Читать книгу Moon Over Water - Debbie Macomber - Страница 7

“E ternal rest grant upon her, oh, Lord….” Lorraine Dancy closed her eyes as the first shovelful of dirt hit her mother’s casket. The sound seemed to reverberate around her, magnified a hundred times, drowning out the words intoned by Father Darien. This was her mother—her mother —and Virginia Dancy deserved so much more than a cold blanket of Kentucky mud.

Lorraine had received word the evening of April first that her mother had been involved in a horrible freeway accident. In the beginning she’d thought it was some kind of cruel hoax, a distasteful practical joke, but the mud-splattered casket was real enough to rip her heart wide open.

Her chest tightened with the effort to hold back tears. A low mewling sound escaped her lips and her trembling increased as she listened to the priest’s words in the gray afternoon.

After a while, the friends who’d come to say their last farewells started to move away. Father Darien gently took hold of Lorraine’s hands and in sincere compassionate tones offered a few final words of comfort. Reaching deep within herself, Lorraine managed to thank him.

Still, she remained.

“Sweetheart.” Gary Franklin, her fiancé, stepped closer and placed his arm around her waist. “It’s time to go home.”

She resisted and held her ground when Gary tried to steer her toward the waiting limo. She wasn’t ready to leave her mother. Not yet. Please, not yet. It made everything so final…to turn her back and walk away.

This shouldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be real. But the reality of the moment was undeniable—the open grave, the nearby headstones, the muddy ground. Her fears assailed her from all sides, sending a chill down her spine. Lorraine wasn’t sure she could survive without her mother’s love and support. Virginia had been her touchstone. Her example. Her mother.

“Sweetheart, I know this is difficult, but you can’t stay here.” Gary again tried to urge her away from the grave.

“No,” she said, her voice stronger this time. What made it all the more difficult, all the more painful, was the complete lack of warning. Lorraine had talked to her mother that very weekend. They were so close; it had been the two of them against the world for as long as Lorraine could remember. Not a day passed that they didn’t connect in some way—with a conversation, a visit, even an e-mail message. On Saturday they’d spent more than an hour on the phone discussing plans for the wedding.

Her mother had been delighted when Lorraine accepted Gary’s proposal. Virginia had always liked Gary and encouraged the relationship from the beginning. Gary and her mother had gotten along famously.

Just last weekend—just a few days ago—her mother had been alive. During their phone call Virginia had chatted endlessly about the kind of wedding she wanted for her only child. They’d discussed the wedding dress, the bridesmaids, the flowers, the invitations. Lorraine had never heard her mother sound more excited. In her enthusiasm, Virginia had even mentioned her own wedding all those years ago and the only man she’d ever loved. She rarely spoke of Lorraine’s father. That was the one thing she didn’t share with her daughter—at least not since Lorraine’s early teens. Those were private memories, and it was as though Virginia held them close to her heart. They’d sustained her through the long lonely years of widowhood.

Lorraine couldn’t remember her father, who’d died when she was barely three. It seemed her mother had loved Thomas Dancy so completely she’d never entertained the thought of remarrying. No man, she’d once told Lorraine, could live up to the memory of the one she’d lost.

Her parents’ love story was possibly the most romantic Lorraine had ever heard. When she was small, her mother had often told her how wonderful Thomas had been. In later years, of course, she hardly ever talked about him, but Lorraine remembered those long-ago stories—of her father being a decorated war hero and how her parents had defied everyone by getting married. They were the adventure tales, the marvelous bedtime stories of her early childhood, and they’d made a deep and lasting impression on her. It was one of the reasons Lorraine had waited until she was twenty-eight before becoming engaged herself. For years she’d been searching for a man like her father, a man who was noble. Honest. Brave. A man of integrity and high ideals. No one seemed right until Gary Franklin came into her life.

“Lorraine, everyone’s gone.” Gary’s arm tightened around her waist.

“Not yet. Please.” She couldn’t leave her mother, not like this. Not in a cold wet grave when Virginia Dancy hadn’t even reached the age of fifty. The pain was more than Lorraine could bear. As the agony of the moment consumed her, tears began to roll down her cheeks.

“Come on, honey, let me get you away from here,” Gary murmured in a voice gentle with sympathy.

Lorraine took a step in retreat. She didn’t want Gary. She didn’t want anyone except her mother. And her mother was in a grave. “Oh, Mom,” she cried, then broke into sobs, unable to stop herself.

Gary turned her in his arms and held her protectively against him. “Let it out, sweetheart. It’s okay. Go ahead and cry.”

Lorraine hid her face in his shoulder and wept as she hadn’t since that night the state patrolman had come to her with the tragic news. How long Gary let her weep, she didn’t know. Until her eyes stung and her nose ran and there were no more tears to shed.

“The house is going to fill up and you’ll need to be there,” Gary reminded her.

“Yes, we should go,” she agreed, and wiped her nose with the tissue he handed her, grateful that Virginia’s neighbor, Mrs. Henshaw, would be there to let everyone in. Lorraine was calmer now, more self-possessed. People would want to talk about her mother, and since Lorraine was the only one left in the family, she’d have to be in control of her emotions.

Together she and Gary started toward the parking lot. Away from her mother. Away from the only parent she’d ever known.

Lorraine’s one comfort, small as it was, was the knowledge that after twenty-five years apart, her parents were finally together again.

Lorraine couldn’t sleep, but then she hadn’t really expected to. She should be exhausted. She was exhausted; she’d barely slept in days. This past week had been the most emotionally draining of her life. But even now, after the funeral and the wake, she was too restless to collapse into sleep.

Gary seemed to think that spending the night at her mother’s house wasn’t the best idea. He was probably right. Her sense of judgment, along with everything else, had been thrown off-kilter by the news of her mother’s death.

The wake had been here, at Virginia’s place. It only made sense that everyone come to the house. Lorraine’s apartment was much too small to host the event, and a restaurant seemed too impersonal. Parishioners from St. John’s Church where Virginia had faithfully attended Mass all these years, plus a large group of neighbors, co-workers and friends, had lingered to tell Lorraine how sorry they were. They, too, appeared to have difficulty accepting the suddenness of her mother’s death.

Virginia had been an active member of St. John’s and a devout Catholic. For twenty years she sang in the choir and worked tirelessly for her church “family.” As a stockbroker with a large national firm, she’d made a name for herself in the business world. Turnover at the firm was high, and Virginia had learned that office friendships were often fleeting. Nevertheless, the house had been crammed with people.

Contrary to what Lorraine had assumed, she wasn’t needed as hostess. Friends and neighbors arrived bearing casseroles, breads and salads, which soon covered the dining-room table. The extras spilled into the kitchen and lined the countertops.

Lorraine was grateful to everyone, especially Gary who’d been both kind and helpful. Yet throughout the wake, all Lorraine had wanted was to be alone, to grieve by herself without people pressing in on her. But that wasn’t possible. It took her a while to realize that the friends who’d come were in need of solace, too. So she’d accepted their condolences and done her best to assume the role of comforter. Before long, she’d found herself depleted of energy, and she’d sunk into her mother’s favorite chair. Sitting there helped her feel closer to the mother she’d loved so deeply. It eased the ache of loneliness that threatened to consume her in a room full of people.

An endless stream of sympathy and advice had come at her.

“Of course you’ll want to keep the house…”

Lorraine had nodded.

“Naturally you’ll be selling the house…”

Lorraine had nodded.

“Your mother was a fine woman…”

“We’re all going to miss her…”

“She’s in a happier place now…”

“…such a senseless tragedy.”

Lorraine had agreed with one and all.

By the time everyone had left, it was dark. Gary had helped her with the cleanup and urged her to return to her own apartment. Or to his. He didn’t seem to understand her need to stay here, but how could he? He’d never lost a parent.

“You should go on home,” she’d told him. “I’ll be fine.”

“Darling, you shouldn’t be alone. Not tonight.”

“It’s what I want,” she’d insisted, yearning for him to leave. It was an unfamiliar feeling, and one she didn’t fully understand. She loved Gary, planned to spend the rest of her life with him, but at that moment she’d wanted him out the door. She had to deal with her grief and pain in her own way.

“You need me,” Gary said with loving concern.

“I do,” she agreed. “Just not right now.”

Disappointment registered in his deep brown eyes and he nodded with obvious reluctance. “You’ll phone if you change your mind?”

Lorraine had said she would.

He’d kissed her on the forehead in a sweet gesture of love and consolation. Shivering with the evening’s cold, Lorraine had stood out on the porch and watched him drive away.

She’d finished the remaining dishes, then wandered aimlessly through the house, pausing in the entrance to each room. Tenderly she caressed the things that had once been her mother’s most prized possessions. She closed her eyes and pictured her mother and father together at last and the wonderful reunion they must have enjoyed.

Lorraine was comforted by the knowledge that Virginia had been happy during the last weeks of her life. She’d been thrilled at the news of her daughter’s engagement, thrilled at the prospect of planning a large formal wedding. No sooner had Lorraine accepted Gary’s proposal than Virginia had started making elaborate plans for the October wedding. She’d valued tradition and frowned on Lorraine’s having chosen a small emerald necklace in lieu of the usual engagement ring.

“You have your wish now, Mom,” she said aloud. The wedding ring on her left hand had belonged to her mother. The inside of the band was engraved with the words “I’ll love you always. Thomas.” The funeral director had given it to her that very day, just before he’d closed the casket. Lorraine had slipped it on and wouldn’t remove it until the time came for her own wedding. Her mother had worn this ring since the day Thomas Dancy placed it on her finger, and now Lorraine would wear it, too.

“What am I going to do without you, Mom?” Lorraine said into the stillness of the night, her eyes welling with tears. It surprised her that she had any left.

She mulled over everything she’d done that had been a disappointment to her mother. She’d dropped out of medical school after her second year and trained as a nurse/practitioner, instead. Virginia had said little, but Lorraine knew her mother regretted that decision. She liked to think she’d made up for it when she met Gary, who sold medical supplies to Group Wellness, where Lorraine worked.

The fact that she’d become a lapsed Catholic had distressed her mother, as well, but Lorraine had never identified with the church the way Virginia had. She attended a nondenominational Christian church, but her mother would have preferred she remain Catholic.

“I’m so sorry, Mom,” she whispered, knowing she’d let her mother down in countless other ways.

When she’d finished her emotional journey through the house, Lorraine had taken a hot shower and changed into a nightgown, one she’d bought Virginia the previous Christmas. After giving the matter some thought, she’d chosen to sleep in her mother’s room, rather than her own. When she was frightened as a child, she’d always climbed into her mother’s bed. Lorraine was frightened now, afraid of the future, afraid to be without Virginia, without family.

As she lay there sleepless, she gathered her memories around her, finding consolation in the happiness they’d experienced. Day-to-day life had been full of shared pleasures, like cooking elaborate meals together, watching the classic movies they both loved, exchanging favorite books. Virginia also worked for several church-sponsored charities, and Lorraine sometimes spent an evening helping her pack up boxes of food for needy families, or stuffing envelopes. Her mother had been a wonderful woman, and Lorraine was proud of her. She’d been devout in her faith, hardworking, kindhearted. Smart, but generous, too.

After an hour or so, Lorraine gave up even trying to sleep. She sat up and reached for the framed photograph of her parents, which rested on the nightstand. The picture showed Virginia as young and beautiful, wearing a full, ankle-length dress with a wreath of wildflowers on her head. Her long straight hair fell nearly to her waist. She held a small bouquet of wildflowers in one hand; with the other hand she clasped her husband’s. Her eyes had been bright with happiness as she smiled directly into the camera.

The Thomas Dancy in the picture was tall and bearded, and wore his hair tied in a ponytail. He gazed at his bride with an identical look of love and promise. Anyone who saw the photograph could tell that the two of them had been deeply in love.

As recently as last weekend, when they’d been discussing Lorraine’s wedding plans, she’d teased her mother about the photo, calling her parents “flower children.” Virginia had been good-natured about it and merely said, “That was a long time ago.”

Sadly this photograph was the only one Lorraine had of her parents together. Everything else had been destroyed in a fire when she was in grade school. Lorraine remembered the fire, not realizing until years later all that she’d lost. Her parents’ photographs and letters, her father’s medals…

Lorraine knew that Virginia O’Malley had met Thomas Dancy her freshman year in college and they’d quickly fallen in love. The war in Vietnam had separated them when her father volunteered for the army in 1970. He’d survived the war and come home a hero. It was a year later, during a routine physical, that something unusual had shown up in his blood work. That something had turned out to be leukemia. Within six months, Thomas was dead and Virginia was a young widow with a child.

Virginia’s parents had helped financially for many years, but both of Lorraine’s maternal grandparents had died in the early eighties. Her father’s relatives were unknown to her. Her mother had one younger brother, but he’d gotten involved with drugs and alcohol and communication between them had been infrequent at best. The last time Virginia had heard from her brother was five years ago, when he’d phoned her asking for money to make bail. Virginia had refused. Lorraine’s only cousin lived someplace in California, and she hadn’t seen or heard from her since the summer she was thirteen.

In other words, Lorraine was alone. Completely and utterly alone.

The phone startled her, and she whirled around and grabbed the receiver. “Hello,” she said breathlessly, uncertain who to expect.

Gary. “Just checking to make sure you’re all right.”

“I’m okay,” she told him.

“You want me to come over?”

“No.” Why can’t you just accept that I need this time alone? His attitude upset her. This wasn’t like Gary.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be by yourself,” he said. He’d mentioned this earlier, more than once. “I know it’s all a terrible shock, but the last thing you should do now is isolate yourself.”

“Gary, please. I buried my mother this afternoon. I…I don’t have anyone else.”

Her words were met with an awkward pause. “You have me,” he said in a small hurt voice.

She regretted her thoughtlessness and at the same time resented his intrusion. “I know how that must have sounded and I’m sorry. It’s just that everything is still so painful. I need a chance to adjust.”

“Have you decided to sell the house?” Gary asked.

Lorraine didn’t understand why everyone was so concerned about what she did with the house. “I…don’t know yet.”

“It makes sense to put it on the market, don’t you think?”

She closed her eyes and sought answers. “I can’t make that kind of decision right now. Give me time.”

She must have sounded impatient because Gary was immediately contrite. “You’re right, darling, it’s too soon. We’ll worry about it later. Promise you’ll phone if you need me?”

“I promise,” she whispered.

After a few words of farewell, she ended the call. As she replaced the receiver, her gaze fell on the clock radio. She was shocked to discover it was barely nine o’clock. It felt more like midnight. She lay back down and stared up at the ceiling, letting her thoughts creep into the future. Her mother wouldn’t be at her wedding, wouldn’t be there for the births of her grandchildren. Virginia Dancy had looked forward to becoming a grandmother; now her grandchildren would never know her.

Rather than deal with yet another aspect of her loss, Lorraine turned her mind to Gary’s unexpected call. He’d brought up a number of questions she still had to face.

The house had to be dealt with soon. If it sat empty for long, it’d start to deteriorate, not to mention attract vandals. Gary was right; she had to figure out what to do about it. Finances and legal issues posed another problem. She’d never even seen her mother’s will.

She’d deal with one thing at a time, she decided. That was advice Virginia had given her as a child and it had always stood her in good stead. One step and then another.

The call from Dennis Goodwin, her mother’s attorney, came a week after the funeral, when Lorraine had returned to work. She’d been expecting to hear from him. Dennis had told her at the funeral that there were a few legal matters that needed to be resolved and then he’d get in touch. He wouldn’t need more than fifteen or twenty minutes of her time. He’d promised to phone the following week and set up an appointment.

True to his word, Dennis had called her exactly a week after she’d buried her mother.

Lorraine arrived at the appointed time, prepared to hear the details of her mother’s will. The receptionist greeted her pleasantly, then reached for the intercom button. “Lorraine Dancy is here to see you,” she announced.

A moment later Dennis Goodwin appeared in the reception area. “Lorraine,” he said, his voice warm. “It’s good to see you.” He ushered her into his office.

Lorraine knew that Virginia had both liked and trusted Dennis. They’d worked in the same Louisville office building, and during that time, he’d acted as Virginia’s attorney of record for her will and any other legal matters.

“Have a seat,” he invited. “How are you holding up?”

“About as well as can be expected,” Lorraine told him. She no longer felt the need to brush aside her own grief in an effort to comfort others. The week since the funeral had been difficult. She couldn’t have borne it without Gary’s constant support.

“As you’re already aware,” the attorney said, leaning toward Lorraine, “I knew your mother for a number of years. She was one of the most talented stockbrokers I ever met. Back in the eighties, she recommended I purchase shares in a little-known Seattle company called Microsoft. Because of her, I’ll be able to retire in a couple of years. In fact, I could live off that investment alone.”

“Mom loved her job.”

“She made several smart investments of her own,” he added. “You won’t have to worry about finances for a long time to come.”

The news should have cheered her, Lorraine supposed, but she’d much prefer to have her mother back. No amount of financial security could replace what she’d lost.

She folded her hands in her lap and waited for him to continue.

“Your mother came to me four years ago and asked me to draw up her will,” Dennis said. He rolled away from his desk and reached for a file. “According to the terms, you’re her sole beneficiary. Under normal circumstances, our meeting wouldn’t be necessary.”

Lorraine frowned.

“But in the event of an untimely death, Virginia asked me to speak to you personally.”

Lorraine slid forward in her chair. “Mom wanted you to talk to me? About what?”

“Medical school.”

“Oh.” She gave a deep sigh. “Mom never understood about that.”

The attorney raised his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“It was a big disappointment to Mom when I decided to drop out.”

“Why did you?”

Lorraine looked out the window, although she scarcely noticed the view.

“A number of reasons,” she finally murmured, glancing down at her hands. “I love medicine and Mom knew that, but while I have the heart of a physician, I don’t have the competitive edge. I hated what medical school was like—the survival of the fittest. I couldn’t do that. Maybe I’m lazy, I don’t know, but I have everything I want now.”

“How’s that?”

Her smile was brief. “I do almost as much as a doctor, but without the bucks or the glory.”

“I believe your mother did understand that,” Dennis said, although Lorraine suspected it wasn’t completely true. “But she wanted you to know that the funds are available if you should change your mind and decide to go back.”

Lorraine’s eyes stung as she held back the tears. “Did she tell you I’d recently become engaged?”

“She hadn’t mentioned it. Congratulations.”

“Thank you. Gary and I only recently told…” Lorraine let the rest fade. The attorney waited patiently, but she didn’t trust her voice.

“If you reconsider and decide you’d try medical school again, I’ll do whatever I can to help you.”

His offer surprised her. “Thank you, but I’m not going to do that. Not when Gary and I are about to start our lives together.”

“Well, I promised I’d mention it to you if the occasion arose. It saddens me that it has.”

Within a few minutes, Dennis finished explaining the terms of the will and handed her the necessary paperwork. When she’d read everything, he passed her another sheet of paper.

“What’s this?” she asked.

“An inventory of the safe-deposit box. I went down to the bank yesterday afternoon and retrieved everything. I have it all for you here.” He stood and picked up the manila envelope on his credenza. “I wanted you to be sure that every document listed on the sheet is accounted for.”

Because she knew it was expected of her, Lorraine dumped the contents of the envelope onto the desk surface and checked off the items on the list. She’d previously seen or known about everything here. Or so she assumed until she found the opened letter addressed to her mother. How odd, she mused, studying its colorful foreign stamps.

“Do you know anything about this letter?” she asked the attorney.

“Nothing. Actually, it seemed odd to me that Virginia would put something so obviously personal in with documents that were all business-related.”

“It’s from Mexico,” Lorraine said unnecessarily.

“Yes, I noticed that.”

“Postmarked seven years ago.” She withdrew the single page inside. After scanning it, she turned it over and read the signature. Gasping, she lifted her head to stare at Dennis Goodwin.

“You’re…you’re sure you didn’t know about this?” She was unable to conceal her shock.

“Lorraine, I don’t know anything about that letter. I was your mother’s lawyer, not her confidant. What she chose to place in the safe-deposit box had nothing to do with my role as her attorney.”

Lorraine sagged against the back of the chair and raised her hand to her throat. “Could…could I have a glass of water please?” Her mouth felt incredibly dry and her voice had gone hoarse. This couldn’t be true. Couldn’t be real. This was crazy.

“I’ll be right back.” Dennis stepped out of his office and quickly returned with a large paper cup.

Lorraine drank the contents in several noisy gulps and briefly closed her eyes, trying to take in what she’d learned.

“I’m sorry if something’s upset you,” Dennis said.

“You really haven’t read the letter?” she asked shakily.

“No, of course not. It would’ve been highly unethical to do so.”

Lorraine waited until she’d regained her composure enough to sound unemotional. “It appears, Dennis,” she said calmly, “that my father isn’t dead, after all.”