Читать книгу Becoming Masters of Light - Darrin William Owens - Страница 8

Since the publication in 2006 of my book, Reader of Hearts: The Life and Teachings of a Reluctant Psychic, my life began to take on many forms. I became a published author, a renowned lecturer and spiritual teacher, as well as a celebrity, to some degree. I accepted the majority of the roles I needed to step into, but fame did not sit well with me at all. How could a spiritual teacher be a celebrity? At book signings, I met people from all over the country who had read my book and were literally changed by what they had read in its pages. Helping people was my intent. What was not my intention was the “guru” façade that I felt was manifesting itself at every public appearance I made.

People wanted their pictures taken with me, my autograph, and just to be near me. My concern was that they were seeing me as the source of the message and not just the messenger. I was not the Divine; I was merely delivering the Divine’s message. I had a taste of what a true mystic like Edgar Cayce must have experienced in his time—to be not only a deliverer of blessings but also to be looked upon as the blessing itself. I had worked with many “famous” psychics and spiritual teachers during this period and was hoping to find someone with the same challenge I was experiencing. Instead, I found a “Spiritual Hollywood” type of atmosphere. Colleagues who had been my friends prior to my writing the Reader of Hearts book were no longer my friends once I became a published author. I was now their competition. To say that I experienced a shock to my system was an understatement. I had the perception that all of us “spiritual celebs” were on the same team and had the same mission: to inspire, to educate, and to heal the planet.

With this new world of “spiritual celebrity showdowns” at my doorstep, I felt pretty much alone in my professional world. I did have the blessing of a few friends in the business, but all in all, it was not a business I felt very inspired by.

Messiah complexes were running rampant. When did the spiritual and self-help “movement” become “Spiritual Hollywood”? I could see that the true soul of a very powerful movement was in jeopardy of losing its purpose. Sadly, in my opinion, the movement was not so much about healing any more as it was about “star gazing.” After about two years of pushing my book, giving interviews, and lecturing, I burned out. I stopped. I was experiencing my own personal issues at home dealing with a sour relationship and personal feelings of inadequacy. Yes, even we psychics and spiritual teachers have our issues. I needed a break from my own spotlight. I had to get back to what was real. It was time to re-balance my life and gain a clear perspective on my affairs. I left the psycho-spiritual rat race and stepped into my own cocoon in order to heal. A bitter, unhappy spiritual teacher is a bore. I don’t like to be a bore.

What was to be a yearlong hiatus became a three-year retirement. I went back into my work as a publicist and booking agent for speakers. I had done this freelance job between private healing sessions before psychic celebrity fame hit me. It’s funny how the Divine will lead us into life experiences that hold all the answers to the question marks we create for ourselves. I ended up as a booking agent for celebrated actresses who had expanded their careers into spiritual teaching and healing. I found the irony fascinating, as I had previously labeled the current spiritual and self-help movement “Spiritual Hollywood.” Now, I was booking events for this very same movement. It was, however, a completely different energy.

I coined the term, “conscious celebrity” while working during this time as an agent, which is exactly what these public personalities—whom I had the honor of working with—embodied. The amazing ladies who had been a part of Hollywood for many years advised me repeatedly that it was time for their true work to begin. Their concern was a true eye-opener for me. These lovely ladies of the stage and screen were using their visibility to help people in the pursuit of spiritual healing and guidance. Their helpfulness was the true meaning of Spiritual Hollywood in its most authentic form. A thought that I had cast a shadow on was now transformed into the light that it truly was.

Not only was I working with these ladies but I was also learning from them. I was discovering that millions of people all over the world looked up to them for their show business work and as examples of authentic spiritual individuals, as well. I used to overhear attendees at a workshop with Dee Wallace, Helen Reddy, or Lindsay Wagner proclaim, “If they can balance a “Hollywood” life with their spiritual selves, I can do the same in my own life. I can be balanced, too!” I loved the realization that I detected in people’s eyes. I also loved the realization I was seeing within myself, witnessing these Hollywood ladies in all their spiritual glory. During this time, I began to comprehend that my desire for authentic friends and colleagues in the “spiritual biz” came straight out of Hollywood. What divine humor! This timeframe was a wonderful point of enlightenment for me. When I stepped out of the forest, into the sunshine, I could see clearly. I was becoming aware that what I was uncomfortable with during my “psychic celeb years” was something within myself. I had not yet accepted my own mission as a spiritual teacher. So goes the label, “Reluctant Psychic.” I was very afraid people would look at me as the divine source and miss the fact that I was only the messenger. In truth, we are all the divine source. As A Course in Miracles conveys, we are all ideas in the mind of God. I was forgetting the divine perfection within me. I was forgetting that my mission was to magnify the Divine’s love and light on Earth. The very foundation I wanted others to remember was something I had forgotten to reflect within myself. That’s what it really boils down to for all of us: we miss the fact that we are divine perfection. What you see in me, you must see within yourself. The reason we walk our spiritual paths is to remember who we truly are. Then, we must magnify, by example, that realization of divinity to the world.

As I write this narrative, it all makes sense. I was not able to receive the gifts from so many people who read my work and listened to my lectures until I was ready to accept the gift of spirit for myself. In truth, I did not take a hiatus from my mission; I went into hiding. I see that now. Thankfully, the soul will never stop its mission of calling us to our highest potential. Now, as with all realization, comes healing and balance. We must be the light God created us to be. As my dear friend, Dee Wallace, often says, “We all have a bright light, and we must keep it shining for the world to see, so that we can help others shine, too.”

So here I am after three years, and the little voice in my head told me it was time to get back to work. The three years did not pass without working on my own personal issues. I released a relationship that was not good for me, reestablished former friends, built new friendships, and created a wonderful soul family. The reluctant psychic did not feel so reluctant anymore. I was becoming who I was created to be, just like you are. When we truly realize that we are children of the most high, then we start shifting and changing our life to fit that truth. We must clear out the debris and make room for more love in our life. It’s a funny thing. Many people still see psychics and spiritual teachers as having all the answers. That is not true at all. We may have “the calling,” but we are still souls that inhabit a human body with life lessons to learn just like you. We are in fact, and should be, more reflective than most.

Just because a person writes a book about spirituality does not mean he has fully graduated with honors from his own journey.

It’s even more essential for me as a teacher of spirit to delve into my inner questions and walk my talk. Why? The reason is because I cannot in good faith teach you how to rediscover yourself if I’m not doing the same thing. If I don’t walk my talk to some degree, I have no justification to tell you how to do it. I have been called the “Judge Judy” of the psychic/spiritual world, a description that I love. But, this comical label comes from the fact that I’ll whip myself upside the head with truth just as hard as I would you. We are all in this journey together. This statement is a true and conscious evaluation. The years in which I wrote Reader of Hearts and the years that followed its publication were the most expansive for me. I’m still discovering who I am and where I’m going.

It feels good to be with you, dear reader, once more. I’m very excited about my second book. I still get letters from all over the world from fans of Reader of Hearts, and they always end their gratitude with, “When is the new book coming out?” Well, kids, here it is. I realize now that it was not the lack of support in the “spiritual business” that was the problem. It was the lack of support from me that was blocking my mission. What we have blocking us within will project itself to our outside world. What we believe within us we will manifest without. Once I truly started supporting myself, spiritually, I attracted people and experiences that would do the same for my life.

If you lack support for yourself, you will draw to you those who agree with you. If you are tired of people who do not support you, start supporting yourself. Then watch the magic happen. We all need a spiritual support group in life. Start a group, but support yourself in the meantime. The Divine will add members to it one by one. Create your own world, and stop living in others’ realities. As Judy Garland once said, “Always be a first rate version of yourself and not a second rate version of someone else.”