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Happiness is Where You Find it

HAPPINESS IS WHERE YOU FIND IT

What is happiness? Where will you find it? How will you know that you have? You may spend a lifetime searching for it, only to discover it was at your fingertips all along.

You will have found happiness when you can sit back in contentment, knowing that this moment of pleasure could last until the end of your days; and wishing that it would.

DISCOVER YOUR ENJOYMENT FACTORS

Think about your moments of greatest pleasure and try to discern what makes them so special. Is it the place, the atmosphere, the company, your attitude? If certain elements were removed, would the enjoyment diminish? Maybe there is a common denominator, a particular aspect which you are continually attracted to.

Discover your prime enjoyment factors and you could save yourself future disappointment and heartache.

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FINAL DESTINATION - HAPPINESS

Because happiness is so intangible, we seem to expect it to be embodied in some ultimate achievement, a goal which, when reached, will provide the answer to all our prayers. Believe this, by all means, if the goal is realistic for you.

Travel the path you think will earn you the greatest reward, but try to pick one which gives the most satisfaction along the way. Take time to appreciate the smaller pleasures on offer now.

Linger and enjoy what you can, while you can. These special moments will supply the energy to carry on searching; if you still think you really need to.

STROLL FROM A TO B

Set yourself a route to walk, preferably out of town - maybe the bush or the beach. Have a starting point and a particular destination, but no time-limit. Now start out, taking notice of everything along the way.

Pause to examine plants and wildlife, flotsam along the high-tide mark, exposed roots, footprints. Collect shells, driftwood, interesting stones.

Understand that life has far more to offer when you are in less of a hurry to live it.

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ENJOY TODAY AS IT HAPPENS

Enjoying the moment is essential to happiness. Labouring too much on the future is to waste the present.

Plan to make the most of each day, especially one which you are not looking forward to. It will be over much faster if you deal with the challenge at hand, rather than worrying over those to come.

And if it turns out badly, no matter how hard you try – be glad when it’s dead and gone, a ghost which can’t exist in the present unless you allow it.

Regard every tomorrow as a fresh start with the potential for pleasure.

ENJOY TOMORROW - TONIGHT!

You may already be anticipating what tomorrow will bring. Once in bed, turn out the light and plan your enjoyment for the coming day.

Predict any problems and resolve to tackle them in a way which will ensure maximum satisfaction.

Earmark the best aspects as comfort zones to look forward to. Then sleep well to awake refreshed and eager to take up the challenge of a new day.

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ENJOY THE UNENJOYABLE

Like happiness, enjoyment is a state of mind. When we approach something with apprehension expecting it to be distasteful, it often turns out that way.

There is, however, always a positive element in every situation, even if only in the self-satisfaction of having the courage to tackle it.

Look for enjoyment in the least likely of places and it will be there.

THE SILLY SOLUTION

Pick an obnoxious task, especially a routine one, and determine to enjoy it by changing your approach in a comical or ridiculous way.

Wear something preposterous - a face-mask and snorkel to mow the lawn; a single Wellington boot to do the ironing; anything that feels totally out of context with the job in hand.

Talk to the chore as you do it - tell it jokes, or about your sex-life. And don't forget to laugh a lot. After all, you are supposed to be having fun.

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ENJOY, AGAIN AND AGAIN

The enjoyment of a single moment can last a lifetime.

A particularly pleasant experience can lift your spirits again and again by being an example of a good time you once had and can have in future.

These are times which can make even the most depressing of days tolerable.

REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES

Take a few minutes to recall a pleasant memory. Enhance it by looking at associated memorabilia such as photos or souvenirs.

Never be sad that this time has passed. It is still with you, as supportive and comforting as ever. And the essence of it, is what your inner self needs to be truly happy.

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MUSIC IS MEMORIES

"Listen - they're playing our song." Maybe you haven't used those exact words, but if music has been a part of your life at all, you may find certain tunes or artists remind you of particular events from your past.

If they were happy times, replaying those old favourites can be not only nostalgic, but can also help put you in the same positive frame of mind which once made the moment so memorable for you.

RECORD YOUR FAVOURITE SONGS

Make a list of old songs which mean a lot to you, then try to get recordings of them.

Play them whenever you need a psychological boost and draw on the memories they bring for comfort, strength and motivation.

Also, start a current album, taping any tunes that seem to put you in a positive frame of mind.

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GIVING UP ON HOPES AND DREAMS

You think you know what you want, but you can't seem to get close enough to confirm it. All those insurmountable problems crowd in to obstruct the clear view of your ultimate goals to the point where you may as well give up trying.

Don't abandon your dreams - they are an example of what your inner-self needs to be happy. Rather, look for a more realistic alternative which you are confident of reaching.

If the road you elect to travel is, for the present, appealing, you will at least be starting out with renewed enthusiasm and a positive attitude.

ANALYSE YOUR DREAMS

Try to decide what you hope to gain on reaching your dream destination. Will it provide money, security, relaxation, or perhaps a sense of achievement without which you could never be satisfied?

Now estimate the cost of attaining your goal in terms of time, sacrifice, money and whatever else you value.

Finally, imagine that you have this considerable outlay handed to you as a gift, for you to buy whichever future you can afford. Would it still be the same as the one in your dreams?

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PUTTING MISFORTUNE IN PERSPECTIVE

Some things are sent to try us, but we don't always rise to the challenge. We become irritated, aggressive, despondent and very negative, when we should really be grateful.

Put in the right perspective, misfortune can be beneficial by showing us the way we don't want to go. If a set of circumstances makes us unhappy, we then know what to avoid or remove in order to find happiness.

By tackling the problem in this frame of mind, our motivation is the desire for a positive solution which, once achieved, is its own reward.

SPOT THE OMISSION

Take two sheets of paper - one black, one white. In the centre of the black sheet, put a dab of white correcting fluid. Now, hold it before you and focus on the white spot.

After a minute or so, swap to the white sheet. You will be aware that there seems to be a black spot on the supposedly blank sheet.

Your mind is actually putting it there, filling your need for balance. In a similar way, your inner-self can see what you have missed, or are choosing to ignore.

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DESTINATION HAPPINESS

Where does the road to happiness end? Is it one of those concepts like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow which we can never actually hold?

Seek to experience enjoyment along the way. The more you enjoy, the more enjoyment you will want.

When you reach the point where the road is so pleasurable that you hope it will go on forever, then you have arrived.

READ A FAIRY TALE

Choose one you know - Snow White, Little Red Riding Hood, etc. Try to empty your mind of expectancy and criticism. Fully appreciate the story as it unfolds.

You already know it has a happy-ever-after ending, so you can enjoy the elements leading up to the finale without fear of disappointment. This is exactly what you should be doing on your road to happiness.

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HAPPINESS - THE SIMPLE EMOTION

Not enough can be said about happiness, about how important it is and how seemingly elusive it can be. Yet it is the simplest of emotions induced by the most basic of stimuli.

You will experience it most noticeably during periods of tranquillity and contentment, often when you are least active. Whether you have loathed or enjoyed reaching this point, you are now reaping the rewards of your efforts. You are gratified just to be able to appreciate your being exactly as it is at the moment.

This is what you have been searching for - the touch of happiness.

FLOWER IN THE DESERT

Search an area of seemingly barren ground until you find a flower, the smaller the better. Study it, marvel at its courage and tenacity, how it strives for life and perfection under hostile conditions.

Now, stand up and see it for what it is - a flower in the desert, a speck of living beauty in a barren wilderness.

Before you leave, smile at it, as it has smiled at you.

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