Читать книгу Angela 3 - David A. Bedford - Страница 6

Angela Fournier sat on her favorite spot atop a sand dune in the late afternoon, the sun, directly behind her, warming her back. She was on the barrier island in the Sargasso Beach nature preserve on the Texas Gulf Coast, where she came to find peace and inspiration, the place she and her friends had fought to keep unspoiled earlier in the year – but she was not finding peace. She was worried.

In two days she would be starting 12^th grade. That meant she had to apply to colleges and hope to get in. What if no college she wanted would take her? What if she were not good enough? Would she be able to do well in her new courses? And the nature preserve! What if they try again to build a refinery? Would she and her friends have to keep going to meetings, making posters, signing up voters, and have a referendum every few years? What about all the other places along the coast? The oil and construction people will probably be a lot more organized next time and they have so much money!

She tried to fight the sinking feeling. Why did she worry so much about everything? Is it bad to worry? It sure felt like it. Here she was, worrying about worrying. That’s crazy! Now she had to worry about going crazy. No, stop it!

She considered the wisdom in never worrying about anything. That wouldn’t work. If you never worried, you’d never do your homework or study for tests. If an airplane pilot never worried about anything…oooh!

There are so many things to worry about, more than enough to worry all the time. And there’s worrying about worrying. Really, that is nuts. I guess I need to figure out what I don’t need to worry about, thought Angela. First, lots of things I worried about never happened. Ok, that’s good! I can put those aside. Some things that worry me nobody can do anything about. Maybe I can worry about those just a little. Yeah! That makes sense, too.

All right, she thought, then there’s stuff I have to do and I worry that I can’t do it. If I spend all my time worrying then I won’t get it done at all and that’s really stupid. Now I’m seeing something, making progress… Let’s see: If I stay busy working on those things I’ll get them done and not have to worry about them. And, I’ll be too busy to worry about what I shouldn’t worry about. Oooh, that makes me feel better.

Angela stood, stretched, and lingered to watch the full moon rise out of the sea. As the sky darkened, the reflection of the moon on the gulf waters made a silvery path reaching all the way to the beach. Not for the first time, she imagined herself walking on the path, reaching the end, stretching out her hand, and touching the moon. She felt calm and happy. She turned to take the ferry across to the mainland and get home before it was too late, happy that she had a plan to deal with worrying and wondering if she could make it work.

Do other people talk to themselves in the head like I do? That’s crazy!