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Acknowledgments Acknowledgments

To Central Recovery Press: Thank you for taking a chance on me. I hope to make you proud. And to Eliza, the coolest editor ever: Thank you for putting up with all my cat memes. You are simply the best.

To my sober sisters and brothers: You are my ever-present lifeboat. You kept saying, “It will get better,” and yep, you were right. Thank you.

To the Booze-Free Brigade: I lift my La Croix to all of you. Thank you. You know how special you are.

To my church: I’m usually really good with words, but I can’t really put into words just how much you mean to me. Thank you.

To my friends: All of the really good parts of this book are dedicated to you. I wrote them when you were watching my children.

To Jenni and Sherry: No, really. Thank you for loving me. And thank you for your evil sense of humor. We are family. And we really do put the “fun” in dysfunctional. I adore you guys.

To my mom: I’m really sorry about the bad words and the parts about sex. But I sure do love you. Thank you for your wisdom, your letters, and sweetness. You should write a book.

To my dad: You are my hero. Always have been. Always will be. I love you.

To my sweet husband: We make a good team. Thank you for not sending me back down to the minors. I love you so.

To Charlie and Henry: You are the best of the best, and I love you to the moon and back. Now, go to bed.

Thank you, sweet Jesus, for your love and all those times you said, “I’m here. Don’t freak out.” I’m sure that’s in the Bible somewhere. You are my all in all.

And to all mommies, all of them, everywhere, who are sick and tired of being sick and tired. This is for you.