Читать книгу Bedded by the Warrior - Denise Lynn, Denise Lynn - Страница 13

Sarah leaned over the rail of the ship in fear she would once again disgrace herself. She had never travelled well across water and hated crossing the channel.

But at least she wasn’t alone in this as Adrienna appeared to be having the same difficulty. The only difference was that the Earl was at Adrienna’s side.

‘Are you always this ill aboard a ship?’

She jumped at William’s question. He’d come from behind, startling her.

‘Yes. And I swear if I never again have to cross another body of water it will still be too soon.’

William rubbed her back and Sarah rested her forehead on the rail, accepting his offer of comfort.

‘Stand up and open your eyes.’ He leaned next to her on the railing, drawing her closer to his side. ‘If you don’t look at the water, it isn’t as bad.’

She peered at the rolling waves and swallowed hard. ‘But that’s all there is to look at.’

‘Look at the sky instead.’

Sarah closed her eyes. ‘I would rather look at nothing.’

‘Don’t you think that just makes it worse?’

Her stomach rolled. How could it be any worse? ‘How so?’

He moved behind her. ‘If you look at the water, you see only the rolling of the waves.’

She couldn’t argue with that assessment.

William pulled her against his chest, forcing her to stand upright. ‘And if you keep your eyes closed, your mind still sees the rolling.’

Sarah groaned. ‘Let me go.’

He only held her tighter. ‘No. Look up at the sky. It remains still.’

Too weak to argue with him, or fight his embrace, she tipped her head back, resting it against his shoulder and looked up at the cloudless sky.

When the ship swayed with another swell, William spread his legs, planting his feet further apart. To her amazement, he held her steady against him. And to her relief, the rolling of her stomach lessened.

‘Why are you being so kind?’

‘Because you are ill.’

She pressed harder into the warmth at her back. ‘And if I wasn’t?’

Against her ear, he whispered, ‘I wouldn’t be holding you in my arms.’

His answer gave Sarah reason to pause. He wasn’t being kind because he cared, but because he felt obligated. Not that it mattered, she didn’t want him to care for her. But for a reason she couldn’t name, the knowledge made her uneasy.

‘Since I’m no longer ill, you can let me go.’

Without a word, the arms holding her close fell away and the warmth at her back disappeared.

William cast a sidelong glance at his wife and toyed with the urge to reach across the distance separating them to draw her forcibly to his side. But her near total silence since leaving the ship had made him realise that it would eventually prove useless. As soon as he left her alone, she would retreat back into this cave of silence she’d erected around herself.

She spoke only when addressed directly, and never offered anything of a personal nature. She had seemed content to sleep next to him last night and to accept his assistance while crossing the Channel. So why now did she ride silently at his side?

Since he had given her no reason to act in this manner, William knew he’d be a fool to think this was a normal reaction.

His years in captivity might not have given him much chance to figure out how to deal with women, but he’d had plenty of time, and opportunity, to study people in general. Sometimes his life had depended on his ability to read an opponent’s body language, or even the slightest shift of a gaze.

After a while he’d come to understand that sudden kindness, or attentiveness, would soon spell disaster—if not death. When a jailer doled out extra food, permitted a man to slack in his training, or feigned interest in one particular person, that person had been chosen to die in the arena.

Unfortunately, it also worked in the other direction. When the guards intentionally singled out a prisoner to withhold food and human contact, that person was slated for death, too.

In either case, the death was never in a quick, or easy manner.

Out of self-preservation, the prisoners manipulated each other as much as the guards did. If a man started to pay closer attention, or suddenly decided he wanted to befriend you, he was looking to discover your weaknesses. Once a weakness was detected, it would be used against you in battle.

But sometimes the intentions were even more devious. Stefan of Arnyll found great amusement in breaking a man’s spirit. He thought nothing of befriending others only to pass on information to the jailors. Information that would be used by the jailers, or the slave master, to mentally beat a strong man down until he could easily be defeated and killed.

Due to Arnyll and his vileness, William had learned that his own spirits could be slashed. However, he’d also discovered that sometimes beating a man down did not weaken him…it only made him stronger.

He glanced again at his wife. She’d been so intent on making certain that he understood why she’d so readily spied for the Queen. Too intent. At the same time, she’d never voiced any believable relief that those days were over. Which led him to wonder if perhaps they weren’t.

Eleanor had accepted his offer to wed Sarah far too easily. He was penniless and untitled. Had he made a formal offer for her hand, he would have been laughed out of the court.

The Queen was experienced with playing court politics. Especially since it was her court. She was not a simple participant in the intrigue—she was the manipulator in charge.

So, what had been behind her easy acceptance of Sarah’s marriage to one who could advance nothing? He had never come under the Queen’s direct focus. But Hugh had.

Was it possible that Sarah was keeping an eye on the Earl through him? If so, why? She needed to understand that he’d not let anything happen to Hugh.

More than friends, William, Hugh and Guy of Hartford had shared more than a cell. In a place where friendship often spelled death, they’d shared their loyalty to each other. More than once they’d gone hungry for each other and borne the bite of the lash together.

William cursed. He’d had enough of this. He grabbed the reins to her horse, jerking them through her hands. Before she could say anything, he shouted ahead to Hugh, ‘I will rejoin you shortly.’

Sarah reached for the reins. ‘William, what are you doing?’

He ignored her, and turned their horses around to head back the way they’d just come. The Earl’s men were nearby. They’d been following, guarding their lord, since the ship carrying them across the channel had docked.

The men were familiar with William, so he didn’t worry about them distracting him. While they might be curious, they’d stay close to the Earl, leaving William alone with Sarah.

Once William had led them a short distance away, he dismounted, and looped the horses’ reins around the stout branch of a bush. Sarah was halfway off her horse when he pulled her hard against him.

‘What are you doing?’ She pushed against his chest. ‘Let me go.’

He might not know much about dealing with women in general, but he had learned a thing or two about his wife.

With one hand twisted into her hair, and the other holding her firmly to him, he tugged her head back and cut off her shout with his lips.

William knew she’d be angry, but at the moment, he didn’t care. He was done being nice. It had got him nowhere thus far.

And if he knew nothing else about her, he knew for a certainty that she could be kissed senseless. Right now, it seemed the perfect weapon. In truth, it seemed the only weapon.

She leaned against him, her hands on his shoulders as she returned his kiss, and William feared this weapon was two-edged. He’d meant to set her senses afire, to take her off guard.

Yet his pulse pounded in his ears. His blood rushed hot through his veins. And his senses flamed. A kiss would not be enough. The mere touching of their lips, the feel of her soft body pressed against his chest and the meeting of their tongues did nothing to squelch the growing desire.

He wanted her. And while he was man enough to admit that he wanted her to feel the same, William also recognised the anger flaring beneath his desire.

They were wed. As much as Sarah would detest his logic, she was his. He tore his lips from hers and hoarsely berated, ‘You have no right, no cause for this, Sarah.’

She stared up at him, her eyes luminous and large against her flushed face. ‘What? I have no cause for what?’

‘No right to withhold yourself from me.’ Even as he said it, William knew his allegation sounded like an insignificant complaint. But he couldn’t help how it sounded. No more than he could help how he felt.

She blinked twice before asking, ‘This is because I will not share your bed?’

‘No.’ That was a lie. ‘Yes.’ And that was not quite the full truth. ‘Partially. You withhold yourself in all ways. Do you think I do not notice your coldness, or your complete lack of attention? You speak to me only when you have to do so.’

Sarah could hardly believe what she was hearing. But his firm hold on her braid, the suppressed rage simmering beneath the pain in his tone, and the intensity in his hard stare made her aware of the deadly seriousness of his accusation.

Ignoring him with hopes he’d leave her alone in disgust had worked against her. William was not disgusted. He was angry—and his rage was beyond simple anger.

Why had she not seen this coming? How had she been so blind?

Sarah closed her eyes against the all-too-familiar tightening in her chest. She’d not seen this coming because she’d been too absorbed in her own misery.

While staring into the fire last night, she’d decided to protect herself by not letting this man get too close. Then again this morning aboard ship his actions had only confirmed her decision. It was the only way she could think of to save herself the pain of guilt when her task was completed.

Unfortunately, it seemed that her tactic to ignore and avoid him had gone horribly wrong. She’d seen his sidelong looks and had felt his increasingly intense stares. She should have known that William was not the type of man to fade quietly into the background. She should have stopped this before it’d gone too far.

Her ploy had been selfish and childish. And where had it got her? She looked up at him and nearly gasped at the blatant hunger on his face.

Sarah swallowed hard before she whispered, ‘William, I—’

Again he cut her words off with his lips. And all she could do was hang on to his shoulders for support, otherwise she feared falling to the ground.

A part of her briefly wondered what manner of spell he wove around her so easily. How could just a kiss steal her will, her strength and leave her near swooning?

And how was it possible that, while she feared his brand of sorcery, she hungered for more of the same?

Sarah knew without a doubt that if William so desired he could easily lay her down upon the ground and make her his wife in more than name. She also knew that she would not lift a hand, or speak a word, to stop him.

‘Why have you acted so?’

To her surprise his breath rasped hot against her ear. She hadn’t even been aware that his lips had left hers.

Not sure how to answer him, she said, ‘I don’t know, William. I don’t know.’

When he dragged his teeth lightly along the side of her neck, before following the trail with his lips, Sarah felt the ripple of shivers clear to her toes. She tilted her head as if offering him more of her flesh to torment.

‘Ah, Sarah, I will have no more of your half-truths and lies.’

How did he know? What did he mean he would have no more of them? What did he intend to do? The questions flitted about her mind. But before she could make sense of them, he again kissed her.

This time there was no mistaking his intent. He seemed determined to steal her ability to think, or to form any rational thought, from her mind.

Sarah leaned closer against him and wound her arms about his neck. He stroked her side, then cupped her breast, his touch barely grazing the sensitive tip. She moaned softly as her senses fled.

When he held her so tightly, caressed her so deftly, and kissed her so thoroughly, what need had she for rational thoughts?

‘Ah, Sarah.’ He breathed her name against her ear. The heated warmth only fuelled her desire to a fevered pitch. ‘What game do you play with me?’

Unable to form a coherent sentence, she shook her head and leaned into his still-teasing touch.

‘Are you still spying for the Queen?’

Before she could answer, he traced the seam of her parted lips with his tongue. William smiled briefly against her mouth when she shivered. He repeated the movement, then asked, ‘Are you, Sarah?’

‘Yes. I—’At her own breathless whisper, she froze, leaving her sentence unfinished. The desire flowing through her limbs vanished, leaving behind an icy-cold chill.

William released her and stepped away.

Unwilling to look at what she knew would be smuglaced anger on his face, she turned away. He hadn’t wanted her. He hadn’t cared that she’d been ignoring him. He’d only wanted answers, so he’d tricked her.

And she’d fallen for his tactics like some gullible, foolish girl.

Sarah wrapped her arms round her stomach, trying to hold the twisting and churning at bay. Had she followed the Queen’s sage advice and held him at arm’s length, this would not have taken place.

She had only herself to blame.

‘Explain yourself.’ His voice cut through her self-pity as easily as a sword would slice through warm beeswax.

‘Explain myself?’ Without turning around, she shrugged. ‘What can I tell you? That I will most likely die of old age still in the Queen’s service? That there is no escape for me?’

‘Your escape was at hand when you left the court as a married woman. You no longer had to serve Queen Eleanor. So, why? Just tell me why, Sarah.’

‘I—’

‘At least have the decency to look at me.’

Sarah tugged at her lower lip. She didn’t want to look at him. Didn’t want to see the disgust in his eyes—even though his disgust was what she’d been trying so hard to find. But more than that, she had no desire for him to witness her shame.

He pulled her around to face him, giving her no choice in the matter. ‘I said look at me.’

Even as he released her, she kept her eyes tightly closed against the harsh tone of his voice. Her mind chided her relentlessly, It is your own fault.

After taking a deep breath, she opened her eyes and looked up at him. What she saw nearly took her breath away as she stumbled backwards.

Instead of the smug rage or disgust that she’d expected, she was almost certain what she saw was the tightly concealed look of pain and confusion. The confusion was understandable, but the pain? Surely she’d only imagined it.

She gritted her teeth, hoping the act would lend her strength against the guilt that seemed to be growing each hour. Certain she could now speak without dissolving into a bout of self-loathing, she said, ‘I—’

The shouts of men and the pounding of hooves cut off her explanation.

William grabbed her and the horses’ reins at the same time. He quickly tossed her up on the saddle, turned the horse in the direction the Earl and Adrienna had gone, and ordered, ‘Go.’

Fear that the men charging toward them could be from the Queen kept her from questioning William. Sarah had no information for Queen Eleanor and she wished not to lose her life, or his, for that lack. So, she leaned as low over her horse’s neck as the saddle would permit and rode for her life.

Over the deafening beating of her heart, she heard the deadly hiss of a sword scraping out of its wooden scabbard. When she lifted her head to look behind her, William shouted, ‘No. Just ride.’

Not in a position to argue, Sarah rode. She flew past trees and bushes so quickly that her stomach lodged in her throat. Yet she hung on, insanely trusting that this man she’d plotted to betray would keep her safe.

She glanced ahead and saw the Earl and Adrienna also riding like the wind. When the Earl turned his head and spotted them, he took the lead, putting the women in the middle, with William to bring up the rear.

Hugh careened to a halt at a small clearing and quickly dismounted, as he ordered, ‘Into the woods.’

On foot they led their horses off the path and into the more protective cover of the woods. Sarah pushed another small tree branch out of her way. “I no longer hear anyone. Why are we leaving the road?”

‘Simply because you do not hear, or see, them does not mean they are not there.’ William explained.

‘So we are hiding from someone we can neither see nor hear?’

William walked alongside her and said, ‘If you would rather wait for them here, you can do so alone.’

The brisk tone of his voice let her know that he was not jesting. She shook her head. ‘No. I’ll stay with you.’

He raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. Which was fine as far as Sarah was concerned. She’d had enough of his attention for this day.

They plodded along in silence behind the Earl and Adrienna for what seemed hours, or perhaps years. Tired and hungry, she wasn’t certain any longer.

William grasped her elbow and slowed their steps, putting a little more distance between them and the other couple. After a few moments, he stopped.

Sarah held her breath. Surely he wasn’t going to continue their discussion now?

‘We need to talk.’

She glanced toward Hugh and Adrienna before dragging her gaze back to stare up at William. ‘Now?’

He reached out and wiped something from her cheek, hesitating for a heartbeat before removing his touch. ‘No. It is apparent to me what it’s going to take to get you to tell me everything. So, obviously we’re going to need more privacy than these woods can provide.’

From the glimmer in his eyes and the tilt of his lips, she knew exactly what he was planning. The knowledge made her want to scream. Instead, she swallowed, then asked, ‘You intend to what? Turn my body against me to get the answers you want?’

William stroked the tip of his finger lightly along her lower lip. At her involuntary shiver, he shrugged. ‘It seems to work.’

‘Why, you—you—’ She was so livid at his dispassionate attitude that she couldn’t find words vile enough to spew at him. She took a deep breath and narrowed her eyes. ‘And how will you know if I lie or not?’

He cupped the side of her head. When she tried to jerk away from his touch, he simply curled his fingers into the hair covering the back of her head, and held her in place. ‘Because I will ask you over…’ he leaned closer ‘…and over…’ he lowered his head to whisper against her lips ‘…and over again.’

She hated what he did to her. Hated it. Hated him. Hated herself and her weakness more. Yet she let her eyelids flutter closed in expectation of his kiss.

When it did not come, Sarah opened her eyes and stared into his steely stare. He thought he was going to toy freely with her? She raised her leg, and with all her might trounced soundly on his foot.

While she gained a slight measure of satisfaction from his flinch, she hadn’t expected him to jerk her forwards and cover her mouth with his. The moment she relaxed, he released her and pushed her away.

Sarah swiped the back of her hand across her mouth. ‘Do you plan on doing that every time you need to coerce or punish me?’

Not for a moment did William think her question unfair. He deserved the query and her dismissive action. But he wasn’t about to back down now by begging her forgiveness. He didn’t want her forgiveness. He wanted her honesty. Was that too much to ask for in a marriage?

Instead of apologising, he pinned her with a glare and answered, ‘If that’s what it takes to get an answer from you, then yes.’

Without waiting for her to respond, he waved a hand toward Hugh and Adrienna. ‘Let’s go.’

‘Go?’ With her fists braced against her hips, Sarah drew herself up to her full height, putting her face just about level with his chest, and then stared up at him. ‘Just like you’re ordering about a dog, is that it?’

If she had the slightest hint of how her flashing blue eyes and flushed cheeks made his blood rush, she’d close her mouth and chase after the other couple as quickly as possible.

Thankfully, she didn’t have the slightest hint. She was convinced that the only reason he touched her, or kissed her was as she’d said—for coercion or…punishment. William swallowed a groan at the thought of punishing her. He’d sooner cut off his sword arm than lay a hand, or mouth, on her in a fit of rage.

Once she calmed down, she’d likely figure that out for herself. In the meantime, what harm was there in taking advantage of her misplaced thoughts?