Читать книгу Mr. Fish & Other Fantasy Tales - David Ph.D Dicaire - Страница 6

Desmond Bray was a very tall, thin individual who looked like he belonged on the basketball court instead of down a jungle-like path amid tall rubber plants, vine-infested trees and armies of annoying, biting insects.

He skirted on the edge of the forest walking slowly each step measured out holding a strange gadget that burped and gurgled like some crazy gizmo. Suddenly, a sharp sound blasted his eardrums and he peeled off the headphones. He looked over at his partner, Luther Gunn, who was busy eating berries from a bush.

Luther was shorter and boasted a girth that made him look like he was pregnant. He was engrossed in the bush and only his butt was sticking out. Desmond was just about to kick him in the behind when the berry eater turned around.

“Desmond you have to try one of these berries they’re delicious.” Slowly it dawned on Luther what his partner was about to do. “Hey, wait a minute, were you going to do what I think you were going to do?”

“Are we here to eat berries or make a million dollars?”

“I don’t see anything wrong with having a little snack now and again. Besides we haven’t seen anything worth photographing in hours. I’m hungry.”

“Look at you. You have juice running down your chin, your commando boots are stained and you don’t have your finger on the camera trigger. What if something popped up right now? Do you want to miss out on a million dollars for a few berries?”

“No, but they’re really good.”

“Concentrate on the work at hand. The Determinator is acting up.”

“Desmond, what came over me? You’re absolutely right. “I’m ready. Come on, let’s do this.”

Desmond turned around and started to walk away. Luther grabbed a few more berries and stuffed them in his pocket.

“I think that we are getting close. The gauge on The Determinator was starting to heat up a minute ago. It could be a fairy or troll and just like that with one picture we’re on Easy Street for the rest of our days. We’ll go out and buy our own tropical island. Right Luther? Luther?”

Desmond turned around and a vine had tied Luther up upside down where he swung like a sack of potatoes.

“Luther quit goofing off. I thought you were serious?

“I am.”

“Get down from there.”

“How about a little help?”

Desmond put down the contraption and attempted to help Luther get down from the tree. The vine started to tangle the tall, thin man and soon they are both intertwined into knots.

Suddenly, something whizzed by and stopped.

“Is that what I think it is?”

“I told you The Determinator was going wonky.”

Desmond and Luther swung back and forth as the glowing light buzzed around them. They struggled valiantly to get down but the more they squirmed, the tighter the knots became.

“This is killing me.”

“These knots are killing me.”

Suddenly there was a flash and they were free; Luther fell on top of Desmond.

“Get off me.”

“Sorry, Desmond.” Luther climbed off of his partner.

They looked around but the glowing light was gone.

“The thing didn’t make hardly any noise.”

“Now concentrate on the mission at hand.”

“I’m right on it, Desmond.”

The bright light sailed behind Luther and stopped for a moment to investigate, then sprinted off without being detected.

Desmond put the headphones back on and lowered the volume as The Determinator began to make some noise.

“Get the special time elapse camera ready because this thing is starting to go crazy again.”

Luther reached around and the glowing light zipped to the other side out of sight. He pulled out the camera from the pack of stuff he was carrying and then turned around. The undetermined flying object returned to its previous spot.

Desmond held the microphone toward Luther. “It’s coming from you.”

“That’s impossible.”

“Turn around.”

Luther turned around and the glowing light slid on his backpack. The Determinator was going absolutely crazy.

“It’s on you.”

“Where is it?” Luther went crazy spinning around in circles. “Get it off me, Desmond.” In the process, the camera flew out of his hands. The glowing light shot out from the backpack and escaped.

Desmond ran for the camera but it was too late.

“Luther.”

“It isn’t my fault, Desmond. Why do you blame me for everything?”

“Come on, it couldn’t have gotten too far.”

Luther took the camera from Desmond. The latter picked up the gadget and they moved on.

They had walked for about an hour and Luther rested on a stump.

“Can we rest for a few minutes? I’m beat.”

Desmond stopped and removed the headphones.

“I wonder what that thing was? It looked like a fairy but it could have been a sprite or something else.”

“Whatever it was, it got too close.”

“Luther you can’t be afraid of what were tracking. This could be the one mission that really changes are careers as investigators.”

Desmond turned around and The Determinator started to smoke and whine. The glowing object sat on top of the contraption.

“Take a picture. Take a picture.”

Luther fumbled with the camera and before he could take a picture, the glowing light had stolen a piece of The Determinator. It flew off and they gave chase.

Luther trying to get the light to sit still aimed the camera wildly clicking fast and furious. He backed up and fell down a steep embankment.

“Desmond.”

Desmond ran over and peered over the side where Luther was hanging on to a branch.

“When are you going to stop goofing off?”

“Who says I’m goofing off?”

Desmond helped Luther up.

“You think I was goofing off, Desmond? Check these pictures out.”

He clicked the camera and started to pour through all the shots taken.

“Well, what do we have?”

“Lots of pictures of the trees and the sky.”

“I should have left you at home.”

“Come on, Desmond, you know we’ll get them.”

Desmond sighed. “At least we know they’re here.”

“Whatever that thing was it’s going to make us a million dollars.”

“Yeah, a million dollars.” Desmond turned the knobs on the Determinator and aimed it at the trees searching for any sign of the light but it was gone.

“We might as well make our way back to the truck and set up camp for the night.”

“Good idea.”

They trudged back and Luther munched on a berry.

“Want one?”

“They could be poisonous.”

“I can’t help myself. They’re delicious.”

“Tomorrow we’re going to get our pictures.”

“Yeah, tomorrow.”

When they arrived at the truck, they packed their gear and a few minutes later were fast asleep.

2

It was late at night. The crickets wouldn’t shut up and somewhere a prairie dog or one of its relatives decided to howl at the pale moon. Desmond tossed and turned and finally sat up.

“I can’t sleep with all this racket going on. In the city, we only hear ambulances and sirens and people screaming. So Luther, want to play cards? I’ll give you a chance to win your money back.”

But Luther was gone.

Desmond got out of the makeshift bed and made his way outside. He grabbed a flashlight, a couple of flares and his walking stick.

He had made it a few feet up the path when Luther, running as fast as he could, flattened Desmond.

“Run, they’re after me.”

Desmond didn’t have time to recover before he looked up and saw a bevy of glowing lights buzz by. They were like a gang of angry bees on the warpath.

“Luther, get the camera.”

Desmond stood up and half of them attacked him. He did his best to fight off the ferocious glowing lights.

Luther rushed back to the truck and fumbled with the equipment. He left the hatch open and ran back with the camera. He tripped and fell and the apparatus flew out of his hands. He recovered it and kept on to help out his friend.

“Help me, Luther.”

The glowing lights hadn’t reduced their attack; in fact, they had increased their determination. Desmond tried his best to fend them off.

“Stay still, Desmond.”

The glowing lights stopped their attack on Desmond and turned to Luther. Before he knew what to do, they raced at him with the fury of a tidal wave.

Luther ran around in a giant circle screaming at the top of his lungs. Finally, he ran out of energy and collapsed. They buzzed around him and in a tight circle quicker and quicker as he coward into a ball.

Desmond recovered and fumbled for the camera. “This is great. If they turn out we’re going to be millionaires. Luther, you’re a genius.”

Suddenly, the glowing lights stopped in mid-stream and pointed their anger at Desmond again before he could take one picture. They raced around the bewildered photographer and knocked him on the ground. He clutched onto the camera and found himself in a tug of war.

“Luther, help me.”

Luther looked up and realized that the glowing lights were not after him anymore. He jumped up and ran over to his friend and grabbed onto the camera with both hands.

There was a tremendous tug of war. More glowing lights joined in the fight. Soon there were dozens of them flying toward the melee attacking both Luther and Desmond.

“Don’t let go, Luther.”

“Don’t worry about it, Desmond.”

They pulled with all of their strength, but the fairies outnumbered them and found a fountain of power that was truly scary. With one giant tug, they pulled the camera from the investigator’s clutches and sailed off with it.

“Get ‘em Luther.”

They jumped up and chased after the dangling camera, but the two city boys who were out of shape were no matches for the speedy flyers.

“Desmond, they’re going too fast.”

And then just like that they were gone.

Luther kept running, stumbled and fell down.

Desmond stopped and tried to catch his breath.

“They stole the camera.”

“They did. Now what?”

“We have to get that camera back.”

“Let’s go back to the truck and get some more equipment.”

“What about sleep?”

“Luther how can you think about sleep when we are on the threshold of a major discovery?”

“You’re right, Desmond.”

As they walked back to their camp Desmond smiled at Luther.

“So how did you ever get them to chase you?”

“I heard something and when I looked up saw a glowing light poking around the truck. So I snuck out and followed it. I know where they live.”

“Really?”

“Oh, yeah. It’s a big old oak tree.”

“I can see that million dollar check.”

“Yeah, a million dollar check.”

They arrived at their truck and something or someone had ransacked all of their supplies. .

“Luther you left the hatch open.”

There was a strange noise coming from the back of the truck.

“Whatever it is, it’s still there.”

They snuck up to the back of the truck and Desmond slammed the hatch closed.

The troll jumped against the window smacking into it with tremendous force. It looked ferocious and dangerous.

“If we could get a picture of that then we would be rich and famous.”

“Yeah, but how? The camera is in the back of the truck?”

“We open the hatch real slow and you grab the troll then I take the picture.”

“Why do I have to grab it?”

“Because I’m a better photographer than you are.”

Luther thought about it for a second.

“Okay.”

“On the count of three. One, two, and three.”

Desmond opened the hatch and Luther grabbed the troll. They struggled but the investigator held on firmly even when the creature tried to bite him.

“Hurry, Desmond, I can’t hang on much longer.”

Desmond hurried trying to get the camera ready.

Suddenly a fairy appeared and threw something into Luther’s eyes. He dropped the troll who escaped.

Desmond turned around and the fairy threw some magic dust in his eyes. He dropped the camera and fell promptly to sleep next to his partner.

3

The two investigators woke up the next morning. Desmond shook the cobwebs out of his head.

“Luther are you awake?”

Luther didn’t open his eyes. Desmond shook his partner and rattled him hard before the former started to stir.

“I didn’t see no fairies, Desmond.”

“Luther wake up.” Desmond smacked him hard. “Are you awake yet?”

“I am now.” Luther groped around for something that wasn’t there.

“Do you hear water?”

“Yeah, I do. Maybe it’s raining.”

Luther went to stand up and the truck creaked forward and then slowly regained its balance.

“Desmond I think we got a real big problem.”

Luther stood in one place his legs spread apart.

“We aren’t on solid ground are we?”

“No, we’re on a giant branch over rapids.”

“That’s impossible.”

Desmond looked out the window and could see only sky.

“Whatever you do don’t make any sudden movements.”

Luther sneezed and his weight shifted to one side. Suddenly, the truck leaned too far forward and slid off the branch plunging into the water. It stayed buoyed for about twenty seconds before it began to sink. All the while, it was being pushed along and bounced off one rock and then another.

“Desmond, I’m too young to die.”

“Hang on, Luther.”

The truck smacked into a boulder and was still for a moment. But the rushing water was too powerful and soon they were racing even quicker down the river with the rapids approaching too quickly.

“Luther, I just want to say that even though you really grate on my nerves that you’re the best partner ever.’

“Desmond you don’t know how much that means to me. And if I am going to die this way then-

The camper truck fell over the falls and they tumbled to a certain death. Suddenly, it started to float in the air and rose above the rapids.

“We must be in heaven and angels are carrying us toward the pearly gates.” There was a child like look of wonder on Luther’s face.

The camper truck was dropped from a good distance and the two investigators bounced around with stuff flying all over the place. They finally recovered and Luther looked out the window.

“If this is heaven it sure looks a lot like earth.”

“Come on, I want to kiss an angel.”

They stepped out of the vehicle and a group of very angry creatures surrounded them. There were fairies, imps, trolls, elves, and other assorted fantasy characters.

“Look its miniature angels.” Luther smiled and waved.

“They’re not angels you dolt, they’re forest creatures.” Desmond smacked him one.

“Who are you and what are you doing here?” Valonia, the queen of the fairies, spoke in a sharp tongue.

“We’re just a couple of photographers who specialize in pictures of the believe it or not variety. We came here because we heard there were all kinds of woodland delights and wanted to get a picture.”

Valonia did not look impressed as she floated in one spot with her arms crossed.

“Do you realize how much that would disrupt our lives?”

“No.”

“No, of course not. Do you think we are freaks of nature?”

“No, but-

“No, but you think we are. We are not freaks of nature; we are one of nature’s greatest assets. We are God’s hand maidens.”

“I always believed that.”

“Shut up tubby,” snapped Valonia.

Luther stepped back.

“You cannot photograph a fairy or any other creature in this forest.”

“Why?”

“Because we don’t want to be exposed to the world. If people knew we existed then they would destroy our homes, our way of life, eventually us. You are going to leave and never come back.”

“Our vehicle isn’t in the condition to go anywhere at the moment.”

“I can see that. I’m afraid that Mandala’s little prank went a little too far.”

“Who is Mandala?”

Mandala, a fairy, shot out from behind a tree with the camera shattered in pieces.

“Hey, that’s the fairy I saw last night.”

“That is a very expensive camera.”

“In your world it is, but in our world it is a weapon to be used against us.”

“Look, there has to be some kind of fair compromise.”

“What do you suggest?”

“Let us take one picture and we’ll call it even.”

“No.”

“Well then you owe us about fifty thousand dollars for all the equipment that was damaged.”

“Fifty thousand dollars means nothing to us. We have riches beyond any amount of money can buy in your greedy, materialistic world.”

“Riches?” Luther smiled.

“The type of riches that you will never get your hands on.”

“Okay we don’t want your riches. But I can guarantee that as soon as we are out of this place, we’re going to tell every able-bodied photographer where you are. They’ll turn this place into a circus and you’ll be the main attraction.”

“Oh really?”

Some of the fairies released their arrows and the tiny projectiles found their way into Luther and Desmond.

“Ouch, those things hurt.”

Both men passed out.

“Get to work quickly before they wake up.”

4

A couple of hours later, Luther and Desmond were sitting on the side of the highway parked in their camper truck. They looked around.

“Where are we?”

“I don’t know.”

“I don’t remember anything.”

“Neither do I.”

“Come on, let’s go find Bigfoot.”

“Okay.”

They drove off. A couple of minutes later, Luther pulled a sweet berry from his pocket.

“Where did you get that?”

“I don’t know, but I’m starving.” He bit into it and smiled.

“Hey, Desmond, do you believe in fairies?”

Desmond looked at him and smiled. “I hear that there are all kinds of creatures in the woods about twenty miles the other way.”

“Well let’s go and take some pictures. We’re going to make a million dollars.”

“Yeah, a million dollars.”

He pulled a sharp U-turn and headed in the opposite direction.