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CONTENTS

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Introduction

Dr Heimlich writes to a colleague

Werner Herzog’s note to his cleaning lady

Lance Armstrong writes to a fan

Pope Benedict XVI’s handover notes

William Burroughs rewrites the swimming pool rules

A model writes to Auguste Rodin

Lou Reed writes to a television producer

James Joyce’s out of office

Orson Welles’ suggestions for The Transformers: The Movie

A letter from a wise man

A doctor writes to Lou Gehrig

Tweets from the 1965 Newport Folk Festival

A note from Alexander Graham Bell’s business manager

A publisher writes to Geoffrey Chaucer

Brian Eno’s discarded oblique strategies

A Christmas round-robin from the Freud family

Tim Berners-Lee’s World Wide Web development diary

The head of the American Lizard Lovers Association writes to Jim Morrison

Albert Einstein contacts a photographer

Brian Jones’ hopes for the Rolling Stones

A potential competition winner writes to Alfred Hitchcock

Neil Armstrong’s letter home

Letter from the table next to the Algonquin Round Table

Information to all Pizza Archipelago employees on the arrival of Van Morrison

Cormac McCarthy gives directions

Wilbur Wright writes to his brother

David Simon writes to HBO Enterprises

Charles Darwin writes to his American publisher

Anti Caligula Campaign ad

The Mark E. Smith audio guide to Ripon Cathedral

Jane Austen writes to a love rival

Captain Scott’s other last letter to his wife

An eviction notice from St Francis of Assisi’s landlord

Patti Smith’s gym application

Salvador Dali’s to do list

A benefactor contacts Baden Powell

Art Garfunkel writes to Vampire Weekend

Joan of Arc’s note to her captors

Notes for Bill Gates’ first High School reunion

Edgar Allen Poe vs. The Baltimore Sanitation Department

A lover replies to Vincent Van Gogh

Biddy Baxter writes to a viewer

Neil Young’s shopping list

Agatha Christie’s jury duty notes

Galileo gets a reply

Gandhi writes to his dry cleaner

Bo Diddley writes to his publicist

Ivan Pavlov contacts his local pet store

A letter from George Orwell’s publishers

Harold Pinter moves into greeting cards

Beatrix Potter tries to get an overdraft extension

Marie Antoinette’s prison letter

Correspondence between Warhol Superstars

Björk writes to Goldie’s parents

Andrew Lloyd Webber’s notes after the first rehearsal of Jesus Christ Superstar

A sick note from Ernest Hemingway’s mother

Björn writes to Benny

Acknowledgements

About the Publisher

Letters of Not Lite

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