Читать книгу Endless Night - Dana Mentink - Страница 9

Jackie stared out the window at the blinding white below. She felt it inside too—a stark, flat feeling, as though her heart was as frozen and untouchable as the tundra. Why hadn’t she seen it coming? Roman had always been interested in flying. He loved the outdoors. It was a logical leap that he would still be working in Alaska, but she never suspected he would be so closely connected to Delucchi Lodge. Not after what had happened, not after two long years.

Her stomach knotted and she kept her gaze as far away from Roman as possible. Dark hair, longish, falling into his face. A shadow of stubble on his strong chin, dimples when he’d smiled at Byron Lloyd, and the eyes, the familiar hazel eyes, self-assured, confident, cocky. In the two years they’d been apart, nothing had changed. He was the same Roman.

She could hear her father’s angry voice in her mind.

He killed your brother. I will never forgive him. Never.

They had had only one tortured conversation after the accident. It was the only time she’d seen Roman completely vulnerable, unable to even form a coherent sentence, his then twenty-three-year-old face twisted in agony. She closed her eyes at the awful memory.

Squeezing her hands together she forced herself to take a breath. She had more important matters to worry about than Roman. After he dropped her at the lodge she would put him out of her mind.

At the airport in San Francisco, she’d bought a satellite phone, though she’d almost choked at the thousand-dollar price tag. She had to be sure Asia could reach her, so she e-mailed her the phone number via her laptop just before the flight. It might be a risk if Reynolds’s people could hack into her e-mail, so she sent only the phone number and didn’t include any other details. She wished again that Asia and Asia’s boyfriend, Mick, had come along. But Asia was right—Mick needed medical attention for his injuries and it was probably smarter for them not to fly together, anyway. In the agonizing hours before the plane departed, she’d been lucky enough to find a place in the airport to charge her phone and to buy a duffel bag and some sundries. There were no messages from her friend through the Internet or on her home answering machine. Where was she? Jackie could still hear the panic in her friend’s voice.

Just get away somewhere, anywhere.

Under the pretense of studying the mountains, she shot a glance behind her at Byron Lloyd. She found him gazing at her intently.

“Where do you hail from?” he asked.

Jackie’s stomach knotted. “West Coast.”

“Whereabouts?”

She forced a smile. “Oh, you know. Here and there. How about you?”

“San Francisco area.”

Her gut twisted even further. “Well, you’ll love the Delucchi Lodge.” She realized she’d given herself away.

“Oh, you’ve been there before?”

She nodded, saved from a reply when Roman took the plane down toward the cleared strip of frozen ground. She saw Skip Delucchi waiting, his hair a little sparser than she remembered, his long face and prominent nose giving him a hound-dog look.

Skip wrapped her in a hug when she dropped down from the plane. “Jackie, it’s so good to see you. I was completely surprised when you called me from the airport. Thank goodness we had one cabin still vacant.” He shot an uneasy glance at Roman, who was pulling luggage out of the plane’s cargo hold. He lowered his voice. “Did you and Roman get a chance to catch up?”

“No. I’m not feeling chatty, I guess.”

He hesitated for a moment. “Yes, well, it doesn’t matter. June is so excited that you’re here. She hasn’t stopped baking since sunup.”

Skip introduced himself to Lloyd, who Jackie noticed had been taking in their conversation with interest. He helped them into a battered Range Rover and, with a final word to Roman, headed toward the distant lights of the lodge. Jackie glanced quickly into the side mirror. Roman stood tall and straight against an unforgiving glare of white. In the distance, above the snow-crusted bluff, she thought she could just make out the roofline of the still unfinished cabin, the place where everything had ended in the blink of an eye.

In spite of the circumstances, the sight of the Delucchi Lodge stirred a warm nostalgia in her. She savored the profile of the rugged mountains that backed the property and the thick stand of snow-topped pines that stood sentry around the main cabin. Smaller cabins were sprinkled along the property. A massive set of antlers festooned the doorway, and Jackie was greeted by the smell of roasting meat and apple pie.

June appeared in the tiled hallway, wiping her hands on a worn apron. Her dishwater-blond hair hung in a careless chop at her shoulders, her blue eyes accented by deep crow’s feet that Jackie had not noticed two years before.

“You look wonderful. I’m so glad you’re here.” She wrapped Jackie in a cinnamon-scented embrace. “Fallon will be glad too. I wonder where she is, anyway.”

Jackie was not so sure about Fallon’s reception. Fallon had only wanted to be around Jackie because of her brother. The girl had adored Danny with the deep passion of a love-struck teenager.

They exchanged more pleasantries until Skip offered to show Jackie and Byron to their cabins. “Be dark in a couple hours. Best get you settled in.” He turned to Jackie. “You’re staying in Riverrun. I thought you’d like that.”

Jackie nodded. “That’s perfect. I’ll go myself. You take care of Mr. Lloyd.” Jackie thanked him and watched the two march off into the snow. She was dismayed to discover when they stopped that Lloyd would have the cabin closest to hers. Just relax, Jackie. He’s a nosy reporter, that’s all.

She was about to head out herself when June stopped her. “Jackie, what were you thinking, coming here with that flimsy jacket? Did you forget we’re north of the Arctic Circle?” She fetched a heavy coat from the closet and helped her into it.

Making her way to her cabin, Jackie wondered if her abrupt arrival had inconvenienced Skip and June. Perhaps she should turn around and leave. But it was not the time to make such decisions so late in the day, not in Alaska, not this time of year when there was only a scant four hours of sunlight each day. She resolved to at least help June in the kitchen and ease any burdens she might have caused by showing up on short notice.

As she turned around to pick up her duffel, she saw Lloyd looking out his small cabin window, his dark eyes fixed on her. The curtain quickly fell into place as he stepped back out of sight.

With a surge of fear, she closed her cabin door.

Roman flew the plane past trees thoroughly crusted with ice, against the backdrop of rigid mountains. He was relieved to take off, glad to be alone with his thoughts.

The shock of seeing Jackie still tingled in every nerve. She looked different than the last time he’d seen her, the grief not as fresh in her face. An anger had taken its place and rooted itself deeply in her eyes.

The guilt swirled up like wind-whipped snow. Jackie still despised him, and he despised himself for what had happened those two years ago.

He tried to concentrate on the feeling of the plane as it banked smoothly. He had to remind himself that the beautiful de Havilland did not belong to him and never would, unless business picked up. He’d been saving every dime he made, but he was still fifty thousand dollars short. Fifty thousand roadblocks separated him and his dream, the only dream he had left.

He was admiring the spectacular dazzle of snow on the gray mountains, highlighted by the sun on its way to setting, when the radio crackled.

“Roman, June needs your help. Fallon’s gone. June’s half-frantic,” Wayne said.

Roman sighed. “Where’d she head this time?”

“Her mom isn’t sure. Went out to do some cross-country skiing.”

“By herself?” Roman checked his watch. Almost one-thirty. The sun would set in a little under an hour.

“She told her mom she was meeting friends, but all of them are home safe and sound where they belong. Skip is out right now on the snowmobile looking for her.”

“Give me her last location and I’ll check it out.”

Wayne filled him in. “Don’t stay out too long. There’s a low pressure building over the Gulf. We’re gonna get some snow.”

With a sense of rising urgency, he banked and turned the plane. It wasn’t a game this far north. If you got lost in the great white expanse you might survive, in the daytime. If you got lost in the dark, when temperatures plunged deep into the minus range, that was a whole other can of worms. Wayne had taught him early on to carry a survival kit. No exceptions. Picturing the stubborn, careless sixteen-year-old Fallon, he knew she hadn’t taken any such precautions.

Fallon was hard to like, harder to trust, and he should be mad about having to go bail her out. Instead he only felt the same lancing pain when he thought of the younger Fallon, barely a teen with a puppy-love crush on Danny, who loved her as if she were his own sister. He blinked away the image of Jackie that rose again in his thoughts, the strange mixture of pleasure and pain that her presence awakened in him. What was she doing at this very moment? Asleep in her cabin? Knowing her, she was probably out helping to look for Fallon.

He peered closer at the darkening ground. The sun was low on the horizon, painting the snow in silver and gray. Fallon would have worn the old green jacket she practically lived in, so he strained his eyes to see any flash of the color.

The temperature continued to drop steadily. A paltry three degrees Fahrenheit began to slide into the negative numbers. Wind vibrated the wings of the plane and rose along with Roman’s anxiety.

Darkness spread. Soon it would be difficult to land safely.

Wayne radioed him again. “Come back in now.”

“A few more minutes.”

“Now, Roman. Plenty of rescuers die trying to be the hero. Don’t be one of them.”

He got a glimpse of the unfinished cabin on the bluff and fought a shudder. “I know. I’ll be careful.”

“That’s not good enough.” Wayne’s voice became commanding.

Roman thought of Danny, foggy images of that dark, frigid night swirling up again, the frightening sounds of the car sliding over the embankment clear in his ears. No one else would die in this wintry abyss if he could help it, especially no one whom Danny had loved. “Sorry, Wayne.” Roman turned the radio down to mute Wayne’s anxious retort. “There’s no way I can turn my back now.”

He fought against the wind that buffeted the plane in the near darkness. At this latitude, night did not come gently. It arrived like a heavy fist-fall in a matter of minutes. Soon there would be no chance of finding her.

“Come on, Fallon. Where are you?”

As if on cue he caught sight of a green flash under the massive trunk of a pine. He immediately scanned the surface for the best place to land. There was no time to go through the tedious safety checks he’d done before. He had to put the plane down quickly. Praying he would not land in an overflow that would plunge him into water or freeze the skis so completely they would stay riveted there until the spring thaw, he took it down.

Engines still running, he jumped out, the snow against his legs taking his breath away. He hurried over to find Fallon, back against the tree, arms folded.

“Are you okay?”

She turned her long, thin face in his direction. “Yeah.”

“Yeah? That’s it? Your dad has been searching for you. What are you doing out here?”

She huffed. “Don’t give me a lecture. I wanted to cross-country, but one of my skis broke, so I quit. I figured someone would come along and here you are.”

He bit back the frustration and found his satellite phone. Skip Delucchi picked up on the first ring.

“Did you find her?”

“Yes, she’s fine.” Roman gave him the location.

“Can you fly her out?”

Roman looked at the sky. “No. I’m grounded for the night.”

Skip let out a long sigh. “Jackie and I are about a mile from there on the snowmobile. We’re having a little trouble with one of the vehicles, but we’ll be there soon.”

Jackie. He caught himself before he said the name aloud. He’d been right about her joining in the search. Roman clicked off the phone and turned to Fallon. “Why don’t you get in the plane and warm up?”

Fallon’s face still wore a sullen cast, but she climbed aboard. Roman joined her and they sat in silence watching the sun disappear behind the horizon.

Fallon’s voice startled him. “Why is she here?”

“Who?” he asked, though he knew exactly whom she referred to.

“You know. I heard Dad talking to her on the phone.”

He felt her staring at him in the gloom. He wanted to deny it, to steer the conversation elsewhere, but he couldn’t lie to the girl. “I’m not sure.”

Fallon folded her arms across her chest. “I didn’t think she’d ever come back. I wouldn’t, if I got out of here.”

He felt the rise of pain again, but didn’t answer.

“So she hates you.”

He nodded. “Pretty much.”

“That’s heavy.”

Almost heavier than he could bear sometimes. He was saved from further questions by Skip’s arrival on the snowmobile, headlights blazing through the gloom. Jackie pulled up a moment after him. Swallowing his emotion, Roman helped Fallon down and Skip enfolded her in a hug. She remained stiff in his arms, but Roman thought he could see tenderness on her face, a sliver of the innocent child she had been. Jackie stood apart.

What was she thinking? He wondered again why she had come back to a place that obviously held such pain for her, for them both.

Skip shook Roman’s hand vigorously and hugged him. “How can I thank you?”

“A hot meal sometime would do it.”

“You are welcome at our table any day. June has all kinds of savories and sweets in the works for Winterfest.” He smiled at Jackie. “Can you put Roman on your machine?”

Roman didn’t wait to see the uncomfortable look on her face. “No need. I’m staying with the plane.”

Skip blinked. “You’ll freeze out here.”

“I’ve got gear. I’ll radio Wayne and let him know.”

Skip shook his head. “I don’t think so. We’re going to get snow tonight. It’s too dangerous.”

Jackie continued to look at him with expressionless eyes. “You can ride with me if you need to.”

The offer was kind but the tone was not. It was just as cold as the breathtakingly icy air around them. “I appreciate your concern, but this bird is my responsibility and I’m not leaving her. I’m prepared. I’ll survive until morning and I’ve got a radio and sat phone if I need to bail out. I’m staying.”

With a sigh, Skip shook his hand once more and helped Fallon onto his snowmobile. Jackie followed Skip without a backward glance. She tried to start her snowmobile but the engine would not turn over. After several minutes of useless trying from all of them, Skip put his hands on his hips. “Well, I’ll have to make two trips.” He shot a glance from Jackie to Roman. “Jackie, can you stay here while I take Fallon back, and then I’ll come for you?”

Jackie looked as though she’d been sentenced to prison. Roman saw her take a breath before she answered. “Of course.”

Skip and Fallon headed off into the dark.

Roman cleared his throat. “Let’s sit in the plane. Warmer there.”

He thought she would refuse, but the steadily dropping temperature must have convinced her because she climbed in the passenger-side door. They sat for a moment in silence before she spoke, her voice oddly flat.

“This place hasn’t changed at all. It looks exactly the same as the first time I saw it. I was just a college kid. Danny was a freshman in high school.”

He nodded. “No, not really. Still plenty of wide open spaces.” But it had changed, profoundly. The woman who used to be the center of his world, the first thing he thought of every morning and the last thing before sleep claimed him at night could barely look at him. Fixed in his mind was the time when Jackie’s father, an engineer on the pipeline, had brought his family to spend nearly the entire year in Alaska. Each season he’d shown Jackie the wonders of this isolated place, and each day had brought them closer together.

He remembered when they had built a series of snow igloos and invited all their friends to camp out under the stars. Was it his imagination or had the stars now lost some of their luster? He felt Jackie’s eyes on him and shifted. “Just thinking about our snow igloos. Remember that?”

For a moment, the spark shone in her eyes again, a smile lit her face that took his breath away. Then it disappeared. “I remember.” Her tone was so low he almost didn’t catch it. “I remember. Danny talked about it all the time.”

“Yeah.” He wanted to take her hands in his, to tell her again how deeply sorry he was. He knew she could never love him again, but he wanted desperately to bring back to life the warm and ebullient woman she had been, the woman who sang Broadway show tunes at every opportunity and cried at the sight of an injured animal. “Jackie, I…” Words failed him.

She looked at him, waiting for him to finish. When he didn’t, she let out a little sigh and steered them back onto safe ground. “I forgot how dark it gets here.”

“Sure does.”

She shivered and he offered her a blanket. She took it and he helped her tuck it in around her shoulders, his fingers tingling where they accidentally brushed against hers. She started to say something, then stopped. They sank into heavy silence.

The distance that grew between them in that moment might have been wider than the sprawling Alaskan wilderness. A twist of pain lanced through him as he recalled bittersweet memories.

Oddly it was a moment in San Francisco that crystallized his future in Alaska. He’d had to content himself with Jackie’s periodic visits, until her father had a stroke that left him unable to travel. Roman had hoarded every last penny and flown to San Francisco to see her that year. On one fog-shrouded night, she’d said the words that made him sure their lives would be intertwined forever. “I feel like Alaska is my real home,” she’d said. That’s when he’d decided to ask her to marry him as soon as her father was well. He’d flown home and begun counting the days until her return.

Thinking about the joy he’d felt numbed him inside

It seemed like an eternity before Skip appeared to retrieve Jackie and they motored across the snow. When the sound of the snowmobile engine died away, Roman radioed Wayne and calmly accepted a vigorous tongue-lashing.

Before he bunked in for the night, Roman ventured once more into the ink-dark night. The sight never failed to take his breath away. A cathedral of achingly brilliant stars shone between the clouds without the interference of city lights. He felt as if he could reach up and touch one of the dazzling gems.

Wish on a star, his mother had told him when he was a boy.

As the cold closed in around him he knew that there was no point in childish wishing. What his heart had once desired might as well be as far away as those perfect stars. Worst of all, he was grateful for the distance.