Читать книгу Unexpected Father - Delores Fossen - Страница 10

Jason braced himself for Lilly’s reaction. Or rather, he tried to. It was hard to brace himself for something he wasn’t sure he could handle.

“Oh, God,” Lilly mumbled. Not exactly the hostile accusation that he thought she might fire in his direction. After all, he’d just confessed to claiming her child. “You took Megan in. You’ve been raising her.”

It was a lot more than that. Yes, he’d taken the child in. Yes, he was raising her. But he also loved her. More than life. More than anything.

And he couldn’t lose her.

“I’ll bet taking care of a baby required some serious lifestyle changes for you,” Lilly commented. Not chitchat, though. Her eyes were too strained for that, and there was a slight tremble in her voice—which probably meant she was as thunderstruck as he was.

She’d just learned that she had a daughter.

And Jason had just learned that he might lose one.

“I made a few lifestyle changes,” he admitted. He tried to rein in his feelings. Failed. “It was worth it. Megan’s a sweet kid.”

Now there was a reaction from Lilly. Something small and subtle. But he could almost see the realization come to her. She’d had a child, but for all practical purposes, she wasn’t in the picture.

Jason didn’t think it was much of a stretch that Lilly would soon want to change that.

“Well…” Lilly started. But she didn’t finish whatever thought she’d intended to voice. Instead she looked down at the picture. She held it as if it were delicate crystal that might shatter in her hands. “She has my hair. Greg’s eyes, though.” She lifted a shoulder. An attempt at a nonchalant shrug. But there was nothing nonchalant about any of this. “Your eyes, too.”

Yes. The infamous Lawrence gray eyes that seemed to be the equivalent of a mood ring. Silvery pearl, sometimes, and on those not-so-good sometimes—gunmetal and steel. Megan had them in spades, along with the olive-tinged completion that was the genetic contribution from Greg’s and his Hispanic grandmother. Megan was a Lawrence through and through.

But Jason could see Lilly in the child’s face, too. The way Megan sometimes defiantly lifted her chin. The sly, clever smile that could melt away botched cases, heavy workloads, long hours at work and other unsavory things. At first, it’d been difficult for him to see the smile, Lilly’s smile, on the mouth of the child he loved.

DNA sure had a bent sense of humor.

“I want to see her, of course,” Lilly said.

It wasn’t exactly a request, either. She certainly hadn’t framed it with a please and hadn’t left room for argument.

Though Jason wanted to argue.

Worse, he wanted to take Megan and run. To hide her so that he wouldn’t lose her. But not only was that a stupid reaction, it would be wrong. He’d been the one to raise Megan—so far—but now that Lilly was awake and on the road to recovery, he no longer had sole claim to her.

Maybe he wouldn’t have any claim at all.

And that sent a stab of pain straight through his heart.

“I’ll make arrangements for you to see her,” Jason offered, once he could speak. “When you’re feeling up to it.”

There was a flash of that sly smile, and it was tinged with sarcasm. “I think it’s safe to say that I’ll feel up to seeing her anytime, any place. After all, she is my daughter.”

Jason had somehow known, and feared, that she would say that. “I just wasn’t sure you’d want her to visit you here in the hospital.”

It wasn’t a lie. Exactly. That had crossed his mind. It’d also crossed his mind that he wanted to delay the visit so he could prepare Megan. How, he didn’t know. It wasn’t always easy to reason with a baby. But perhaps he could show Megan pictures of Lilly so she wouldn’t be frightened of meeting a stranger who just happened to be her mother.

Picture recognition might help Megan. But it wouldn’t do much to soothe his fears. Nothing could do that.

“Besides, it’s late,” Jason added. “Nearly six.”

And he was babbling. Hell. He wasn’t a babbler. Worse, he seemed to be grasping at straws, at anything, to postpone what he knew he couldn’t postpone.

“All right,” Lilly said. She kept her attention staked to him. “This definitely qualifies as an awkward moment. We’re a lot closer to being enemies than we are friends, and yet you did this incredible, wonderful thing by taking in my—”

“Don’t,” Jason interrupted. He took a moment to gain control of his voice, and his temper, before he continued. “I don’t want your thanks.” He could handle her hostility, even her sarcasm, even that damn sly smile, before he could handle her gratitude. “I said I’d arrange for you to see Megan, and I will.”

Lilly nodded. “I might not be reading you right, but I get the feeling there’s something else. Something you’re not telling me.”

Well, the coma hadn’t dulled her instincts. That was both good and bad news. He wanted Lilly to be healthy and on the road to recovery. He truly did. But Jason had been counting on having a few days or even weeks before having to tell her everything. Not just about Megan and his custody. Other things, like the events surrounding the night she’d nearly died.

Panic began to race through her eyes. “Is Megan okay? There’s nothing wrong with—”

“Megan’s perfectly healthy,” he told her. “She’s had normal childhood illnesses, of course. An ear infection. A cold or two. Nothing major.”

The pulse on her neck was pounding so hard that Jason could actually see it. “However?” she questioned.

Yes, there was a however.

Jason considered the several ways he could go with this, including just ending the conversation and heading out. If he followed department regulations to a tee, he should just turn this over to the lead detective. But he couldn’t do that to Lilly. Despite their past and the inevitable obstacles they would no doubt face in the future, there was some information she needed to know.

The operative word was some.

Jason groaned and scrubbed his hand over his face. “The police will want to question you about the car accident.”

Her brief silence probably meant she was processing that. Not just his comment but his groan, as well. She leaned closer. So close that he could see all those swirls of blue and green in her eyes. “Are you saying they weren’t able to figure out what happened?”

It was touchy territory and, as Jason had done several times during their conversation, he considered his answer carefully. “They’ll want an eyewitness statement to the incident, and you’re the ultimate eyewitness. It’s standard procedure.” He hesitated, gathered his breath. “They also want to talk to you about the information you found when you were going through your father’s old business records.”

“You mean, the computer files that implicated some people in my father’s dirty dealings?” Lilly didn’t wait for him to confirm that. “I remember copying those files to a CD.”

“Yes. You’d called a friend in S.A.P.D. and told him about them.”

“Sergeant Garrett O’Malley.” Lilly touched her fingers to her left temple and massaged it gently. At first. Then, as the frustration began to show on her face, her massage got a little harder until her fingers pressed into her skin. “After I copied the files, things get a little fuzzy.”

Jason latched right on to that because even though her memory might not be totally intact, she still might be able to provide them with some critical details. “Just how fuzzy is fuzzy?”

“A big, giant blur.” The temple massage obviously wasn’t working so she stopped and huffed. “Did I give the CD to Sgt. O’Malley?”

He shook his head. “But you’d planned to do that the next morning.”

She bobbed her head in an almost frantic nod. “Now I remember. I took the CD from my computer at the office and got into my car in the parking lot.” Lilly froze. Her gaze froze, too, for several long moments before slowly coming back to his. “The CD wasn’t with me when I had the accident?”

“No.” This conversation was quickly taking them into uncomfortable territory. Because of their history together and because it didn’t fall under his department, the best thing he could do was to back away. He definitely shouldn’t be the one to interrogate her. “Look, you have enough to deal with right now—”

“And stalling won’t help me deal with it any faster, okay? Tell me what’s wrong, Jason.”

He couldn’t. The timing sucked, and whether Lilly believed it or not, she wasn’t strong enough, mentally or physically, to hear the truth.

“You’re still stalling,” Lilly pointed out.

Yes, he was.

And he would continue to do so until he’d taken care of a few things. Such as security, for instance. At a minimum, he wanted a guard posted outside her room. Just as a precaution, especially since no one other than the medical staff and he knew that she was out of the coma. Then he needed to get the doctor’s approval to allow the lead detective to tell Lilly what would essentially be yet another bombshell. One even bigger than the one he’d already delivered.

Because nineteen months ago, Lilly’s car accident hadn’t really been an accident.

In fact, Jason was about a hundred percent certain that someone had tried to murder her.

THE ROOM was too quiet.

No voices. No doctors. And definitely no Jason. He’d left hours ago with a promise to return. Lilly repeated his words now, using the Terminator’s thickly accented voice, and she added a hollow laugh.

God, how Jason must hate her.

First, there was her part in Greg’s death. Or from Jason’s perspective, not her part. She was entirely responsible. She accepted that. She was responsible. And no amount of penance, wishing or grieving would bring Greg back.

Nothing would.

Of course, Jason now had a new reason to despise her: Megan. He no doubt saw her as a threat to his custody. That was true, as well, a realization that didn’t make Lilly feel like issuing even a hollow laugh. This would almost certainly turn into a long battle where there would be no winners, least of all her daughter.

Lilly tried to force her eyes to stay open. Hard to do, though. If the clock was accurate on her bed stand, it was already past midnight, the end of what had been one of the most exhausting days of her life.

She could blame the fatigue in part on the physical therapy that she’d demanded. A two-hour session. Grueling. Painful. Essentially she’d discovered during the session that her muscles felt like pudding and were just about as useful. It would take “lots of time and hard work,” the physical therapist had said, for her to regain complete use of her limbs.

Lilly didn’t mind the hard work, but she wouldn’t settle for the lots of time.

She planned to be walking by the end of the week.

It wasn’t exactly an option, either. She needed to be mobile so she could see her daughter. She wanted to start building a life with the child she hadn’t even known existed until six hours ago.

A child she already desperately loved.

She hugged the picture to her chest and tried to stave off the tears. She failed. They came anyway. Tears of joy and sadness. The joy was there because she had a precious little daughter. The sadness, because she’d already missed so much of her baby’s life.

She wouldn’t miss anything else.

Thanks to Jason, her baby had apparently been well cared for—by the last man on earth whom she thought would do her any favors. Of course, Megan was his flesh and blood, as well. Greg’s daughter. Jason’s niece. That was probably the real reason he’d stepped up to the fatherly plate. He’d loved his brother. Therefore, he’d love his brother’s child.

In spite of the fact that Megan was her child, too.

There was true irony in that. Her sworn enemy had her daughter. Not just had her, either. Jason was her legal custodian. A father by law. And he was the only parent Megan had ever known. It wouldn’t be easy for her to try to find her place in her baby’s life.

But she did have a place.

And no matter how hard it was, she would find it.

Her eyelids drifted down again, but she fought it. It was irrational, but the thought of sleep actually terrified her. Because she might not wake up. Because she might lapse into another coma and stay there. In a permanent vegetative state. Alive in name only.

“That won’t happen,” Dr. Staten had promised her when he’d checked on her after the physical therapy session.

However, Lilly hated to take the chance. Still, she couldn’t stop her eyes from shutting. She couldn’t stop the fatigue from taking over. And the quietness of the room and the night closed in around her.

Clutching her daughter’s picture, she drifted off to the one place she didn’t want to go: sleep.

She dreamed of walking, her hand gently holding her daughter’s. Of hope. Of a future Lilly hadn’t even known she’d wanted until she’d seen the photo of Megan. Her baby’s smile. Her eyes.

Then the dream changed.

It became dark and Lilly felt pressure on her face and chest. Painful, punishing pressure that made her feel as if her ribs were ready to implode.

She fought the dream, shaking her head from side to side. When that didn’t work, she shoved at the pressure with her hands and forced herself to wake up.

Her eyes flew open.

The darkness stayed.

So did the god-awful pressure.

It was unbearable. She couldn’t breath. Couldn’t speak. Couldn’t move.

It took a moment to understand why. The darkness and the pressure weren’t remnants of the dream. They were real. Very real. Because someone was shoving a pillow against her face. Suffocating her.

Someone wanted her dead.