes who owns the small book having seen it in Brenda’s tow many times, but the thought of reading its contents never entered his mind. In his eyes, Brenda is the little sister writing about butterflies and unicorns. Darren Dennis hands Jim the diary and the brothers immediately scamper down the tree and head home. Jim senses something is terribly wrong in the diary from their reaction, and sits in the treehouse unwillingly exploring the antics of the child predator he lives with.

Brenda’s writing isn’t filled with great detail, but leaves little doubt about the ongoing horror her life’s been during the previous four years. The power Odis wields over Brenda is absolute and heightened since their mother’s death. Jim could only read a small portion of the diary before his stomach demands he stop. He knows enough to make a decision altering many lives for years to come. He heads home, a heavy grip on the diary and his heart.

Odis Staymen is a vile person no matter what angle you assess his personality. The day Brenda lost her diary in the treehouse, he loaded a shopping cart with Grey Goose Vodka and Budweiser. His love for vodka started as a teenager and the affair so intense, he’s in the advance stages of liver disease. He ignores his liver because it remains silent in its distress, but the ulcers in his stomach demand immediate attention screaming pain.

Placating the strong message in his stomach, he starts out drinking vodka but finishes on beer to maintain a high and insure a little less Pepto-Bismol consumption. On a good weekend he’ll empty two fifths and a case of Budweiser.

Staymen, beyond being an alcoholic, is a pathetic human being. He was abused as a child and witnessed two older sisters sexually molested by his father. A family tradition he carries on beating Jim and the sexual abuse of Brenda since she was six. His mild-mannered response to Jim’s refusal for church has its roots firmly planted in the fact he’s planning on leaving the family after collecting the $25,000 insurance policy his deceased wife carried at her job in a small credit union. That check is coming in the mail in two weeks, but Staymen will never cash it.

The sixteen-gauge shotgun is pulled from the corner of his closet and loaded with five shells. Jim’s mind is swirling with activity pacing back and forth in his bedroom. The thoughts are not questioning the intent to kill Odis, but what is the best plan to execute it.

He decides to watch Odis pull in the driveway through the living room window, then hide in a small bathroom next to the kitchen only a few steps from the front door. When Odis walks into the front door, he’ll come out to do the world and his sister a favor.

A long forty minutes later the plan is put into action. Brenda opens the front door and starts up the stairwell to her bedroom on the second floor. Jim watches posed on a small crack in the bathroom door, but for some reason Odis isn’t right behind her. Odis is talking to a neighbor about a strange dog running around in the neighborhood and depositing unwanted things on their lawns. The next door neighbor is a drunk too, and likes the way Odis thinks. Far more will be deposited on the front yard than dog feces for the neighborhood to talk about shortly.

Jim opens the door slightly as his sister closes her bedroom door at the top of the steps. He eases out into the kitchen, the shotgun pressed against his shaking shoulder firmly like his Grandfather taught him. Odis disengages the next door drunk and heads up the three steps to the front door intent on visiting Brenda in her room.

When he opens the front door Jim is no more than ten feet in front of him, the shotgun pointed at his chest. Odis stops. He is shocked at first taking in the threat, but it quickly wears off replaced by anger.

“What the hell are you doing pointing that shotgun at me, boy?” The man wearing the clean Target shirt demands.

Jim didn’t contemplate conversation; in fact, he intended to blow him away the moment he came into the room but now the devil’s tongue is wagging at him.

“Staymen, you ain’t ever going to hurt Brenda or me again.” A determined voice predicts the immediate future.

Brenda hears the exchange and comes out on the small landing on the second floor.

Odis Staymen did what he always did when angry at Jim; he unbuckles his Texas Longhorn belt, pulls the belt from the loops in his jeans and starts toward the barrel of the sixteen- gauge he foolishly believes will never be used.

Brenda screams watching Staymen advance and Jim turns his head at her voice. Odis grabs the barrel of the gun in the distraction and tries to yank it away from Jim’s grip. The first blast knocks Odis back to the open front door. Before he gets through the doorway, Jim fires a reflex second shot ripping the once-new Target golf shirt leaving no doubt just how dead Odis Staymen has suddenly become.

Jim doesn’t remember much about the events following the shooting. He and Brenda sit on the couch holding onto one another when the cops came through the front door and kicks the shotgun away from the coffee table in front of them.

Jim is cuffed and put in the backseat of a squad car. The last time he sees Brenda alive, Mrs. Dennis’ arm is around Brenda’s shoulder. Both are crying as the police car pulls away from the dog shit still lying on the ground covered up by a blanket.

The criminal process in Texas is hard on anybody that jumps across the bold line of the law. Jim has a number of things in his favor when going to court, not-the-least he’s only thirteen-years old and killed a child molester. But murder is taken seriously even in the so-called “gun capitol of the free and brave” and there’s a price to pay.

He spends the next eight years in a boy’s reform school run by a number of tough Catholic priests wielding a strong hand when it came to discipline. Jim left one child beater bleeding on the ground only to be introduced to a dozen others carrying the same leather Bibles and belts. Jim finds his repentance in many strip clubs but no churches when released shortly after his twenty-first birthday and moves to Southern California.

Nothing is left in Dallas to keep Jim Cirmah. Sadly, Brenda committed suicide three days after her seventeenth birthday when her boyfriend tried to touch her breast and she panicked in the process. Odis Staymen’s last gift to the Cirmah family is an everlasting one.