Читать книгу Blossom Street Bundle - Debbie Macomber - Страница 29

Chapter 24

Wednesday afternoon, the sun was shining and the wind off Puget Sound was warm. This was a perfect spring day, and Anne Marie suddenly realized she felt…good. She’d almost forgotten what that was like. The comfort of the sun, the freshness of the breeze, the company of others—they all contributed to her sense of well-being. Most of all, though, she felt a contentment she hadn’t experienced since before her separation from Robert.

She’d just finished a knitting class with Elise Beaumont. Three other women had signed up, and the session had been fun, with plenty of banter as Elise reviewed their work.

While she was at the yarn store, Colette Dempsey came by with her infant daughter. At first Anne Marie had been afraid that seeing her friend with the baby would be painful; it wasn’t. Even though the world seemed to be full of surprise pregnancies and secret ones, too, she managed to distance herself from destructive emotions like envy.

She found she could genuinely delight in Colette’s joy. They talked for an hour, and the visit passed with barely a ripple of pain.

Anne Marie was saddened by the news that Colette and her husband, Christian, would be moving to California at the end of June for business reasons. Christian owned a successful importing firm and would be opening a second office in San Diego.

She recalled that only a year ago, Colette had been a widow like her, and that was something they’d had in common. But Colette had been hiding a pregnancy and she’d struggled with a painful dilemma that had been dramatically resolved.

Nothing dramatic had happened to Anne Marie in the last two months. Nothing had really changed, either; certainly not her circumstances, other than the fact that Ellen was living with her but that was only a temporary situation. The only difference was in Anne Marie’s attitude.

She still had to make an effort to maintain that attitude. Her Twenty Wishes had helped, because she now felt she had some control over her emotions. Doing something for someone else—Ellen—had, without a doubt, made the biggest difference.

To be honest, avoiding the question of Rebecca Gilroy had helped, too. One day soon, she’d ask who had fathered her son. But not until she felt ready to accept the answer.

After her knitting class, Anne Marie did a few errands and then collected Baxter so the two of them could meet Ellen’s school bus. The girl’s spirits had been low since she’d learned that her Grandma Dolores wouldn’t be home as quickly as they’d hoped.

Anne Marie decided a leisurely walk, maybe stopping somewhere for something to eat, might improve Ellen’s mood. As she waited on the street corner, the big yellow bus rumbled down Blossom Street. When it stopped and Ellen hopped out, Baxter strained against his leash, whining excitedly.

“How was school?” Anne Marie asked.

“Good.”

The noncommittal reply was typical. Generally it wasn’t until later in the evening, usually over dinner, that Ellen began to talk more freely. She appeared to need time to assimilate the day’s events and perhaps figure out how much to share.

“I thought we’d take Baxter for a walk together.”

“Okay.”

Ellen rarely showed much enthusiasm when Anne Marie suggested an outing. She revealed her pleasure in other ways. Anne Marie suspected she was afraid to let anyone know she was happy about something, for fear that the object of her happiness would be taken away.

“If you want, you can leave your backpack in the shop with Theresa.”

“Okay.” Ellen raced ahead and Anne Marie watched her employee place the heavy bag behind the counter. A minute later, Ellen was back.

“You ready?” Anne Marie asked.

“Ready.”

Baxter certainly was. Her Yorkie pulled at the leash; apparently Anne Marie wasn’t walking briskly enough to satisfy him. The dog had places to go, territory to mark and friends to greet, especially the friends who kept special treats just for him.

“Let’s walk down to Pike Place Market and have dinner at one of the sidewalk cafés,” Anne Marie said. “Does that sound good?”

Ellen shrugged. “I guess so.”

“Or would you rather go down to the waterfront and get fish and chips?”

Ellen didn’t seem to have an opinion one way or the other. “What do you want?”

Anne Marie had to think about it. “Pizza,” she finally said. “I haven’t had it in ages.”

“What kind?”

“Thin crust with lots of cheese.”

“And pepperoni.”

“Let’s see if we can find a restaurant where we can order pizza and eat outside.”

“Okay.”

On a mission now, they trudged down the steep hill toward the Seattle waterfront. Pike Place Market was a twenty-minute hike, but neither complained. Baxter didn’t, either, although this was new territory for the dog. Once they reached the market, Anne Marie picked him up and cradled him in her arms.

Ellen and Anne Marie strolled through the market, where they watched two young men toss freshly caught salmon back and forth for the tourists’ benefit. Ellen’s eyes grew huge as she gazed at the impromptu performance. When they left the market building, the little girl slipped her hand into Anne Marie’s and they walked down the Hill Climb stairs to the waterfront. Baxter was back on his feet by then, taking in all the fascinating smells around him.

“Have you ever been to the Seattle Aquarium?” Anne Marie asked when the building came into view.

“My class went.”

“Did you like it?”

Ellen nodded eagerly. “I got to touch a sea cucumber and it felt really weird and I saw a baby sea otter and a real shark.”

She’d liked it, all right, if she was willing to say this much. After investigating several stores that catered to Seattle tourists, Anne Marie located a pizza place. While they waited for their order, they sipped sodas at a picnic table near the busy waterfront. They both ate until they were stuffed and still had half the pizza left over.

“Shall we save it?” Anne Marie asked. Ellen agreed. It seemed a shame to throw it out, but she suspected that if they brought it home, it would sit in the refrigerator for a few days and end up in the garbage, anyway.

Anne Marie carried the cardboard box in one hand and held Baxter’s leash in the other. They’d just started back when Ellen noticed a homeless man sitting on a bench, his grocery cart parked close by. Tugging at Anne Marie’s arm, she whispered something.

“What is it?” Anne Marie asked. “I couldn’t hear you.”

“He looks hungry,” Ellen said a bit more loudly. “Can we give him our pizza?”

“What a lovely idea. I’ll ask if he’d like some dinner.” Impressed with Ellen’s sensitivity, Anne Marie gave her the leash and approached the man on the bench.

He stared up at her, disheveled and badly in need of a bath. Despite the afternoon sunshine, he wore a thick winter jacket.

“We have some pizza,” Anne Marie explained, “and we were wondering if you’d like it.”

The man frowned suspiciously at the box. “What kind you got?”

“Well, cheese and—”

“I don’t like them anchovies,” he broke in. “If you got anchovies on it, I’ll pass. Thanks, anyway.”

Anne Marie assured him the pizza contained no anchovies and handed him the box. He lifted the lid and frowned. “That’s all?” They’d gone about a block when the absurdity of the question struck her. She started to giggle.

Clearly puzzled, Ellen looked up at her.

That was when Anne Marie began to laugh, really laugh. Her shoulders shook and tears gathered in her eyes. “That’s all?” she repeated, laughing so hard her stomach ached. “And he didn’t want anchovies.” Why she found the man’s comments so hilarious she couldn’t even say.

Ellen continued to study her. “You’re laughing.”

“It’s funny.”

“That’s on your list, remember?”

Anne Marie’s laughter stopped. Ellen was right. She wanted to be able to laugh again and here she was, giggling hysterically like a teenage girl with her friends. This needed to be documented so she pulled out her cell phone and had Ellen take her picture.

Then she dashed back and piled all the change and small bills she had—four or five dollars’ worth—on the pizza box.

Another wish—an act of kindness. The man grinned up at her through stained teeth and rheumy eyes.

It came to her then that she was happy.

Truly happy.

Deep-down happy.

Anne Marie had felt good earlier in the day, but that was the contentment that came from a sunny day, seeing old friends, spending a relaxing hour with her knitting class.

Granted, her newly formed optimism had a lot to do with these feelings. But her unrestrained amusement was something else—the ability to respond to life’s absurdities with a healthy burst of laughter.

It meant the healing had begun, and she was well on her way back to life, back to being herself, reaching toward acceptance.

When they returned to the apartment, it was still light out. Ellen had a number of small tasks to perform. She watered the small tomato, cucumber and zucchini seedlings they’d planted in egg cartons last Sunday. Once Ellen was home at her grandmother’s, Anne Marie would help the girl plant her own small garden. They’d already planted a container garden on Anne Marie’s balcony, with easy-care flowers like impatiens and geraniums.

As soon as she’d finished the watering, Ellen phoned her grandmother. Anne Marie spoke to the older woman, too.

“I don’t know why these doctors insist on keeping me here,” Dolores grumbled. “I’m fit as a fiddle. Ready to go home.”

“It won’t be long now,” Anne Marie told her.

“I certainly hope so.” She sobered a bit. “How’s Ellen doing? Don’t whitewash the truth for me. I need to know.”

“She misses you.”

“Well, of course she does. I miss her, too.”

Anne Marie smiled. “Actually, she’s doing really well.”

Dolores Falk sighed expressively. “God love you, Anne Marie. I don’t know what Ellen and I would’ve done without you.”

The praise embarrassed her. She was the one who’d truly benefited from having the child.

When Ellen had done her homework, the two of them knit in front of the television. Ellen had completed the scarf for her grandmother and started a much more ambitious project, a pair of mitts. After an hour’s knitting, she had a bath and put on her brand-new pajamas. She crawled into her bed. Prayers were shorter than usual that night, since Ellen was especially tired, and then Anne Marie read to her. They were now on the third “Little House” book and rereading these childhood favorites gave Anne Marie great pleasure. Ellen fell asleep listening.

When Anne Marie got down from the bed, Baxter hopped up to take her place.

The small apartment was quiet now, and a feeling of peace surrounded her. As always, she kept the bedroom door partially ajar for Ellen, who was afraid of the dark.

Tiptoeing down the hallway to her own bedroom, Anne Marie opened her binder of Twenty Wishes. She wanted to document the fact that she’d laughed. As Ellen had said, that was, indeed, one of her wishes.

She turned the pages in the binder and reviewed her list. She added a few more.

16. Go to Central Park in New York and ride a horse- drawn carriage

17. Catch snowflakes on my tongue and then make snow angels

18. Read all of Jane Austen

Lillie and Barbie had both said they wanted to fall in love again. Anne Marie wasn’t sure she did. Love had brought her more grief than joy. She’d loved Robert to the very depths of her soul, and his sudden death had devastated her.

Then to learn he’d had an affair with his personal assistant… The betrayal of it still felt like a crushing weight.

Anne Marie closed her eyes at the pain.

“Stop it,” she said aloud. “Stop it right now.”

She felt suddenly angry with herself. It was as if she’d set out to dismantle the positive attitude she’d so carefully created and destroy all the happiness she’d managed to find by thinking of everything that had gone wrong. No, she wouldn’t do it; she refused to let herself reexamine the pain of the last months.

Turning a page, she looked at the picture of the Eiffel Tower.

Someday she’d go.

Someday that wish, too, would be fulfilled.