Читать книгу Grounds For Marriage - Daphne Clair - Страница 7

CHAPTER TWO

‘OF COURSE I’ll meet Emma’s father,’ Julian said. ‘She’s a lucky little girl that he’s so concerned about her welfare.’

They were sitting in his car on Lacey’s driveway at the conclusion of a rare evening date, Emma having been invited to stay overnight at a friend’s house. It had been a treat for Lacey to see a show and share a leisurely supper without having to worry about getting home to let a baby-sitter off the hook. Most of her outings were daytime ones, when Emma was at school or out with Tully, and when she ate out it was generally lunch with a friend.

Julian had chosen a North Shore restaurant, driving over the Harbour Bridge at dusk while the light of the dying sun still sheened the waters of the Waitemata. After leaving the restaurant he had switched on the car heater against the wintry coolness of the night, making Lacey feel warm and pampered, replete with adult conversation and delicious food. And he had responded in his customary amiable, reasonable manner to her relaying of Tully’s request.

‘You’re such a nice man!’ she told him gratefully.

He chuckled, drawing her closer and rubbing his cheek gently against her temple. ‘Thank you. I’m very glad you think so. I hope your daughter will come to the same conclusion. I want to get to know her properly.’ His mouth touched her cheek, and wandered, seeking her lips.

Lacey returned his kiss, and let him push open her jacket and stroke her body, liking the pleasurable, tingling feelings he aroused.

After a few minutes Julian drew back, breathing heavily. ‘I’m too old for necking in a car,’ he said humorously. ‘Are you going to invite me in, Lacey?’

He must have noticed her hesitation, and she felt him begin to move away.

‘Yes,’ she said, ‘if you like. But—’

‘I’m not trying to rush you into bed,’ he assured her. ‘I absolutely respect your views. When you have a daughter it’s important to live by the values you try to impart to her.’

‘I’ll make coffee,’ she offered, groping for the door handle.

When he left half an hour later, she washed up the coffee cups and told herself that her feeling of flatness and dissatisfaction was caused by physical frustration.

She’d been repressing her sexuality for years, quite deliberately and not without difficulty. If occasionally a stirring of desire had made itself felt she had ruthlessly quelled it. She had a child who was her first priority, and a close relationship with a man would only cause unnecessary complications in her life. She’d concentrated on keeping herself too busy to be bothered. Apart from looking after Emma, she had taken courses in computer keyboarding and office procedures so that she could work from home, and then embarked on a part-time degree course in business administration which she’d now nearly completed.

Tully had been intrigued by her choice and her determination, and she’d been grateful for his help, freely offered from his own experience of both university study and running his own business. The one thing she wouldn’t do was work for his firm, feeling that it smacked too much of either charity or a form of nepotism.

Tully was the only man she had room for in her life, and that was strictly on a platonic basis. Anything else would be courting disaster and heartbreak. For Emma’s sake as well as her own, she wouldn’t risk that.

She had occasionally been the recipient of advances from other men. Some rather obviously felt they were doing her a favour, and had been astonished when she rebuffed them. But on first meeting Julian she was totally unaware of any sexual overtones. She’d found him easy to talk to, friendly and sincere, and they’d had something in common, both being solo parents.

Despite his successful legal practice his manner was rather diffident, and she’d been surprised when she learned his age, because his smooth, pleasant face and the fine, straight brown hair combed back from a high forehead, combined with the slightness of his tall frame, gave him a youthful air.

She’d known him casually for almost a year before he asked her out, and he had courted her with gentleness and sensitivity, always ready to back off if she was hesitant about going too fast.

Like tonight, she thought as she pulled a shapeless brushed-cotton nightgown over her head. He hadn’t even touched her after they’d got inside, unless she counted the quick hug and kiss he’d given her before he left. He’d sat at the table with a finger threaded through the handle of his cup as he drank his coffee, and talked companionably about the show they’d seen, about the latest headline news, and for quite a long time about his daughter who, to his considerable concern, had acquired a boyfriend whom Julian suspected of having a delinquent past.

She had found herself picturing Tully sitting across from her instead, remembering the way he always curled his entire hand about his cup and firmly held it. And then for some reason she’d remembered the sure, compelling pressure of his lips on hers, not at all like Julian’s tender, carefully inquiring kisses.

She’d felt a sudden irritation as Julian went on worrying aloud about Desma. Brushing it aside, she chided herself for selfishness and tried to concentrate and make helpful comments. She knew how anxiety about a much-loved child could oust everything else from a parent’s mind.

Just before he left she’d suppressed an impulse to suggest they move to the sofa in the living room. Her need to be held, to feel close to someone for a while, for the comfort of a masculine shoulder to lean on temporarily, might be interpreted as an invitation to go further than she intended. And it would hardly be fair to Julian to raise expectations she didn’t mean to fulfil.

Climbing into bed, Lacey sighed. She would fulfil those expectations eventually, of course. She’d promised to marry Julian—when their respective daughters had accepted the idea. Sex with Julian would be... nice. She was sure of it.

Lacey had suggested that Julian come round for an evening meal the next time Tully had Emma for the day. That way, she thought, Emma would see that Tully didn’t object to her mother having a male friend, and the men would have a chance to get to know each other after Emma had gone to bed.

Julian arrived quite early. When Tully and Emma came in he was sitting at the kitchen table. Dressed in grey slacks and a soft yellow pullover over a spotless paler yellow shirt, he’d been drinking white wine while Lacey stirred a sauce on the stove.

Pushing her hair back from a face warmed by the heat of the stove, Lacey removed the sauce from the glowing ring and introduced the two men. ‘Julian, this is Tully Cleaver.’

Julian got to his feet and extended his hand. ‘I’m very pleased to meet Emma’s father,’ he said.

Tully., ripping open the zip of his jacket, subjected the other man to a piercing appraisal, then nodded and briefly shook hands. His dark hair had tiny rain-beads on it and he carried the clean, fresh scent of the outdoors with him.

The cat, a large, fluffy black animal with a white ruff, bib and paws, had followed Emma inside. She scooped it up into her arms, and Tully reached over and absently scratched behind the velvety black ears, his eyes hardly moving from Julian, who had resumed his seat at the table. The cat set up a loud, rattling purr.

‘You can feed Ruffles now, Emma, before you take off your jacket,’ Lacey suggested. ‘Tully, can I get you a drink?’

‘I’ll do it,’ he said easily, casting a glance at Julian’s half-empty glass. ‘Can I pour some more for you?’ he asked. ‘What have you got?’

‘Dry white, thank you.’

‘It’s in the fridge,’ Lacey told him. ‘I’ll have one, too.’ She opened the oven for a quick check on the roast.

Tully hung his coat over a chair and took a wineglass from the cupboard. He filled it from the chilled bottle in the refrigerator and handed it to Lacey, then topped up Julian’s glass and poured himself a whisky from the supply that Lacey kept for him.

‘Why don’t we go into the other room?’ Lacey said. The kitchen seemed overcrowded now, although Emma had taken the cat food and a spoon and gone outside to feed Ruffles.

In the living room she had lit a fire. Julian went to one of the chairs set at right angles to the fireplace, and Fully stood near the other as Lacey sank down on the sofa. But when Julian had taken his seat, to Lacey’s surprise Tully moved and came to share the sofa with her, lounging in the corner with his arm lying along the back.

She looked down into her wineglass, and heard Tully say to Julian, ‘Lacey tells me you’re a solicitor. That means you don’t do court work, doesn’t it?’

‘It’s not my field, no.’ Julian’s light, precise voice was pleasant and even. ‘I do quite a lot of conveyancing. Property transfers, you know.’

‘Yes,’ Tully said. ‘I do know.’

‘Lace hasn’t told me what you do.’

Hearing the faint questioning note in his voice, Lacey looked up and saw the way Julian’s eyes passed rapidly over Tully’s casual shirt and well-used jeans.

Tully took a swig from his glass. ‘I make marine safety equipment,’ he said. ‘At least, the firm does.’

‘What firm is that?’

‘Cleaver’s,’ Tully said shortly.

‘A family business?’

After a moment Tully said, ‘That’s right.’ It had been a family business, founded by Tully’s grandfather, but Lacey knew that Tully now owned the New Zealand branch, having bought out his father who lived and operated his factories in Australia.

‘I think I read something about it recently,’ Julian mused. ‘You’re branching out from life-jackets and emergency craft into manufacturing some new type of rubber-and-wool boom to contain oil spills?’

‘And mop them up. Yes.’

‘It sounds very worthwhile, a real contribution towards preserving the environment.’

Tully swirled the whisky in his glass. ‘It’s also going to make the firm a good bit of money, I hope.’

Julian smiled uncertainly. ‘I’m sure there’s nothing wrong in that.’ He took a quick sip from his wineglass.

Lacey tried to think of something with which to fill the ensuing silence. ‘Have you and Emma been riding again?’ she asked Tully.

He smiled, turning his head to look into her eyes. ‘Try to keep her away. It’s true what she said. She does seem to be a natural on a horse.’

‘You’re an experienced rider?’ Julian looked interested.

Tully almost reluctantly dragged his eyes from Lacey. ‘I’m learning along with Emma,’ he said. ‘I was quoting the instructor.’

Julian’s brows rose in surprise. ‘That’s very commendable. Sharing Emma’s interests—I take off my hat to you, Tully.’

‘Thanks,’ Tully drawled, eyeing Julian with a look of judicious speculation. ‘Actually, I’m enjoying it.’

Emma came into the room, and Tully smiled at her, immediately shifting over to make room on the end of the sofa. His hip pressed against Lacey’s, his arm sliding further along behind her. If she leaned back a little she knew he would lay it casually about her shoulders. She didn’t lean back.

Julian smiled at Emma. ‘Your father’s been telling us about your riding lessons, Emma. Have you fallen off, yet?’

‘I don’t fall off,’ she told him loftily. ‘If you use your hands and your knees the right way you won’t fall.’

Lacey wrenched her attention away from Tully. ‘I don’t know, I have a feeling I might fall off all the same.’

‘No, you wouldn’t,’ Emma said with great confidence. ‘I’d stop you—or Daddy. Wouldn’t we?’ she appealed to her father.

He grinned down at her. ‘We’d certainly do our best. But don’t forget, you and I are just learners, and they do say pride goes before a fall.’ Turning back to Lacey, he said, ‘Maybe you should join us next time. We could all give it a go.’

He was very close. She could smell the warm scent of his body, still carrying a faint tang of the outdoors. Her eyes were drawn to the outline of his mouth, the faintly shadowed male perfection of his skin. At this distance—or lack of it—his blatant masculinity was overwhelming.

‘Maybe,’ she said, deliberately shifting her gaze beyond him to Julian. ‘Should we, Julian? Do you think you’d enjoy riding?’

‘I think my riding days are over,’ he said. ‘I gave it up a long time ago.’

‘You used to ride? I didn’t know that.’

‘When I was a boy,’ he said, adding rather modestly, ‘I collected a few ribbons at shows.’

Oh, joy! She felt Tully sit up straighter beside her as his eyes swivelled to Julian. Emma had turned too, staring at Julian with new respect.

‘What sort of ribbons?’ Emma asked him.

‘Dressage and show-jumping.’

‘What’s dressage?’ Emma asked.

As Julian began to explain, Lacey went to check the dinner. She needed to remove herself from Tully. He ought to carry a health label—Warning: Proximity May Endanger Your Heart. Though surely hers was safe. She’d given it to Julian. And she’d had plenty of practice at ignoring her natural female response to Tully’s blatant masculinity.

She set a bowl of pansies in the centre of the dining table. They seldom used this room for its avowed purpose—usually it served as an office for Lacey’s typing and desk-top publishing business. Her word-processor, printer and photocopier occupied a long bench spanning one wall, while filing cabinets sat underneath, and the extendible dining table was useful for collating pages or making up layouts.

‘Mum, shall I set the table?’ Emma stood in the doorway.

Surprised, Lacey turned. ‘If you’d like to. I thought you’d be talking to Julian about horses.’

Emma’s face screwed up briefly. ‘Mm. Daddy said to come and ask if you needed any help.’

‘Did he?’ Lacey said grimly.

‘What’s the matter?’

‘Nothing.’ She smiled at Emma, banishing the suspicion that Tully had thought Julian was getting on too well with the child. Tully wasn’t a mean-minded man. More likely he wanted to talk to Julian himself.

But she had to fight an impulse to rush back into the living room and monitor what the men were saying. ‘Okay,’ she told Emma. ‘You set the table nicely while I turn over the potatoes.’

The meal went without any hitch, and the two men seemed cordial, if a bit formal with each other. Emma helped by chattering as usual, mostly to Tully. But when Julian put in a smiling question or remark here and there she answered politely enough.

‘Bedtime,’ Lacey told her after the dishes were cleared away and she’d been allowed to sit with them while they had coffee in the other room. ‘Go and have your bath and put on your pyjamas, then you can come and say good night.’

When she did so, looking innocent and soapy-clean, she inveigled Tully into tucking her in, and he went off with a good grace, holding her hand.

‘She has him wound around her little finger, doesn’t she?’ Julian remarked. He was sitting on an easy chair, and after dinner Lacey had chosen the one opposite, leaving the sofa for Tully and Emma.

‘She adores him.’ The fire was growing sluggish, and Lacey got up to put some wood on from the basket at the side of the hearth. Julian came over, removing the mesh fire screen, and replacing it for her as she straightened.

‘It’s going to be difficult,’ he said, ‘to compete.’

‘You don’t have to compete.’ Lacey looked at him, her eyes troubled. ‘It’s a different relationship. I want her to be clear about that.’

‘Mm. And do you think that when—if—I have to correct her, Emma will accept it from me? She’s never had a real father, has she?’ As Lacey opened her mouth to demur, he added, ‘Tully’s a weekend father, a fun-father, obviously. You told me he spoils her.’

She had said something of the sort once, when they were exchanging mutual confidences about their children and their problems. ‘He does like to give her things, but she’s not a spoiled child, is she?’

‘She’s a charmer,’ Julian said dryly. ‘And accustomed to being the centre of attention. I just wonder how she reacts when she isn’t, or if she doesn’t get her own way.’

Lacey felt a stirring of resentment, and reminded herself not to be oversensitive. ‘Well, of course she sulks sometimes, or slams a few doors. She’s only ten! But I don’t give in to her, and I won’t expect you to, either.’

He smiled. ‘Well, that’s all right then. As long as we back each other up there won’t be too many problems.’

She made to return to her chair, but he caught her hands in his. ‘It isn’t a heavy criticism,’ he said, giving her a wry, quizzical look. ‘No child is perfect—heaven knows, Desma isn’t! I expect you’ll find I have my blind spots, too. You’re not annoyed with me, are you?’

‘No, of course not.’ She smiled at him. It was a trifling point and he’d probably been right. She just wasn’t used to anyone pointing out her daughter’s small faults. Tully had certainly never done so, and he had every right, if anyone did...

Julian smiled back at her, obviously relieved. ‘Good.’ He leaned over and kissed her, his mouth moving persuasively on hers, coaxing a response.

‘Sorry.’ Thlly’s curt apology made Lacey start away from Julian in confusion, pulling her hands from his grasp.

Tully stood in the doorway with a thumb hooked into his belt, his expression sardonic. As he strolled into the room, Lacey took a step backwards and Julian ran a hand over his hair, turning away to look at the fire.

‘Is Emma settled?’ Lacey asked, resuming her chair and sitting very straight. She felt flustered, as though caught in a guilty act, and that was ridiculous.

‘She’s fine.’ Tully dropped onto the sofa. Watching Julian sit down again, he asked, ‘Where’s your daughter tonight?’

‘Seeing a film with some friends. I have to pick her up later.’

Tully nodded. ‘She’ll be off your hands soon, I suppose. How do you feel about being saddled with a pre-teen at this stage of your life?’

Julian seemed slightly startled, then made an effort at a smile. ‘It doesn’t bother me. I’ve had some practice. And I hope Desma will stick around for a few more years. Young people are staying home longer these days.’ Relaxing a trifle, he added, ‘I like children. My wife and I had hoped to have a couple more. Maybe...’ He glanced across at Lacey, his eyes warm.

Tully shifted on the sofa, planting his feet more firmly apart on the carpet. ‘You want another family,’ he asked, ‘at your age?’

Julian looked nettled, then amused. ‘I’m not in my dotage.’

‘Of course not,’ Tully said after a telling moment. ‘Prime of life, I’m sure.’ His eyes were unfocused, but they sharpened as he turned to look at Lacey. ‘Has your biological clock started ticking more loudly already?’ he asked her. ‘Do you want more kids?’

Swallowing anger, she said, ‘That’s something for Julian and me to discuss. I don’t think it has anything to do with you.’

‘If you’re planning to produce a pack of half brothers and sisters for Emma, I think it does have something to do with me,’ he said. ‘It’ll directly affect her. Isn’t that the whole idea of this cosy after-dinner chat? If you want me to endorse this marriage of yours, I want to know just what sort of family life you’re going to give my daughter.’

‘We don’t need your endorsement!’ Lacey said. ‘I just hoped it would make things easier all round.’

Julian cut in smoothly. ‘There are still things that Lacey and I need to talk through. We’re not in any great hurry.’

“You’re not?’ Tully looked at him with polite surprise. Then, his eyes narrowing, he turned his gaze to Lacey. ‘I guess you have plenty of time.’

Julian cleared his throat. ‘Tully,’ he said, leaning forward to face the other man, ‘I would like you to know that I admire and respect your willingness to take responsibility for... er... your youthful mistake. There aren’t many men of your age who would have done what you have. Of course, by law you’re obliged to financially support the child, but plenty of young fellows manage to wriggle out of that, and you’ve certainly gone much further than the letter of the law. All credit to you.’

Tully looked back at him woodenly. ‘I appreciate the testimonial,’ he said. ‘Just where do you think all this flattery is going to get you?’

‘Tully!’ Lacey protested, but Julian held up a staying hand to her, giving a little laugh. ‘It’s all right, Lacey. Tully and I understand each other.’

Tully’s dark brows lifted.

“The thing is,’ Julian went on, ‘the fact that Lacey chose to involve you at all in this is a matter of courtesy only. She actually isn’t obliged to consult your wishes.’ As Tully sat rigid and silent, he added, ‘I’m sure you appreciate that.’

Lacey held her breath. Don’t challenge Tully head-on, she wanted to warn Julian. He’ll take on anybody and anything...and win.

For perhaps two seconds there was no movement, no sound in the room. Then Tully stood up, quite slowly, and rocked on his heels, both hands on his belt. ‘Thanks for the free legal opinion,’ he said, his voice quite pleasant. ‘It’s good to have the position clarified.’

Julian sat back, looking up at him rather cautiously. ‘It’s best we all know where we stand, don’t you think?’

‘Oh, undoubtedly.’ Tully’s reply was too quick, and far too cordial. Lacey saw the deep glint in his eyes and stiffened in her chair, but all he said was, ‘I think I can do with another whisky, if you don’t mind, Lacey. No, don’t get up, I’ll fetch it.’ He turned to Julian. ‘Care to join me? Or can I get you some more white wine?’

After the briefest hesitation Julian said, ‘Thanks, I’ll join you with a whisky.’

‘Lacey?’

Lacey shook her head. ‘Not for me.’ This evening was definitely not going according to plan—the underlying friction was almost palpable. She could have done with a stiff drink, but a long time ago she’d had the value of a clear head in risky circumstances firmly implanted in her mind.

When Tully returned it was as though he’d decided to be as pleasant as possible for the remainder of the evening. He brought the whisky bottle with him, but after one glass Julian declined any more. ‘I have to drive home and pick up Desma on the way,’ he reminded them. ‘I can’t risk being over the limit.’

Tully poured himself another and nursed it while he questioned Julian about property values and the market forces, asked his opinion on a bill currently being debated in parliament designed to help lower-income home owners pay their mortgages, and listened with apparent attention to Julian’s exposition of the relative merits of fixed rate and variable loans.

He seemed content to let Julian take over the conversation, merely injecting an occasional remark or query—some of them, Lacey felt, oddly naive. By the time Julian moved on to explaining the impact of inflation on the building business, Lacey had to clench her jaws to hide an urge to yawn. She glanced at the electric clock on the wall, and saw Julian look at his watch.

With an exclamation of surprise, he stood up. ‘I have to go, I’m afraid. Can’t leave a teenager hanging about waiting at this hour. It’s been nice meeting you, Tully.’ He held out his hand and after a moment Tully rose and took it in his. ‘I hope you feel confident now that Emma will be in good hands. And I’m sure Lacey’s told you I have no objection at all to your continuing to see her as often as you like.’

Lacey waited for Tully to say he was leaving, too. When he didn’t she saw Julian to the door, and exchanged a hurried, unsatisfactory kiss with him before he drove off. Tully, she saw, had parked his Peugeot on the road.

When she returned to the living room Tully was sitting hunched forward with his head bent, his forearms resting on his knees. The glass in his hand was still half full of whisky.

She paused in the doorway, and without turning round he said, ‘Don’t just stand there. Come and sit down.’

She walked past the sofa, but as she made for one of the chairs again he reached out and fastened a hand on her wrist. ‘Not there.’ He pulled her down beside him. ‘I can’t talk to you when you’re halfway across the room.’

‘It’s only a few feet.’ She tugged her hand from his grasp, but stayed on the sofa.

Tully gave her a crooked little smile. ‘Don’t argue, woman. It’s friendlier this way.’ He leaned back into the corner of the sofa, his eyelids drooping as he regarded her. Now that he had her where he wanted her, he didn’t seem in a hurry to initiate conversation, so she decided to get in first.

‘Why did you send Emma into the kitchen, earlier?’ she asked him.

‘To help you.’

‘Not to get her away from Julian?’ she challenged him.

His eyelids flickered. ‘How did you guess?’

‘You admit it?’ She was dismayed to have her suspicion so readily confirmed. If he was going to be deliberately unhelpful...

‘She was showing signs of terminal boredom. I didn’t think you’d want her yawning in his face.’

“They were talking about horses! Which, thanks to you, she’s crazy about at the moment.’

‘Julian was talking, blinding the poor kid with science. She was way out of her depth.’ He made a small grimace and shrugged. ‘I guess he’s not used to dealing with a ten-year-old any more.’

Lacey supposed that was so. He had certainly had difficulty hitting the right note with Emma over the dinner table. ‘They need to get to know each other properly,’ she said hopefully. ‘Maybe Julian was trying a bit too hard tonight. He’s very anxious for her to like him.’

Tully shifted his shoulders against the sofa back and stretched out his legs, contemplating the toes of his shoes for a second or two before shooting a hard, dark glance her way. ‘Are you really in love with that guy?’

The faintly disbelieving note of near-contempt in his voice made her defensive. ‘Of course I love Julian. He’s a very nice person.’ She moved uneasily, trying to relax. Somehow it wasn’t his niceness that had shown up tonight. And in an obscure way she knew Tully was entirely responsible for that. ‘I don’t know what you were trying to do, but it won’t work, Tully.’

‘Trying to do?’ he asked innocently. ‘I thought I was being the almost perfect...guest.’

She noticed the hesitation. Technically he might be a guest, but his place in her daughter’s life made him more than that. Tonight he’d acted rather like a host trying his best to put a not-very-welcome guest at ease, and perhaps it was unfair of her to suspect any deliberation on his part. But she couldn’t help feeling that he had set out to demonstrate his familiarity with the house and its occupants, to make Julian feel like an outsider. He’d even acted with a subtle possessiveness towards Lacey herself.

As if he’d been following her thoughts, Tully asked, ‘Is where you’re going to live one of the things you and Julian haven’t discussed yet?’

‘We’re thinking about it. Julian’s house has three bedrooms, so the girls wouldn’t have to share a room. Or we could buy a new place.’

‘So what will you do with this?’

‘That’s up to you.’

‘It’s half yours.’

Lacey shook her head. ‘That was only a legal safeguard for Emma’s sake, in case something happened to you. You paid for it.’

He didn’t look pleased, but he apparently decided not to pursue the subject. Instead he stared broodingly at the dying fire, sipping at the whisky in his glass.

Lacey said quietly, ‘Things change. Emma will get used to new surroundings, new circumstances. So will you.’

He turned to look at her, his eyes sombre. ‘It won’t be the same... will it?’

‘No, it won’t be the same.’ She felt a twinge of sadness, a painful tug of regret, and deliberately hardened her heart. ‘But it needn’t affect your relationship with Emma.’

His mouth twisted in a strange sort of smile. ‘As a matter of fact, I wasn’t thinking of Emma. I was thinking of my relationship with you.’

‘With... me?’

‘We do have one, you know.’

‘Of course,’ she agreed. ‘As Emma’s parents...’

‘Is that the only way you see me? As Emma’s father?’

Lacey frowned uncertainly. What did he want her to say? Not for anything would she betray to him how difficult it had been to make herself think of him in that role alone, how long it had taken her to forsake foolish teenage dreams. If he wanted his ego stroked, there were plenty of other women who would do it for him—along with anything else he asked of them. ‘How else should I see you?’ she asked reasonably. ‘If it wasn’t for Emma we wouldn’t have a relationship at all.’

He looked at her with speculation, as if considering the question. ‘How can you be sure?’ With spurious humility, he added, ‘Hard to believe though it may be, most of the women I know don’t actually view me first and foremost as a father.’

She didn’t find it hard to believe at all. He had lost none of the male charisma he’d had at nineteen. If anything it had intensified with maturity, and in her case familiarity had not bred contempt, but rather a guarded awareness. Caught once in the trap of his careless sexuality, she had made up her mind a long time ago that she wasn’t going to walk into it again. ‘I’m sure they don’t,’ she said crisply. ‘Fortunately, I know you better than most women do.’

His head cocked to one side, he said, ‘I suppose you do.’ He paused. ‘Why “fortunately”?’

She’d hoped he wouldn’t pick up on that. ‘For one thing,’ she said hastily, ‘you don’t have to worry that I’ll try to drag you to the altar.’

His eyes were enigmatic, but very intent. ‘Until recently I thought you had a distinct aversion to the state of matrimony yourself.’

‘I never said that.’

‘Mm. I gather that the aversion was to me.’

‘Not to you personally. To the idea of marriage with you.’

‘There’s a difference?’

‘Of course there’s a difference. Marrying just to give Emma two parents would have been disastrous.’

‘I agree it probably would have been when we were both teenagers. Although...’ He shrugged. ‘Who knows? It might have worked out okay.’

Lacey shook her head. ‘We were too young.’

‘Too young to be parents? I guess so—objectively. But Emma’s okay.’

‘Yes. At least we got that right.’

‘You did. I’m well aware that I’m only a part-time father. And now...’ she was surprised at the fierce regret she saw in his face ‘...some one else may get the chance that I never had.’

‘I’m sorry,’ she said awkwardly. ‘I didn’t know you felt so strongly about it.’

‘Didn’t you?’ His glance was almost hostile, before he got up and went to stand looking at the remains of the fire, his hand resting on the mantel above it. ‘No,’ he said. ‘How could you? I hardly knew myself.’ He turned to look at her searchingly. ‘You’re entitled to look for a bit of happiness. Heaven knows I’ve no right stop you. But are you sure it’s Julian you want?’

‘I’m old enough now to know exactly what I want,’ she said unequivocally, pushing away a small, nagging doubt. Of course she and Julian had a tacit understanding that much depended on their children’s reactions, but neither of them had expected any major problems to arise.

Why, just when Tully seemed to be capitulating completely to the idea, did she suddenly feel afraid, unsure of herself and of the future to which she’d virtually committed both herself and Emma? Saying it aloud in an unconscious effort to dispel the fear, she declared, ‘Julian and I love each other. I’ve told him I’ll marry him, and that’s what I intend to do.’

He looked at her silently, apparently weighing her answer.

Moving restlessly under his probing gaze, Lacey said, ‘So can I count on you letting Emma know that it’s all right with you?’

‘Don’t rush me,’ he said softly, and although his eyes remained on her face she had the impression that his mind had gone off on a tangent. ‘I’m thinking about it.’

‘How long do you need to think?’

He came away from the mantel. ‘I’ll let you know. Julian said there’s no hurry...’

That last almost sounded like a question, but she didn’t comment.

Stopping in front of her, he put a hand lightly under her chin, stooping towards her.

Remembering the last time he’d kissed her goodbye, Lacey instinctively turned her face aside.

His fingers tightened, forcing her to look at him. He was close; she could see the fine lines at the corners of his eyes, and as she watched his pupils dilated, filled with dark fire. She saw her own uplifted face reflected in them, felt an answering lick of fire deep inside her, an unwilled hunger.

Then Tully released her and stepped back. His chest moved with a quick breath. Somehow he looked nearly as disconcerted as Lacey felt.

She stood up. ‘I’ll see you out.’

‘Don’t bother.’

He gave her another probing, appraising look and left her staring rather blankly after him as he strode out of the room. A minute later she heard the outer door close.