Читать книгу Head Kid - David Baddiel - Страница 10

Ryan didn’t turn round. Focused, concentrating, he kept his finger still.

“I don’t know, Dionna,” said Ryan. “What do you think I’m doing?”

Dionna Baxter, standing right behind him, was Ryan’s best friend. She was also usually his prank assistant. But that didn’t mean she saw herself as junior to him. Not least because she was two months older.

“I think you’re doing something that means that ant is gonna die.”

“Well … possibly …” said Ryan.

“Can’t do that,” said Dionna.

“What?”

“Can’t do that, Ryan. Not fair to the ant. Little ant just strolling around your garden, building its ant stuff, carrying leaves …”

“Actually, it was carrying one of my bogies. That’s how I caught it. Couldn’t resist that salty goodness.”

“Whatevs. Point is, it doesn’t deserve what you’ve got planned. Mr B, maybe. Not the ant.”

“Dionna,” said Ryan, still looking at the ant, which by now had nearly made it to the teacher’s forehead, “if we keep arguing, Barrington will wake up!”

“So. Stop arguing.”

Finally, Ryan moved his gaze up to meet Dionna’s. Her eyes looked at him in a way that brooked no argument.

Ryan sighed. “OK. OK!” He put his finger back down into the plastic box with the lettuce in it. The ant, uncertain as to the point of its journey to and from the box, crawled off and resumed munching.

“So now what are we going to use to tickle him?” said Ryan.

“No worries,” said Dionna. She went round behind Mr Barrington’s still-sleeping form and flicked her head down, making the front tips of her hair fall on to his forehead. She moved her head from side to side, drawing the strands gently across his ingrained frown lines.

Mr Barrington twitched in his sleep. His nose wiggled. Ryan, watching, understood.

“OK, everyone! Back to your seats! Now!”

Everyone ran, and they all got there in time. In time, that is, to see – in one movement – Mr Barrington open his eyes, let his glasses fall back down on to his nose and slap the palm of his right hand hard across his forehead.

He yawned, stood up and said, “Hmm. Right, class!”

He was about to say, “That was a very interesting documentary. I hope you all enjoyed it.”

But he never got the chance as they were all pointing at him and laughing.