Читать книгу The Pinocchio Syndrome - David Zeman - Страница 13

Manchester, New Hampshire

November 24

11:30 A.M.

His name was Erroll, like the pianist.

They called him ‘Radio Flyer’ because he was always talking about radio waves. Feeling them, hearing them, even seeing them.

He had been homeless for eleven years now, since they closed the state hospital. He slept in abandoned buildings, ate at shelters, and drank everything from Ripple to lighter fluid.

He carried an old Walkman he had found in the trash years ago. He was rarely seen without the little earphones in his ears. He usually had an intent, busy air about him as he dug into garbage cans, bent to collect scraps of newspaper, or, quite often, stood outside appliance stores staring at news broadcasts on display TV sets.

There were those who wondered if there was any sound coming through his famous earphones. ‘He doesn’t need sound,’ said some. ‘He’s got plenty of voices in his head.’

Today, though, the twenty-four-hour all-news station was actually penetrating to Erroll’s brain, for he had put new batteries into the Walkman two weeks ago and they were still running. He nodded knowingly as he listened to the news.

The two beat cops in their cruiser smelled him almost before they saw him. He had an unforgettable odor of stale sweat, urine, alcohol, and tooth decay. They were never glad to see him, for he was full of garbled stories of aliens who were bombarding him with waves.

‘They weren’t supposed to radiate me,’ he would say, ‘but there was a mix-up. They got the wrong guy. Now these rays are killing me, and I can’t get them to stop.’

Usually the cops took him to a shelter whose personnel then escorted him to a clinic where he got medication. But more often than not he didn’t take the medication. He said it made him drool.

Today he shambled toward the cruiser with a bit more purpose than usual. As he approached the car he took off his earphones.

‘Morning, Erroll,’ said the driver. ‘What’s on your mind?’

‘I found a dead body,’ he said.

‘You found a body?’ the driver asked.

‘A dead person,’ he said. ‘Smells, too. Maybe a few days. Wait till you see the hands and feet.’

‘Hands and feet? What are you talking about, Erroll?’

The bum was visibly excited.

‘I keep telling you guys. The men upstairs are making changes. I’m not the only one. Wait till you see the hands and feet.’

‘Where is it, Erroll?’

‘In a Dumpster in the alley off Chestnut Street. Been there all morning.’

The two cops looked at each other. They had long since learned not to attribute any truth to Erroll’s pronouncements. But a body in a Dumpster was something that had to be checked out.

‘Are you sure about this, Erroll?’

‘As God is my judge. I told you there would be changes. I’m not the only one. Just wait till you see.’

The driver sighed. ‘Okay, Erroll. Get in and you can show us.’

They both wrinkled their noses at his smell after he got into the backseat. He gave them directions. They knew the alley well. Traffic was light, so they would be there inside five minutes.

The younger cop was in a happy mood and decided to make conversation with Erroll on the way.

‘How’ve you been, Erroll?’

‘Not so good this week. This pain in my joints … It’s just arthritis. But the waves aggravate it.’

‘What waves?’

‘The radio waves.’ Erroll took on a brooding look. ‘You can’t just bombard healthy tissue with them. It plays hell with arthritis. I told them it can damage tissue. But nobody listens to me.’

‘Who did you tell, Erroll?’

‘The new doctor over at the clinic. I’m sending some circulars around to the state health authorities, too, but I have to get a stamp first.’

‘What kind of stamp, Erroll?’

‘A rate stamp. It tells your rate so they know how to sort the mail.’

The cop turned around. ‘Rate? What sort of rate?’

‘Your rate in the organization,’ Erroll explained. ‘I’m 513, but that’s only because I missed my last review. You guys, you have it made. You’re set for life. A cop, that’s 915 or better. What I couldn’t do with 915!’ Erroll looked moodily at the buildings passing by the window.

‘Uh-huh,’ the cop said, glancing at his partner with a meaningful look.

‘But I’ll get my rate back and more after today,’ Erroll said. ‘Just wait till you see. I told you there’d be changes.’

‘What kind of changes?’ asked the driver.

‘All kinds of changes,’ Erroll said darkly. ‘I told you, I’m not the only one. Everything is going to change.’

The cruiser pulled into an alley between two rows of very old office buildings. The Dumpster was about halfway down.

‘Is this it, Erroll?’ the younger cop asked.

‘Yeah. Let’s go, let’s hurry.’

They stopped behind the Dumpster. Sighing, the two cops got out of the cruiser. One of them turned to Erroll when the smell hit his nostrils.

‘Looks like you hit the jackpot, Erroll,’ he said. ‘I smell a popper, or I’m a monkey’s uncle.’

His partner looked nauseated. They approached the Dumpster. One cop lifted himself up to look inside while the other scanned the windows along the alley.

‘Did you see anybody else?’ he called to Erroll.

‘Nobody. Not a soul.’

The cop began shoving garbage out of the way, breathing through his mouth. He nodded to his partner. ‘Yeah, we got a cold one.’

The second cop came to stand next to the Dumpster while the first one threw more garbage out of the way. Erroll could hear him sighing and gasping for breath. Something was clinging to his uniform, and he threw it off with a curse.

Then he stopped cold. He looked closer at the corpse.

‘Jesus Christ.’

‘What’s the matter?’ asked the second cop.

‘There’s something wrong with the hands. Wait …’

He looked deeper, gasping in disgust. More garbage was thrown aside. Uncovered, the corpse filled the alley with the stench of decay.

Both cops looked somewhat sick, but Erroll breathed in the smell without blanching.

‘Look at the feet,’ he said. ‘Go on.’

The cop in the Dumpster rooted deeper and paused once again. He came up with wide eyes, looking at his partner.

‘Look at this,’ he said.

The partner stood on tiptoe to look over the edge of the Dumpster. He took a long look, then looked back at Erroll.

‘You saw this?’ he asked.

‘Of course I saw it,’ Erroll said. ‘Saw it first thing. That’s why I came to get you. I told you there’d be changes. Didn’t I? Didn’t I predict this? You can see he’s changed. Just look.’

Both cops looked closely at the body. ‘Holy shit,’ one of them murmured.

Then the younger one got out, went back to the cruiser, and got on the radio to call for an ambulance.

‘See?’ Erroll said to the other cop. ‘Didn’t I tell you? I told the docs too, but they wouldn’t believe me, they just smiled. But you can see with your own eyes that it’s the truth, can’t you? Come on. Say so.’ Erroll was almost jumping up and down in his excitement.

The cop had finished on the radio. A distant siren was heard.

‘What time did you say you found this, Erroll?’ the older one asked.

‘First thing this morning. Six, six-thirty.’

‘And you didn’t see anyone around?’

‘No one.’

The other cop had returned. Both of them stood by the Dumpster, looking at each other and at Erroll.

‘Did you ever see a thing like that?’ the younger one asked.

‘Never.’ The older cop was as shocked as the younger.

Erroll stood talking to them until the ambulance came. A paramedic got out and came up to them.

‘What have you got?’ he asked.

‘Dead body,’ said the younger cop. ‘Discovered by this man early this morning.’

‘Is there something unusual?’ the paramedic asked.

‘Take a look at the hands and feet.’ The older cop stood back to give the paramedic room.

The paramedic stood on tiptoe, just as the cops had done. He took a long look, then turned back to the cops.

‘Jesus Christ,’ he said.

‘I told you,’ Erroll said happily.

The two cops and the paramedic glanced at Erroll. Then the paramedic called the emergency room at the hospital.

‘We have a corpse with an odd deformity,’ he said. ‘I’m heading for the medical examiner’s office. You might want to send someone over to observe.’

They asked him something over the radio.

‘The hands and feet don’t look right,’ he said. ‘They’re enlarged and deformed. You have to touch them to really see the difference. To me they don’t even look human.’

Erroll nodded, giggling. ‘I told you there’d be changes,’ he said, putting on his earphones.