Читать книгу Three quarters dead - Danny Osipenko - Страница 4

The monster in us

To the people at the station there was a little, the person twelve, apart from children. The room lit with bright light of lamps from which eyes hurt. The high ceiling with light walls creating optical illusion because of which, all it seemed spacious and pale cold. A concrete gray floor, and saturated color the blue benches established in ranks on all station. Pair of ATMs and multicash desks on corners. All this that was, in that place where I sat. People chewed something, drank, spoke, someone having collapsed on an empty bench, slept. Children scurried about to and fro, from boring and long expectation. I was killed into the most distant row at a window, having extended the long legs forward. Nobody, except me sat on this row. To me it was good from today’s recharge that I involuntarily smiled. But nevertheless looked round on the parties, being afraid for itself and the life. Today I will go to the big city, I should save one soul. Strongly heart as if having a presentiment of a trouble clenched.

***

When I sat in the train, to me it became very sad. This grief gnawed from within, eating black holes. I did not want to leave again and to look at the disappearing cities. But it was especially sore, from smiles of passersby of people. At that moment I thought: «And what for me happiness? Whether I am happy? What expects me where was not yet?» I knew the answer – it inspired fear, desire to hide, or in general to disappear. But cargo of the truth which to me was provided did not allow to stop. Forces was enough only for getting it together, and again to run.

In a compartment, together with me, the woman by sight sat years of forty. I knew what needs to be waited a little before everything begins. Its brown, average length the suede coat, fitted quite volume forms tightly. As soon as we started, her hands with bright red nails were run on buttons. The coat swung open and the heavy body fitted by the thin burgundy sweater and black trousers which are made narrower to a bottom was released. I caught this sweet, such familiar smell which I at once noticed at the station, began to smell absorbed fleshes.

This woman heaved a deep sigh all the time whatever she did. Its light short curls jumped up at the movement. Especially without paying to me the attention, chewing Mars chocolate bar, she smacked the lips from pleasure. My stomach foully began to hum, and having ceased to watch the stranger, I having rummaged around in the to a traveling bag, from an inside pocket, got a pack of salty peanut. Such food for breakfast, obviously did not suit me, but the choice was not therefore continued to chew. The woman grinned, having noticed a bag in my hand. I pretended that it does not concern me, and looked in a window. In a compartment it was warm, but I did not want to take off a coat, so it seemed more safely. The neighbor heaved a deep sigh again, leaned against a wall, sitting on the lower bed, as well as I, she closed eyes, and in a few minutes lingeringly snored. Having used it, I touched her hand lying on a knee, and the dense white veil filled my eyes. The woman discontentedly moved, but did not wake up.

The rehouse me as if pictures of a kaleidoscope, rushed all moments of life of this stranger. Her hard, but cheerful childhood, misunderstanding of adults, girlfriends, quarrels, the first guy, kiss, dates and wedding. I saw and understood how I lack all this. Being transferred to pipe dreams, I noticed strange changes not at once. The woman was only twenty six years old: beautiful, harmonious and very proud. It, from smiling, light-haired, with big blue eyes of the little girl, turned into sad, irritable creation. Further the hospital, and several operations followed. Something constantly began to disturb this woman, paints one by one were replaced. And here it one, a divorce, depressions, the conflicts at work. Everything became more dark, and is more dark, tightening me together with it. I sharply felt this darkness. It was necessary to be chosen together with it from there, otherwise we will die. And I looked for this door for what we could keep, but the woman began to rest, shout. She painfully seized to me a hand the long red nails, is so strong that from superficial wounds blood which a drop fell in blackness under us filtered. Something left frightening darkness, hairy and small, it nestled on a leg of this woman and looked at me. His tiny muzzle of scarlet color, with black eyes, the open warped mouth, and full of long awful teeth, in several rows, rapaciously smiled and having bitten through a leg of the poor thing, with loud laughter escaped back. The woman having shouted in horror, uncoupled the hands from mine, and fell backwards. From her leg as if a number of soldiers, after the little monster, began to run out spiders.

The sound stood ringing, such that stuffed up ears. The women’s shout which sounded from below – revived me as, I could not move for the chilling horror which held down my body. Having bent, I had to seize strong hands to the woman who was left almost without leg from which spiders still appeared. Its blue, with whole an eye saucer, expressed the endured mix from pain and fear, now it was ready for everything is to be chosen if only from here. Without hesitating seconds, I that there are forces, pulled the woman on itself that she could rise and lean the elbows on my shoulders. Her mouth as if at fish, opened, was closed while we went it is unknown where. The fact that we were surrounded by outer darkness was strange, but I perfectly saw myself and the woman. We went and went, shoulders, tired, painfully ached under weight of a burden. The blond curly head, silently shook, and the remained whole leg, was dragged for the poor thing in a halfbent state. I knew, it is not the end yet, someone obviously played with the fate of this person. Only who!? It also frightened most of all.

Having become exhausted, I stopped to have a rest. The woman still did not raise the head and did not publish a nizvuk. But me weak heart beat was heard therefore I still dragged it on infinite darkness. This woman be dead, I would not be here. Having recovered the breath and having looked around, I decided that it is time to take some measures. Having taken away a hand with bright manicure from the shoulder, it was necessary to me, this rather big woman, to shake slightly in order that her nprivest in feeling. It slightly opened eyes and raised the head.

– I need your help. – Accurately I said and the blond head shook aside. Without knowing, what does it mean, but hoping for consent, I ran the released hand over her forehead. I needed to understand that or who holds it here, and to try to pull out from dark paws, live and safe. The woman opened eyes which immediately began to shine, and ran here and there. Her wide big face became suddenly yellow, and from a mouth white foam went. Two voices, opposite women’s and low men’s, at the same time said:

– To you not to take away it. It is ours.

«Well, is not present! Not today, children!» – I Told in thoughts and, having swung from all force hit the woman in a breast. The person from yellow turned into violet-gray, but I knew that I do everything correctly so far. Foam disappeared as well as appeared that gave a little hope to me. Heart stopped fighting for several seconds, and later, again began to sound quietly and measuredly. From my palm, on all body of the stranger, gold threads ran up, only now I did not take away, and gave. Each thread was poured by bright light, pulsing under my pressure. That heat that I took away in the morning from the young man, had to be enclosed in a body of the woman who soared predo me. Strength of the man will last for her only for few years therefore as soon as it came off my hand, I having immediately picked open wounds on a wrist, pressed a finger to them to take a little blood. Then put three bloody end to that place where there was just my palm, and connected them starting with the last. Blood immediately disappeared, confirming closing. Now remained behind small, saved by me, has to find a way from darkness forever to leave it. But I saw it earlier, and, having thrown back a hand with bright manicure, dragged slowly wakening woman to a thin strip of light. There were cases worse as then, I did not know what I am capable of and how to help poor souls.

The veil from my eyes fell and I returned to a compartment again. Having taken away the scratched hand from the sleeping woman, I sat down on the place where the peanut pack still alone lay. Gathered a handful iskory began to chew. Now hunger became intolerable, I was absolutely empty. And this emptiness pressed on me. Having tightened closer a bag and having got, all from the same inside pocket, a small round pocket mirror, I attentively considered myself. After each exhausting fight for soul, my body and the person suffers minor changes, today there were couple of scratches and a little reddened eyes. But even it did not spoil my person with the gentle flush, black bottomless eyes framed with long dense eyelashes with slightly raised tip of a nose and bright chubby lips. There passed five years, now I am the matured twenty-three-year-old girl. In seventeen, I only began to learn myself real. In eighteen to apply everything that learned in practice. And further – to live with this baggage and to drive about across all Russia. Sooner or later, this travel will end and I, at last, will understand who I am such. For now I am a wanderer.

The woman, opposite to me began to move, opened, then rubbed eyes, and having finally woken up, with astonishment looked at me. I soothingly smiled, she to me in reply; and we continued to go, indifferently.

After what happened to Romka, in family of my trustees I immediately and dialed seconds number of the grandmother. Mom always said to me that at any time when I in despair or in serious difficulty to address either her, or the grandmother Gruna.

Agrafena Anufriyevna Shevchenko was to me not a grandmother, and even the great-grandmother on the mamkiny line. This old woman lived the ninth decade, but there was all same mobile and in a senile way quarrelsome. Many residents of the village in which she lives were rather afraid of my grandma to this day. Every time as soon as we all family came to visit it: avoided us, silently bypassed, and did not look in the face. Grun’s women grinned, having heard about it.

– Vsyak are afraid, prick life the road. – She answered, and began to strive on economy. Everything that was from the cattle, she sold as soon as one remained. My great-grandfather, died in the war «young and beautiful», the grandmother said. She always sold everything as soon as she lost something or someone very important. The daughter her, my grandmother Zina, having married the son of one rich Moscow nobility, returned with the child on hands, two years later. Without having explained anything, left the one-year-old daughter, and left back. More grandmother Zina did not appear. Only sometimes wrote, but it was very rare also only three lines. About the death of the daughter, the grandmother Grunya learned, also from the letter, only from the neighbor, and the best friend Zinaida, Vera. Which told how the husband threw Zina, having learned that it changed and gave birth to the child from another. Left her the apartment after the divorce, «and disappeared as if there was no it at all». The useless daughter did not want to come back home, and to see the child too as she did not love him. Therefore on conscience, wrote mother, and money sent how many could. She died in thirty years, of lung cancer. Having buried the daughter, the grandmother Grunya decided that she Rita (my mother), will keep a tight rein, and will track that did not do mamkiny mistakes. But now also she died. I understood how it is difficult for woman Gruna to see how children die and to live further, now for the sake of me, the only great-granddaughter. All this, in appearance usual human life. Here only neither the great-grandmother, nor the grandmother, and especially my mom – were ordinary people. Each of them, also endured the first forces, and learned much at the mother. My awakening came late enough, the grandmother so told. She felt forces of years in six when began to move objects, without realizing. It only was transferred to daughters. All history goes to the Ukrainian lands where and today remembered a lot of things. The grandmother Zina too at early age, and here my mom in ten years.

Because of so late awakening, the woman Grunya very much worried as without consumption of human energy, earlier they could manage only after thirty years when it is already possible to make the choice. My grandmother and mom refused forces, only the grandmother Grunya still owned a small amount and that on emergency. It on all death, had one theory: that having like, refused at most, mom and the grandmother Zina became so vulnerable that could not protect the soul and died.

***

In two days as I called the grandmother, she arrived to the house of trustees. The conversation lasted nearly an hour, left in the room, and mudflows in the living room. In the same evening I was taken away by the electric train to the grandmother to the village.

When we entered the house, her dry wrinkled hand squeezed mine, and looked at light-brown eyes with heat and understanding. The first time for that time that lived with relatives, I felt in safety. From the next day for a year, I was taught: to define borders permitted in absorption of live energy; to create protection for the soul and a body; to give the received energy and to seal it; to treat itself and other people; to apply «Eighty Seals of Honour» for all occasions; to operate telepathic abilities and to create by means of them protective fields; and at last, to see the last, possible future and to operate dreams. To the practician I acquired well, and here the theory hardly. It was written in too difficult language and with the knowledge. The grandmother very much was upset if I did not acquire something, and long dinned a word behind a word.

Theoretical knowledge is very important for me, especially now. Having run a hand over a bag, in that place where stuck out edges of the book, I mentally in memory counted the seals, and to me it became quieter.

Having descended from the train on the platform where people scurried about waiting. The high guy, with a dense dark head of hear and a beautiful nape after which I left met the person five. By sight still students, they waved to him, making the way through other meeting people. From them – three young people and two girls: the fat brown-haired woman in a red light jacket and the high blonde with expressive eyes, colors of the summer sky. Its floors of a thin blue coat, wind in different directions, as well as light locks of a flowing hair carried away. Both girls were sincerely glad, to meet the young man whom I did not manage to make out plainly as I stood on the distance which was rather remote from him. Three young people too joyfully began to smile, and having approached, began to clap friendly the guy on a back. At first very quickly and strong, the lowest of three, shortly short-haired, brown-eyed and swarty greeted. Then the fact that stood the arrived guy on the right. Its embraces seemed to me too affected and dry, because of instantly disappeared smile as soon as guys embraced. And having returned on the place, again pulled corners of lips which were not reflected in his cold green-brown eyes in any way. Maybe I too stared at it why that turned the head in my party and is attentive, without blinking, examined me from head to foot. Wind disheveled its laid hairstyle of a fair hair, rose and ran near me. Having strained all the body, from the smell heard by me, I faced with warped from disgust. This smell I never, and with anything another will mix. Aroma of the absorbed flesh so strong that me nearly turned inside out in the middle of the station. It how to eat too much something to nausea, and then, having heard to screw up the face at the first notes. So it beat out me why not at once thought that now with probability in 61%, I got under attention not of the person and sated and who is completely owning soul of the fellow, demon any more. And the fact that I at present, was in several meters from it, so also completely devastated and defenseless, did not foretell anything good.